July 11th
I don't remember the rest of my shift. Not like I usually remember the boring bits and pieces of my repetitive job but today, right now, I really don't remember. I remember the odd glances of confusion and the lingering questions from Rosie but other than that, there's nothing but a blank screen with the faint lettering that spelt out his name.
Kai.
When I was done—which I got off earlier than usual as someone decided they wanted to come in early, get some extra hours in—I walked through the back like usual.
I felt guilty because I never got to pick up our conversation. After I asked him to step aside it only got busier and my occasional glances in his direction in between making coffees and peppermint cold chocolates, unfortunately weren't enough to replace a conversation and eventually, I glanced and he wasn't there anymore.
I swung my bookbag to my front as I remembered that I still had the baked goods from the day before and my stomach had been begging for sustenance since 7 pm yesterday. I unpackaged a chocolate croissant, stuffed it in my mouth and continued walking at a slower pace than usual.
I get paid in a week and that'll be the one check closer to leaving my mother. Truthfully, I could've been left. And truthfully, I was scared to. My mother was still my mother, a shell or not. She looked like her and had her voice. Even when she's yelling at me I can still hear the praises of the past when I would win first in a track competition or her cheers after I won my spelling bee in 6th grade.
Three checks. Two months. One less problem.
"Are you off?"
A jolt went through my body as I looked up and saw him. The unexpected. Kai was there in all of his smiling glory waiting for me and here I was, a croissant stuffed in my mouth, bags that reached hell, and a shitty mood.
"W-" I removed the croissant from my mouth, basically spitting it out between my fingers "what? Did you wait for me? It's been six hours Kai.."
He chuckled softly, his cheeks red from the heat and his fingers clasped tightly around the bamboo cup from earlier. "I know. We didn't finish talking."
In the most of casual tones with the sweetest smile, he made my heart flutter for the fifth time today. "We weren't having that interesting of a conversation for you to wait...that long." I stepped toward him slowly, my cheeks hurting like there were resistance bands that refused to stretch.
He hummed as he took a small step toward me, our efforts now putting us right in front of each other. His sweet almond shaped eyes oozed of dark honey that dripped directly into mine as I stared up at him.
"Well thank you for waiting." I murmured, almost embarrassed by the gesture.
Truthfully, I wouldn't say I'm the nicest or friendliest of people so it's shocking that I even have a friendly relationship right now. I've probably said more words to Kai in a day than I have in three weeks; if you don't count talking to customers.
"You can consider this my partial payback payment to you." He smiled a cheeky smile, his eyelashes curling with the wrinkles next to his eyes.
I chuckled softly as I walked around him, my fingers picking at the stale baked good I had in my hand, flakes flying through the wind and scattering across our path ahead. "You don't owe me anything, Kai. I just walked you home. What if I was a serial killer doing my daily good deed? Then what?" I turned on my heels to look back at him, his eyes lowered as he stared down at me and followed behind me at a stroll-like pace.
"I don't think you'd be able to kill me, I'm pretty strong."
I poked my lips out slightly as I nodded. "But you don't know how strong I am. I could be a body builder for all you know."
He chuckled deeply, his head going to the side as he smiled and the adams apple in his throat bounced vividly. As he laughed and the wind glided across his skin and through his dark hair, his side profile was put on display. Kai was someone who you'd see on the street and create a fake scenario about how the two of you would meet and it would like love-at-first-sight. Then you would realize that this is real life and someone as beautiful as him could only exist to you as a stranger or as a scenario—a dream.
And to me, he was a dream. A dream that I'd never had before. One that was new and almost scary because you had no clue what would happen next. It wasn't like a repeated nightmare that you grew accustomed to and just learned to wake yourself up from; this was something that even if it was a nightmare, I don't think I'd leave.
"I wish you'd let me walk you home."
I clicked my teeth and pushed my hair back. "I like walking you." I argued hoping he'd leave it at that.
He stepped up on his porch, his hand held out after him for me to grab onto as I stepped up. I didn't fully think about it—that I was touching him; making physical contact—but after I processed it I nervously and quickly pulled away.
He stared down at me with questions in his eyes that he held from his tongue. He hummed slightly before turning toward the door and beginning the same process we repeated last night. "The walk would be longer."
"Huh?"
He glanced back at me, the light hitting his skin and making it seem as if he was the reincarnation of the sun. "If you let me walk you home, the walk will be longer and we can talk more."
I couldn't help but smile at him. His soft voice and simple actions of kindness that seemed so natural for him were new to me. Well not new but familiar.
"Or we could've just walked slower but," I clicked my teeth as I stepped from the porch, "the walks already over so...better luck some other time."
He sighed as he turned around and stepped forward so that the front of his shoes leaned off the porch. "I guess you're right. We can always try again tomorrow."
My body froze slightly, his eyes bright with excitement and an innocent mischief that I'd never seen before. "What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned.
"You seem like the type to work everyday ya know so I might as well just walk you home everyday—or I guess you walk me home. Slowly. Very slowly." He leaned back as he dragged out the last of his words to emphasize how long he planned our walk to be.
"You can't have that much time on your hands, Kai. That's unnecessary."
He shook his head, that smile reappearing on his face. "I've got plenty of time. Besides, I am in debt, aren't I? Bye Celestia. I'll see you tomorrow."
I watched as he disappeared behind his front door, the smiling elephant on the center of the reef mocking me.
Who told him my name?
...
He kept his word and despite my pleading and debating, he has walked me home for the last two weeks. It's not possible for me to deny that I enjoy his presence. The way I think of him as this sun-blessed angel with the purest of intentions, there's no way I can. And when Rosie brought up the topic the next day, she told me something that I didn't know about myself.
"I've never seen you smile, Cel." I paused as I stared down at her. She continued sweeping as if she hadn't said anything shocking to her, as if it had been brewing in the back of her mind long enough for it to be familiar thought. "You've given me those fake smiles that never reach your eyes or the ones where you only slightly curl the corners of your lips, but when he showed up, you smiled. You really smiled."
That interaction combined with the way I think of him and these walks home, have forced me to think about myself aswell. Not just my exhaustion but how he cures it for reasons I may never know.
This man I met two weeks ago has unknowingly given me more emotions and thoughts than I've had in a long time. Maybe this is my karma. Whether it's good karma or bad, I don't know yet, but I'm sure I'll find out soon with how close we are getting in such a short time.