"Gracias." Ani Saph sa katulong nang ilapag nito ang mga gamit niya sa loob ng kwarto niya bago siya iwan roon.
They are now in Mexico for the world tournament and they must prepare themselves because it's gonna be a bloody and deadly fight for sure.
Naroon sila sa mansyon na inupahan ni Cornejo upang maging tirahan nila sa buong durasyon ng labanan. May training room din doon para sa kanilang pag-eensayo. They are pampered with everything they need so they can focus on their goal.
Napalingon siya nang bumukas ang pinto at pumasok roon si Finn na nakangiti sa kanya.
"So, how are you feeling? Hindi ka ba nagka-jet lag?" Tanong nito na lumapit na sakanya.
"I'm fine. Sanay ako sa mahahabang lipad. Remember that I was once an assassin who always fly on my mission around the world."
"Right." Sagot ni Finn at saka siya hinalikan.
Gumanti naman siya kaya't lumalim ang kanilang halikan. Unti-unti na siyang nadadala sa kanilang mainit na paghahalikan ngunit ayaw na muna niyang ipaalam sa ibang tao ang kung anuman ang namamagitan sa kanila ng binata dahil mas gusto niyang gawing pribado iyon.
Isa pa ay paniguradong pagbabawalan din sila ni Cornejo dahil iisipin nito na hindi sila makakapag-focus sa kanilang mga laban kaya naman siya na ang unang kumalas.
"Hey, wait-" Ani Finn na hinihila siyang muli upang mahalikan at mayakap.
"We must stop." Wika niya sabay harang ng kanyang kamay sa dibdib nito.
"Why? We're not even started yet."
At akmang hahalikan na naman siya ngunit naglagay na siya ng pwersa sa kanyang kamay upang mas mapigilan na ito.
"We have to be discreet." Aniya.
Sumuko naman na ito at bumitiw na sakanya kahit halatang hindi sang-ayon sa gusto niya.
"I don't understand why you don't want others to know about us. I wanted to shout it out loud for the world to hear that you're mine, that we're together." Sabay kunot noo. "Kinakahiya mo ba ako?"
"Ofcourse not!" Mabilis na tanggi ni Lux. "Who am I compared to you? Ako ang dapat mong ikahiya dahil wala naman akong pangalan. I'm not even an ordinary woman- I'm a nobody."
"Don't be harsh on yourself, Baby, don't say that. You aren't nobody, you're a special woman and you're special to me." Na kinuha pa ang kamay ng dalaga at saka hinalikan ang likod ng palad. "Different but special."
Napangiti naman si Saph sa sinabi sa kanya kaya naman kinintalan niya ang binata ng isang halik sa labi bago niya ito itonulak na upang mapalabas sa kwarto niya.
"We have to be discreet or else, Cornejo wouldn't be so happy. He might back out of our deal and I can't let that happen. Ayokong madamay at mapahamak ang mga bata. He might think that we're not focusing on our incoming battle and he's betting everything he has on us so we better win."
"I'll bet everything I have for you." Anito na hinapit na naman siya sa kanyang baywang at napasandal sila sa likod ng pintuan bago siya muling hinalikan.
Pinagbigyan niya ito at gumanti siya saglit ng halik ngunit kailangan na talaga niyang pigilan kaya't iniharang niyang muli ang kanyang mga kamay sa dibdib nito.
"I'll bet my life for you." At saka umatras. "But for now, we have to play this game. We have to end this so I can be free and be with you."
"Alright, let's finish this together, and then... we'll get out of here." Anito na tinanguan niya habang may ngiti sa labi.
Sabay binigyan siya ng mabilis na halik sa labi bago binuksan ang pintuan at lumabas na.
Napangiti lalo si Saph habang nakasandal sa likod ng pintuan. Napahawak pa siya sa kanyang labi at sobra ang sayang nararamdaman. Hindi siya makapaniwala na nararanasan na niya ang ganoong bagay kagaya ng mga kapatid niya.
