"Thank you so much for your help. I tried calling my friend but she said she was busy, so I totally panicked," I sighed exasperatedly, relaxing in relief when a few members of my style team showed up with a rack of clothes in tow.
This was my first public event, and I had to put out a good image. Unfortunately, my closet lacked the indigo variety, and considering that was the one theme for this release party, I had to pull through somehow.
Thankfully, my style team were class one life savers always ready to answer the call of fashion emergencies.
"You called the right people for the job, don't you even worry, Chae. We're going to have you sparkling in no time. Just sit back and relax," one of them singsonged.
In no time at all, they had transformed me into the model indigo human. With a short backless, indigo dress and matching open-toed pumps, the outfit was complete. They quickly got to work on my embellishments, adding the signature red lips and slightly curled hair. My eyes had been highlighted in a subtle indigo shade as well with just the right amount that it was obvious but not emo.
"Alright give the camera a big kiss and be on your way!"
They all held out their phones like paparazzi, taking many photos of me in various angles while I posed and smiled for my closeup.
Lucky for me, I had enough common sense to have them meet me at the company so that I didn't need to trek all the way after and be completely late. I was right on time for it to start and with my look complete, I was ready for my first public event.
I gave all of them a tight hug before rushing to the top floor of the company for the party. There was already a massive line of stars old and new waiting to get into the party.
Namjoon's connections clearly knew no bounds. People from all over the artistic industry were there from idols, to actors, to painters and woodworkers.
My place at this party did not seem significant yet here I was, at probably the hottest party of the year, with the hottest stars, who had no clue who I was.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself to find either Yeseul or Hoseok and just stick to them like glue.
"Hello there! Would you like to try our signature cocktail, an indigo daiquiri?" One of the staff asked.
"Oh! Yes, I would love to. Thank you so much," I said, taking the fancy glass from their hands.
The usual strawberry daiquiri had been dyed an indigo color with a blue strawberry on the rim of the glass.
Liquid confidence was always a good boost in being able to put myself out there. I had to use this as an opportunity to network and get to know people. By the end of the night, people would understand why I was given an invite and much as the next person.
I saw Namjoon in the distance making his rounds with all the guests. It was good that he was looking a lot more relaxed than when I saw him trying to prepare for this party. It was nice to see the hard work he and Hoseok had put into the decoration.
Speaking of which, it seemed my costar had yet to show up. Or if he was already here, he was hidden amongst the vast crowd. But I didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it because I suddenly heard my name being shrieked.
"CHAERIN! I have a surprise for you!"
I turned around to see Yeseul dancing over towards me, already look a tiny bit tipsy, with an even bigger surprise next to her. Shyly averting her gaze was Miss Misuk, securely tucked into the arm of Kim Yeseul.
"Misuk?!" I exclaimed.
"Nuh uh! She's my plus one tonight, therefore, I get to monopolize her time today," Yeseul interjected.
"Plus one? Misuk, why didn't you tell me?" I asked.
"She wanted it to be a surprise," she said softly.
"Duh! My favorite ladies and I are going to celebrate this night right! Come on, Chaerin! I have many people to introduce you to. We've got some work to do in getting your name out there," Yeseul beamed.
I gave Misuk a desperate look, but she could only laugh as the ever-radiant Yeseul dragged us both into the heart of the crowd.
｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡
"I worked with Chaerin not long ago! She really has a talent that I'm glad Jungkook can bring into the spotlight," Director Lee said, patting me on the back.
I smiled, "I don't think I could've ever received such a great opportunity without you, sir."
"Really? It's not often I find both Director Lee and Jeon Jungkook agreeing upon the talent of an actor. What did you say your name was again?"
"Moon Chaerin, ma'am. And I don't know if I already said it, but it truly is an honor to meet you Director Kim," I bowed again.
Kim Haeri. The legendary Korean feminist director of so many amazing movies and shows wanted my information. This party was going to be the end of me.
"It's nice to meet you, dear. I am quite impressed with what I've heard about you tonight. I'll have to do some digging on your past roles. I always like having a powerful female lead. Here's my card in case you ever need anything or have any questions," she said, handing me her business card.
