Soooo, it was a close call but I'm not dead. Anyways. I'm behind with about everything but I still did this instead of doing what I was supposed to do. I hope you enjoy it, some fluff, some repressed feeling and some fool moods. This is officially the first summer holiday chapter with a special guest. Please let me know what you think and if you want some more unrelated Max and J stories maybe take a look at my calendar thingy. Cheers!
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"And another box full of pillows and blankets. Who would have thought? Not me." The Dutchman exclaimed before pulling one of the pillows from the box and holding it out to Joanna, who only looked up shortly, before shaking her head amused at him.
"Please tell me how many fluffy things does a woman need in her home? How are they any different from the ones in the other box?" Max complained, standing over one of the boxes which have newly arrived from Monaco. He was holding onto a beige throw pillow with various shades of green jungle leaves on it. They were normally resting against the headboard in their Monaco bedroom, but since they moved to Austria, they decided that they would want their new home to actually feel like it, which is why all these boxes were now lying up in the corridor and their living room with personal items or in this case pillows which had about no use.
"The others are winter-themed," Joanna answered without looking up from the box she was standing over, resting on top of another one, on the other side of the room. There were framed pictures which they would have to find spots for in their new home to give it a personal touch.
"Wanna know what's in the box beneath it?" Max called over and Joanna could hear it in his voice that he won't be much help anymore. The Dutchman decided to rather make fun than actually help unpack things. "Oh, pillows! What a surprise. Another box of pillows whose general purpose is to sleep on them, but not these, you can't sleep on these, right J, because they are special?"
Rolling her eyes fondly at Max, who still didn't understand what a throw pillow was and what a pillow to sleep on looked like, she just pulled the framed picture of Max's first win out of the box, as a crashing sound was to be heard and upon looking over, Joanna saw Max laying onto the floor, the boxes of pillows and blankets on top of him which caused her to exhale slowly.
"Can you be careful with these boxes, in there is our whole life together?" The Austrian said while she allowed her fingertips to brush over a young version of Max's face. He looked so handsome and happy at that moment. On top of the world, Joanna knew that feeling only too well. The younger version of herself had only eyes for him. She wondered if they were always as evident as in that very picture.
"If you say it like that, it almost sounds romantic, but then you see all the pillows and you wonder what our relationship is about. Maybe we're trying to build the world's largest pillow fort." Max told her while fighting himself free, before stepping over the pillows and moving over to Joanna.
"You're not funny." She told him as he stood behind her, his hand on the side of the picture to look at it as well, which caused Joanna to smile slightly, before handing it to Max, who gently wrapped his other arm around her middle and pulled her gently against his chest, which caused Joanna to stop her unpacking, only to relax for a moment, her hands rested on Max's arm.
"Oh, come on. I'm extremely funny, you love me for that."
"Do I?" The Austrian wondered, which caused Max to reach around her to softly lead her head to look at him, his fingers gently holding onto her chin.
"Yeah, you do." He muttered before kissing Joanna. Lingering leaned against each other after the tender brush of lips, Joanna turned around in his hold, her hand coming up to his cheek. Her eyes moved from his lips to his eyes, these clear blue eyes, causing her to smile softly before they shared another sweet kiss. Max's hands behind her back holding onto the very first framed picture of the two of them. Resting the side of her head against his shoulder, for a moment, while looking up at Max, the Dutchman smiled down at her, before showing Joanna the picture.
"What do you think, the sideboard in the bedroom would be a nice place for it?" Max pointed out, which caused Joanna to nod against his shoulder before moving up to kiss his lips again.
"Perfect." She whispered between two kisses.
"Miss Lauda." A voice suddenly called, causing Max and Joanna to break the kiss before looking over to the door where Emma was standing her back turned on them while she was ranting her apology for disturbing them like that.
"It's fine, Emma," Max said, while he stepped away from Joanna but not without giving her a wink, which the maid couldn't see while he moved back to his own set of boxes, full of trophies which would have to find a new place in the Lauda House as well. His, Joanna's and Niki's. They thought it would be nice to keep them all together in the Grand Hall with the cars and the helmet collection they had, but a few just had to stay in their living quarters.
