Hindi namin namalayan na hapon na pala nang makabalik kami sa table namin. Sabagay tanghali na rin kasi kami nakarating dito, kaya parang ang bilis lang natapos ng araw. I guess we were all quite tired from the flight dahil konting tampisaw at laro lang ay kitang kita na ang pagka ubos ng energy ng lahat.
"Here." Napaangat ako ng tingin nang dumating si Ivan na may dala dalang juice at iniabot ito kay Demi. Nasa may tabing dagat kasi kaming mga girls, hanging out by the loungers while the boys were at the table we were having lunch at, having a conversation over some light drinks.
"Thanks," Demi mutters beside me, taking the drink without even glancing at Ivan. Sinundan ko ng tingin si Ivan habang pabalik ito sa grupo ng mga lalaking puro walang suot na tshirt. Kaya siguro natitiis kaming hindi puntahan ni Leo dito dahil busog na busog siya doon. Napadpad ang tingin ko kay Enzo who is also looking at my direction.
Nang magtama ang mga mata namin, he winks at me casually as he takes a sip from his drink. Biglang kumalabog ang dibdib ko, ang mukha ko nag-iinit. I bite the inside of the cheek, suppressing my smile as I look away.
"Kilig yarn?"
I let out a playful scoff at Demi's comment bago ko siya kinurot sa tagiliran. "Ano ba," I say shyly, sinking back into my seat.
"Sus, caught in the act. Gwapong gwapo sa jowa, eh," she snickers, sipping the juice Ivan brought her.
I turn fully to my side and face her. "Tapatin mo nga ako, ano ba talaga kayo ni Ivan?"
Demi turns to me with her brows furrowed. Si Ada napalapit na rin, trying to listen in.
"Wala," she trails, "wer---"
"Don't say you're just friends because you guys are clearly more than that," Ada counters, moving to my sun lounger and sitting by the edge beside me.
"I agree," I say, "you know, with all the kissing despite all the arguing."
Demi rolls her eyes, leaning back on her seat and crossing her arms over her chest.
"I can't really say," she says, shrugging her shoulders. "And bold of you to say that, Ada. You and my cousin have been eyeballing each other every chance that you get. May something na rin ba kayo?"
Ada clears her throat and mimics Demi, shrugging her shoulders. She stands and returns to her lounger. "I can't really say," she says in a singsong.
"What about you, Ces?" Ada turns to me.
"What about me?"
"How did you know Enzo was the one?" she asks, eyeing me. I couldn't help but swallow a lump in my throat, shifting in my seat. "I mean, sa dami dami ng nanligaw sa 'yo---"
"which you all rejected the second they breathed the same air as you," Demi chimes in the middle of Ada's sentence.
"Yeah that," Ada agrees, "what made you decide on him? Like, what made you take the risk? If you know what I mean."
Of course, I know what she means. Though not entirely similar, we have the same breed of parents, the only difference is that her parents actually care for her and mine cares for their own name. Everything was a risk---every single decision, every mistake, basically everything.
Kapag nalaman siguro ng mommy at daddy ko na may boyfriend ako, no matter how fake or whatever it is, they'd be fuming mad. Not because they think it's bad for me, but because it's bad for them. Iisipin nila na hindi na ako seryoso sa pag-aaral---they don't want an underachieved daughter, it's bad for their image.
I also ask myself the same thing on most days. What in the world made me take the risk? And with the rate I am going with him, it is one hell of a risk I am taking. Because maybe before him, I would have never had an answer as to why, because this is beyond my wildest dreams.
But during him?
He makes me feel like the whole world is mine. That's why I'm taking the risk.
And I'm falling in love with the thought of having the world.
Which makes me fear the fact of what it could be after him.
I shrug my shoulders as the others did. "I can't really say," I mutter, putting my sunglasses on.
There was a second of silence between us before we all erupt in light laughter.
Nagpatuloy kami sa usapan ng kung ano ano hanggang sa hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na pala ako.
Nagising lamang ako sa naramdaman na marahang paghawi ng buhok ko. When my eyes flutter open, the first thing I see is the image of a man in front of me, his deep hazel eyes boring into mine, the specs of green in it morphing into what seems to be the universe.
"Hey sleepy head," his voice flows like honey into my ears, deep and dark, rumbling into the very depths of my system.
Behind him is the sky dressed in hues of red and orange, the darkness running after it.
"What time is it?" tanong ko, sitting up, only to have him in a proximity that takes my breath away.
"It's almost 6," he says, pinning my hair behind my ear, "just after sunset."
"I missed the sunset?" I groan, letting gravity pull on my shoulders. "Sana ginising mo ako ng mas maaga," I mumble.
He chuckles deeply, a small smile on his lips.
