chapter fifty!
GAUCHE
STRANGELY THESE DAYS, there's been a different atmosphere around Mina. Yachi doesn't think that in a bad way; her friend is still the same kind and caring person who holds such a charming smile. In fact, it's a little hard for others to notice but the blonde girl feels as if she's grown to be more serious. Sometimes, she's drowned in her own thoughts with brows furrowed. Other times, after the volleyball club's practice, Yachi would still find the girl in the guitar club's room as she busily strums away the instrument. Mina hums, plays the guitar, pauses and then jots down on her notebook—the cycle repeats.
It's been this way for a few days.
As far as Yachi figured, the guitar club was just a way to pass time— yet, the look on her friend's face told that this was more than just that.
"You've been really busy these days, Mina-chan."
Sheer stillness fills the quaint room, the faint sounds of the fan whirring from the ceiling mingles with the quiet creaks of the chair-frame. In a certain guitar clubroom where natural light filled up the room, Yachi could be found sitting right in front of Mina as she takes a good look around the room. It is tiny, a little messy but it has heard its fill of the students shared musicality and their harmonies. Her eyes glanced around before it stops before the brunette who was busily organizing files of paper.
"Is there a competition happening soon?" There's a little bit of hope in Yachi's eyes, perhaps wanting to see their club's performance.
Mina's hands slows down and she pauses, a small smile growing on her face before she shakes her head. "No, not right now. I am actually writing a song."
Her words caused the blonde girl to gape in surprise. "Y-You're writing a song?!"
"Mhm," A little chuckle slips past her as she hums. "Tobio-kun's birthday is soon, so I want to give him something nice."
The thought of it has caused Yachi's heart to warm and she's close to tearing up. How romantic was that! It was such a beautiful gesture, creative and filled with sincerity that she couldn't hide her expressions. No wonder her friend had been so busy these days— she was focused on creating the perfect song for Kageyama! Oh, how Yachi felt like she was inside a romance novel. It's so swoon-worthy that even she's affected by it. Perhaps, ten years from now as she imagines, this song would be dedicated in her friend's wedding ceremony and she would be the person to know the backstory behind this.
And perhaps, she could be the aunt telling Mina's children about all this!
"...toka-chan? Hitoka-chan?"
The blonde girl snaps out of her daze, completely consumed by her overly imaginative thoughts again. A smile blooms from the girl's face and she clasps her hands together.
"I'm rooting for you, Mina-chan! I believe that Kageyama-kun will surely love it!" Yachi's full of fervent energy, nodding as if she firmly believes it. "I don't really know how I can help you, but if you need anything, I'll try my best!"
"Ah, um..." A little taken aback, Mina recomposes herself with a little laugh. "Then... can Hitoka-chan read my lyrics? I wrote in Korean first and translate to Japanese, but maybe it doesn't sound right. Would you...?"
When Mina receives an enthusiastic nod, she reaches for her bag and pulls out a folder from it. There, she opens it up and takes a sheet before she hands it off to the blonde girl. Upon the action, Yachi carefully takes it from her and examines it. Scribbled on the top of the paper was the temporary title of the song— For Him.
It's silent in the room once more and Mina fiddles with her hands. She shouldn't be so nervous when it's simply someone reading her written lyrics, but even with the continuous coaxing in her mind, her heart doesn't stop racing. Mina feels vulnerable. Her thoughts are exposed through that single sheet of paper, and it feels like a single break of expression on her friend's face could make or break her easily.
How silly, a small smile lifts the corner of the girl's lips up. It's like handing in your homework and letting your teacher check it.
The brunette didn't know if she conveyed her thoughts properly through the translation, but once she looks up to examine the blonde girl's countenance, it seems like there had been an answer already.
Yachi's eyes slowly become a little glassy and she puts the paper down for a moment, wiping away the tears before it could roll down. Despite the little mistakes here and there, it was heartfelt and warm and barely impeded the thoughts she wanted to express. It felt as if she was reading a piece of poem— those beautiful excerpts you would read about romance that makes you think, I would want that too.
If she had been this good at writing, the blonde girl could only imagine the songs she could write in the future.
"Aigoo, why are you crying, Hitoka-chan...!" A frantic Mina reaches for the box of tissues before she hands a piece over to her friend. "Was it really bad?"
"N-No, it's not that!" Yachi shakes her head, a little embarrassed as she wipes her snot away. "I think the lyrics were absolutely beautiful! Um, maybe some minor errors but this was so... so touching! Mina-chan definitely has talent for writing songs!"
Despite being taken aback by the reaction and her conclusion, relief takes over the brunette and she breaths out an airy laugh.
"Even if Hitoka-chan didn't hear the song yet?"
"I believe it sounds amazing!" Yachi's tone is firm and it comes off silly with her flushed cheeks and reddened nose. "I'm going to give it everything I got to make this perfect too, Mina-chan!"
TAKE DEEP BREATHS.