"What is it?" Joanna asked polity which caused the young maid to walk over to the lady of the house, a rolled-up carpet in her arms.
"We found this one with the other furniture, but it seems like it was never cleaned after an accident. Do you happen to remember what it was?" The maid wanted to know which caused Joanna to bite her lips shorty. Yeah, she recalled.
"Red wine." She answered seemingly not very present which caused Max to look up. He was also very aware of which rug that was, even though he wasn't present as it happened and was never explicitly told how it happened, but he knew that it symbolised.
"Great, makes things easier. Where do you want us to place it once it's cleaned." Emma spoke, the young girl already wanted to leave as Joanna spoke up again.
"Oh, there won't be any need for that. Place it as it is in my office, please." Joanna spoke which caused Emma to look at her surprised for a moment before she nodded and walked off to do as she was told, while Joanna stood over the box of framed pictures still, one of them in hand and a distant glance in her eyes.
"You're okay?" Max asked her from where he was standing which caused Joanna to free herself from her frozen state after a long moment before she started to nod.
"Yeah, I just forget sometimes what a train wreck of a person I am." She muttered while sitting down on the couch. Her partner fast to abandon his boxes in favour of sitting by Joanna's side, his hand finding her belly easily by now, before brushing his nose against Joanna's temple.
"You're not," Max told her honestly which caused Joanna to snort.
"Do you know what I thought as I was laying on the living room floor, so high on painkillers and sleeping pills that I couldn't move?" She asked Max, which caused him to give her a look to go on, while his hands had moved to hold onto her. "I'm only one overdose away from joining Jules."
"You are clean." Max pointed out. There were many moments of temptation, but she never fell for it, she always fought against it and Max was so fucking proud of her for doing that. "You're not like that anymore. And as long as I'm here, it will never happen again, I promise you I'm taking care of you, and I know that you will and are doing the same. We're taking care of each other, for better or worse."
Joanna had listened to him, and she was thankful for all he said, but she couldn't accept it, not at that moment. A memory, maybe a memory of one of her lowest points in life had come back to haunt her one more time.
"You were so badly hurt back then, and I wasn't there. You would have needed me, and I wasn't by your side. I couldn't be there for you, why do we think I can be better for him when everything is pointing against it?" She asked, the fat tears running down her cheeks.
"We will be fine, you're going to be an amazing mum, I know it. Just trust me. That's all you need to do, just trust me." Max promised her before pressing a kiss against the side of her forehead.
All she could do now was rest against Max's chest, lay in his arms and cry while he whispered sweet nothings into her ear and promised her a brighter future, reminding her of everything they had to be thankful for. His hand gently brushed over her baby belly while he cheered her up with terrible versions of baby names, everything to make her laugh, to make her show at least the tiniest bit of joy. Everything for her.
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"Miss Lauda," Adrian called as he entered the dining hall, the Austrian had decided that she would have breakfast downstairs for once due to Max not being home and the desk was just bigger, so she had a cup of tea and some toast while hanging over all the things which needed attention.
"Adrian, what's the matter?" The Austrian wanted to know, while biting into a piece of toast, her other hand holding one of the many notes about things which needed to be transferred into the books or signed off by her as the new owner of the Lauda House. It was rather unheard of for Adrian to address Joanna without wishing her a good day or morning like in this case.
"I was told that Mister Verstappen had asked for a guestroom to be readied. I wasn't aware that we were expecting guests, frankly, I would have pushed the visit of the tenants back if I would have known." The older Austrian spoke, which caused Joanna to lower the document she was reading to look at her employee.
"Don't fret," Joanna told him, to calm the older man down so he wouldn't have a heart attack at the idea of only shortly before announced visitors. "We can go and visit the tenants now, that way we'll be back long before our guest shows up."