"I'm sorry baby," he says, pressing a kiss on my forehead. "There's always tomorrow. We aren't going to run out of it."
"Hmm," I sigh, pouting.
Enzo only chuckles, running his hand over my head.
"Come on, dinner's almost ready," he says standing up, offering his hand to me.
Tinanggap ko ang kamay niya ang tumayo na rin, looking around. "Where are the others?"
"Already at the restaurant. Tayo nalang hinihintay nila."
I scoff at that. "Wow they left me here to sleep?"
Enzo smiles, "I was here with you the entire time, baby."
Napatitig ako sa kanya. Kung siguro hindi kami kakain ay hanggang anong oras kaya niya ako sasamahang matulog dito? I wonder how long he waited to wake me up?
"Let's go na para makakain ka na," he says as he drapes a shawl over my shoulders, the same one that was covered over me when I woke up. Napatingin ako sa tela, unfamiliar of the piece of clothing.
"Kanino to?"
"It's Ada's," he says, "I asked her for one. You got too much attention even when you were just sleeping." He gives me a look, raising a brow. "And it's going to get cold in a while."
Sabay kaming naglakad patungo sa kung saan ang mga kaibigan namin. For dinner, we were at an outdoor restaurant with our table situated right in front of the sea. Buti nalang talaga at pinadalhan ako ni Enzo nitong shawl dahil totoong napakalamig talaga ng simoy ng hangin.
Overall the dinner was fantastic. Tapos nakakaaliw pa dahil may mga nagpeperform ng fire dancing sa harap namin pagkatapos kumain, and the live music that seemed to serenade the entire island was so inviting.
"I heard the bar here is phenomenal," Demi mutters as we walk from the restaurant. Nakalingkis ang mga braso naming tatlo with Leo walking alongside us. The boys were walking behind us as well.
"Of course, where Demi is, nightlife follows," Leo snickers, shaking his head.
"You still want to head out?" tanong ko sa kaibigan.
"Why not? The night is still so young, and so am I!" Demi twirls, hands against her hips as she winks at us. Napatawa nalang ako, shaking my head.
"Hey, you be careful ha? Wala tayong kilala dito," Ada, reminds her firmly, which Demi only sticks her tongue out at.
"Please," she says, "I'll be fine. Plus!" she unlinks her arm from mine and jumps on Leo, linking her arms around his neck. "I have my love to keep me safe."
I laugh and shake my head, hugging myself as the cool night breeze blows against my body.
I shiver more when I felt a strong arm snake around my waist.
"Walk with me?" Enzo's deep voice overpowers the sound of the waves, his hand gliding from my waist down to take my hand in his.
Ito palagi ang nangyayari. Parang konting bulong at titig niya lang sa akin and the whole world around us dissipates. He can lure me in with just his voice and gentle touches. I hate to admit it, but his effect on me is so grand that I just end up deafening out the rest of what's around me.
Tumango ako at hinayaan siyang igiya ako papalayo sa mga kasama.
The waves played a harmonious tune in my head, hitting the shore like gentle drums and breezy percussions. The wind, cool as ever, leaves a trail of kisses on my skin, sending shivers from the inside out of every layer. And the hand encapsulating mine, strong and yet gentle, assures me of security with the warmth that radiates from it.
"Are you cold?" Enzo asks me.
I shake my head. "No, I'm good. This is perfect."
In synchrony, we pause the trail we've been following. HInarap ko ang dagat at napapikit, taking a deep breath. It hasn't felt this good to breathe in a while, and it feels like the epitome of the freedom I always craved and never had.
"Are you happy?"
I turn to him and smile, pursing my lips as I nod my head. "Very," I say with a breath.
He responds with a hum, eyes bored on mine as he caresses the side of my face. "That's good."
With a deep breath, hinarap niya ang dagat, crossing his arms over his chest. I find myself just staring at him. Mataas ang buwan sa langit, its light reflecting against his skin, somehow making him glow.
I couldn't stop comparing him to the sea. Calm on the surface, sometimes thrashing and raging, but generally gentle. And beneath all of that is depth, depth where the light reaches and depth where darkness thrives.
He is an enigma. One that terrifies me, one that intrigues me.
"Walk by the beach, check," he mutters, glancing at me with a coy grin.
Matagal ko bago mapagtanto ang ibig niyang sabihin. And then when I do, I find myself smiling. My bucket list sa likod ng resibo ng boxers nya. Dala niya ba iyong hanggang dito?
"You seriously brought that list here?"
He snickers, shaking his head.
"Of course not, baka mawala pa," he chuckles, turning to me. "I've got it all in my head. Pierced ears, check. Roadtrips, a hundred checks. Walk by the beach, check. What is there left to do, hmm? D---"
Hindi ko na siya pinatapos. I let go of every bit of my inhibitions and reach out for him, grabbing the back of his nape and pressing a kiss on his lips.