"Thank you so much ma'am. And thank you Director Lee, it was so nice to see you again. Now I think I need to go find Yeseul and my friend," I said, quickly turning away to find my rascal friends who were up to no good.
I saw them dancing in the center of the crowd, so I managed to push my way through to get to them.
"Seventeen!" I yelled, causing the two of them to holler.
We had a game going the whole night to see how many business cards of directors, agents, and other actors I could get and every time I got another, we'd shout in the middle of wherever we were.
"Woo!" We all screamed.
It was definitely a successful night of self-promotion. I had met several of Yeseul's actor friends and befriended them as well as received kind words of advice. And of course, I'd met so many professional directors, producers, and agents that were all interested in my upcoming role and the mystery around my novelty.
It was a rush for sure, but I felt an immeasurable amount of pride for being able to put myself out there like that.
"Come on ladies, we need a photo to commemorate this great night!" Yeseul announced, holding out her phone so we could take a selfie.
We all smiled widely, taking several different crazy poses for Yeseul's phone camera.
"Okay, on that note, I think my social battery is about to hit the floor. I'm going to go hang out in a corner for a bit," I said. I glanced at Misuk who was shyly sticking to Yeseul. I grinned teasingly, "Can I assume you want to hang out with her a little longer?"
Misuk blushed, "N-no. Well I mean I'm not tired. S-so if she's not tired then, yeah."
Yeseul grinned, "Honey, it takes a lot to get me tired. Let's go. When this whole thing is over, the only thing anyone should remember is that you and I had the most fun."
"Don't kill her!" I called out as Yeseul pulled her away. I chuckled, "I think I might've made Misuk's celebrity crush a little more than celebrity."
I fought my way through the crowd of moshers, making my way towards the back wall of the room where the more quiet lot of people were sitting, eating, and chatting.
I managed to grab another indigo daiquiri before holing myself up on a ledge and watching everyone enjoying the party. This is what it was like. This was what my heroes got to experience daily. The excitement and rush from a new experience buzzed through my spine.
"Hmm...now this isn't where I thought I'd run into the star of The Boyfriend Application," a familiar deep voice teased.
I looked up to see Taehyung staring down at me with a curious gaze.
"Oh Taehyung! It's good to see you!" I said quickly, getting up and bowing before giving him a small hug.
"Woah! This isn't the Chaerin I'm used to," he chuckled.
"Liquid courage," I said, swirling my drink.
He nodded in understanding, giving me an appraising glance.
"So what are you doing on the sidelines?" He inquired.
"Oh believe me, I was in the middle of it all for a long time. But my social battery is about to hit zero. So I thought I'd sit back and people watch for a bit," I explained.
He nodded, "That's good. I respect someone who can take care of their own needs whenever they need to." He looked me up and down with a sultry gaze, "You look pretty all dressed up."
"Woah woah woah! Back up hyung! She's only for Hobi hyung!" Another voice, younger and sillier said.
I was horrifically surprised to see Jungkook running over with Jimin in tow, scolding Taehyung for making a pass at me. Even more surprised at the words that came out of his mouth.
Jungkook? This was Jeon Jungkook? The terrifying director who I had to make sure I impressed every day without him trying to kill mr in his head?
"Hi noona! It's good to see you!" He beamed, a big bunny smile playing on his lips.
Noona?!
"Hey Chaerin! How are you doing?" Jimin cheerily asked.
"I'm absolutely baffled. How many of these has he had?" I coughed.
Jimin chuckled, "Oh you're funny. That's such an Iseul thing to ask. He's not had anything he can't handle. I told you that we function really casually when we're not working. Especially that one. He's not as scary when he's not sitting in the director's chair. And he's way less of a headache to handle."
"I gotta say Taehyung hyung, I think Chaerin might be the most valuable actress I stumbled upon. She won the hearts of everyone in the audition room with her charm. I think this show just might be my biggest hit yet because of you. I think both you and this show are going to get put on the map," Jungkook complimented.
"Oh! Thank you so much, sir," I bowed.
