Shrugging his bag over his shoulders, Ash had pushed the door open, stepping out into the crisp fall air. He was so sick of this; sick and tired of thinking about her constantly, sick of caving to every whim of hers. He had to stop. This had to end. No more kissing her, touching her, thinking about her. He would finish his final lesson, and let her go for good. He didn't need this level of distraction in his life.
As he stepped into his dorm building, he saw Gary opening the door to their room, about to leave, but he called him out. "Yo, Ashy-boy! You hungry? Brock and I were thinking about grabbing some dinner."
Ash opened her mouth and closed it. He shook his head. pushing passed Gary to head into their room. "I'm good."
"What? You missing out on free food? Impossible. It's on me." Gary was none the wiser to any of that, though, mostly searching for answers to look for as he spoke. "Hell, we even got Paul to hang with us."
"Good for you." Ash sighed, but couldn't look any less frustrated. "I'll figure out dinner later."
"Alright," Gary sigh paralleled his friend's, stepping back into the room. He would do the exact opposite of what Ash wanted him to do. His frown dimmed, but he quickly pulled it out again. His rascal, impish persona was nowhere to be seen anymore, and there weren't any jokes when he spoke up. "What the hell is wrong with you, man? Did something happen between you and Serena?"
Quite literally, yes, too much for them, but he sure didn't want to talk about it. He scoffed, flopping on his bed. "Nothing happened. Just go to dinner."
Gary's voice was molded along with a grin Ash refused to see. "C'mon, man. Don't be like that. I know you have a crush on her—"
"I don't," he snapped, cutting Gary off. He pushed himself up to glare at his roommate.
"I'm calling bullshit," Gary aired out, groaning with humor beginning to climb up the ladder. "I know you and her kissed on Friday night."
Oh, it more than that. At least almost.
"What?" Ash stood up, staring down his roommate. "How do you know about that?" At the same time, he realized he just confirmed his roommate's accusation, not that there was any reason to hide it at this point.
"Misty," Gary huffed lightly, unconcerned. His answer didn't bother him, and he sounded more fascinated than anything when he went on. "Serena mentioned it to Dawn and May. Misty heard it from them, and then she went and told me."
Ash's teeth gritted together. It's like they were playing telephone. His answer was toneless, and Gary tried to read through it. "Yeah, I caught onto that."
"You'd never tell me about it," Gary retorted.
Ash narrowed his eyes, grumbling. "Not like you asked."
"I did ask. When you got home that night, I seem to recall saying something like 'Yo, Ashy-boy, where did you and Serena go?' and someone told me off." Gary inhaled slowly before looking at him with the smuggest look on his face, one that was gonna get wiped off by Ash's fist if he wasn't careful. "Next thing I know, you rolled over and went to sleep, but you seemed all flustered and frustrated. I only assumed something happened between you two and Misty confirmed it."
"So what if we kissed?" His disbelieving nonchalant shrug didn't go anywhere as he continued. "It didn't mean anything for us. We got caught up in the moment."
"That's what they all say. Did Serena tell you that? Are you speaking for her or yourself?" When Ash didn't respond, Gary pushed the issue. "That leaves the question; what are you guys?"
"What do you mean 'what are we'?" Ash's eyebrows cocked down, and he answered as if it was obvious. "She's my dance teacher for this punishment of mine. That's it. We have one more lesson and then I... won't have to see her again."
Such an answer. Too revealing, too easy, and yet he knew it was the truth in the way he didn't want it to be—that most of what propelled Gary to do the things he did more often than not had plainly simple explanations. That, for him, the smallest kindling could fuel the brightest pyre. He should never have hesitated. Gary was too goddamn perceptive not to notice the way he spoke.
The brown haired boy sighed, scratching through his spikey roots. "It's okay if you like Serena. Why does it bother you? I've mentioned it before-"
"I said I don't."