It was quick and brief, just until my rationality comes rolling back in. When I pull back his eyes are on mine, and my heart is hammering against my chest, so loud that I think he's hearing it too.
Bumaba ang tingin niya mula sa mga mata ko pababa sa mga labi ko. And when he leans in, I close my eyes, and just like what I anticipated, he gives me a mindblowing kiss, always better than the last kiss he gave me.
Parang kakompetensiya niya palagi ang sarili niya pagdating sa paghalik. His kisses are always better than the last one he gives, always setting up a standard for himself to beat.
Nakalingkis na ang mga braso ko sa leeg niya, his own arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me in closer until we're impossibly close.
When he pulls back we both gasp, both trying to reach for air. He presses his forehead against mine, the tip of our noses brushing.
"Did you write something about swimming under the moonlight on that list?" he whispers.
"Hmm? I think, I'm not sure, maybe I did." I didn't. But now it is.
"Okay then," he says, pressing a chaste kiss on the tip of my nose before he lets go of me and walks to the sea, taking his shirt off in the process.
I feel like my jaw just dropped as I watch him strip his pants off, leaving him with his short swimming trunks. He glances back at me with a coy grin before he makes his way into the water.
When he dives in, submerging himself, I let out a breath and clear my throat. This might just be the most risque thing I'll be doing in my entire life, but for some reason, I am thriving in the adrenaline that it is giving me.
I take off the shawl and step out of my white culottes, leaving them in a pile on the ground. I shiver at the blow of the cold wind, my stomach trembling as I'm left in my white stringed bikini.
"Shit," I mutter. Ang lamig ng tubig. Parang nagtayuan lahat ng balahibo ko. "Enzo ang lamig!" I squeal, nanginginig, yakap yakap ang sarili.
I hear him chuckle, and before I know it he is lifting me up and rushing me into the water. I couldn't stop the high-pitched squeals that rolls out of my tongue and out of my mouth, my laughter smoothly intertwining with his.
I wrap my arms around his neck tighter as we splash into the water, throwing my head back as our laughter rumbles in unison.
"Damn it, it's freaking cold," he says through his chuckle, and I laugh, nodding my head.
I cup his face with my hands and just stare at him as he does at me, getting lost in each other's eyes. Droplets of water stream down his face, adding to the glow on his moonlit skin. I couldn't help but run my hand through his hair, pinning them to the back of his head.
He has such striking features. Kahit anong anggulo ay napakagwapo niya pa ring tignan. And he's as beautiful inside as he is outside.
When he leans in, I meet him in the middle, and once again our lips tango in unified synchrony.
Mahigpit ang hawak niya sa akin, arms tightly wrapped around my waist as my legs are around his own. My fingers make their way through his wet hair, scratching on his scalp, tugging on the strands of his hair.
My chest hurt from the lack of oxygen, but it also felt warm with this air of certain tranquility flowing through it. I could never understand how being with him bring this concoction of thrill and peace all at the same time.
That's what he is---a holy blend of danger and serenity that the universe brought in to send my world in equal shambles and tranquility.
He's like a trench I keep falling into without a certain end.
When he pulls back, we stare at each other, and I couldn't help but smile at him.
"Your laughter might just be the most beautiful thing I've heard, Tal," he says.
Hindi ako makapagsalita, stunned at how his words can immediately send bolts of electricity coursing through me, powering the rapid beating of my heart.
Bago pa ako makapagsalit ay sumabog ang tawa mula sa making mga labi ng bigla niya along kilitiin sabay ang paglangoy papalayo. Hinabol ko siya, nagtatawanan sa dis oras ng gabi, as ilalim ng buwan.
I splash water on him, and he laughs. When he pulls my legs from underneath, I holler out a playful squeal. And when he gathers me back in his arms, we become quiet, our laughter getting masked by the gentle exchange of soulful conversations through our lips.
Yakap yakap ko ang sarili habang naglalakad kami sa hallway patungo sa kwarto namin ng mga girls. Enzo is following me, basa ang buhok.
"Thanks for tonight," I tell him as we reach the door. He only smiles and nods his head, running his hand over my head.
Papasok na sana ako ng kumunot ang noo sa pag pihit ko sa door knob. It's locked.
"Ada? Demi?" Kumakatok ako pero walang sumasagot. Nasaan kaya ang dalawa?
"Nobody's here," sambit ko. "Gosh, I don't have a key."
Enzo comes closer and tries to turn the doorknob, but it really is locked. He knocks a few times, but no answer.
"Stay in my room," he tells me.