Joanna got up, the chair moving back with a soft sound before she gathered the documents and the tenants' book in her arms. Adrian was fast to follow the younger Austrian through the halls towards the main door. It was a beautiful day, so Joanna decided they would walk. Being imprisoned in her own home due to medical order for bedrest was horrible, but by now she was cleared for light movement, which had put an expression of joy onto her face as the doctor told her so much.
"Visiting the tenants is a formality, there is no problem, or we would already have known about it. Receiving a visitor I don't know is... worrisome." The older man spoke which caused Joanna to smile at him tenderly before looping her arm around his, as the older one guided them down the gravel path which led through the forest and towards the first tenant they planned on visiting.
"Oh Adrian, if only everyone would care as much as you do." The younger Austrian said, while the older Austrian exhaled lengthy.
"I only wish that our guests feel comfortable. This house has a reputation to uphold, and I certainly don't want you to look bad." He admitted. The Lauda House was his home for longer than Joanna was alive, and he would never allow anyone to say a bad word about his home or the people who lived there under its roof.
"Ho could I ever look bad when you're having everything under control? I trust you to know what you are doing." Joanna told him before she left go of Adrian's arm to open the little gate which lead up to the farm of Maria and Franz.
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"We should have accepted Simon's offer and let him take us back," Adrian said as he followed Joanna on their way back, a basket filled with cheese, bread and meats hanging from his arm, while the younger Austrian carried a basket as well. Maria had made sure to pack one of her blueberry cakes and some fresh berries, while the youngest of the Müller's had presented her with a few wildflowers.
"I don't mind. It's such a lovely day. But I agree that they really didn't need to give us all this food." The Austrian spoke while she held out her hand to push a tree branch out of her way, waiting for Adrian to pass the place as well before she slowly let go. They were making their way back home through the forest, the little gravel path guiding their way.
"It's tradition. Just be glad Simon didn't present you with one of his cows." Adrian replied which caused Joanna to laugh.
"Oh yes. His wife would have gotten jealous." She joked as she joined Adrian who had come to a stop at the Lauda House to be seen in the close distance. Now they only had to walk through the garden up to the house. They just reached the house as Emma, one of the maids left the house to greet Adrian and Joanna and take the baskets from them with a small smile.
"Seems like we're just on time," Joanna told Adrian, as the gates in the distance opened and Max's car came into view. No matter how much Adrian annoyed him, Max would always drive himself and Joanna quite liked his little rebellion. It was amusing and she would never forbid him to do anything.
"Are you alright? You seem bothered by something. It's not the baby, is it?" Adrian asked causing Joanna to tear her gaze away from the approaching car to look at the older Austrian next to her. Her hand settled on her baby bump while she bit her lip.
"No, we're fine, thank you," Joanna said. "I just feel like this won't be easy at all. While other people would enjoy our way of living, I feel like she will fight it." Deep in her own thoughts, the Austrian rubbed gentle circles into the skin of her growing belly. Maybe she was worrying for no reason.
"You think she won't respect our rules?" Adrian wanted to know a bit warry, which caused Joanna to give him a look.
"That's not what I said." She muttered and it also wasn't what she believed. That wasn't it. Pia won't try to revolt against her way of living, but something still felt off.
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Biting her lips, Joanna stood by the closed balcony door in their bedroom. Max was still sound asleep, while the Austrian just couldn't keep laying down any longer. She had noticed the defensiveness towards Pia almost immediately which was largely unheard of normally, but the Italian had done something to offend the staff of the house even before she had unpacked her suitcase. Worrying her lip between her teeth, the Austrian moved over to the bed only to press a kiss against Max's cheek, which caused the Dutchman to move a bit, a light grumbling leaving his throat as he reached for Joanna's hand and tried to pull her closer to him.
"Why are you up? You should be in bed with me." The Dutchman said sleepily earning himself an adoring smile from Joanna.
"I have a few things to take care of, but we have the whole evening if you want." She told him, before kissing him on the lips, which caused Max to kiss back immediately. His hand reached up to gently allow his thumb to brush over her cheek.
