So hey.
Uhm, if you're reading this, first of all thank you for being here for me and supporting me. This is kinda of different compared to my other parts of this book so thanks for checking it out anyway.
I'd like to first say thank you to all of you who wished me a happy birthday. It really meant a lot and made my kinda hard day better. So thank you <3
Now on to why I'm posting this...
Honestly this is really hard for me to say but I need to get it out and explain what's going on:
Recently, I've been having physical, spiritual, and mental struggles. I hate to put it that way but it's just the truth. Physically, I've been eating less (not on purpose but still) and loosing weight. I was already on the underside of what's healthy for my age and height and all that but now I'm even less and it's kinda concerning me. Spiritually, I feel like I'm just not living how a Christian should. I feel like I'm completely disappointing God and living a fake Christian life. Mentally, my emotions and head space have been all over the place this past week. I thought it might just be hormones or something but it's been a lot more serious than I feel is normal. The anxiety that I thought I'd finally gotten over has been trying to come back and weird feelings that I've never felt before or can describe have been attacking me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having suicidal thoughts or am wanting to hurt myself. Nothing like that. But it's still really hard what I'm facing currently.
I just want to throw out there that so many of you on here have been such a big help these past few days, just being there to make me smile when all I want to do is cry. You guys have really helped and I love y'all so much.
But I don't think Wattpad as a whole is helping the situation. Not from anything y'all did but just because I'm on it so much these days and caring more about Wattpad then my daily devo time. And I hate that. I feel so fake.
So I'm taking a break. I'm going to start small, just the next two days completely away (Dec 30-31) and then I'll be back on Sunday to post a Golden Rain chapter. But after that, I'm not sure how much I'm going to be on.
I hate doing this to you guys because I love talking with you and I have so many good friends on here that I would be so upset if I lost. So if you don't want to lose touch, please please please dm me and I'll give you my Pinterest, discord, and/or Google chat info. I still want to keep in touch with y'all, but I'm not sure if Wattpad is the best way to do it.
Thank you guys so much for being patient with me. I know this might come as a shock to some of you because I've been hiding it fairly well. And I'm sorry for not being completely genuine sometimes. But here I am now being honest, and I love you guys with all my heart. I promise I'm not giving up on myself, on y'all, or on God. I never have and I promise I never will.
As of now, I will be on for the rest of the day. But I'll be signing off tonight.
Again, remember that I love you guys so much. Thank you <3