Gary's eyes were locked on him, but his calm whisper didn't sound concerned—it was another accusation on the tip of his tongue. Ash blinked, hating how he was right about what would be thrown at him. "The both of you kissed again, didn't you?"
Why did it matter if they kissed again? He wasn't going to kiss her for a third time, or fourth, or fifth? Shit, he lost count.
"Your point is?" He was unable to muster up the strength to raise him voice on the matter anymore. Gary was going to keep asking and Serena was going to keep being on his mind, and all of it was infuriating. He couldn't handle it anymore.
"I just don't understand why you won't just ask this girl out. It's beyond me. You clearly like her. It's okay to have a girlfriend. It's okay to want her—want her to be that," Gary said like a stamp of approval, but his forest green eyes were darker, large, alert, and a small furrow knitted his eyebrows together. "I don't get what's blocking you. Are you afraid? Do you think you're not enough for her? What's up, man?"
"I don't know—I'm not used to this. It doesn't matter what I think or feel." Ash took a deep breath and the edge in his voice was gone when he simply stated, "we have one lesson left. Serena has her own things to deal with and I've got mine. I can get back to playing ball."
"I know that," Gary replied and Ash didn't like how he said it like there was more lingering. Gary sat on his own bed across from Ash, running his hand through his brown spikes again. "But you can play basketball and have girlfriend. Paul—our closed out guy who isolates himself—of all people is doing it. With one of Serena's best friends, at that. Dawn, I believe was her name. They got closer after the dance. You already know Kiawe is too. His girlfriend, Mallow, goes to another school, though. Still, why can't you?"
"It's a distraction," Ash answered, too fast, and his own voice pulled his mind back. "I've been away long enough. She's got certain friends she hangs out with and I don't need to have any part of that. Hell, I didn't have a good start with that top dance partner duo."
His own words left a bitter taste in his mouth.
"Then, start over. From zero. You're a cool person, man. Stubborn as hell, but a lion heart full of gold. I've known you for years—since we were babies." Gary sighed and repositioned himself more comfortably over his bed, the expression on his face as expected to be. Peaceful and lazy with a faraway hint of smugness. "I know me, who has had one night stands, shouldn't talk, but if that's how you really feel, don't kiss her and more. A girl like her doesn't deserve that. Don't lead her on, even if it isn't intentional."
Confused, stunned, afraid, removed. He knows that.
"She's magnetic. I can't pull myself away from her." Ash's attempt to sound disinterested is weak even to himself, but he opens his wounds. "Yes, I kissed her, but then she went out to dinner with her friends. She didn't seem bothered."
Gary was staring at him with a smirk as he nods his head sagely. He tilts it, giving him a look that shows understanding. "So you're pissed she ditched you?"
"She didn't ditch me," Ash hurries to explain, sounding slightly more exasperated than he probably intended. "She invited me to go with them, but I left."
"Are you proud of that," is all the response Gary is able to produce, an amusing question. "You're impossible. Be honest with yourself."
Ash opens his mouth to spit some snarky retort at him, but snaps his mouth back shut. Suddenly, he's not quite sure what to say. He was disappointed in himself for not trying. He always tried. This time he ran away instead of charging head on. It was like being in a car and driving off a cliff, but he wasn't the one behind the wheel. He knew, whatever he was feeling, it was frightening.
But a challenge, yes. One he wanted to be able to face when the time was right.
"The reason I didn't want to go was because me and that Drew guy aren't so much on good terms." Ash shut his eyes, exhaling softly. "I felt like things could erupt fast. He's bold—Says stuff that pisses me off."
"They're all cool people. I'm sure Clemont would've been there. You'd survive by being with him and Serena," Gary teased, laughing a little. "But hey, I'm just saying, if you don't wanna be with Serena, don't get all intimate with her."
Ash grabbed his pillow and chucked it at Gary's face. "I get it. You don't have to tell me twice. Now head to dinner already before you miss out."
