I stayed in the sitting room after everyone else turned in for the night, thinking about everything. My whole life has been a series of one turn after another. Before I could even think about what I wanted my life to look like, I became Samsara the Cursebreaker and left Atike behind. Merlin and Nimue was there when I needed them most. Mentors, guardians, parent figures. I was a twelve-year-old girl who had to grow up too fast. I experienced more pain in mere moments than a mortal could in years. I sigh in despair at where my train of thoughts have led me. Speaking about them all night has brought on this feeling of... of nostalgia, I think.
It's odd. My connection to Merlin, Nimue and Galahad is different to my familial connection with Gideon and my parents. My blood family are long gone and all I feel is grief for the time lost. Merlin, Nimue and Galahad are somewhere in this broken world, and I have yet to seen them.
I miss them. My parents. My brothers. All of them. I groan in frustration as my own self-pity threatens to swallow me whole. I can't keep this inside any longer. I might explode if I stay here thinking like this.
With a heavy sigh, I leave the sitting room and walk upstairs. The house got quite a while ago, but I never really noticed it until now. The quiet has always held an ominous threat over me, over my village. I was also mostly alone in a drabby cottage. The only thing keeping me company was the feeling of complete and utter loneliness. I had gotten so familiar with that feeling that I had forgotten what it turly was. Tonight, I don't feel that dark foreboding omen. I am at peace-which is strange for me. I walk up the last of the steps and inhale.
I walk all the closed rooms to the one I know he's staying in. I stop at his door and push it open. The room is completely empty except for a small box in the far corner of the room and a bed. "Psst." I shuffle my feet awkwardly as I wait. His sleeping form doesn't stir. I'm not sure he even heard me. I clear my throat and step in. "Rhydian," I whisper-yell at him. "Are you asleep or are you teasing me? I can't really tell." I mumble that last bit to myself. My feet take a few more steps until I'm directly over him. "Gods, this is really creepy," I scrunch my nose and tap his shoulder, "Rhydian." His hand snatched my wrist, pulling me down on top of him. I exclaim in surprise as I toppled down. His hair is messy and wild as if he's been tossing around in his bed.
We laugh with each other until I'm comfortably laying down next to him. Quickly, I fix my hair as I lay my head down. "Hi," I smile at him. Rhydian grins and tucks a few strands of my hair behind my ear. "Hi," he whispers back at me. "I really like what you've done with the place," I joke with him, "You've really opened up the room." He bites a corner of his bottom lip. It draws my attention. "What can I say? I'm an excellent decorator." I hum in response and just lay here in silence. We both just take each other in. In this moment nothing else matters.
Rhydian raises a finger and grazes my face, making random shapes on my skin. He concentrates on the action, mesmerized by what he's doing. Meanwhile, I'm mesmerized by his bright eyes. The way they follow his finger, the way they look at me with such focus.
"I'm sorry." His finger stills as his eyes look up at mine. He doesn't say anything at first. We continue to lay next to each other in the silence. Rhydian's dark hair tickles his nose after each exhale. He needs a haircut. My hands itch to run through his hair. I oddly want to feel how soft his dark strands are. But I don't. I keep my hands tucked underneath my cheek. "Sometimes," I say quietly, "I can't tell whether I'm real or a ghost in the natural world; an outsider looking in." I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. "I wish I could tell you everything, Rhydian, but I don't know what happened in my past. I don't have those kinds of answers for myself so how can I give them to you?" I open them back and find his steady gaze on me; never wavering. "It wouldn't be fair."
To me, to you, and to Draxum. He deserves to hear the whole truth from me and me only. I can't keep storytelling to the others while Draxum is cursed to stone. "I understand," is all he says, and I don't dare push for more. I simply lay on his bed and enjoy the quiet between us. I want to say so many things to him. So many unspoken words flood my mind; words that will stay unspoken for as long as it needs to be. Instead, I get a better idea. "Can I tell you a story?" His eyes light up and nods enthusiastically. I laugh at his face. "Ok," I begin, "Once upon a long, long time ago, there was a young boy who could talk to the wind..."
