Yumetsuki sighed as she reached to tuck her hair back behind her ear, feeling a strange sense of exhaustion coursing through her body. She had been trying to wash the dishes, but it was proving hard to concentrate on the task even with the absence of Naruto. The young boy had gone for yet another trip with his classmates and Iruka, and even the silence did not compel Yumetsuki. No, rather, she had begun to dislike the sound of silence. It felt heavy and overburdening upon her body.
In the end, there was no choice for Yumetsuki but to simply give it up. She turned off the sink and leaned against the counter, massaging her forehead. The wintry evening was falling, and the snow outside her kitchen window was frigid. Yumetsuki was rarely ever affected by the cold, but she felt that she would rather be beneath her warm covers. She simply wanted to exist there forever.
Weariness and exhaustion – those were the two things that had always been a part of Yumetsuki's short life. And right now, at what should be the lovely age of nineteen, the young woman felt the burden of those emotions to be the highest that she had ever encountered. Yumetsuki tried to think of a reason behind it but the real reason behind was hard to mention without tearing up.
Dinner and cleaning up could be neglected today, Yumetsuki tried to convince herself. It was better to leave work until tomorrow than to do it half-heartedly today. She looked wearily toward the clock that hung in the sitting room and the hands were slowly approaching eight. Yumetsuki had been up since five in the morning, and the amount of work had been piled up like the snow in her heart.
"I suppose I should change..." Yumetsuki mumbled to herself, and she decided to only change her clothes that evening. She threw her clothes into the laundry and pulled on her soft and warm nightwear. She pushed her long hair up, curling them up into a bun on the back of her head.
The gift that Shisui had given her sat on the palm of her hand, and she stared at it in silence. That silence had persisted for a very long time until she sighed softly and set it down into her jewellery box, closing it firmly. She hoped not to think too much about it tonight.
But before Yumetsuki could collapse onto her bed and bid goodbye to the day, there was a knock on the backdoor. She halted for a moment, her body racing with adrenaline on the prospect that some bad news had come her way once more. She stood frozen until she felt a sense of warm, familiar Chakra outside – it was Hatake Kakashi.
"Kakashi-Kun?" whispered Yumetsuki as she slowly slid the door open, surprised to see him standing outside, snow dusting him. But her worries were not sated until – "Is everything alright? Is something the matter? I was not expecting anyone today..."
The sight of Yumetsuki's bright blue eyes so worried, the silver of it swirling with fear – it felt like a dagger in Kakashi's chest. His smile faltered for a moment, but he quickly fixed itself: even if she was so intensely worried whenever he came to visit her, he would make sure that he would bring a time in her life when she would never have to face such fears.
"Oh, everything's good, I was just stopping by," Kakashi replied kindly, and he watched her features relax in awareness that he would never lie to her. "I apologise for not letting you know in advance. I heard you were going to be alone, and you didn't have lunch, so I brought dinner... it is dinner time for you, right?"
"Hm?" Yumetsuki asked, appearing to have started to think of who could've informed her being alone today to Kakashi. She also felt like he simply always figured things out on his own. "Um, yes... it is dinner time for me... come on inside..."
Moving out of the way to allow him to come inside, Yumetsuki slid the door close and turned to find Kakashi carrying two bags of food. She wasn't sure what compelled him to get so much but she didn't say much about it, hurrying to clear the living room for him to sit comfortably.
"Hey, hey, I'll do it," Kakashi assured her, setting down the food on the table and hurrying to put an end to her distracted cleaning. "It's not my first time here, is it? Take it easy, you look tired,"
"How did you know that I was going to be on my own?" inquired Yumetsuki as she stopped setting the same pillow up thrice. "Did you find out through Hokage-Sama?"
"No, well... I found out through Kurenai," Kakashi admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "And to be fair... I have been meaning to spend some time with you..."
Even with that strangely sheepish demeanour, there was a sense of masculinity in Kakashi. Yumetsuki stared at him in silence as she realised this – the twenty-one-year-old was now taller and larger than her, something so very different from the boy that she had once known as a youth. He smiled at her, and rather than being boyish, it was unexpectedly reassuring and strong. She felt like she could rely on him.
