— Chapter twelve —
Felix grazes the counter with his hand as he goes around it, standing on the opposite side of Hyunjin, who just sat down on the barstools.
"Here you go." He slides the glass of wine over to Hyunjin. "It's a new bottle."
Hyunjin raises a brow, and takes a sip of the red liquid. "Mm." He says. "It's sweet."
Felix softly smiles as he takes a sip of the wine as well. "It is, isn't it?" He says after swallowing. "I am not that into sweet wines."
"Really?" Hyunjin asks. "Me too, I like my wine bitter."
Felix hums. "Are you a big drinker?"
This question is probably one of the most important out of the many questions Felix is going to ask tonight. It is so important because Felix doesn't want to get involved with another alcoholic, he doesn't want to be in yet another bad situation.
Hyunjin shakes his head. "Not anymore, no."
"Anymore?" Felix repeats, basically asking for him to elaborate.
Hyunjin nods. "I used to be, but everything changed after Nabi. I did not want to miss out on things with my daughter because I was a drunk."
Felix can't help but smile at how caring Hyunjin comes off. "She really is your whole world, huh?"
Hyunjin smiles a little himself, nodding his head. "She is. It's her and I against the world." He looks up and Felix. "But we may need another half..."
Felix's cheeks blush a little, and he looks down. "Jeez, you're so bold." He chuckles. "It's only the first date."
"Only the first," Hyunjin says with a smile. "And I'm already planning the third."
Felix's smile grows wider. He giggles a little and looks down to his wine glass. "Well then we better get to know each other really well tonight."
"I'm willing to stay all night if it means I can talk with you." Hyunjin says. "Why do you think Nabi is with her uncle?"
Felix chuckles. "So you are a big family guy? If you trust your brother with her I'd only assume.."
Hyunjin hums. "I am. Family is the most important thing to me, I grew up around a big one."
"Ohh." Felix nods. "That's good to hear."
Hyunjin tilts his head, but chuckles. "What about you?"
"If you're asking if I am a family guy, yes I am." Felix says. "But if you're asking about a big family, no I don't have one."
"Oh really?" Hyunjin asks. "You don't have a family?"
Felix shakes his head. "I only have my dad. My mom passed when I was young, and I never had any siblings." He says. "Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins also are a no, so it's really lonely on holidays."
Hyunjin doesn't smile at the attempt to joke. I'm so sorry Felix." He says. "That must have been hard."
"My mothers passing? One of the hardest things ever." Felix chuckles.
"If you don't mind me asking, what happened?" He asks.
"She got into a crash." Felix says bluntly. "I was really young, like really young."
"That's so sad. How did everything go?" Hyunjin asks, really curious about Felix. He wants to know everything there is to know.
"It was.." He pauses. "It was sad. That's really the only word I can think of. But it was mostly sad because I knew I would never get to know her how a son should know his mother. And that kind of killed me, it caused me to isolate. However, my father swooped in and made everything better."
Hyunjin softly smiles. "Well that's a good thing. Is he still around?"
Felix nods with a little smile himself. "He is. He is my best friend, has been since I was twelve. I love my dad." He can feel himself getting a little emotional, while his eyes start to water. The tears gather at the bottom of his eyelids, and then fall down his cheeks when to many of them gather.
Hyunjin notices the tears, and his smiles drops into a frown. "Oh no, don't cry." He takes Felix's hand. "Don't cry please." He chuckles.
Felix giggles. "I think the alcohol is hitting me. I'm getting way too emotional."
Hyunjin chuckles and stands up, walking over to Felix and leaning against the counter next to him. Felix turns around, also leaning against the counter.
Hyunjin looks at him, and his wet cheeks. "I wanted to hug you, but this is the closest I think I can get with where we stand right now."
Felix can't help but giggle. "So you can basically tell
me how we are going to spend our future, but you can't hug me?"
Hyunjin looks down at the floor. "Well when you put it like that.."
Felix giggles. Hyunjin does too, and his eyes can't help but stare at the beautiful man in front of him. Felix looks up, catching Hyunjin staring.
