The atmosphere went silence again. Yahwi was silently touching his phone after he brings to the nearest convenience store and next thing I knew, he already brought me an ice cream.
"Uh, thank you for this," I said and he nodded. "What are you doing?" I asked because I'm curious kung sino yung tinetext niya.
"My girlfriend."
"Ah," my heart tightened so I couldn't say anything. I eat my ice cream again. So... I thought this whole thing was because he still see me, the way he see me before. I guess, I jumped in conclusion because... Maybe this was just a closure nalang. For me nalang siguro because he seemed... Fine now. Good for him and bad for me.
"I brought that ice cream para ma cheer up ka but it seems like you gotten more sad."
It's because of what you said. Maybe this was the last time we could see each other again.
"It's just because," I said with a long face. This day was really against to me. I hate it.
He chuckled and wipe the ice cream on then side of my lips.
"I was just joking, Maiana," he said. "You're still messy eater."
"You're joking about the sad thing or the cheer up thing?"
"No, princess. About the girlfriend thing."
"Ah."
"I texted my mom to tell her that I'm with you right now," sabi ni Yahwi. "Yole missed you a lot."
I laughed. "Is it really her or is it just you?"
He bit his lower lip and leaned in on the table. "What if I told you both?"
A smile instantly escape from my sadness earlier and I rolled my eyes.
"Apology accepted."
"What?"
"Your email. I read it, just so you know that you're forgiven."
Napasandala ko sa kinauupan ko at umiwas ng tingin niya. "I think a simple apology via email wasn't enough from all shits I've done. I literally ruined your life."
"No. I ruined your life—"
"You don't have to blame yourself so you could lessen a bit guilt for myself," I look at him. "If only I wasn't an obsessed with academic validation. We still could have been friends, right? E 'di sana hindi ka na nagalit sa 'kin at umalis ng isang taon."
"I didn't leave because I was mad of you. I'll never be mad at you, I'll never be mad at someone I like."
"I know—" I paused when his words process on my mind. He was staring at me.
"As a friend," he added after a long silence.
Napayuko ako at napatango ng tahimik. Huh, as a friend. Tumayo ako at kinuha ang mga gamit ko.
"Where are you going?" Tanong niya.
"Uuwi. Thanks for the ice cream," I said and left him there. You shouldn't feel anything, Maiana. It's just him and his words.
I guess... This is really good bye.
***
"Hey, not in a mood?"
I nodded. "But I'm fine, mom. Just thinking about something," I said and make a space for my mom so she could sit beside me and she did. "How's your vacation with your friends?"
She smiles. "It was good."
"That's good."
"Gab..."
"Hmm?"
"Is there something going on?"
I shook my head. "No, everything is cool."
She sigh and rested her head on my shoulder. "I'm your mother, Gab. I know you have limit on yourself but can you share it with me so your feelings could lessen there?"
Napapikit ako at napabugtong-hininga.
"It's okay," she added and caresses my other shoulder.
"This guy," I fidget my finger. "He's back... In a chess game which was week ago. I... I don't know. With him, I still could feel secured. He made me feel okay. He knows what to do when I'm sad and I hate to admit that I'm feeling comfortable with him and I still miss him," I said. "Should I confess already? It's starting to get complicated. I don't think he's healthy for me anymore."
"Wag mo ipagmadali yung pag-ibig. Kaya tayo nasasaktan, e. Basta basta nalang tayo pumapasok kasi pag-ibig yun diba? "
"Hindi naman na gusto ko na umamin para makasama siya," sabi ko. "It's for my peace of mind."
"What do you mean?"
"Nakakainis siya," napahilamos ako ng mukha dahil sa frustration. "He always giving me mixed signals. Him and his words, no change. He still love to play with my feelings. I wanna know if ano ba talaga ako sa kaniya? Kaibigan lang ba or ano kasi nakakainis na. Ayaw ko ng ganito."
"Kasi pag-ibig yun. It cost damages, happiness, and sorrowful day and night."
"Whatever, mom," I cross my arms. "Still, no one deserves to have this kind of treatment. Kung hindi man lang nila gusto yung isang tao, why still giving them mixed signals? It's frustrating, you know."
She was about to say something when suddenly the front door open. Dad stopped when he saw mom and I.
My mom stood up. "Martin, you're home. Are you tired? Should I ask Manang Wenda to cook something for you?"
He paused for a minute before he opened his mouth to speak. "I'm good, Grace. How about you? Did you eat already?"
My eyes widened with my dad sudden changed behavior. Wow, does he have disease or something that cause him to be kind suddenly to my mom?
"I'm good. Kakatapos ko lang kumain ng snacks with Gab," my mom smiles.
My dad nodded and look at me for a seconds before he walked into his study room. When he disappeared on our sight, napaupo si mommy sa tabi ko ulit.
"So, where are we?"
"Don't you find it weird, mom?"
"The what, sweetie?"
Napasandal ako sa sandalan ng sofa. "Daddy's suddenly kindness?"
She laugh. "Sweetie, he's been like that since we fought year ago. Maybe you just didn't noticed it because you're starting to hate your dad," she sighed. "But I understand, no judgment, Gab."
I bit my lower lip. "He's trying?"
Mom nodded. "Yes, sweetie," she smiles. "Not only for me, but also for you, for us," she gently touch my cheek.
"I don't see it."
"Because of your anger you forgot to open your eyes," she said. "Again, no judgement. All I'm saying was don't let your emotions take over this," she pointed my head, "and this," and my heart.
"And also think of the consequences before you speak or act," we said together kaya napatawa kami.
"You really know me," my mom said.
I chuckled. "That's your advice since then. Don't worry, it's all in my mind."
We talked about something else after that. She was smiling widely while she was talking about her vacation with her friends.
I was studying (as usual) when my phone vibrates. At first, I didn't bother to answer it because I'm too lazy to answer it and I'm not in a mood to entertain other people right now. But it keeps ringing to the point that I get annoyed kaya sinagot ko nalang.
["Hello? Narinig mo na ba yung balita?"]
I checked the caller id and it was Gwin. She's not chismosa like Raign so why would she asked that kind of question?
"What do you mean?" I stood up from my swivel chair and rested half of my body besides the window to look at the view.
["About the chess game..."] She paused. ["The winner got disqualified. Yahwi gathered some information and proof that she actually cheats during the game. So it means..."]
"I'm back in the game. Me and Yahwi... Would be partner."
["Yes."]