... thank you for your time and consideration. Mina's finger hovers over the touchpad as hesitation, insecurities and frayed nerves prevent her from moving forward. After a long night of conversations and encouragements from her parents, she's allowed herself to step out of her comfort zone and took a leap of faith— auditioning for an entertainment company back home in Seoul. Oh, it wasn't an easy choice. Out of all of the options, why couldn't she choose to do something in Japan instead? Her parents might've questioned the same thing.
But for Mina, this wasn't just some company. This was Toy Entertainment, the home of her most favoured artists. Standing Egg, Heo Jinah, Simon Kim, Na Seunghwan— and many more whose music she absolutely revered. The mere thought of being in the same space as them, and if the heavens were kind enough, possibly writing or singing a song for them was enough of an accomplishment in life for her.
"I get that your favourite artists are in that company, but why can't you just... aim for the big three companies? You know, those guys make bigger bucks compared to Toy."
On the other end of the video call, her sister was busily attending to her nails. Mina could only shake her head at the comment. Of course her sister would say that, her interests lie on choosing the best of the best.
"For your information, I'm not applying to be an idol," Mina sighs as she leans back on her seat, still staring at the email she's been deferring to send. "And it's not about the money, okay? It's just... I really like them and if I wanna do music, then I wanna do it with them— it doesn't matter if they're a small company or not."
There's grit and determination on Mina's face that even surprised Minji. All their years together, it wasn't often that she would see that kind of expression on her twin sister's face. Mina was the type to be passive in comparison to her who immediately knows what she hates and likes. So when Minji sees that she's actually interested for once, and that this was borne out of her own will, she backs down with a small smirk, clearly pleased.
"Fine, fine. I'm just letting you know that you're missing out on being in the same company as DG and all those hot idols."
Minji softly blows on her fingernails.
"Which is the least of my worries."
"Well, that's true... you do have bigger concerns than them," Minji pauses for a moment. "And you've told your boyfriend your future plans, right?"
The question causes Mina to go rigid.
Throughout these past few days of bouncing back and forth between school, working on improving her music, and talking to Kageyama on the phone, she couldn't find it in herself to tell him. She's been trying to avoid this whole topic in fear for its damage. Mina knows this could distract Kageyama right now and that's the last thing she wants to do.
Perhaps she's a coward, but how could she break such news to him without affecting him? Kageyama had a tender heart despite his callous facade. How could she repeat the hurt and abandonment his old teammates had inflicted to him in the past?
"Oh... uh, n-not yet but I'm planning to!" With a forced smile, Mina awkwardly laughs which causes a frown to grow on her sister's features.
"Mina..."
A thousand thoughts were running in Mina's mind right now. The exhaustion, fear and pressure swallows her whole and she finally caves in to the emotion—she crumbles. The smile slowly fades away and tears start welling up in the girl's eyes. She purses her lips, frustrated that she doesn't know what answer could give everyone a happy ending.
"I want to, I really, really do but... the timing isn't right," Despite mustering all her strength to sound alright, Mina's voice wavers and cracks at the end as she wipes the tears. "He's working so hard and I-I don't want to ruin such an important time for him."
Volleyball meant the whole world to Kageyama, she knows that. He's talented, he works hard for it and he's been through a lot to get to where he is now—she knows that. So how could she? How could she dare to throw him off balance right now at such an important moment?
And how could she break his heart like that?
"It's a tough position, having to choose like this," There's an unusual tenderness in Minji's tone when she speaks. "You're worried about what could happen; but don't let this stop you from chasing what you want too, Mina. It would be so cruel to yourself to not chase an open opportunity— too many what-if's that will continue to haunt you for the rest of your life."
There's a pause and Minji smiles.
"I'm saying this because I know you— we're twins, girlie. Trust me, I know what's inside that pretty little brain of yours."
A soft chuckle escapes Mina's lips as she continues to wipe her cheeks, leaving her eyes and cheeks slightly puffy and red. She must have been so worried about hurting Kageyama that she couldn't even fathom what she would have done for herself. Perhaps, her resolve may have wavered there for a moment, but it's hard not to regain some sense back into herself when it's her own sister giving a pep-talk.
It's not going to be easy for sure, telling him what she wants to do. She doesn't know how bad this is going to pan out and how much hurt she's going to inflict with the news, but Mina wants to try for herself too. Of course, she's very much willing to find solutions to make their relationship work, even if they resort to long distance.
Breathe, she breathes—in and out. We can make this work.
"You're right," Mina sniffles and tries to smile. "This isn't the time to be moping around. We'll make this work— we can try. I'll try to tell him as soon as I can a-and we can talk about it properly! I'm sure we can find a middle ground to all of this."
Breathe.
There's always a way.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hey guys, it's been a while since the
last post but here it is! A little shorter this time but I guess we're just getting ready for the upcoming chapters. Also, if you guys noticed, I did play on Antenna and renamed it to Toy Entertainment because Yoo Heeyeol (CEO) was in a band named Toy. I also love their music and how chill the company is!
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I hope you guys enjoy this new chapter and I'll see you guys on the next update! Thank you!