"I think I do, Ashy-boy, but will do." Gary exhaled patiently, his olive green colored eyes calm and reassuring. "You sure you don't wanna come?"
Ash ignored his comment prior to that and flopped back, turning his face towards the wall. He covered his head with his other pillow, his voice vibrating through. "Positive."
"Gotcha." Gary sighed, opening the door to leave Ash to his thoughts.
There was a small part of him that regretted not going. At least he wouldn't fall into a hole of his own frustration, but talking about it was even worse. He stared at the white wall, remembering how she felt in his arms, her—
Fuck, no.
He had to stop. They had to stop. It was ending after their last lesson and it would be over for good. Wanting her more was only going to cause him a great amount of problems he didn't wish to take on.
In the studio, the honey blonde girl was grabbing her bag as she locked up the studio. God, Ash was confusing.
Serena's stomach was still churning from the kiss, her mind reeling. She was so ready for him to have all of her against the piano. She cursed her mind for stopping her. Her body was still aching for his touch. Her cheeks brightened the more she thought about it. Why did she feel this way for him? Had she fallen for him? Was that the correct way to phrase it?
It was stupid and she felt so foolish for expecting something different to happen. But it was Ash. He would act the way he did. The string that was now between her forefinger and middle started to blur. Her face was covered in utter shame, heart feeling heavy in her chest, and she could barely breathe out the words as they came out hysterically.
It was a mistake.
She sighed and zipped up her jacket, heading towards the dining hall. She would have dinner with her friends which hopefully would take her mind off of it.
As she walked into it, finding her friend's usual table in the back corner. May and Drew sat on one side, snuggling up to one another, while Dawn and Clemont stayed on the other. Seeing her friends made her feel such relief. There was no tension, no bickering, just comforting times ahead of her.
The stress of dealing with Ash was finally starting to weigh on her. Her lip trembled as she placed her bag down. "Hey. I'm not late, am I?"
May smiled, but eyed her suspiciously. "No, not at all."
"Serena!" Dawn's face lit up, but fell as her blue eyes washed over the facial expression Serena had. "You're... Are you okay?"
She bit her lip and nodded. "I'm fine."
"Serena?" Clemont voiced to get her attention. Serena turned her head towards him, noticing that certain pointed look in his baby blue eyes behind his glasses that read her like a book. "Did Ash do something?"
She stiffened at the sound of his name. Her eyes slowly strayed down as she started to play with the ends of her hair, ignoring the curious gazes in front of her. She shook her head, her voice trembling. "No, of course not. Seriously. I'm fine."
Dawn immediately pushed herself out of the booth and took Serena's wrist, softly speaking. "Come on. Time for us to have that girl talk."
"Dawn? What are you—" She stumbled out of the booth to be forced to follow after the girl, May joining in not far behind. The boys stared in confusion, watching the three of them leave.
Dawn pulled Serena towards the girl's bathroom as May checked to see if any of the stalls were taken. When it was confirmed the three of were alone, Dawn breathed in. "I know this is pretty silly to ask you in a bathroom, but girl, you looked like you were about to lose it in there."
"You sounded off on the phone earlier as well," May added. She exhaled patiently, her chocolate colored eyes calm and reassuring. "What happened, Serena?"
She already knew what was to come if she told them; Dawn would most likely have a field day and May would reprimand her in some orderly fashion. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her hesitation made them straighten, eyes never leaving her ocean ones that were sure to flow south. Her lip trembled, her tears pooling at the edge.
"I'm just thinking too much, is all."
Dawn gave her a tight-lipped, uplifting smile. "You can talk to us."
She was out of it, she could hear the soft pattering of her friend's heart in her ear, the calming sigh she took, that made Serena exhale a shaky breath. "It's Ash."
"Pray tell how I knew it was him," May immediately said, rolling her eyes at how she was terribly correct. She was a volcano ready to explode at any minute. She looked back at Serena, reluctantly. "What did he do?"
