“Tanjiro! Hey! Hey! Wake up! It's an emergency!”
Waking up in the middle of the night with Y/N on top of him wasn't exactly how Tanjiro expected to start his day.
Oh! Maybe he was dreaming!
It was what the boy thought, as he raised his hand and slapped his own face. “Wha! What are you doing?!”
Oh god. He wasn't dreaming.
He exasperatedly sat up, resting on his elbows while staring wide-eyed at Y/N.
“Y-you said it's an emergency? What is it?” He managed to blurt out, looking at everywhere in the room but her thanks to the embarrassment.
Without responding to his question, she raised her hand, pointing to the exact same spot on her forehead where Douma had previously kissed. “Here.”
“Here what?”
“I need you to kiss me here!” She suddenly approached his face until their noses were almost touching, pointing to the spot more aggressively.
“W-w-w-why?!” He jolted with her sudden action, his face getting as red as a tomato.
“A really, really, really, reaaaaallllly gross bug touched my forehead, I need someone else to kiss over it to cancel the grossness out.”
“.....what kind of logic is that…?” He sweat-dropped, it was so stupid that he even forgot about his shyness for a second.
“My other option is cutting my entire forehead off.” Y/N completed with a straight-face.
“Oh. I suppose that would be bad.” Tanjiro blankly responded, as she nodded twice with an earnest face.
The thing is, Y/N was going to ask Akaza to do so first, since it would be easier to explain to him the circustances without having to use “gross bug” as an alias for Douma, but the demon was still missing.
Talking about Akaza, it's really weird how he is still gone. Even though Daki explained what happened, Y/N still feels like something is wrong.
I mean, she's not sure what the difference in power between Douma and Akaza is, but he still is upper moon three, right? Was he really iced that easily?
Noticing that she was spacing-out, Y/N shook her head, once again staring determinately at Tanjiro. “So? Are you going to do it?”
Tanjiro thought that he was already used to Y/N's random actions, but it seems like he was not.
“I- Do I really need to?”
Y/N tilted her head. “I mean, you don't have to do it if you don't wanna, I will just ask Zenitsu-” she mumbled as she started to get up to leave.
“Ah! Wait!” He grabbed her wrist to stop her from leaving, realizing too late that he may have reacted too strongly when she tumbled back and fell back onto his lap.
“Whoa!” Y/N yelped. “Jeez, couldn't you be more delicate?”
“I'm really sorry! I just-”
He didn't have the courage to say out-loud that he panicked when he heard that she was going to ask Zenitsu.
Y/N is always talking about how she likes how kind Tanjiro is, so much that when he has negative emotions such as 'jealously' towards her, he feels ashamed to let it show.
He often wonders if she would still like him the same way if she knew how selfish he truly was inside.
“Tanjiro? Oh my, I'm going to get embarrassed if you stare at me all serious like that!” She completed this statement with a nervous laugh, slightly wondering if maybe she angered him.
“I just need to kiss your forehead, right?” He said with a serious face, suddenly resting his hands on her shoulders.
“H-huh? Yeah, sure-!” She jolted, avoiding eye-contact with him and kind of regretting requesting that to the boy, she was feeling more shy than she thought, maybe it's because Tanjiro isn't acting all timid like she expected him to.
He slowly approached her face, Y/N couldn't handle it and squeezed her eyes shut, slightly shuddering from the shyness.
When she felt his lips gently touch her forehead, it was like the bad sensation lingering on her skin completely disappeared instantly.
“So? Are you feeling better now?” Tanjiro gently asked as Y/N opened her eyes, coming face-to-face with his affectionate smile.
Still feeling confused, she slowly blinked twice before reaching out to touch the spot he kissed, her blank expression turning into a bright smile in a matter of seconds. “Wow! Amazing Tanjiro! It's completely gone now!”
“I'm still not sure about what you mean, but I'm glad to help, I guess-”
“Wow! Wow! I should ask you to do this more often!”
“Whatever makes you happy, I suppose.”
“I wonder how it works-” She mumbled. “Oh, maybe it's because you're so sweet!”
“I-Is that so?”
“Yep.” She nodded. “Just looking at you makes me feel better in an instant!”
He felt his cheeks heat-up for a second, before shaking his head. Now is not the time to get embarrassed.