"Okay, but stay safe," Max muttered after another long kiss, before allowing Joanna to pull back. The Austrian dressed with a smile on her lips, before she made her way downstairs and into the grand kitchen where she knew the staff would be this early in the morning.
Entering, Joanna found most of the staff sitting around the table there, talking to each other while drinking some coffee. Everything was a bit sleepy so early in the morning, but the moment they noticed Joanna they all got up from their seats, which caused the Austrian to hold up her hands.
"Please, there is no need for that. Sit back down and enjoy your breakfast." She spoke, while Adrian came over to her, ready to listen to the Lady of the House and ask why she hadn't just rung for one of the maids. It was rare that the Lady of the House came downstairs and frankly, it was quite inappropriate.
"Miss Lauda, how can I help you this morning? I hope everything is to your contentment." Adrian wanted to know, while Joanna's eyes wandered from the people sitting around the table and looking at her in awe and wonder to Adrian. A man she interacted with on a daily basis other than with most of the kitchen staff.
"I noticed... repulsion towards our guest and wondered where it came from," Joanna spoke, which caused the already light shatter to die down completely while Adrian looked at her with wide eyes before bowing his head slightly in apology.
"I apologise greatly for that, we will be better. That kind of behaviour is not worth a House as such, I take full responsibility for it." He told Joanna, but the younger Austrian shook her head.
"I don't want you to apologise. I appreciate each of you greatly and know that such a reaction is never unjustified. I would like to know what caused this reaction." The people around the table were looking at each other shortly, the glance resting on David and Emma the longest which caused Joanna to look at Adrian shortly before she moved over to the table, Stephan the kitchen hand moved up from his chair and pulled the chair back for Joanna, who gave him a grateful smile before sitting down opposite David and Emma.
"What's the matter?" She asked again, which caused David to play with his fingers which were resting on the table while Emma's eyes widened, her gaze on Adrian who was now standing behind Joanna as she reached out to touch David's hand to make him look at her. Looking at Joanna for a moment, David swallowed.
"Miss Lauda, I swear I did not want to make our guest uncomfortable I merely told the others what I've heard. I'm sorry, I know that I shouldn't speak about what I heard while on duty." David apologised while glancing over at Emma shortly. Joanna knew that they were planning on getting engaged soon. Adrian had told her that much.
"What was said that had you so upset?" The Austrian wanted to know, which caused David to look at her again, Emma's hand resting on his shoulder to encourage him but as he still hesitated Joanna spoke again. "Please David, speak freely, you have no reason to worry." She promised truthfully.
"Miss Pia, she asked Mister Verstappen if you have people for everything as I presented her with the ashtray," David admitted and Joanna masked her reaction to hearing that. She expected a throwaway comment about how they lived, so very different from what Pia was used to but Joanna wasn't ashamed of the way she lived. It was her life and her decision to keep up what her family was celebrating for decades already.
"I understand, was that all?" She pressed on, causing David to stall again but this time he spoke up sooner than before. Feeling safe in admitting what he had heard.
"No..." He said. "She said ... and I only repeat it, I do not feel this way, Ma'am. Once spoiled brat always spoiled brat before she asked Mister Verstappen how he could live like this. She said that out of everyone, she would have been most certain that he wouldn't bear such a lifestyle. Mister Verstappen merely answered that it was your house, Miss." David told Joanna before the Austrian pulled her hand from David's and leaned back in her seat to rest her hand on her growing baby belly.
"You took offence for me." Joanna realised which caused David to nod, and the rest of the staff agreed. Well, it was obviously not a clever idea to talk badly about the host in front of the staff, but Joanna hadn't expected them to take offence like this. She wasn't used to such loyalty.
"I thank you all for your honesty. I will take care of it. I nevertheless ask you to not show any hostility towards her, no matter what she says. She's our guest and we treat them well." Joanna addressed them all before she got up from the chair and walked up to the stairs which would lead her upstairs again. Adrian moved to follow her, apologising again for the staff's behaviour, but Joanna lifted her hand to stop him, only to tell him that all was good and that she would like breakfast downstairs today again.