She has found her happiness. She has found another reason to live. She has found her hope, her savior in this cruel world. She has found love and she intends to keep it no matter what.
Kaya doble ang pag-iingat niya dahil ayaw niyang maging hadlang iyon upang matapos niya ang napagkasunduan nila ni Cornejo at mas lalong ayaw niya na may humadlang sa kanila ni Finnegan at paghiwalayin sila.
She walked towards her bed to unpack her things when a knock came on her door. She smiled thinking that it was Finn again and he was just teasing her once more.
"Kumatok pa eh kanina nga pumasok lang bigla-bigla." Wika niya habang naglalakad pabalik sa pintuan habang nakangiti. "You are such a flirt-" napahinto siya sa pagsasalita nang pagbukas niya ay hindi ang inaasahan niya ang makikita roon. "Nate-" sambit niya sa lalaking galit ang itsura. "What is it?"
Napaatras siya nang humakbang ito kaya naman tuluyan nang nakapasok ang lalaki sa loob ng kwarto niya.
"What's with you and Brandt?" Tanong nito pagkasara ng pintuan sa likuran nito.
"Nothing."
"You've become a little closer this time." Na humakbang palapit sa kanya. "-a little too close that it's so hard not to notice."
"We just came from a vacation with the kids I'm with and we kinda bonded-"
"-bonded?" Putol nito. "What kind of bond is that? A bond that makes the two of you stick your body to one another, huh?"
"Shut up, Nate, that's not your business anymore!" Anggil niya.
"If it's about you, Xury, I will make it my fucking business!" Mas lalong sumeryoso na ang mukha nito at umaaktong kuya na naman niya. "You're changing and that's because of him."
"What if I am? What's wrong with that? Change is constant. Everyone and everything around us changes. I'm not an exception to that."
"We are who we are. We cannot change ourselves, Xury. We are made like this. We are meant to stay like this till death." Patuloy nito.
"No!" Mariing tanggi niya. "We do not choose how we are made but we can change."
"No!" Ito naman ang tumanggi. "We are, each of us is born with responsibilities. I am not free to choose to be other than I am, nor is anyone." He is clenching his jaw.
"You're wrong!" She answered back while shaking her head. "Even monsters can change if they want to." And clenched her fist. "I want to."
"You want to change yourself? For what? For whom?" Tanong nito na nagtaas pa ng isang kilay. "For him?" Tukoy nito kay Brandt.
"For myself." Taas-noo niyang sagot. "I want to be free from my past, from who I was. I want to be normal again. I want to live where I don't need to constantly look at my back. I want to let go of anything dark that made me like this."
Nate chuckled a bit as if she just cracked a silly joke on him.
"You want to let go of your past? Do you want to live normally like the rest of the people? What's so normal about them? Look how great we are- how special you are. We are meant to be like this, Xury. We are greater than others who only wish to be like us. It's a gift."
"Then I don't want it!" Mabilis niyang sagot. "I'd rather live like the rest of them, have a normal life, and be free. I don't want this gift that you're talking about."
"You want to live normally and be with Brandt, is that it? You want to do things and to have the things that normal people do?"
"Yes." Sagot niya at ang tanging naiisip niya ay ang bumuo ng pamilya kasama ang lalaking mahal niya. "I want it all."
Ngumisi lang ang binata at yumuko habang umiiling nang dahan-dahan. It's as if he's not taking her seriously when she's fucking serious with everything she's telling him.
"People like you and me shouldn't have a family." Anito sabay talikod at tinungo na ang pintuan. "And you know deep inside you that I was right." Nagsalitang muli kahit nakatalikod sa kanya. "So stop dreaming, stop hoping for something you can't have. Stop it now before it's too late, before you get hurt, or before you hurt someone you don't want to. That's how it should be, that's how fucked up our lives are. It's easier to just accept our destiny instead of fighting it, Xury. That's my brotherly advice to you." At saka tuluyang lumabas ng kanyang kwarto.