It seemed to dawn on Yumetsuki that her trajectory of thinking was not making sense, and as she shook her head to throw those thoughts out like snow in her hair, her cheeks felt warmer than usual. She looked away from Kakashi, "Oh, right, um... I see... Kurenai-Chan likes to share things..."
"Are you feeling alright?" Kakashi inquired curiously, tilting his head to look at her closely. "Your face appears warm... are you feeling under the weather? Do you want me to take you to a doctor?"
"Oh, no, I am doing well, just taken aback," Yumetsuki replied. "Please, have a seat and I will fetch something for you to drink – oh, and the utensils and everything –"
"Yuren-Chan," spoke Kakashi, taking her arms gently in his hands, tracing length down to hold onto her hands. "Take it easy... I said it, didn't I? It's not my first time here. Have a seat and let me get everything. I got your favourite food today,"
Yumetsuki slowly sat down, watching Kakashi bustle around in her kitchen, observing him in silence. Kakashi brought the dishes and utensils back to the Chabudai as well getting something to drink for the two of them. He finally sat down, looking toward her as he set her metallic chopsticks for her.
"So, there's roasted fish that you enjoy," Kakashi said as he began to set up her plate for her first. "And your favourites – Tekkadon, Makizushi, cold Soba, Miso soup and these side dishes,"
Before she had even realised it, the Chabudai was laid out with all of her favourite food. Yumetsuki stared at everything and looked toward Kakashi, who was smiling as he lowered his mask.
"I know you want to say that I shouldn't have," Kakashi spoke, snatching those words right from her mind. "I did this because I wanted to. And it must have been a while since you last had all this, no? You're always running around, helping all those who need help... well, I don't really have anyone to treat but you. You have to accept this unreservedly,"
There were a lot of things that Yumetsuki wanted to say but the only thing that she could do was smile shyly in response. Even that, however, appeared to satisfy Kakashi because his smile widened. He eagerly used his chopsticks to pick up a Sushi, dipping it into the refreshing sauce and holding it out for her.
"Here, take a bite," Kakashi encouraged. "And let me know how you like it," He watched as she gently took the Sushi into her lips, chewing it silently and appearing to like it – he knew because her eyes lightened positively. He smiled. "It's good, isn't it?"
"Yes, very much so," Yumetsuki said once she had swallowed. "It is delicious..." She looked back at him, and their eyes met. "Thank you for bringing me dinner, Kakashi-Kun, I was not sure I would have had the courage to cook dinner tonight,"
"You're always welcome, Yuren-Chan," Kakashi replied. "I'm glad you enjoyed it... and as far as feeling tired... I hope you will get the courage to call me over whenever you don't feel like cooking,"
Yumetsuki had smiled lightly at that and picked up her chopsticks, beginning her dinner. Kakashi watched her for a moment, his eyes tracing the delicate manner with which she ate before she looked inquiringly back at him. In the response, Kakashi began to eat as well, letting the silence persist.
Their dinner was spent like that, with the silence of them having their tasty food. Kakashi ate with his eyes on Yumetsuki, and he felt completely full. He felt full of the warm food and the warming sight of the girl that he loved so intensely. He hurried to pour her some drink to have.
"I'll clear out the leftovers and clean," Kakashi told her when she finished eating. "I didn't have a lot to do today so I've got all this energy to waste," He watched her shake her head at him.
"No, I insist that I do it," Yumetsuki replied. "You have done a lot already, allow me to clean up. It is my home after all, I must not make a guest do that,"
"Is that all I am to you, a guest?" Kakashi asked, and startled by this, Yumetsuki looked at him with worry until she realised that he was joking. "Let me do the dishes and you can make us your tea. It always tastes so good when you make it,"
With this changing demeanour of Kakashi, joking so openly and smiling so unreservedly, Yumetsuki agreed. It had felt to her that she was reminded of Shisui by him, but she realised now that he reminded her more about the kind of person she wished to be. She wanted to joke with people, but she was very bad with humour since a young age, and she had never smiled so unreservedly that her teeth would show – life had simply never allowed her to learn such behaviour.