Joanna moved to sit down at the dining table, the Austrian morning press in her hand while she waited for her breakfast to be prepared. Her eyes were wandering over the articles briefly, but her mind was far away.
Pia's words were ill-considered. The words of a moody teenager almost but still just a comment she hadn't thought about for long surely and normally it wouldn't bother Joanna to be called a spoiled brat, frankly she couldn't care less but she hadn't expected such a statement from the Italian, to be honest. Pia was calling her a spoiled brat without knowing anything about her. After all, Joanna thought they were on the way to becoming friends, apparently, she was wrong. Pia always showed unjustified hostility towards her for reasons unknown to Joanna. Sebastian once mentioned that the young Italian had looked up to Joanna as she was a little girl causing Joanna to guess that Pia must have been disappointed with the woman, she met years after.
But the statement that worried or even angered her more was the one about Max. Pia always seemed to believe she knew Max best just because they met at a young age, their fathers considerably close, but since then a lot of things have happened of which the Italian was unaware of.
Joanna did understand that this lifestyle wasn't what Max grew up with, Pia was right in that aspect but neither did Joanna grow up in such an environment which didn't seem to matter to the Italian much at all. He did not betray his roots or lost his hold on reality just because he lived here with Joanna. It would be a lie to say that Joanna did like that Pia came into their home and pretended to know Max so much better than she knew him.
Joanna was so lost in her own thoughts, that she almost didn't notice as Emma put down a cup of tea and a bowl of berries to go with the freshly made scrambled eggs in front of her. Thanking the young Austrian shortly, Joanna gave her a reassuring smile. She could sense that the girl was still a bit shaken after her lover had to admit his wrongdoings to their boss like that.
As the doors got opened it wasn't Max as Joanna had expected but Pia, which caused Joanna to greet her with a small smile on her lips, earning herself a greeting back, while Joanna glanced at Emma, who moved to stand next to Pia, who took a seat opposite from the Austrian.
"What would you like for breakfast, Miss?" Emma asked which caused Joanna to look down at the newspapers again. She knew that Emma was more than capable to do her job without her supervision, so she browsed through the articles to see if there was something interesting happening.
"Breakfast won't be necessary but thank you very much," Pia spoke which caused Emma to glance at David who was waiting at the side table to pour a cup of coffee or tea while Joanna settled the newspaper down. The Austrian didn't understand why Pia was so disinterested in spending about any time with her. Pia would rather eat nothing at all than to eat with Joanna, which was indeed a hard pill to swallow for the Austrian. She had opened her home to the young Italian because Max wanted to offer his friend help and distraction, but since that very moment, the words Pia directed at Joanna were short. As if she was annoyed that spending time with Max ultimately meant bearing Joanna's presence as well.
After the shopping trip together, Joanna thought things were turning for the better, that they maybe really could be friends for Max's sake, but with the Italian's behaviour now, Joanna did not see any possibility for that to happen. Joanna wasn't desperate and she also understood when her presence was wanted and when not. Pia clearly disliked her for whatever reason, which was fine. They did not have to be friends. Joanna would settle for civil behaviour towards each other if that was all the Italian was ready to offer. The Austrian would be able to live with it, but the one thing which will always bother Joanna is Pia's tendency to cause problems where there is no need for them and her tendency to pull her friends down with her should she fall. Joanna wouldn't stand by and watch Pia doing that to Max.
"Maybe just a cup of black tea, please. No milk, no sugar." The Italian said after a moment in which she was thinking. An uncomfortable expression on her face which let the desire to snort raise in Joanna. She was so much surer of herself at Pia's age. A strong and independent woman where the Italian was a mess, but on the other hand, Joanna had never another chance. Breaking wasn't an option, being young and not knowing better was dangerous, and showing weakness would have ended her career. Joanna was born with fuel and steel in her veins, Pia wasn't.
Joanna did not speak up as Pia accepted the cup of tea, so clearly uncomfortable. Her body language was screaming that she was hating all of it and Joanna did understand that the staff was offended by that. They did their damn hardest to please Pia, but she wasn't to be pleased. She watched Pia move onto the balcony to enjoy her cup of tea, and said no word about not being acknowledged with any word since the greeting.