Napaupo si Saph sa gilid ng kanyang kama at tuluyan nang napatulala. Naapektuhan siya sa sinabi ni Nate. Para bang nagising siya mula sa pangangarap ng gising. Nagkaroon na naman siya ng pag-aalinlangan sa kanyang sarili. Namulat sa kanya na malabo ngang makuha niya ang pinapangarap niya nang ganoon kadali.
She's a murderer and the world will never accept her. She can be happy with Finn right now but until when? If he finds out all the details of what she did, he would hate her for sure. She didn't reveal everything to him yet, because she was not yet ready. Even her biggest worry still remains a secret even to her sisters. No one knows what she's been dealing with for years, what she's been trying to hide and control. Because if something triggers it, everyone she loves will be in danger and she can't let that happen.
Nasabi man niya nang bahagya ang tungkol sa nakaraang katauhan niya sa binata ay natatakot pa din siya sa magiging reaksyon nito kapag nalaman nito ang buong katotohanan sa kanyang pagkatao. Umaasa lang siya na kagaya ng mga lalaking nakilala at minahal ng kanyang mga kapatid ay ganoon din ito na kaya siyang tanggapin at mahalin sa kung sino talaga siya mula noon hanggang ngayon. Dahil handa siyang ibigay ang lahat-lahat kahit ang buhay niya para lang makasama ito habang buhay.
Lumipas ang ilang araw na kanya-kanya silang tatlo nina Juggernaut at Rebel sa pageensayo. Sa susunod na araw na kasi ang simula ng kanilang mga laban. Hindi nila alam kung sino ang kanilang makakatunggali kaya naman kailangan nilang paghandaan nang mabuti. Todo focus sila sa mga ginagawa kaya naman hindi rin gaanong nahahalata ni Finnegan ang pag-iwas nang bahagya ni Saph rito dahil sa pag-aalinlangan niya sa sinabi ni Nate sa kanya.
Todo tulak rin si Cornejo sa kanilang tatlo na paghusayin ang kanilang mga kakayahan sa pakikipaglaban dahil maraming magagaling na kalaban ang lumahok sa tournament. Hindi sila maaaring matalo dahil malaki ang nakasalalay roon.
"I just came from a meeting about the tournament." Anunsiyo ni Cornejo pagkarating nito sa bahay at ipinatawag silang tatlo para makausap.
"Even Kazakova, that damn Russian has signed his team to join the tournament."
Kazakova?
Ani Lux sa isip dahil tila pamilyar sa kaniya ang pangalan.
"The Russian Mafia Boss?" Si Finnegan.
"Yes. Do you know him?" Tanong ni Norberto.
"Not personally but I've met him once. He's an infamous drug lord. He's notoriously evil and untouchable by his government. Walang may gusto na banggain siya dahil siguradong may kalalagyan."
Right! He was once affiliated with Joshua Weber.
Wika ni Saph sa isip nang maalala kung sino ang Russian na pinag-uusapan. Isa ito sa mga kaalyado noon ni Weber at makailang beses na ding nagpunta sa laboratoryo ng FLAW upang makita ang mga illegal na drogang ginagawa mula sa Weber Corp.
"He is indeed a powerful crime lord and has many connections too but in this tournament, his connection is useless. This is a battle of the best fighter and I don't think he got the best." At ngumiti pa sa kanilang tatlo si Cornejo. "I know you can beat his team. You can win against them."
"It's gonna be challenging but I think we can get the upper hand." Mayabang na sagot ni Brandt na bukod tanging sumagot sa kanila.
Samantalang parehong tahimik lang sila Nate at Luxury na mga seryoso ang mukha.
"Is there anything else that you'd still like to discuss with us?" Tanong ni Saph makalipas ang ilang segundo. "Coz if there's none, I'm going back to the training room."