Y/N is really frenetic, she's always busy with something and is running around all the time, to the point he barely has chances to speak with her like this.
So, unaware of the truth, Tanjiro felt quite grateful to the 'bug' Y/N talked about.
But…. what should he say?
“Tanjiro? Hellooo? Are you still here?” She waved her hand in front of his face.
“Oh!” He snapped out of his daze. “Y-yeah, I was just wondering about something…"
“Really? If you're having trouble with something, I can help you!”
'The trouble is you, though.' He thought, staring blankly at Y/N's triumphant expression.
Recently, Tanjiro came up with a sudden realization.
He knows very little about Y/N.
Why was she at that forest where he found her, where was her family, even something as simple like what was her favorite color is, he knew almost nothing.
When Y/N had a meltdown some months ago when he pressured her to talk (he still deeply regrets that) he became cautious about asking her about more personal things, but now he realized that he actually barely took the time to get to know her.
He gulped, even though he was feeling nervous, he still decided to tell her about these feelings. “Y/N, we are close, right?”
“Huh? Of course, super close!” She smiled happily.
“It's just… I really don't know anything about you, so it… doesn't feel like we are.”
Y/N tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"I mean.. uh- Why were you at that forest? Do you have any family?
"Oh."
"Y-you don't need to talk if you don't want! I- I just-"
She stared at his panic for a second, and then gave him a soft smile. “You're right. I guess I never really told you about myself, right?”
Tanjiro was shocked, he didn't expect it would be so easy.
"But, do you really want to know about my family, Tanjiro? Uh- being honest, I'm afraid about how you're going to see me after I tell you."
His eyes widened, wasn't that the same thing he was fearing about some minutes ago?
With a serious face, he said : "If you're willing to tell me Y/N, then I would like to hear about it."
"...okay then." She smiled and nodded, only for then look down and comment with a blank smile : “Though, I think it's a bit hard to have this type of conversation in such a position.”
Only then Tanjiro noticed that she was still sitting on his lap, his face exploding in red. “S-sorry(?)”
“Pff, why are you apologizing? I'm the one who should be doing that, since I was the one who climbed on top of you and all-”
“Ah, it's okay, I'm actually grateful for that.” He responded with a straight-face.
“Okay?” She sweat-dropped, getting up and finally leaving the awkward position they were all this time.
She was going to have to leave a lot out, but she figured it would have no harm in letting him know at least a bit about her and her past, as bad as it was. I mean, he's been helping her for so long! If he really wanted to know it that much, than she would do an effort. She just hoped his perspective of her wouldn't change much after this.
She cleaned her throat. “Uh- so, you want to know better about me, right?”
He nodded.
“It might be a bit of a boring story, really.” She said, awkwardly laughing and scratching her cheek.
“It's okay. I would never think it's boring if it's coming from you.”
“How flattering.” Y/N giggled. “Okay… uh… due to some….circumstances....with my parents, I was adopted by an aunt…"
.
.
.
“Don't cry ú̸͉̘̉n̵̛͕̯̑̊͘a̸̯̻͖̮̐̽́̌̕m̶̗͂̾͗̋d̵̠̟͊͊̈́̇̽... don't cry…" The hand of a small girl patted the back of a little boy, who kept crying.
The boy in question had tripped and scratched his knee. “Y/N- i-it really hurts-”
“I know, but it's going to get better, okay?” She smiled at him.
“Sweetie? Sweetie!” An adult voice appeared. One that made Y/N freeze and all of her hairs stand-up from the panic.
“What did you do to him?!" The adult woman ran over to them, pushing her away and gently embracing her son in a soothing hug.
Y/N hissed from pain as she sat up from the rocky ground, staring emotionlessly at the loving mother and son duo. 'It's going to get better. It definitely is.'
Her cousin was almost always sick, he was already born with a weak body.
Normally, when he got fevers and had to stay bedridden, she would hold his hand and emotionlessly repeat 'it's going to get better' like a mantra. After a while, she realized that maybe she was saying that to herself the whole time.
One day, he wasn't getting better like always. She started to feel worried, so much that she decided to go downstairs to talk to her aunt, even though she feared her the most in the world.
“Aunt. ú̸͉̘̉n̵̛͕̯̑̊͘a̸̯̻͖̮̐̽́̌̕m̶̗͂̾͗̋d̵̠̟͊͊̈́̇̽ fever is getting higher. I think we should take him to a doctor.” She mumbled, looking down at her legs while trembling.
