Ellianna Vanessa's Point of Veiw
"MOMMY!"
I heard Timothy's voice, and when I look at him to confirm it I saw him standing there with my parents, they are seem so shock too when they saw Kyle inside.
"Oh?" Kyle said, seems like everything was still processing on his mind, "Ahm, I'm going now, I just gave you that folder" he said and I saw him bid his goodbye to my parents and glance at our son before he leave.
Napasapo na lang ako sa noo ko, hindi ito ang naisip ko na pagkikita nilang mag-ama! Bigla na lang lumapit sakin si Timothy "Mommy? Are you mad?" he ask me, and I immediately softened, I hug Timothy.
"No, why did you think that?" I said and carry my son to seat on my lap "We didn't expect him to be here" Mama said and I nodded, that's not their fault. "It's okay Ma, it's no one fault" sabi ko my son played the ballpen on his finger.
"Timothy wanted to surprise you here so we brought him here" Papa said, and I just kissed my son's head. Hinayaan ko na lang si Timothy na maglaro sa loob ng office, my parents was there to look after him.
Kyle didn't shown up that day, and I also signed Xayrille's contract for my son. "Timothy, do you like doing photoshoots? Like on the television?" I ask my son while fixing his clothes, he's fresh from the bath and I'm helping him to cloth himself.
"Like Daddy?" he asked innocently and I nodded, I was once told him that his father was model and he's father was sometimes shown in television "Yes, do you want to be like him? Like he was before?" I ask him again and he nodded happily.
"Yes Mommy" he said so I comb his hair and fix his bag for his essentials, pupuntahan namin si Xayrille para maayos namin ang contract ni Timothy sa kanya. Before going to Xayrille's shop, we go to the company first, some of our employees adore Timothy when they saw him with me.
"Ang pogi mo talagang bata ka" puri ng secretary ko ng makarating ako sa office, may meeting pa kasi ako kasama ang mga board of directors "Can you please look after him while I'm in the conference room?" I asked a favor to my secretary.
"But ma'am who will assist you in the meeting?" she said but I just smiled at her "No need, just take care of my son okay?" I said and my secretary nodded, I bend down and look at my son "Mommy will leave okay? But I'll be back, Mommy needs to work" I said and kissed my son's head.
"Okay Mommy" he said so I left him with my secretary inside my office, I go straight to the conference room and the board of directors are already complete, ako na lang ang kulang
"I'm sorry I'm late, I just settle some personal stuffs" I said and sat on my chair "No, it's okay Ms. Waltz your not also late" one of the board of directors said so I nodded and the meeting started.
Tungkol lang naman yun sa mga artist na handle ng company namin, at sa mga gusto kong i-handle namin. There's also some small agencies out there that was under our care, my parents really work hard for this company so as their only daughter, I promise to take care of it like how they take care of it before I take over.
"Thank you for your warm presence Ms. Waltz" Mr. Aldovino said, and I nodded, they just offer their hands for a shake hands. Nang maka-alis na lahat ng board of directors ay kinuha ko ang folder na ginamit namin kanina, then I noticed that I am with someone now.
"It's been three years?" he said and stood up, he went to me, I can see the anger on his eyes and I understand it "Since you left without even saying a proper goodbye? Yet you say goodbye but with pen and letter?" he said.
There's a bit longing on his voice and I can also sense his anger towards me, I was about to answer him when the door open and it reveal my son and my secretary "He's looking for you Ma'am" my secretary said
I went to my son and I saw how Kyle's eyes softened when he drop some glance on our son. "Let's go" I said and hold my son's hand, I know it was rude but I just take a glance to Kyle for a goodbye. "Your schedule today Ma'am was signing the documents and you don't have any meetings for today" my secretary said.
"Thank you, but can you please leave all the documents to my table" I said and my secretary nodded, I also told her I'm going somewhere so I won't be at my office for this day. Inayos ko na muna ang seat belt ni Timothy sa passenger seat bago ako umikot para sumakay sa driver seat.
My friends didn't know that my son was here, I just told Xayrille that I'll be going on her shop for the documents I signed. Nang makarating sa shop ni Xayrille ay nagpark na ako at inalalayan ulit ang anak ko pababa at kinuha ko na din ang gamit niya at gamit ko.
"Where are we Mommy?" he asked me maybe the place was not familiar to him "Where in your Tita Xayrille's Shop" I said and guide my son towards the main door, the guard greet us. Xayrille shop was so beautiful, it's have girly ambience maybe her shop was for girls.
Xayrille main shop is here, where all the girls stuff was here, she also have a shop for Man's clothing line but that was a different shop, and now she's planning for Kid's clothing line. We go upstairs where her office located.
I knock two times and when I heard her voice I open the door and I saw her on her chair focused on reading all the documents while Viel was seating on her couch sipping coffee. "Ninong!" Timothy run towards Viel that makes Viel stunned for a seconds.
