i'm waiting for you guys to realize "Nabi" means butterfly in korean, which is why i chose that name
— Chapter 38 —
"Felix?" Jisung enters the room slowly. "Are you doing okay?"
Felix, who has been in his room for the thirty hours, doesn't move a muscle. He stays in his laying position, covered in the blankets that have swallowed him whole. He has come out of his room, or even eaten, since yesterday morning— when they fought.
Jisung sighs, coming over and sitting on the bed. He puts a hand on Felix's back, and caress the area lightly. "You have to eat something." He says, but gets no answer. "Please?"
"I don't feel good." Felix whispers.
Jisung raises his head to look at him, and a light smile starts to spread across his face. That's the most life he has got out of the male in a while, so it makes him feel better.
"Can you at least drink some water?" Jisung asks. "Or maybe a smoothie?"
At the mention of a smoothie, Felix inhaled a shaky breath— before he starts to cry again. Jisung panics, scooting close to Felix and holding his hand. The younger male starts to sit up, revealing his tired face with tears.
"Oh Felix." Jisung says, as the younger just looks at him. Jisung raises a hand to cup Felix's face. "It's okay, please don't cry."
"It's not." Felix denies, shaking his head. He sniffles. "It's all my fault, I ruined everything." He starts to sob, clutching onto the hand Jisung held him with. "I ruined it all."
"You didn't ruin it." Jisung denies. He has absolutely no clue what even happened, but he wants to try and support the younger in any way he can— and that's starts with just trying to reassure him. "It's not your fault."
"It is." Felix says. "Stop saying it isn't. You don't even know what happened I— I.. I accused him of being a murdered! I ruined everything, I lost him.. I lost her." He sobs, then looks at Jisung. "Stop lying to me."
"You accused him of being a murderer?" Jisung asks, so confused. "Why? Did he.. what did he do to make you think he was the murderer?" He asks. He's at a point where he just wants to know what's making Felix feel down.
"He was sneaking around, yesterday night." Felix says, inhaling a shaky breath like always after he stopped crying. "He came out of the kitchen really fast, and then he was looking around the front room. He looked so nervous.. I guess I just.. I guess I just let the case get to me."
Jisung freezes.
Fuck.
Did he cause this?
"When.." he clears his throat. "What time exactly did he..?"
"It was after midnight, I think." Felix says. "But fuck, I can't even believe I didn't trust him enough. You should have seen the look on his face after I ... he looked so. Fuck." A tear rolls down his cheek.
Jisung isn't even paying attention to Felix and his tears, all he is thinking about is how his hookup in the kitchen is a cause of all this. Felix saw Hyunjin after Hyunjin saw him, doing something secret. He caused all this. Hyunjin even took to so far as to send Nabi away to her uncles house, and it's all because of Jisung.
"You were just doing your job." A voice says from the doorway.
Both Jisung and Felix look toward the door, where Chan is leaning against the frame. He has a sad smile on his face, considering he has had a crush on Felix for years— and now Felix is crying for another man.
"Don't feel so bad," Chan says. "You're a detective, it's your job to suspect these things. Maybe if you just explain that, he could possibly understand the sudden questioning."
"I told him he was a stranger and that I didn't trust him at all." Felix says flatly.
Chan cringes. "That might be a little bit harder to get past.. but I'm sure you got this. You guys really like each other, and maybe it was going too fast anyway— but even so, you guys have something that is hard to forget. Just talk to him, just try and talk."
"Why is this the best advice you've ever given to us?" Jisung asks. "I thought you were—"
"I do have a heart you know." Chan teases. "But anyway, dinner is ready." He looks to Felix. "Please just come and eat, I don't care if it's only one bite— just eat."
Jisung looks to Felix, giving him his best, supportive smile. Felix looks from Chan to Jisung, and finally sighs. "Okay, I'll go."
Jisung smiles wider. "Atta boy."
Felix softly smiles, his first time in a while, and Jisung's heart melts— along with Chan's. He chuckles. "I'll get your spot ready then." He says before he begins to walk away.