"Sure-sure." Tumatangong sagot ni Norberto. "That's a positive attitude that I need from you. You're so focused on winning and I like it! You're all training so hard to prepare for the battle. So in return, you'll each be rewarded in the end." At sa kay Lux tumitig na nagpapahiwatig tungkol sa naging kasunduan nila.
"Make sure you keep the end of our bargain." Si Brandt na tinanguan naman ni Cornejo.
"Ofcourse. I'm a man of my word." At saka sumenyas na sa mga tauhan para may iutos bago sila muling binalingan. "Go on, continue with your training and later, we will have a feast for dinner."
Naunang lumabas si Lux mula sa isang glass slide door sa likurang bahagi ng mansyon upang magpunta sa training room nila na nakahiwalay sa bahay. Naroon din ang gym at may boxing stage din doon kung saan sila pwedeng magpractice ng match.
"What's your deal with him?" Tanong ni Saph kay Finn habang naglalakad sila papunta sa training room.
"Just a business deal." He vaguely answered.
Sasagot pa sana siya nang maagaw ang atensyon nila dahil sa isang putok ng baril mula sa di kalayuan.
"Where does that come from?!" Tanong niya at nilibot ang paligid.
Nasa gitna kasi ng isang malawak na kakahuyan ang mansyon na nirentahan ni Cornejo at malayo sa kabihasnan kaya naman naalarma siya.
"They're just hunting." Sagot ni Nate na nakasunod din pala sa kanila. "Maraming ganyan dito, mga nangangaso o nagpapraktis lang na bumaril."
At nang muling makarinig sila ng putok ng baril ay isang ibon ang bigla na lang nahulog malapit sa kinaroroonan nila.
Saph walked towards the bird who is badly hurt. It got hit and is bleeding to death. She just stared at it and she wanted to help but she doesn't know how. They were taught on the island the basics of human anatomy and how to conduct first aid and some minor surgeries if ever they'll be needing one. And based on the current state of the bird, she can't save it.
"It's hurting." Aniya na nakatitig sa ibon na kumakawag nang bahagya.
"What do you want to do about it?" Tanong ni Nate sa kaliwa niya.
"I don't know." Aniya na titig na titig pa rin sa kawawang hayop. "But I feel sorry for it. It is suffering from the cruelty of humans."
"Do you want to save it?" Si Nate ulit. "Or do you want to end its misery?"
Nahulog siya sa pag-iisip sa tanong ng lalaki. Ano nga ba ang dapat niyang gawin? Ano ang mas gusto niya?
"Of course, she wants to save it." Si Finnegan ang sumagot para kay Lux. "We can wrap it in a towel and bring it to the nearest vet here." Suhestiyon nito.
"And that's how many miles from here?" Juggernaut is mocking Rebel. "You want to make an effort even though you know it's just a waste of time?"
"It's not a waste of time to save a life." Sagot naman pabalik ng binata.
"It is when you know that it is still gonna die in the end." At saka muling bumaling sa dalaga si Nate. "You want to badly help it, right? Then end its misery. Finish it so it can be free from pain anymore."
"What?!" Si Finn. "Stop feeding her mind to do such an awful act-"
"Awful?" Ulit ng lalaki. "The world is an awful place to live and that thing is suffering because humans are cruel. We are all cruel and we are crueler than the people who shot it if we continue to let it suffer in pain." At pagkatapos ay yumuko ito at inilapit ang mukha sa ibon. "Do you still think you can save its life? Look at it and tell me it can survive." Hamon nito na tumayo na nang maayos at parehong hinarap sina Brandt at Lux.
"You're fucking insane!" Bulalas ni Finn na naiiling pa. "I'm going to get a clean towel and we'll drive it to any nearby clinic. Maybe Cornejo knows someone who can help us." At hinawakan pa sa balikat si Saph. "We'll save it, don't worry." Anito at tumakbo na pabalik sa mansyon upang kumuha ng tuwalya.