"We... kissed." She allowed a few tears fall just that once and tried to quickly wipe it say, wishing it could've been the same for her issues. "Again."
May sucked in a breath, eyeing her hesitantly. A small, worried look was printed on her face. "He didn't hurt you, right?"
"Goodness, no. He would never do that," Serena explained without a pause. "I know he seems like an intense guy, but he wouldn't do anything I didn't want. He stopped when I told him to."
"That's good," May said softly, relief on her featured, but soon turned confusion that crossed her eyes. "What happened between you two then?"
"He was pretty upset I wouldn't teach him something besides the waltz, so I just taught him the tango." Serena looked ahead, lost in her thoughts, and repressed her tears. "We got close, and he was unexpectedly... kissing me and touching me against the piano, and we—"
She blushed, stopping for a moment when she thought about it. She already missed the way he kissed her. So aggressive, yet passionate and caring. It was addicting, far more addicting than she ever expected it would be. He was more gentle with her than she anticipated too.
Dawn gasped, the details becoming more and more fascinating as time went. She took Serena by the shoulders to look at each other face to face. "You had sex in the studio? On the piano? Zero shame? Wow, Serena. I didn't know you had it in you to that extent."
"For gods sake, Dawn, no!" Serena swallowed, shaking the thoughts from her head. Dawn had pouted, her humor levels dropping drastically after she wiped a fake tear. "We stopped because we couldn't just... go further in the dance studio."
May had already elbowed Dawn in her side at the absurd accusation, which she hissed at painfully. May cleared her throat, her cheeks burning red a bit. "Right. Of course."
"When you called, I invited him to come to dinner with us, but he rejected the offer, talking about how he didn't want to be around Drew."
May's shoulders fell in complete befuddlement and slight exasperation. She scoffed, clicking her tongue. "So he was his typical self?"
"Basically?" Serena hated that she was becoming emotional, but the emotions she felt ate away at her for the longest. "The more I thought about it, the more stupid I felt."
Both women looked at her in pity, and Serena hated the looks so much she had to turn from them, but they rustled to her side and held her close, not letting her get away.
"You're not stupid, Serena." May's expression softened once she had stepped forward, pulling her friend into a hug. "He's stupid for leading you on like that."
"I don't... necessarily think he's leading me on," She could feel the small sympathetic smile on May's face and Serena tried to smile as well, but it came out broken. Clearing her throat, she went on. "I think what we feel is mutual. Maybe he's just as confused as I am. I kept thinking about for his last lesson, I could ask him if he wanted to partner with me—actually start teaching him. But it's clear he would reject both."
Two very different reactions from notably different women. May looked hopeful, but there were telling questions in her eyes, wondering if things would go well for her friend. She was always concerned for Serena and if her opening the curtain of her gaze to show her expression wasn't a give away, then she doesn't know what is. Dawn, on the other hand, looked happy and excited for her, which was the norm. Serena finally deciding to the possibility of having a partner and taking the next step to her love life? It was too surprising to be real.
May pulled away to look at Serena. "He genuinely isn't a horrible dancer. When he puts actual effort in, it seems natural. At least for the basics."
"That is true," Serena agreed with small smile.
"Maybe you could spend time with him in other ways, even if he doesn't want to dance?" May suggested. It was good option. "What do you think about him?"
She took a moment to think, the day they first met and her impression. He wasn't a bad guy, it was that he was so difficult and confusing, but even so, she was intrigued. She was still intrigued by him. He always had this presence, but he also seemed to have so much baggage every time they met after their first encounter. Still, it was her intrigue that made her need to stay away—stay away from getting as intimate as they have lately.
Be careful with him.
He was loud and impulsive, and completely stubborn, but could be endearing all the same. Whenever he was honest to her—about her, it locked into her heart like she was meant to keep it safe and sound, remembered. He had those copper brown eyes, the determination she had always seen on her mother anytime she was on the track. His gaze sharp like his grin, and the messiest, black hair. He was made of extremes and he was created to be extraordinary.