Jisung stands up as well, helping Felix up too. The two boys walk out of the room and down the stairs carefully. Felix's legs are a little numb, since he hasn't used them in so long, so they take a little longer than usual.
Felix stops at the bottom of the stairs, taking a deep breath. He has to prepare himself to see Hyunjin, which is going to hurt. Jisung takes his hand, knowing exactly what he is feeling. With the support of Jisung, Felix enters the dining room where half of everybody else is seated.
"Felix!" Seungmin announces, smiling.
Minho raises his head, also smiling. He motions to the empty spot next to him, where their is a plate and fork for Felix. Seungmin begins to fill in Felix on everything that has happened lately, like how Minho choked on his jerky earlier and Chan slipped on the ice. Just to make Felix feel better, and it works.
When everybody is seated, and comfortably again, Hyunjin comes walking into the room. Hyunjin freezes when he sees Felix, his heart beat quickening as they make eye contact. However, Hyunjin looks away immediately.
Hyunjin takes a seat, and Felix doesn't acknowledge him further. He doesn't know if it be good for him to talk to Hyunjin right now, and he doesn't know if Hyunjin would even let him.
Chan comes waking back into the room angrily. He took a phone call a few minutes ago, and he doesn't seem to be happy like he was before. He takes a seat at the table, an unhappy expression on his face.
"What was that about?" Seungmin asks, looking at him as he pours some champagne into his glass.
"Nothing." Chan says, a bit harsh. Everyone kinda falters at his behavior. "Give me that." He says, motioning to the bottle of champagne Seungmin is holding.
Seungmin scoffs. "A please would be nice." He says, but hands the bottle to Chan anyway.
"Yeah, you could be a little nicer." Minho says.
"You know," he puts the bottle back after pouring his it in his own glass. "I have bigger problems right now." He says.
"Why are you always such a dick?" Seungmin spits.
"Excuse me?" Chan asks.
"You know chan," Hyunjin stabs his meat with his fork, lifting it up and looking at Chan. "I have problems too, but I don't project them onto everybody else." He says, before he puts the meat into his mouth.
"Yeah?" Chan chuckles, looking up at him. "And what problems do you have? You're murder victims keep getting away?" He says.
"Enough!" Felix slams the table.
Hyunjin looks at Chan is disbelief, before he looks over to Felix. Their eyes meet, and Hyunjin just scoffs before he stands up and leaves the room. Seungmin watches him leave, and how Felix stands up– before he gets up and leaves the room himself.
Felix looks at Chan. "Fuck you." He says, before running off after Hyunjin, leaving only Jisung and Minho with Chan.
Felix goes running up the stairs, going to Hyunjin's room. He doesn't know exactly what he is going to say, but he knows he needs to talk with him— and the time to do so should be now.
He gets to the top of the stairs, and he sees Hyunjin going down the corridor. He runs up to him and grabs his arm, but Hyunjin just yanks it away from him.
"Hyunjin," Felix says. "Please just let me speak."
"Did you tell him?" Hyunjin turns around, looking at Felix with angry eyes. "Did you really tell him? That I was a murderer? Him?!" His voice gets louder, echoing throughout the hall.
Felix flinches. "I didn't— I didn't mean— he just.. overheard me talking about it." Felix shakes his head. "I didn't tell him, and he only overheard because I was telling Jisung how I fucked up." He says, but Hyunjin stays silent.
"Did you hear me?" Felix asks, his voice getting louder as well. "I said I fucked up. I fucked up, I was stupid, okay? I don't even know why I.." he trails off. "I don't know. Okay? I just want us to go back to normal." He says.
He looks at Hyunjin with teary eyes. "Hyunjin..?" He asks, still not getting an answer as Hyunjin just looks back at him with no emotion. "Did you hear me?" He asks... a tear flowing down his cheek. "I said I want us to go back to normal, I'm sorry."
He speaks with honest words, but he still gets absolutely no answer. A tear rolls down his cheek. "Say something for fuck sake!" He screams at him with his full chest, tears streaming down his face.
"Speak!" He sobs. "Just fucking talk to me!"
Hyunjin raises his head, looking at Felix. A single tear runs down his cheek, before he finally speaks.