"What's going on in your head, Xury?" Tanong ni Nate nang sila na lamang dalawa ang naroon. "What you're thinking is right. There is nothing wrong with that." Anito na para bang alam na alam ang iniisip ng dalaga. "You just want to help it, you just don't want to see it in pain." At dumikit pa sa tabi niya. "Do it. It's the best thing you can do for that poor bird." Sabay dukot sa bulsa nito ng isang maliit na balisong at iniabot sa kanya.
Lux shifted her gaze from the bird to the small knife that Nate is handing her. She accepted it and opened it to release the sharp blade. She stared at it for a couple of minutes before staring back again at the bird who is clearly having a slow and painful death. It is slowly dying and it is suffering unbearable pain. It is looking back at her, it's as if begging her to help it stop the agonizing pain.
Parang ibinalik siyang muli sa isla kung saan sila unang tinuruan ng pagpatay sa hayop. She remembered the bunny, her first innocent kill. Naalala niya kung paano sila inutusan ni Madame Pearl na itorture ang kawawang hayop. She remembered exactly what she did that day.
"I want to see how are you gonna torture them slowly until they ran out of breath." Utos sa kanila ni Madame Pearl.
Pinakatitigan ni Saph ang kunehong nasa harapan niya. Purong puti ang kulay nito na parang isang bulak, malambot at maamo. Ni hindi nagbago ang reaksyon niya nang marinig ang utos sa kanila. Wala siyang emosyon na kung titingnan ay parang wala siyang pakialam.
She may not remember if she had a pet before but somehow she knew that she never did have one because she can't feel any warmth or pity while looking at it. In short, she can do the task without a second thought.
Tiningnan niya isa-isa ang ibang mga batang kagaya niya na nahihirapang magsimula. Alam niyang kailangan nilang sumunod dahil siguradong may kaparusahan na maghihintay sa sinomang susuway.
Bumaling siya sa gawi ni Diamond na hindi pa rin kumikilos at kay Ruby na patuloy sa pag-iyak habang yakap-yakap ang sariling alaga. Nang mapansin niya ang paglingon sa kanya ni Amethyst ay tinanguan niya ito na para sabihing magsimula na dahil umaandar ang oras. Kaya naman tiningnan din nito ang isa pang kapatid na si Emerald at saka tinanguan upang magsimula na rin.
She took a plastic bag to wrap the bunny's head. It keeps on wiggling because of suffocation and then she stopped, pulled its left foot, and twisted it. A sound of bone snapping can be heard and the poor animal shriek in pain. She then squeezed again the plastic bag to suffocate it once more while she keeps on breaking its limbs and that's how she was torturing it.
Nang marinig niya ang anunsyo ni Madame Pearl na si Diamond ang unang nakatapos ay nakaramdam siya ng kaunting inis. The instruction was clear that they need to torture their victims until they ran out of breath and her sister didn't follow it. Diamond killed it instantly by slitting its throat.
At dahil roon ay hindi na siya nagdalawang isip na balian na ng leeg ang kawawang hayop niya. She didn't even blink and she just stared at the lifeless being in front of her. Natapos na din halos lahat ng mga kapatid niya at pawang apektado ang bawat isa sa mga ginawa maliban sa kanya.
"I don't know if it's a good thing that I can't see any remorse in your eyes." Ani Jade na lumapit at bumulong nang palihim sa kanya. "You're the only one who seems to have no problem executing this task. It's as if, your emotion has diminished too soon."
"Maybe I was void of any emotion even before I came here on the island." Aniya. "Maybe this is who I am and that would be an advantage for me, right?"
"Maybe." Sagot nito na may lungkot sa mga mata. "But I hope that this action of yours was just a result of your fear of punishment. Because I'd still want you to be as humane as possible. I want for you to keep your humanity intact."
Saph is lost in her thoughts and questions herself if she is still human. Among all the other little girls, she was the only one who never shed a single tear after killing an innocent life. She justified her action that it was for her survival but deep inside her, she knows the truth. She's born to be what she truly is. A killer.