Thankfully, her aunt was way too worried about her kid to abuse her this time. She ran upstairs as quickly as she could, and after a while, she finally came downstairs carrying his limp body in her arms, leaving the house and closing the front door with a loud thud.
'It's going to… get better…' She stared at the door.
Later that night, a big thunderstorm fell. Her aunt finally came back home, drenched head to toe thanks to the rain.
“…where's ú̸͉̘̉n̵̛͕̯̑̊͘a̸̯̻͖̮̐̽́̌̕m̶̗͂̾͗̋d̵̠̟͊͊̈́̇̽?” Y/N asked, noticing she was empty-handed.
Her aunt approached her with a frown, raising her hand like she was going to slap her.
Y/N reflexively squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for an impact that never came. “Huh?” When she opened her eyes to stare confusedly at the adult, the woman broke down into tears.
She fell to her knees, covering her face with her hands while sobbing uncontrollably.
“…” The little kid went upstairs with a blank expression, coming back with a blanket and using it to gently cover the woman's drenched body.
“There… there…” she patted her head. “It's all going to be all right…”
'I didn't know… that grown people can cry like this too…' Y/N blankly stared down at her.
“You're just like her… I hate you for that…" She heard her aunt mumble. “This kindness…. Is going to kill you one day… just like it killed her…"
'Oh. She's talking about mother.' Y/N tilted her head.
What was the point of that? She couldn't even remember her mother's face anymore. She was far too young when her parents died, so she had no attachment to them either.
The only parent that this child knew was the crying woman in front of her.
When her aunt finally got enough strength to get up, she weakly went upstairs and locked herself in her room.
She didn't talk to Y/N until her cousin's funeral.
It's not like she talked to her, it was more like she was… glaring at her the whole time. It was a look of pure-hate, the type you would give to your worst enemy. Y/N couldn't understand why.
When they went back home, her aunt took a liking to drinking.
“Y-you-” Y/N gulped. “Y-you are going to get sick… i-it's better if you don't drink anymore…”
“WHOSE FAULT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!” She threw the empty bottle at the kid, thankfully, it missed and hit the wall beside her, exploding in millions of glass pieces.
“…it's… it's not my fault…” Y/N mumbled, looking down while the tears forming in her eyes hazed her vision.
“…not your fault? NOT YOUR FAULT?” Her aunt slammed the desk, making the kid jump and take a step back when she suddenly got up and approached her.
“If it's not your fault, then who it is?! You killed my son the way you killed your parents!” The woman grabbed her shoulders with an iron grip. “Everyone who's around you dies! Do you hear me?! You're cursed! you!…. It is all…. Your fault…"
Tears started to form at her eyes again, making her annoyedly let go of the kid. “I hate you so much…” she whispered, grabbing another bottle of sake and finally going upstairs.
'It's… going… to get…. better…' Y/N took a step back, yelping when she felt a sharp pain in her foot.
'Oh…. I stepped on a glass shard…' She stared at the shards stained with her blood on the floor with dead-eyes. 'It's going to get….
But... what is the point of this? What is the 'better' I keep waiting for?'
Y/N was far too scared to tell her aunt about it, so she spent a week limping around with a glass shard in her foot.
One day, when her aunt fell asleep on the table and she went to cover her with a blanket like always, she heard a weak whisper :
“I will… give you anything…. so please… bring my son back….”
She crouched to get a better look at her aunt tear-stained face. 'I wish you were an emotionless monster. I would be able to completely hate you then.'
On her mother's death anniversary, Y/N would always leave flowers in her grave. She hated that she was abandoned by her, but there was nobody else to put flowers in her grave.
And, in that fateful day, a man bloodied from head-to-toe was sitting on the ground, resting his back against a tree.
“What are you doing here?” Y/N was scared, but still asked.
For some reason, she couldn't distinguish his features, and she had never met someone who had such a powerful aura.
She felt small around him.
He slowly looked at the face of the kid.”I lost someone.”
“Who?” She tilted her head.
“It was someone significant to me.” He said in response.
“Here, I was going to give it to my mommy, but I hope it makes you feel better.” The kid innocently said, giving the bloodied man the random flower she was holding.