Hyunjin softly smiles. "You're pretty."
Felix blushes, butterflies erupting in him. "You're making it hard. I'm not supposed to image our wedding on a first date."
Hyunjin can't help but smile.
Felix does too, but his smile kind of falters. He takes a deep breath, before sinking to the floor. He plops his butt down on the kitchen floor with a huff, which causes Hyunjin to raise a brow at him. Felix motions his head to the spot next to him, so Hyunjin sits down too with a little sigh. He is so sassy.
Felix takes a deep breath. "I said too much, didn't I?"
Hyunjin declines with a head shake. "Not even. If anything you should say more."
Felix chuckles. "No it's your turn."
Hyunjin hums. "What should I say then? What would you like to know?"
Felix hums as he thinks. "Say something people might get mad at."
"People might get mad at..." Hyunjin whispers to himself. "That 'right person wrong time' phrase is the most ridiculous thing ever."
Felix snaps his head to Hyunjin. "What? Why?"
Hyunjin looks at him. "Well I mean, yeah it could happen. There could be the most amazing person on earth in front of you at the wrong time, but it will never be an excuse to abandon that person. If it really were the right person, you would make it the right time for them." He says like he has been holding it in.
"Because there might be a possibility that there will never be a right time given to you, and that opens the gate to the chance you will never get to have they person." He pauses. "And if it were the right person you would never open that gate. You wouldn't be able to live with that possibility if it were the right person. So for that reason, there isn't— and never will be— right person wrong time."
Felix stares off into the distance as Hyunjin's words sink into his mind. He was about to defend the phrase with his whole heart, but after hearing everything that was just said, he is seriously debating his opinion.
He looks over at Hyunjin, who is already looking at him. "Did I say too much?" Hyunjin asks.
Felix shakes his head. "No, not even." He chuckles. "You just have me thinking."
Hyunjin chuckles.
Felix does too, but he ends it off with a deep breath. "I've never actually dated anyone." He suddenly blurts. He looks to Hyunjin almost immediately for his reaction.
Hyunjin turns his head to Felix, and tilts it. "Really?"
Felix nods, looking back ahead of him. "It's so hard for me."
Hyunjin softly asks, with a questioning tone in his voice. "And why do you think that is?"
Felix sighs. "I really don't know. I guess it's just the way I deal with relationships. I have to feel an immediate connection to somebody or else I will leave right away. And once I feel that connection, I stay for however long it takes that person to come around."
Hyunjin hums. "Well that's not bad.."
"Yeah but once they do I become needy." Felix says. "I guess it's just because I have waited for so long needing them and now that I have them— I want them to show me they need me."
Hyunjin turns to look at Felix. "Again, it's not bad."
Felix turns to him. "But I don't actually think I am needed unless somebody is borderline obsessed with me and never leave me alone. It's so hard for anybody to actually fulfill that and even when they do... it's hard for me to keep them. I don't know how to act when somebody loves me— I always push it all away and ruin everything."
Felix sighs. "That's why I only am a hookup to everyone."
Hyunjin looks at him, and Felix looks at Hyunjin. Hyunjin has an unreadable expression plastered on his face, which causes Felix to panic a little inside. He can't already ruin what they have, not when he is just finally getting it to where he wants.
"I'm sorry.." Felix says, looking away. "I probably just ruined this and your idea of me, I'm sorry for that." He brings his knees to his chest.
Hyunjin's hand goes to Felix's legs, pushing them back down to their original position. His hand remains on Felix's thigh as he lets out a chuckle. "Ruined this? No Felix, you just taught me how to treat you." He smiles. "I can't thank you enough."
Felix feels his heart start to beat faster, and he can't help but smile. His cheeks flush as he looks down, his eyes on Hyunjin's hand.
He can't exactly describe how he feels, but it's something right. It's what he has wanted to feel, and he can't be happier that it's with the man he is now holding hands with and not somebody else.
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how do you guys like the new cover??