Life had always felt so tumultuous but as Yumetsuki stood next to Kakashi, drying and putting away the dishes that he washed for her while the aromatic matcha tea filled the air, it felt as such for the moment. It felt calm and grounded, and Yumetsuki wished that she could be held in this air – for a long time, for as long as she wanted. But she kept such thoughts with herself.
Some solace came to her in the form of the warm tea that she had with Kakashi as the two of them stood under lamp in her kitchen. She wrapped her fingers around the warm cup, her crystal blue eyes staring out the window and into her yard where the snow fell relentlessly.
"I hope Naruto-Chan is taking care of himself in this cold," Yumetsuki whispered. "Although he was unnecessarily tough with Naruto-Chan, I see now that Iruka-San has been making sure he keeps himself safe..."
"Could it be that Iruka's just a big fan of yours?" said Kakashi, and although he appeared to be joking again, there was a hint of something serious – or she was imagining such.
"What do you mean about that?" Yumetsuki asked curiously. "We have only ever talked during the parent-teacher meetings... and Naruto-Chan is very active, so it is hard to talk to his Sensei..."
"You're a wonderful Ninja, it would be hard not to be a fan of you," Kakashi said, brushing the topic away. "But I mean certain that Naruto will be alright. He's a tough boy, he's... your Godson, right?"
"He certainly is," agreed Yumetsuki, smiling softly against her mug of tea. "How are things going for you, Kakashi-Kun? Have you been busy with missions?"
"I've been busy, yes," Kakashi replied. "But nothing too major," He looked toward her. "Certainly not as busy as you. Missions, hospital and even working with Hokage-Sama while being a full-time mother to your godson – where do you find time for yourself?"
"During such pockets of time," Yumetsuki answered quietly. "I am here right now, with time for myself..." She met eyes with him. "I am now nineteen, Kakashi-Kun, I have grown up as much as you have, and work and Naruto-Chan... they are part of that life,"
Kakashi wanted to talk to her about this, yet he felt completely lost as to how to approach her in regard to her lending her burden to him. He wanted it all, to completely strip her of all that worried her, all the emotions that she could do without. He wanted to absorb it all from her and he wished that was possible – for he would've hugged her for an eternity to make it happen.
The silence was broken by the sound of distant barks, belonging to foxes, and Yumetsuki's glance upward told him it was one of her Summons. Kakashi had felt their presence outside when he had arrived but fortunately, he had not had to interact with any one of them.
"Raijin and Koujin are outside, and so is Nozuchi," Yumetsuki informed Kakashi. "The boys insist on keeping me safe... and Nozuchi does not trust them out there on their own. They are quite volatile, so I understand,"
"Definitely volatile, and very clearly protective of you," agreed Kakashi. "I don't think that they're very fond of me. Especially the darker grey one with Lightning abilities, Raijin,"
"Raijin is not very trusting of men in general," Yumetsuki assured him.
But it was clear to Kakashi that Raijin was not very trusting of men in general around Yumetsuki. Kakashi had no idea exactly what sort of threat the fox felt toward men when it came to the girl. He hoped that sense of jealousy had nothing to do with wanting to keep Yumetsuki as a solitary person.
"It has begun to snow hard," Yumetsuki continue as she set down her empty mug of tea. "You may stay over for the night... I am sure the snow will cease by the time dawn breaks,"
"If you don't mind," Kakashi replied far too quickly for his own liking, but as he cringed over his own sense of desperation, Yumetsuki gave him a small smile.
"You are always welcome at my home, Kakashi-Kun," Yumetsuki told him. She turned to walk in the direction of her bedroom. "Allow me to clear out my room,"
Once Kakashi had finished with his drink and come after her, he found that she had rearranged her bed to make it more suitable for two people. He felt his heart leap in happiness at the prospect of getting to sleep next to her once more. He had not liked the feel of his bed since that night.
"Were you alright with your pillow?" Yumetsuki inquired. "It was not too fluffy or too thin for you, was it? I can replace this one if you would like another,"
It took Kakashi a moment to realise that she had asked this from him because the last time that he had slept over at hers, he had pushed himself off of the pillow and onto hers instead. He flushed a little hot on the edges of his ears, but he shook his head no.