"Stop being so formal!" He whined. "We're not filming right now. We're here to have fun. In fact, let's get a picture to celebrate. I don't know where Yeseul or Hobi hyung are, but oh well, their loss!"
Jungkook handed his phone to someone walking past us and asked them to take a picture. I can't even begin to explain how utterly confused I was by this whole situation, but I wrapped my arms over my two directors and gave my best smile.
"A toast, to our future star!" Jungkook cheered, clinking all of our glasses together.
The four of us hung out on the side chatting like we were old friends which was so bizarre. To speak to Jeon Jungkook, the director that took a chance on me, like he was a college friend was mortifying. Something I would undoubtedly regret in the morning.
I took one sip of my drink before metaphorically spitting it out everywhere at the hunk of marble that was sauntering over towards us. In tow with Yoongi was the most drop-dead gorgeous man ever, and an actor I idolized more than the world because he was an alumni to my school.
"Are you okay? You look like you saw a ghost," Taehyung asked.
"Is that Jin?!" I squealed.
He choked, "Uh...yeah. Are we sure that she's Hobi hyung's girl?"
I whirled around, giving him an exasperated look before turning back to my idol. For his larger than life personality he was known to have, he was rather quiet in the party scene, softly chatting away with Yoongi.
"Jin hyung! Yoongi hyung!" Jimin called out.
The two of them looked at us before smiling and heading our way.
Crap crap crap. Act cool, act cool.
I put a hand on the side of the wall and tried to pose coolly. It wasn't cool.
"I thought you liked Hobi hyung?" Jungkook remarked, snickering at my predicament.
"My dear friends, it has been too long. How have you all been?" Jin asked, hugging all of his friends.
"Chaerin, it's nice to see you," Yoongi said softly, eyeing me confusedly.
I quickly straightened up, offering a slight bow, "Hello, sir."
"Still?" He sighed.
"Oh? Who's this cutie?" Jin asked, making my heart burst.
"I think I'm going to faint."
"What?"
"Huh? Oh! Oh no, nothing! Sorry! My name is Moon Chaerin!" I bowed. "I'm-"
"Oh I know who you are! The boys have been talking about you nonstop. It's nice to finally meet you," he said, offering me a friendly handshake.
"You know me...wow. I think I'm in heaven," I breathed out.
He chuckled, "I'm known to have that effect on people." He smiled a bright and charming smile but his light demeanor was quickly replaced by a colder, more calculating gaze. He closed in on me, examining me up close. All personal space out the window, all I could do was burn under his gaze as he inspected me like a microorganism. Finally, he smiled again, "She's good for our Hobi."
Again? What is it with them?
"Speak of the devil...Hobi! Namjoon! Come here!" Jin called out to the two remaining members of their inner circle.
Hoseok was coming? It was weird. Considering how attached we were, I was sure I would've run into him sooner and been with him. But I hadn't seen him once. Not even a glimpse. It felt a little unsatisfying without his presence.
I caught a glimpse of him in his indigo suit jacket and I felt my breath catch. All the stars around me and he was the one shining brightest. Like a sun leading all the other stars. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't tear my gaze away. He had me hook, line, and sinker.
When his eyes met mine, he offered a slightly surprised smile, a shy blush brushing against his cheeks.
"Oh Chaerin, I'm so glad you could make it!" Namjoon smiled.
I forced my gaze to break, offering him an encouraging smile, "Of course, you invited me to such a wonderful event and you're the other half of this agency's operation. I had to come. It's such an honor to be invited."
I gave him a quick hug, my gaze falling back onto the unreadable Hoseok.
In the corner of my eye, I saw Jungkook lean over to Taehyung and Jin to whisper something which they both nodded to in agreement. Are they still on that topic?
We chatted for a little bit before it got cut short by Namjoon needing to go host the party and say his speech on his album release as well as give a special performance.
The other boys seemed to discreetly disperse until it was just Hoseok and me.
We didn't say anything for a long while, merely relishing in the other's company. For being able to banter so easily normally, the liquid courage and environment had forced me into a rut.
I cleared my throat, "You, uh, did a nice job with the setup. It's pretty."
"Huh? Oh, thanks. I just had to help Namjoon, he's not the most handy," he chuckled awkwardly.