"Timothy!" Viel said and welcome my son with a wide hug, Xayrille stop doing what she's doing and go to my son "You didn't tell us, your with your son" Xayrille said while admiring my son "I didn't expect that we will stay here for a week, I just thought it was two days but I'm taking over my parents company so yeah, Timothy will have his photoshoot here" I said.
"Your so handsome" Xayrille said while playing with my son "Gracias" Timothy said that shock the couple "He knows it" Viel said and carry my son on his arms "We teach him to speak Spanish sometimes but I more often teach him speaking in English and Tagalog" I said.
"We will start our photoshoot next month cause I'm still fixing my last movie after leaving the showbiz" Xayrille said and signal me to follow her so I leave my son with Viel. Xayrille seat on her swivel chair and I just seat on her visitor chair in front of her table
"Does he meet his father?" Xayrille asked and I nodded they already meet two times now! Today and also yesterday "Yeah, but I didn't tell him about it, maybe he already have an idea? Timothy called me Mommy two times when they two meet" I said.
"I don't want to meddle with your life, but it's okay if Thunder knew, he deserves to know Van. I know your just doing it for Timothy's safety but he's the Father and he have all the right to see and be with his son" Xayrille said and she have a point.
"I'm also thinking of it, but I'm looking for a right time, what if he won't accept Timothy as his son? After I left him? Maybe he overthink Timothy was son by other man" I said, I know I'm just overthinking but I can't erase the fact that Kyle might not accept our son as his.
"Your saying that because that's your overthink, but trust me when Thunder almost lost his spotlight when you leave him. He search for you but I know your connection was stopping him from finding where are you, he also beg to us to tell him where the hell are you that time" Xayrille said that makes me a selfish person.
"He almost gave up his career as a future successful director just to find you before, he can throw all of his sacrifice, his fame, his name in the industry if that's the consequences to have you again. But after years of not getting any information about you, he was close to ending himself" Xayrille said that's makes me blame myself more.
"But Harry saw him so he immediately stop him from doing that, he always think of you Van. He never tired of thinking of you, he almost lost everything he reach just to be with you but you left him, and we understand you and him. Gusto na namin sabihin kung nasan ka at ang tungkol sa anak niyo kaso ayaw namin na pangunahan ka sa desisyon mo"
"Thunder see a psychiatrist every week, hindi namin siya hinayaan na mag-isa dahil baka kung ano ang gawin niya. But until one day, he decided to move forward again, we we're actually shock when he stood up and told us he's gaining his fame again, he'll reach his dreams again like you wanted him to be"
"You became Thunder inspiration to move forward, we didn't know but he always told us that he'll be waiting for you to come back because he know you will" she said and I can stop myself from crying, I'm indeed a selfish person, I left him without even saying a proper goodbye, I hurt him, I hide our son from him, I take his dreams from him.
"He doesn't even deserve me, I'm a selfish person Xayrille, how can I told to myself that leaving him means achieving his goals? Leaving him means will make his life more okay? But leaving him just lead him in so much pain that he almost lost everything he trying hard to earn, I ruin him Xayrille" I said while crying, Xayrille went to me and hug me.
"No, it's not your fault, I know Thunder won't blame you for this, he will understand everything, just tell him the truth, both of you suffer so it's not your fault" Xayrille comfort me, I just cried for minutes until I calm down.
"You probably didn't notice but Timothy and Harry left when we are talking so your son won't see you hurting and crying" Xayrille said and seat in front of me "Thank you Xayrille, I know now what will my decision is" I said and she nodded.
"Just tell him the truth, you two deserve to be happy after you've been through, you two need to settle things that was left over before" Xayrille and I nodded. Nag stay pa kami ng ilang minuto kanila Xayrille bago kami dumiretso sa hospital para bisitahin sina Zharina at Finley.
"Is Doctora Zharina and Doctora Finley are available?" tanong ko sa nurse na nasa information desk "Yes ma'am they are in their office" sabi ng nurse kaya tumango na lang ako at nagpasalamat. We go straight to Zharina's office first, I knock and after that she told us to let in.
"Baby boy!" Zharina said when she saw who's with me, Finley was also here so we don't need to go in Finley's office "Kailan pa kayo naka-uwi?" tanong ni Fin pinang-gigilan na nila ang anak ko "Last week, hindi kami agad nakabisita dahil nabusy ako ngayon lang naging available" sabi ko
"What if we throw a party for Timothy? Ngayon lang siya dumalaw dito, stay good na ba kayo?" tanong ni Zharina nagkipit balikat naman ako dahil di ko pa alam "I don't even know" I said, Timothy looks comfortable with his aunties so I let him.