"Seems like we're having breakfast together after all," Max said as he entered the dining room, Joanna was still seated despite the time that had gone by since Pia finished her tea and moved to do some Yoga in the garden which she had watched from her sitting position with a perfect view. The Italian had been speaking to Patrick a bit, one of the gardeners. The Dutchman moved over to stand behind Joanna, his hands resting on the backrest of the chair before he pressed a sweet and short kiss to the top of her head. He seemed to be in a good mood, at least someone, Joanna thought, as she presented Max with a sweet smile while he took the seat next to her.
"Are you alright? You've barely touched your breakfast." Max pointed out, shortly before Emma already served his breakfast and orange juice. Max wasn't a big fan of warm beverages after all. "It's not morning sickness again, is it? I thought that was over."
"That is over as far as I can judge," Joanna spoke. "I've just lost my appetite." She said, before leaning back in her seat, the plate pushed away from her, while she was holding onto the newspaper reading some more articles, while Emma took the plate away swiftly.
"Why that? Did something happen?" Max wanted to know, his hand taking Joanna's and tucking softly, to make the Austrian look at him.
"You could say so." She muttered causing Max's confused expression to deepen.
"What's going on?" He asked, but Joanna didn't answer him. "Hey, if there's a problem, you tell me, and I'll sort it out." Max tried again. His hand gently held Joanna's until the Austrian pulled her hand back.
"I can sort out my own problems. I am an adult, Max." She told Max which caused the Dutchman to huff, before picking up his fork and knife. He knew Joanna long enough to understand that when she had this strange aura, and this look on her face her saying his name like that was a warning.
"Don't take it too seriously, J. Whatever she had done to anger you, it wasn't her intention. Pia is awkward, clumsy with her social interactions when she doesn't know or trust people. The Lauda House must scare her, she surely didn't mean what she said. She doesn't notice her wrongdoings most of the time, especially when she has one of her moods." Max explained as if it was the most natural thing in the world. A woman and her moods.
"If you ever talk about me like that with others, I'm gonna murder you." Stopping his fork mid-air, the Dutchman looked at the mother of his unborn child but before Max could say anything Pia entered the room and the conversation they just had would wait until they would be alone again. The seat next to Max's taken to be hers in a few seconds before she stole a piece of Mango from his fruit bowl.
"Haven't you got your own food?" Max asked annoyed. The Dutchman hated it when someone stole his food but was still smiling slightly. He was glad to see his friend smile again.
"She refused breakfast," Joanna said before Pia could react right as Adrian gave her some papers which would need her attention as soon as possible. The Austrian listened to Max and Pia talking next to her while reading over the tenant report Adrian had written, they were talking about Pia's refusal to eat food which Joanna had noticed before but did not consider to mean anything before. Pia was just about to excuse herself, her hand reaching for the Mango in Max's bowl again but this time the Dutchman swatted her hand away which caused the Italian to giggle and Joanna let out a displeased sound.
If Pia wanted to behave like a child, she couldn't do anything about it, but the staff of this house respected Max and she wanted to keep it that way. Normally Max wouldn't engage in such childishness but with Pia present, Joanna was sure everything was possible, and she did not enjoy that one bit.
"You were saying?" Max started to speak. "I think you threatened to murder me." He was addressing Joanna, who gave him a look before she got up from her seat, the report held in hand.
"Go and entertain your guest, we don't want her to get bored," Joanna said which caused Max to furrow his brows as the Austrian did not stop to kiss Max goodbye.
"Come on. What's the matter?" He called after her, but the Austrian did not answer. She was already through the door which caused Max to huff.