Napakurap-kurap siya matapos maalala ang nakaraan at muling tiningnan ang naghihingalong ibon sa harap niya. Whether Jade was right about her or not, the fact remains that she doesn't have a problem with spilling any being's blood. It is simply because she can't feel anything.
And right there and there, she took a deep breath before kneeling down and without the slightest hesitation, she plunges the knife into its neck- killing it instantly. And then she pulled the knife and stared at the stain of blood on her hands. Once again, she killed an innocent life.
But this time, she is convincing herself that she did that to save it. Her mind is telling her that it was the right thing to do and she wants to believe that. She needs to hear that she just freed the poor animal and it was okay.
"You did great." Nate said beside her. "I'm proud of you."
She thought she can feel good about it after hearing Nate's praises but Finnegan's reaction has made it worse.
"What the-?!" Bulalas nito nang makita ang nagawa niya. "What did you do, Lux?" Tanong nito habang nakatingin sa kanya na nakaluhod at may hawak na maliit na kutsilyong may bahid ng dugo. "Why did you kill it?"
"She freed it. She saved the bird." Salo ni Nate sa kanya.
"That's bullshit!" Naroon ang galit. "Killing didn't save it. You ended its life instead of giving it a chance to live."
"There was no chance for it to survive. It was badly hurt because it took a fatal shot." Pangangatwiran pa din ni Juggernaut. "She just did what she needs to do to end its misery. She helped the poor bird."
"Help? How fucking help was that? We aren't different from those scumbags who shot it!" Marahas na umiling at saka masamang bumaling sa kay Nate. "You did this!" Sabay duro sa lalaki. "You poisoned her mind. You pushed her to-"
"You still don't know her, do you?" Nate is mocking Finn. "No one can push her to do anything if she doesn't want it. She has her own mind and no one's controlling her, not anymore." And glanced at Saph. "She's free to do what she wants and whatever she desires. It's her decision, not mine."
Sumasang-ayon si Lux. Tama naman si Nate dahil wala nang kumokontrol sa kanya. Hindi na siya hawak ng dating organisasyon na nag-uutos sa kanya noon ng kung anu-anong mga bagay na talaga namang susukat sa kanyang pagiging tao.
She's growing conscience now and she must admit that she felt bad about what she did but it was the only way to save the bird by ending its suffering. She did the right thing.
"Nate was right." Sa wakas ay nagsalita na din si Lux at saka tumayo na. "I decided to kill it. It's the only thing I can do to help stop the pain."
"But that wasn't right. We could've saved it. Cornejo said that there's a small clinic in the north that is a few kilometers away from here. We could've tried-"
"It won't survive." Putol niya. "It's on the brink of death and it is only suffering a slow, agonizing pain." At saka nilingon na ang lalaki upang magtama ang kanilang mga mata. "It may be wrong for you but for me, I did what I could and I'm not regretting it."
"Lux-" tawag nito ngunit inunahan na niya.
"Maybe you're right. I am not different from those cruel fuckers. Maybe I am eviler than them because I was the one who took its life." Walang emosyon ang mababanaag sa mukha niya. "Everyone has a darkness inside them. It's the nature of our world. I say that being humane is an illusion, a game of pretend. What is real is the fact that we are still animals, driven by our primal instincts." At muling nilingon ang napatay na ibon sa lupa. "And in the right situation, we are all capable of the most terrible crimes."
Kinuha ni Saph mula sa kamay ni Finn ang hawak nitong puting tuwalya at doon niya ipinunas ang kutsilyo at ang kamay niyang may bahid ng dugo bago iyon inabot pabalik kay Nate.
"I'm going to start my training." Paalam niya at dire-direchong nagtungo na papunta sa training room.
She didn't even look back to see Finn's reaction, once is enough for her to know that she disgusts him. He clearly didn't like what she did and would never understand her reasons.
No one would ever dare to understand her. No one would even dare to understand how a killer's mind works. No one can relate to her because she's a soulless monster. And no one will ever believe that she actually cares because no human can execute those inhumane acts but the devil itself.