Pero nakatulog din agad siya dahil na rin siguro sa pagod sa byahe at hindi na din siya natigil sa kalalaro dahil nalibang siya sa mga Tita at Ninang niya. Ash, Charm, Chelsey, and Samantha immediately go here when they knew Timothy was here.
"When did you plan on telling this to Thunder?" tanong ni Chelsey, napalingon naman ako sa anak ko na mahimbing ang tulog sa hospital bed sa may office ni Zharina. "I don't know? Maybe if we meet again? Or if he asked me about it?" I said and they nodded.
"I can sense he'll be a good father to Timothy, I saw him how he treat Xaylaine's twins" Finley said, I already imagine that too, Kyle being a good father to our children makes my heart flutter even more.
"Xayrille expect us on her mall show for her last movie, and she want us to come" sabi ni Ash at halatang payag naman silang lahat pero ako ay hindi ko pa alam. "I'm checking my schedule" I said and they nodded, we just talked about our previous life.
They are doing good with their lives now, and so am I but I know something or either someone was missing. Ilang araw kong pinag-isipan kung kailan ko ipapakilala si Timothy sa Tatay niya, per tuwing binabalak ko na ay talagang di umayon samin ang panahon.
Umattend ako sa mall show ni Xayrille pero di ko na sinama si Timothy dahil hindi naman yun sanay sa mga crowded places, my parents was the one looking after him. "Congratulations" we greeted Xayrille for her successful mall show.
Nag dinner kami sa may isa din sa mga restaurant sa mall, Xaylaine was with us but she didn't bring her twins she left her twins with her husband. "Congratulations again" Ash said and sipped on her glass.
"Thank you, after this I'm leaving the showbiz" Xayrille said finalizing her decisions "I heard from them, you and Zach will leave?" Samantha said and Xayrille nodded "Yeah, we're going to Tagaytay after I settle everything here" Xayrille said.
"I do know who's going to be married next" Charm said and look at Xayrille, we just laughed at her "Ako na naman? Di ba pwedeng si Van muna?" she said so the attention was now on me "What? Kyle and I didn't settle things, he still don't know that Timothy was his son"
"Tell him!" they urge me to tell that to Kyle but I don't know how? Saan ko sisimulan? Paano ko sasabihin sa kanya? "Stop, you all pressuring Van to tell the truth" Zharina said, I just sipped on my juice.
"They deserve to be happy" Ash said and smiled at me, "Thun suffer a lot, he deserves to be with his son and his woman" Xaylaine said and she held my hand "If you already found comfort on him again, and so be it. Thunder deserve everything after what happened, you two deserve all the good things" Xaylaine said.
After they told me everything they knew about relationships, I already earn a lesson from them. Based on my experiences plus their experiences I already earn a lot. Before I was thinking about people would think about me or what will happen on my decision I'm always been so selfish.
After everything happens to us, I already learn my lesson, I should trust Kyle enough, I should not leave him. I didn't trust him like he wanted me to trust him, I left him not for his own sake but because of my stupidity and selfishness.
"Ma, I'm going to Viel's unit, I'm getting something" I said and Mama nodded at me, my son was playing "Mommy's leaving" I said and Timothy only nodded at me, I kiss his cheeks for a goodbye. I go out and ride my car, I go straight in Viel's condominium.
When I reached the building I park my car and go straight to his unit, when I finally reach it I pushed his doorbell. "You're early" he said and guide me going inside, I sat on Viel's couch and he even preferred a food for me.
"So? What favor you want that you want to talk with me in person?" I asked him cause he's asking for a favor. "Elle will be having a guest show tomorrow and I wanted to but in" he said and I get what he want to say "So? You want me to pull a string from you?" I said and he nodded while seating on his couch
"Yeah, but it's fine if you don't want" he said, I just chuckle at him and look at him like he's not believing in skills I can do "Really? Do you think I can't pull a string for you? Tell me the show and I will see what I can do" I said and he smiled at me like he already won a lottery.
"It's a show Double K, I saw it on Elle's schedule and I also heard that variety show agency under your company" he said so I nodded at him, "Okay fine, I'll put you on the show as a surprise guest" I said and he nodded, I bet he want to confess something in the show.
We talked about something that will help his plan, I'm going to support him of course. And when I'm already late for dinner, I stood up and told Viel I'm leaving, mas nauna siyang lumabas kaya ng lumabas ako ay nagulat ako ng makita si Xayrille at Kyle.
"Viel" I called my cousin that makes their attention goes to me "Hi Van" Xayrille greeted me and went to us, she seem so drunk "Are you drunk?" I asked her, umiling naman siya sakin so maybe she's just tipsy? "Nope I'm good, uuwi ka na?" she asked me and I nodded.