Another silence.
To fill it was Namjoon's beautiful crafted speech as delicate as lyrics about the creative process and what each song meant to him in a series of elegantly designed words.
"You look really pretty. That color suits you," Hoseok said quickly.
"Oh! Thank you...I was kind of panicking. I had to get my style team together fast to pull it off," I chuckled nervously. God what am I doing? Any ounce of confidence I had seemed to have flown out the window without a trace. I tried to remember his words about focusing on him and I in the moment, but that seemed to be the cause of my anxiety this time.
Longer moments passed in silence while Namjoon began his performance and others cheered like it was a concert.
I tried hard to focus on the wonderfully crafted music, but him being in my periphery was enough to have my heart and brain racing to completely different thoughts.
I was worried and afraid. It was easy for actors to get caught up in the moment of their character. Being in close proximity with someone like that was bound to make anyone flutter a little. And it didn't help that he was like a mentor to me. His kindness plus his allure was a deadly combination that had me swimming on the edge of delusion.
The rush of my dreams coming true had me living in a completely different world than reality, and that's what scared me.
"Chaerin?" He called.
"Yes?" I answered immediately, unable to resist how he beckoned me.
"His set is pretty much done. I'm sure he's going to be swarmed by a lot of other celebs for a while. Do you want to come get some air with me?" He asked, offering a warm hand and inviting smile.
Taking this would be like willingly pulling myself to the point of no return, and yet I was so enticed to do so.
And so I placed my hand in his, and let him lead me away from the roaring crowd.
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"Alright, you're going to have to help me understand this. How was bringing me, someone with a fear of heights, to the open rooftop terrace a wise idea?" I joked, trying to avoid looking at the other tall buildings adjacent to us.
He chuckled, "Well at least that's a little better. I think the stuffiness made it hard for the two of us to act normal."
"Oh the method acting," I muttered under my breath.
I walked around, doing my best to avoid the edges where I could see just how high up we were. It was odd, but I found that looking up at the stars when I was up high was always more comforting. Even though they were even higher up, seeing them and not the ground made me feel at ease.
Although, compared to the mountain, the rush of anxiety I felt wasn't really there compared to the slight worry I felt just from the tension between Hoseok and I.
"You okay? You look like you're going to get a neck ache?" Hoseok joked.
I chuckled, "I'm good. Whenever I feel scared of the ground below me, I like to look up to the sky. That way, I never really know how high up I am. Only that there are higher places I could be."
Hoseok joined me in looking upward, the rhythm of his breath visible in the cold, night air. "That feels poetic. You fear heights because you fear the fall from the top. So you only look higher. You dream higher. You shoot for the stars and keep striving for even higher limits. It's admirable but unsurprising coming from you."
I laughed, "Well I'm not the one who made it poetic but that's certainly one way to look at it." Feeling a little more comfortable, I managed to look back down at him, staring at him head on. He met my gaze with an equally fierce one.
"Did you get to network a bit?" He asked, trying to diffuse the tension.
"I did. Yeseul dragged me around everywhere. I got seventeen business cards," I bragged.
"Well well, look at you Miss Moon. You'll be the object of everyone's attention soon enough."
He took my hands in his, brushing his thumbs over my knuckles. I glanced down before looking back at him with an unsure gaze.
"Anyone would be lucky to have you on their set. You'd blow them out of the water," he said, holding back from saying something more.
Maybe it was the second daiquiri or perhaps the confidence from this whole event. Or maybe it was just the simple fact that I was allowing myself to follow my heart blindly. But the next words out of my mouth surprised us both.
"I'm not sure I want to be the object of anyone else's attention. At least...not without guaranteeing I have yours endlessly," I said softly, embarrassed by my own feelings.
There was a long pause, the world seeming to lull to a stop.
"Hah...what am I going to do with you? I just...I don't think I can let anyone have you now."
And then he grabbed my waist, pulling me as close as remotely possible and landing directly on home base. His arms quickly encircled around my body, giving way to the friction and tension.
Colleague. Costar. Mentor.
Not now.
Right now, he was all mine. Logistics later. Indulgence right now.