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Enjoying the gentle heat of an early midsummer afternoon, Joanna hid her body in the shadows of a parasol, laying on a sunbed by the outdoor pool. The few days of peace were very much needed after they had to give the interview under which aftermath they still stood and now with Pia visiting. It did not do as much harm as originally presumed, the fans reacted rather well to the unapologizing truth Max told them but that did not change the fact that Joanna was warry. She knew how a crowd worked. Now they loved them, but their love was easily swayed, only to morph into an ugly rage. The Austrian had seen it before which is why she was careful, not to show her face if she could help it. Max felt limited by that, but Joanna did not. There was nothing in her opinion the Lauda House did not offer that they would need in the next few days.
Moving her hand up to pull the sunglasses down from on top of her hair to cover her eyes, her broken arm rested on her growing baby bump now glad in a slim sport cast rather than the massive thing she had been carrying around before giving her back some of her mobility and therefor the use of her fingers back, which honestly felt great. The black material was now only covering her underarm, giving her elbow free again, but leaving her with an arm sling for the larger part of the day. Well, she would still need some time to heal, but at least moving was easier now.
Letting her fingers move over the skin between her breasts to whip away some of the sweat Joanna drummed against her ribcage for a moment, before glancing at Max, who was working out in the distance rather than chilling at the pool despite the heat. Joanna knew what he was doing. The Dutchman tried to temp her after she had been rather cold to him this morning, displeased by his but more Pia's behaviour. Speaking about the Italian, Joanna had no idea where she was. It seemed as if she tried to stay away from not only Joanna but also Max s far as she possibly could manage.
Biting the inside of her cheek, Joanna moved to sit up properly before she reached out for her phone with her good hand only to unlock it and search for a familiar contact before pressing onto it.
Moving the phone to be held in the fingers of her broken arm, Joanna looked at herself before the FaceTime call could connect, causing her to bush up her sunglasses again right at the moment as the man she called picked up, only to look at her warily.
"To be honest, I did not think you would pick up," Joanna told Charles, who snorted while changing the hand which was holding onto the phone. He was clearly moving through his flat at home in Monaco.
"I figured avoiding you would only anger you further." The Monegasque said while Joanna waited for him to take a seat on his bed before he exhaled softly. "I don't want to fuck up anymore." He added which caused Joanna to scan his face. He looked so unbelievably tired.
"Hm." Joanna hummed, which caused Charles to look at her properly. He did not like to hold eye contact while someone was ripping into him for how stupid he was, but other than expected Joanna didn't seem angry, despite her earlier threats.
"I thought you had more to say to what I did," Charles muttered, the shame audible in his voice.
"I do." The Austrian said. "I thought about screaming at you, blaming you but then the anger subsided, and I had a bit of time to think about it. I was young and stupid a while ago as well. I need to apologise to you." She said and Charles didn't quite believe what he heard.
"What?" He spoke over her, causing Joanna to frown.
"Do not interrupt me." She warned him shortly before going on. "It was me who helped you into your Ferrari seat, it was me, who promised Jules I would have an eye on you, and I think it is clear that I failed. I should have guided you more, toughed you how to earn your place. I trusted that you would manage, your natural talent would take care of it sooner or later, but I did know that you struggled. I've sworn to not make the mistake of not seeing that a friend of mine needed help ever again, but I did not succeed."
"I ... I don't know what to say. I did not expect something like that." Charles admitted, the thought of Jules still hurt, but the thought that Joanna saw things this way was unbearable. Her not listening to all his problems or her not telling him everything which was going on in her life would never turn into a situation as with Jules. He needed her to know that.
"I understand, you don't have to say anything, to be honest. I just wanted to make sure you understand that I'm here for you despite your massive fuck up from which you will learn in the future. I will take my role as your friend and mentor more seriously now if you will have me." The Austrian spoke and all Charles could do at the first moment was nod, before he found his voice again.
"Of course. I just... your life is so busy." He pointed out. "I don't mind that you can't give me as much attention as I would have wished for a long time ago. Knowing that I can always come to you is enough Joanna, you don't have to go all out."
"I don't want you ever to think that you are not welcome," Joanna spoke sincerely and she meant it. No matter the time, no matter the situation he would always be welcome in the Lauda House and in her arms should he need a hug.