He looked down at the plant in his hands, before gently smiling and turning to the child. “Where's your mother?”
“She's not here anymore. Aunt didn't like my mom, so I have to visit her in secret.”
“I see. Do you want me to come with you? We can get more flowers for her in the way.”
“Really?”
The man nodded, he got up and offered his hand to the child, who smiled sweetly and took it without hesitation.
“But sir, why are you covered in blood? Are you hurt?”
“It's not my blood.”
“It's not?”
“No, but don't worry, I won't hurt you.”
“Oh no! I didn't think you were going to hurt me because I can tell when people are monsters.”
“You can?”
“Mhm! I know many monsters.”
“I see, it must be scary.”
“Yeah!” Y/N nodded. “but…. even so, I can't hate them.”
That was the start of a profound bond. She would often visit the same place, and when he was there, they would expend time together.
Nobody ever played with her like this, and he didn't get mad at her even when she made a mistake! Honestly, it was weird not having to be on edge all the time around an adult.
'I wonder how different my life would be if I were born his daughter instead…' She kept this silly, small dream a secret.
Until one day, in one of her aunt's common breakdowns, she wasn't able to dodge the bottle in time.
She was able to at least protect her face in time, but her arms and legs ended up covered in cuts and blood.
She wouldn't be able to meet with him in this condition. It was the obvious choice, but… that was the only happiness she had…
What if… what if he doesn't show up anymore because she didn't go?
Her anxiety took the best of her, so she went there once again, even though she looked like a mess.
Y/N… Y/N never saw him angry like that. He always had this gentle, full of secret smile in his face, so much that it was weird seeing another expression.
“Who did that to you?! What happened?!”
“…” Unable to respond, she only stared blankly at him.
“Y/N, you have to tell me.” His frown only got worse with her silence.“…why… are you smiling?”
“Because… It's the first time someone gets so worried about me like this… I don't think I have ever felt this happy before...”
While covered in cuts and feeling pain all over her body, this child said that this was the happiest moment in her life.
“That's it. You're coming with me, you can't stay with that person anymore.” He took her hand, trying to take her away.
“NO!” She started to trash around and trying to detach herself from his hand, it took him by surprise, even though she was such a little kid, it was the first time he saw her throw a tantrum like this.
“Why not?”
“If I go with you, you're going to die too!" Y/N exclaimed. "I can't! I don't want to!"
He didn't let go of her hand, instead, he gently crouched to be at her eye-level. “It's okay, I'm not going to die.”
“You're lying!” She cried, shaking her head. “You're just trying to make me feel better!”
“I'm not.”
“ú̸͉̘̉n̵̛͕̯̑̊͘a̸̯̻͖̮̐̽́̌̕m̶̗͂̾͗̋d̵̠̟͊͊̈́̇̽ died because I was selfish!” She started crying even more. “If I had enough courage to ask for help sooner, he wouldn't have died! He died because I'm a coward!”
“You know that this isn't true.”
“It is!” She trashed around even more to escape his grasp.
“You know Y/N, though I don't look like it, I'm actually really strong.”
“You are…?” She finally stopped moving, staring at him while sniffing.
“Yes. So, even if you go with me, I won't ever die.”
“R…really? You promise?”
He nodded, smiling gently at her as he reached out to clean her tears. “So? Will come with me now?”
“....okay.” She weakly nodded. “But can I do something first?”
“Of course. I will wait for you here.”
The kid nodded before running back to her house.
But… What was she going to do? Say goodbye to her aunt? Would she… would she even miss her if she was gone…?
When she entered the house and looked around, what she saw was her aunt passed-out on the table again.
With a cold expression, she went upstairs and appeared with a blanket, covering the sleeping woman.
Y/N was always wondering about what she was going to say to her aunt when she left the house, but she couldn't think of anything now that the time has come.
“... I'm sorry. I won't take care of you anymore.” The kid muttered, turning around and leaving.
As she closed the door behind her, she stared down at her feet. Y/N also always thought about how she would feel when this moment happened.
Would she feel sad for being separated from the only parent she had? Or would she drown in happiness for finally being freed?
But… she felt nothing.
She walked over to the man patiently waiting, taking the hand he gently offered to her as they started to walk off.
“Oh! What is your name, sir? I never asked, right?” She smiled at him.
He smiled back at her in response.
“... Yoriichi.”