"He's... nothing I've ever encountered before."
Dawn exclaimed bubbly, "if me and Paul can work out, you two can too."
She had been dating the grumpy guy on the basketball team with Ash, Paul, once they got closer after the dance. Serena noticed Dawn had been busier lately, hanging out with him as the days went by. It was surprising, but based on glimpses of them together, with each other's presence, Dawn seemed to smile more bright as Paul smiled a bit more than usual. Even starting as two people getting to know each other little by little, their relationship escalated quickly.
Serena never had an idea to play off what occurs between her and Ash. She bit her bottom lip unconsciously at the thought of them dating, weary eyes looking to her friends.
"The thought is amusing, just like the possibility he was starting to enjoy dancing with me," she said, her cheeks flushing with a light laugh. "Do I like him? When he kisses me, something in my heart... races. When we look at each other, it seems like a flame going away slowly, but the feeling of heat lingers. He says these sweet words and does these sweet gestures at times. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I believe he doesn't understand how he feels or how to express it."
All difficult words to describe a very difficult man and she had this need to figure him out. They were the same; they weren't honest with each other, they were lost, it was all new. They were both two lonely people who had this weird, desirous, and undeniable connection. They couldn't deny the part that wished for each other.
What was wrong with that? Everything was wrong with that. But Serena couldn't help the direction her heart wanted to pull her in.
"Maybe you need to be honest with him then," May suggested, zero signs of judgement in her voice. "Drew and I took so much longer to be with each other because neither of us spoke up about our feelings right away. During your last lesson, you should tell Ash how you feel. Tell him you'd like for him to be your partner."
Would hitting him with honesty be what it takes? She could explain how much it would mean to her if he stayed and became her partner. It would require a lot more work, but whenever he got fired up about something, he always exceeded the expectations.
"Okay," Serena breathed out, finally swallowing the knot that formed in her throat and before she could reply. "I'll see where it goes."
Her friends were important to her. They were there for her in her toughest time and had comforted her through thoughtless moments. They were her family.
"Take your time," May considered, a hand on her hip.
"I'm ready to be the cool, lovable Aunt," Dawn let out an impatient breath, but winked at Serena. She paused for second. "Or is it too early to say?"
May elbowed her again, her and Serena both yelling in sync, "too soon!"
Dawn pouted, disappointment filling her eyes as Serena smiled before expressing her appreciation. "Thank you... for pulling me aside. Being like this in front of everyone wouldn't have been pleasant."
"Drew and Clemont wouldn't have minded. We want you to be happy, Serena. You're so used to giving. It's your turn to be on the receiving end," May said, gently touching her shoulder, brown eyes warm and comforting. "We already could tell you were trying to hold back."
"It's just— I don't want people to worry about me, especially about something like this." Serena sighed, her brow creased in thought. "I didn't want a partner to begin with. If Ash doesn't want to give it a chance like I do, that's fine with me."
"Who knows?" Dawn added in, smirking at her knowingly. "Clemont might have good advice. He has known him for a while."
Biting the corner of her lip to keep her happy grin from spreading, Serena nodded her head. "I'll take that into consideration."
"Smart idea," May let out a chuckle. "Now we should probably get out of here. I'm sure you're starving and we don't need those boys thinking something extreme happened to us because we haven't went back."
Dawn giggled, loud and proud. "I can imagine Clemont panicking, calling every emergency line possible, and Drew trying to keep it together, but just as panicky as him."
As if on cue, Serena felt her stomach rumble, and she laughed awkwardly. "Coincidence much?"
The three girls left the bathroom to rejoin their friends, and though Serena still felt anxiety bubbling in the pit of her stomach, she did feel a little better knowing her friends were there to support her. The day was just around the corner and more than anything, she still contemplated if she should go through with what she had planned.