"I'm sorry for causing problems," Charles admitted while brushing his hand through his hair. "I know I should be better, I want to be better, for Jules, for dad and for you. You are my family as much as he was because you will always be the only one to truly understand." Hearing this from Charles felt good but hurt at the same time.
Joanna was not one for great dramatic moments, well she was, but she didn't like them. Having to talk about her feelings and having to show emotions was largely unpleasant for her.
"Don't." She warned him. "Do it for yourself, do it because you want to, not to satisfy ghosts, Charles. It's your life and I understand that you want to make people proud, but that can't be the only meaning of your life. If it is, what will be left of you once you reach what you've promised?"
"I don't know." The Monegasque admitted. "And that scares me."
"Charles." She then asked her gaze on Max for a moment. She knew he wouldn't approve because Max was definitely on Pia's side in this, but Joanna was never one to hold on to an opinion too stubbornly when there was even the smallest chance that the other side of things would change her view on the situation and with this mess, she believed hearing Charles side was very important. "Why didn't you choose Pia?"
"Honestly?" He asked which caused her to nod. "I don't know. I ... really wanted to, I was even about to tell Charlotte, but then I just couldn't. I know that's not an excuse." He looked so sad, so stumbled upon.
"No, it's not." Joanna agreed. "But it's a reason." She added causing Charles to look into her eyes again. The Austrian was always one to think not to like the rest would.
"Listen, Pia is Seb's adopted daughter and I owe him my life, I will always reach out to help her if she's desperate but at the end of the day if it's her or you. ... I'm on your side Charles. I don't care who you choose as long as it makes you happy." The Austrian said and Charles had to think about how unpleased so many people would be about Joanna taking his side would they ever figure it out but on the other side, he was so fucking thankful. The Austrian was always there to offer her hand in his direst situations of need. She was the one he knew he could follow to the end of the world and she would guide them well. She was a leader and he was unbelievably thankful to be one of the few under her wings.
"I don't know what would make me happy. I was so jealous as she was with Lando but now I just... I pity him." Charles admitted his own shame.
"Honestly, if you think she ever loved him you are even more stupid than him," Joanna told him to his surprise. "I mean I give her credit for trying and maybe she really believed she could love him one day, but that would have never worked."
"You are too honest," Charles muttered. "She has a distaste for you because of that." Yeah, Joanna had learned that much, but she was not offended by people disliking her. It was part of life. She was just bothered by snakes.
"I have friends, I don't need her to force herself to pretend to like me. I don't care." And frankly, she was right, Charles knew that, he just wondered how it did no longer hurt to be disliked by someone.
"How can you be so self-confident? I want everyone to like me."
"You are still so young," Joanna answered him. "It's good you haven't turned to stone just yet, just don't let them harm you."
"Can I ask...were you ever jealous of their friendship? Pia and Max, I mean, were you ever worried?" Joanna didn't answer right away, she looked to the side where Max was still working out, Pia nowhere in sight. Well, no she wasn't worried. She knew with whom Max's heart belonged and it wasn't the Italian.
"They don't see each other like that. Max's the kind of guy who brings hurt animals home to tend to them, he wants his friends to be happy and content, it's one of the most important things to him. Seeing them suffer is awful for Max for he feels helpless and useless. He's beyond loyal. He only wants what's best for her, wants to help her." The Austrian explained before thinking for a moment.
"But something shifted the moment she hurt Lando. He's still her friend and wants what's best for her, but it's suddenly hard for him to give her the support and friendship he normally gives so freely. I think she's noticing it too, or will soon. I'm worried. I don't think he will forgive her for what she did to Lando anytime soon and it frustrates him that he doesn't know how."
"I'm sure she didn't want to cause anyone pain," Charles said even though he kind of agreed but he would never openly say that. He had made enough mistakes as well. He would never judge someone else for it.
"But that is the problem with her, is it not? Pia is taking herself out of the equitation at an early stage every time, so she is not hurting anyone, which leaves a lot of people including herself hurting." Joanna told him and Charles would lie would he say he didn't lay awake that night thinking about what the Austrian had told him.