I got closer to George and he held me tight and assured me we'd be okay.
I thought about Glyn.
Maybe what I really needed all this time wasn't to be with him after all the years we were apart. Maybe it was to get a taste of life without George Harrison and to realize it was always him that I loved. We have been through so much together and I missed what it felt like to live this sensitive man.
Since the day I walked in to meet the Beatles when they were at the height of their popularity in the sixties, and I saw George leaning on the window and looking out. The others were messing with me for not knowing them and he was honest and straightforward and there for me from the get go.
Our lives have changed so much since then.
A flood of memories hit me.
"I love you George Harrison," I finaly said to him with tears in my eyes.
"Then promise me," he responded, "no matter how hard things get in our lives that you won't ever give up on us, on this."
"Everything I am going to sacrifice for our family," I said to him, "it will all be worth it, I promise you."
Olivia and Glyn were back where they wanted to be. Olivia is from Los Angeles and Glyn has lived here for years, operating mainly from here with his business.
The only thing interfering with our escape back to London with our children is my child with Glyn. Ethan is the biggest miracle baby in my life, and even if Glyn and I were to separate; I will always be grateful that I was able to give Glyn the child he always wanted.
I was not going to leave him behind. He needs his mother and I wouldn't be able to have him stay in America without me.
"Glyn will understand," George said reading my mind.
I took some deep breaths and then told George to wait until after the grand opening of my company.
I had planned so much and Olivia is so involved. I didn't want it all to go down the drain, we have worked so hard and our models were just getting started.
Until then we would keep our secret.
....
Three weeks later :
After working hard for weeks on the big grand opening and trying to avoid having personal conversations with Olivia; who was still "happily engaged" and living with the man I love, the reality of what was going on hit me hard.
I knew Glyn could sense me being distant and how I was preferring to sleep on the chair in Ethan's room as he slept in his crib, rather than crawling into bed with my him; my husband.
I woke up from Ethan starting to cry and I picked him up to soothe him. I started to sing him a tune that had popped into my head, something I had heard in a dream.
Suddenly, Glyn came into the room.
"Is everything okay?" he asked me, gently touching my arm.
I began to sob. The floodgates were open.
"No," I said and he realized we weren't talking about Ethan.
"Is this about George?" he asked me and caught me off guard.
When I didn't respond he sat down in the chair that I have been using as a bed of sorts, and just looked at me and waited.
"You've been through so much," he finally said to me, "you were shot at, you were a part of a home invasion, you carried our twins and only took one baby home," he started to get emotional.
I carried Ethan over and sat beside him in the chair.
He held us both.
"You've been my best friend," he said, "since you were married to George and I couldn't have you."
"And now we have this beautiful son together," I smiled at our boy who was falling back asleep and so I set him in his crib and came back where Glyn held me in the same way once more.
"What is it that you think you want?" He then asked.
"A part of me wants to be with all of my kids and ... their father," I gulped.
It was all too much to unleash on Glyn but he handled it maturely.
"How did you realize I felt this way?" I asked him when he sat there in silence reflecting on my answer.
"I have known you for how long?" he smirked, "you have been different since going to London, and a part of me wishes you didn't fly back home to be here for Tom.... a part of me wishes you had more time there with George and the kids to figure that all out."
"I slept with him," I confessed, "he was my husband and... he... I..."
"Lauren," he shook his head, "I don't need to hear an explanation."
"Im sorry," was all I could say.
"Well whatever you decide, I will always support you and love you," he said, his voice cracking with pain.
"Somehow I knew you would react this way," I said to him, "I don't deserve you for being this understanding."
"Our life together has had purpose," he kissed the top of my head, "You've given me the greatest gift in my life."
Ethan.
"I just don't know what I want," I cried, "I couldn't bare to leave Ethan and I wouldn't want to take him from you."
"Well that's what happens when people divorce," he said, "I will have to visit and show my son how much I love him."
"My little miracle baby," I smiled over at our son.
"Does George want what you want?" He then asked.
I nodded.
....
Ironically, the very same day that I confessed my feelings for George to Glyn, I walked into my office to get work done and Olivia was in there sobbing waiting to talk to me.
"Liv?" I called her name to get her attention.
"Oh Lauren," she cried, "I came straight here, I didn't know where else to go."
"What happened?" I rushed to her side to console her. I rubbed my hand on her back and tried to get her to talk.
I was almost certain George had ended things but I had no idea if he told her that it was because of his feelings for me.
"We need to talk," she babbled, "about all of this... about the grand opening next week.. about how to move forward..."
"Liv what are you talking about?" I asked her.
"George ended our engagement and..." she looked pained.
I took a step back, I could sense that he had told her. Then why was she here? Why was she confronting me and sitting at my desk.
"Well if you aren't going to come out with it," I said, "I am going to leave this room and get to work."
"What's the point?" she asked me sincerely through her tears.
"What did George tell you?" I asked her, this was no longer a friendly conversation.
"He wants to be with you," she said, "and do not pretend like you didn't know... you've been lying to me for weeks."
This was true, and I felt terrible.
"I told Glyn this morning too," I confessed to her.
She looked shocked.
"So its all true," she said putting everything together, "you and George have been sneaking around behind both of our backs."
"We have a bond that's kind of unspoken - we were together and we just rekindled and realized what we both wanted - with our children."
She sat there in silence.
"I loved your children beyond measure," she cried once more and I approached her to hug her apologetically. I did care about her as a friend.
"No," she said stopping me.
"I am done," she said, "You can change the name.. or keep it or... figure something out but I don't want any part in this - I am going to go separate ways with you and George and... this world. "
She was angry.
"Please don't," I said to her, "I want you to have it all, I will sign everything over to you. I will give you the guidance you may need, introduce you to the people that will help."
She stood at the door and now was turning around upon hearing this.
"Its everything you can imagine and more," I said to her, "and I will have no part in the fashion show or grand opening if that's what you decide."
She paused before turning back around to leave.
"I need time," she said to me with her back turned.
I worked hard on the planning for next weeks event as if nothing had happened and met with Heather, Brooke, Cindy and Christie for lunch. I didn't let them in on what was happening with the business but just got them prepared for how things would go down on the big day.
"Is there a performer yet?" Cindy asked.
"Is it going to be Fleetwood Mac?" Brooke wondered, "Or Tom Petty?"
"Definitely not Tom," I shook my head, "Hes still recovering and no, Fleetwood will be on tour still."
"Can my dad do it?" Heather wondered.
I hadn't even thought about asking Paul - he wasn't usually into playing at events such as these that were more low key, and I knew George couldn't with all of the controversy."
"If you can get him to say yes," I said to her, "I would be extremely thrilled."
When we left lunch she went off to make the formal invitation for him to perform and I was left wondering if I should go home to Glyn, Tom and Ethan or now to George, Ollie, Darry, and Annie.
My two worlds.