The distance between them was so short yet it felt so long, as Kakashi laid there, and he wondered how long it would take for him to encompass that. He had no one to talk to about his feelings toward Yumetsuki, and the girl herself was suffering too much to be burdened by someone like him. Kakashi felt sorrowful regarding it.
Depth of the night swept around them, and the frosted window gave no light to the dark room as Yumetsuki and Kakashi laid in bed. There was no wall between them, and they shared the same blanket, but he held himself still, not wanting to encroach on her space again.
Silence persisted on them, but Kakashi knew that Yumetsuki was awake. He could hear her breathing and it did not resemble the placidity of her sleep. He kept his quiet, however.
"Are you still awake, Kakashi-Kun?" whispered Yumetsuki, so quietly that it was like a breath. He could've missed it if he had sighed.
"Yes," Kakashi replied softly, glancing toward her and noticing her icy blue eyes glinting faintly in the dark. "Are you having trouble sleeping?"
There was a small hum in response, and it resembled the sound of a pout. Kakashi found himself smiling slowly at the thought of the girl but then frowned to himself as he realised what it meant.
"How much sleep do you get on average these days?" asked Kakashi.
"I try to sleep between twelve to five," Yumetsuki replied quietly, and Kakashi's frown deepened. "But I am well... I have never needed too much of sleep,"
Before Kakashi could think of a way to respond to the girl, Yumetsuki continued, "I do try to sleep well... but what can I do, Kakashi-Kun? I have to be a good person. I have to work hard for it. I want to make sure that all those under my care are able to live a comfortable life..."
And then, Yumetsuki did not elaborate further on this and Kakashi contemplated for a long time as he tried to think of a way to respond to her. But it didn't seem like she appeared to mind. Rather, it felt like she was relieved that he listened to her in complete silence. He wondered what else she harboured within her that she never confessed to her friends, or even to him.
Silence descended into sleep, and Kakashi was conscious of keeping himself away from Yumetsuki – that is until he was stirred awake from the agitation wafting off of the woman sleeping next to him. He reached up to rub his eyes and was about to reach for her arm when he heard it.
Yumetsuki was crying – tears trailed down her cheeks, freezing against her skin and her breathing was unlevelled, falling out of her lips as if she was being dunked under frigid waters.
Kakashi moved toward her at once, realising that she was still in her sleep, and he reached to pull her into his arms. Her body was fluctuating rapidly between hot and cold, and as he hugged her to soothe her out, his hand went straight to the back of her neck.
His fingers brushed against that symbol of her heritage on her back, and he focused his Chakra onto it just as Minato used – there was an immediate impact as Yumetsuki's body went placid and relaxed into his arms. But the tears in her eyes did not halt their journey down the rosiness of her cheeks. He continued to hug her close to his body, rubbing the length of her back.
"I am always terrified of what I will wake up to," cried Yumetsuki quietly. "Everyone leaves, one by one, and they leave so abruptly that it feels as if my heart has been wretched painfully from my chest. I worry about my friends, and I worry about Naruto-Chan,"
There was no doubt that Yumetsuki had been keeping these feelings inside of herself, and Kakashi understood those feelings. He feared losing any more of his friends now, that was true, but he was absolutely terrified at the mere thought of losing Yumetsuki. He would cease to exist. She was his only reason for existence. Her, Yuki Yumetsuki, and her ethereal presence in his life.
Not wanting to dwell too much on that unfathomable thought, Kakashi looked to the despondent girl, "Yuren-Chan," but Yumetsuki responded only by burrowing herself deeper against his chest, her cool tears spreading through the cloth and dab onto his skin. But he simply did not care about it.
"Come here," Kakashi continued, bringing her closer into his arms. "I'm here for you, Yuren-Chan. If you want to cry, cry against me. You're not alone at all, Yuren-Chan,"
Yumetsuki had curled up into his arms, and she didn't respond but Kakashi understood her feelings. He understood it very well. He continued to comfort her, soothing her out by stroking her hair. He continued to watch her in the dark as she cried herself to sleep in his arms, and he only had one thing to say –
"I feel as if I have neglected you, Yuren-Chan,
and for that, I'm truly sorry,"
❄️
A/N: Not good enough but more to come.