Napatingin ako sa kanya. I try to weigh my options. Hindi ko rin naman sigurado kung kailan babalik ang mga kasama ko, and I'm soaking wet. Ginaw na ginaw na ako, at medyo inaantok na rin. Maybe I can ask him to call the boys and ask where the girls are. Ang phone ko kasi ay nasa dala dalang bag ni Ada. Ipinalagay ko kasi yon doon dahil nasa table namin ang bag ko, nakalimutan ko nang kunin muli.
I nod my head and let him lead the way.
He lent me a shirt to change into. I realize how big he really is when I wore his shirt. His usual white shirt looks like a dress on me, running down to the middle of my thighs. Buti nalang at may dala akong extra bikini sa dala dalang bag, kaya may pamalit akong panloob.
When I got out of the bathroom, nakabihis na rin si Enzo at nakaupo na sa kama, may tinitipa sa cellphone.
"They're not picking up," he tells me as I walk into the room.
"Hmm, I wonder where they could be," I say, making my way to the other end of the bed. As soon as I crawl in, Enzo scoots closer to me and automatically pulls me in closer until I'm morphed against his body, feeling his warmth.
"I'm pretty sure they're in good hands," he says, caressing the top of my head as I lean against his chest.
Ngayong komportable na ako ay unit unti ko ng nararamdaman ang pagod sa byahe at mga ginawa ngayong araw. Bumibigat na ang mga talukap ng mata ko, lalo na't para akong pinapatulog ng mga haplos ni Enzo.
"You know something I don't do you?" sambit ko sa mahinang boses.
I feel his chest vibrate as he chuckles, tuluyan na akong pinapatulog.
Dahil madalas kong ginagawa ay sanay na sanay ng gumising ng maaga ang katawan ko. Nang magising ako kay amoy agad ng kape ang bumungad sa akin.
"Good morning," Enzo says breathily as he turns to me, two cups of coffee in his hands.
I sit up and look at him in awe as he sets the mugs on the floor. The curtains are already open, displaying the dark sky meeting the dark sea beyond the glass doors. I can't help but smile.
"Kitchen's still closed so they couldn't lend me their french press machine," he says, reaching out for me.
Hinayaan ko siyang hilahin ako mula sa kama. He sits on the floor and pulls me with him. Uupo na sana ako sa tabi niya nang hilahin niya ako paupo sa harap niya. I lean my back on his chest, his large strong legs securing me.
I let out a slow breath as I let myself bury the back of my head against the crook of his neck kasabay ng pagsandal niya ng ulo sa akin. His arms hold me close, spreading warmth that blankets my soul.
Tahimik naming pinagmasdan ang pag-iiba ng kulay ng langit habang pinapanganak nito ng araw. At kasabay ng pagbungad ng umaga ay ang pagbungad rin ng kabuoan ng aking mga nararamdaman.
It's a moment that anchors my soul, tethering it to a plane of reality. It is sweet and warm, nothing like I've ever felt before. And yet it is also bitter, knowing that none of it is really mine in reality.
My thoughts are arguing in my head as I make my way to our room. I needed to change anyway, at ayaw kong may maisip sina Ada at Demi na kung bakit hindi ako sa kwarto natulog. Kaya lang, lock pa rin ang pintuan ng sinubukan ko itong buksan. Wala ring sumasagot sa mga katok ko.
"Ada? Demi?" patuloy kong katok. "Wake up, let me in."
"Ces?" Napalingon ako ng tawagin, at agad na nanlaki ang mga mata ko ng makita si Demi sa kabilang side ng hallway, dahan dahang naglalakad papalapit.
It isn't the weary expression on her face or the calculative steps that catch my attention, it is the massively huge shirt she is wearing. Ganyan na ganyan din ang itsura ko kagabi habang suot suot ang t-shirt ni Enzo. At hindi ko na kailangan itanong kung kanino ang t-shirt dahil obvious na sa print na "UP Med" sa harap.
Nang nanlaki ang mga mata ni Demi nang may nakita sa likod ko ay lumingon ako, only to find Ada slowly walking towards us from the other end of the hall, an equally surprised look on her face. Nakatali ang buhok nito, with a familiar jacket draped over her shoulders.
I pinball my two friends, turning my head from left and right, nanliit ang mga mata.
Looks like everybody had an eventful night.
I clear my throat, shifting my weight on one foot to the other. "Sino may keycard?"
"I have it," pagmamadali ni Ada. When she unlocks the door, we are already huddled together. When I turn the doorknob, I pause for a second. "Are we going to talk about it?" I ask.
"No," sabay na sagot ng dalawa. I let out a breath and nod my head. "Sounds good," I say, sabay pagbukas ng pintuan.
*************