"Yep, mauna na ako Viel, mauna na ako Xayrille" I said and gave Xayrille a hug for my goodbye "I got to go too" I heard Kyle said so I guess we we're riding the same elevator? Mas nauna ako sa kanya at kasunod lang siya. Hinintay namin na makarating yun sa may ground floor.
When we finally reach the ground floor I immediately go to the parking lot, I was about to go to parking lot when he stop me and hold my arms.
"Are you really ignoring me?" he said, I badly want to hug him and tell him everything and say sorry but I just can't "No, I'm not" I said and was about to get my arms from him when he hold his grip but he make sure he's not hurting me.
"Then let's talk" he said so I just nodded, he let go of my arms and I sign him just to follow my car. I ride my car same as him, he let me lead the way so I go somewhere we can talk properly.
I stop my car near the park, I stepped out and get my phone. Nakasunod lang siya sakin hanggang sa umupo ako sa may isa sa mga bench doon, he sat beside, it's funny how we do it so many times? If we're having some deeply talks or fixing things between us, we use to seat on one of the benches
His confession, same as mine, one benches in Singapore before we're we settle things and we actually thought that maybe that time, we can be happy. And now here? I took a deep breath I can't find my words and good thing he spoke.
"Why did you bid your goodbye through letters? I told you didn't I? Trust me with all your heart, I will fix those things and you also promise me, your not leaving but you did" he said full of hatred I can sense that, maybe he's hating me for leaving him before and moving alone after everything.
"You should told me you are tired and scared of my spotlight, I can leave that for you, just to make you comfortable!" he said and he started crying, I stop myself from crying "You know me very well Elly, I can sacrifice and do everything for you just to make you comfortable!"
"I just did that for you to achieve your dreams" I said, I don't want to be selfish but I'm being selfish for leaving him "But leaving you wasn't the right choice, I ruin you, your dream and your career, I thought leaving you will put you in good situation but not, I put you in hell"
I can't contain my tears, my eyes betray me "Yeah, you ruin me, my dreams and even my career. You really know me because you know how to make my world upside down!" he said and when I look at him, he's just looking at the skies, tears was falling from his eyes.
I badly want to erase the pain he was carrying but how can I do that if I'm the one who put him that? And I'm so stupid for doing that!
"What about that boy? Is he your son? Or maybe our son?" he said and I nodded I saw how pain consume his eyes, he shut his eyes and when he open it he's looking at me with full of pains that I can't take away from him.
"H-He's our s-son" I said and cover my mouth from sobbing hard, I saw how his finger travel on his hair
"My son, our son, I didn't get a chance to be with him when he's a little baby boy, I didn't get a chance to carry him in my arms, I didn't get a chance to greet him on his first birthday. I didn't get a chance to hear him calling me Daddy on his little voice, I didn't get a chance to be with him in three years, I didn't get a chance to be with my family for the whole three years!"
I just cried beside him because that's all my fault, I hide our son from him so he didn't get a chance to do all of that. He's crying like there's no tomorrow, maybe the pain I cause was already too much to handle and he can't take it anymore.
"I hide him, b-because I thought that was the best choice, for him to be s-safe" I explained but he's still hurt, and I already knew I can't take it. But at least he knew the truth right? Are those truths enough for him?
"I already lost one, and now I already lost my responsibility to our son for three years!" he said still blaming himself for not being with our son for the past years, after a minutes of crying he stood up and take a glance at me.
"Thank you for being honest with me Elly" he said and he turn his back at me, I run towards him and hug his back "Please don't go, take me back please, take me and our son back please" I please him even though I know he won't, I cried on his back.
I already expected him to finally letting go of me but there's still hope on my heart that maybe, I still have a place on his heart? Maybe we can still fix things but this time I will trust him with all my heart. But the moment he force my arms to let go of his waist break my world, all my hopes was broke, my heart was broke into pieces.
Maybe I deserve it? Because I also dump him.
"You really know me, but let me atleast rest Elly I deserve a rest after everything. I need to think before taking you back or even taking our son back, I badly want to make it up to him. I deserve a peaceful rest and I hope you'll let me think about it"
The moment he said that, he left me with broken hearts, maybe this was the feeling leaving by someone you really loved. Like how he feels before, I leave him two times and I also broke his heart two times but still he accepted me. But who am I now if I won't let him at peace?
He obviously wants space from everything, maybe this is also the sign to let him go. For all the memories with been through together, for all the memories we created together, maybe this is the end of our love story before, and we need to move in the next level, we need to face the after consequences of our actions.
Maybe I'm not really for him in the very first place? Maybe our story was like on my parents story? They stay because of me? Maybe ours too? We will stay connected because of our son? But the different is, Kyle leave and gave up already when I'm fighting for him now.
I deserve it anyway because when the time he's fighting for us, instead of rooting and trusting him, I choose to leave and let him fight our own battle in this world.
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- itsmeyngel -