* * * * *
"Let me show you who your real enemy is." The sky darkens as trees sprout all around us. I walk in circle in wonder. The field of statues that previously stood is now completely transformed to a forest of trees. "Where am I?" I hold my hand out to touch the wood. "You may not remember, but this is the place it all began for you," the voice answers behind me. The leaves rustle with the imaginary wind that flows in between them. "Here?" I ask incredulously, "In the middle of nowhere?" He doesn't answer. My hand goes through the tree. It isn't real. It's an illusion. I step all the way through the bark to the other side. The moonlight shines brightly above me, illuminating the area in its white glow.
I don't understand. I take a step forward and feel something underneath my feet. It doesn't feel normal and, for some reason, I'm unsettled by it. Hesitantly, my eyes move down to ground. At first, I don't see anything odd, but the grass glistens with something dark. My heartbeat increases in panic, and I don't know why. I swallow harshly as my eyes begins to survey the ground closely. Some part of me already knows what's going on, some part of me is begging to stop. That I'm not supposed to see this, and I don't know why. I trail a path through the unknown substance, waking backwards in the process. The ground is seeping with the stuff. I trip unexpectedly and fall to ground, not paying attention to where I was going.
I curse loudly and look for what I tripped on, finding it not far from me. It's dark for me tell what it was for a second, but that was that. It only took that one second. I scream in horror at the torn, bloody arm. I cover my mouth with the palm of my hand as the horror washes over me. My eyes roam over it again and again until a glint of metal from far away catches my eye. "Oh gods," I exclaim in horror. There are torn body parts all over the ground, coating the forest ground in blood and carnage. Bile rushes up my throat as I begin to hyperventilate. "What the hell is this?" My question comes off as a whimper. There are so many bodies here. So many people are deade. "Who would do something like this?"
"She did."
A figure emerges from the shadows, cackling at the scene. "One dead, two dead, three dead, four," she sings with glee, "none could've stopped, none like before." Her cloak covers her face, casting a dark shadow across her face. The cloak looks handmade and delicate. It is decorated with gold embroidery spelling out something that I cannot understand. I look away once the pain in my chest intensified.
"Now, which one of you morons have the sword." She steps onto the carnage she has caused. The action was so cold, so uncaring, and disrespectful towards the dead. I grasp my heart tighter at every word she utters. "Ah, here we go." No, please no. She snatches the sword up from underneath a pile of flesh. The blood stains the blade as if the sword itself massacred these people, whoever they were. I shrink back in fear, sobbing at the sight of the sword in her hand glinting in the moonlight. "S-stop." I shake my head as it all unfolds before my very eyes. This stranger chant a string of words that are inaudible to me. I couldn't see what happens next, but I hear screams erupt from somewhere close and it tears me apart. "Your enemy is her," the voice reaches me, "You will begin to remember soon and you will understand everything that you've seen tonight. The Questing Beast is as much as a victim to her schemes as you were. Remember, Val. Remember who your enemy is."
* * * * *
My eyes slowly blink open. I can't tell if it's morning or night. I'm not entirely sure where I am, either. The dream-or memory-is messing with my mind. Merlin was severely unhelpful on sharing any piece of information. I don't understand what his purpose was in making me relive that tragedy. Especially, seeing it like that. I didn't see the bodies before. Come to think of it, Gideon might've seen it all until I found him. That, alone, upsets me. I can feel the anger rising in my chest. My Fury thrashing in my rib cage demanding to be let out. Let it out, the voice in my mind whispers. No. I shut my eyes as my body strains in control. Let it out, let it out. I breath in and out. LET ME OUT.
NO! The ache leaves my body as I expel my anger and the Fury away. I relax back into the bed and breathe easily. What the hell was that? I've never heard my own thoughts demand something of me before. But was it really my own thought if I didn't explicitly tell myself to let my Fury go? The timing is suspicious too. What are the odds that I catch a fit after having a dream tied to that horrible night? I'll just add it to the long list of mysteries that I have yet to solve about myself.
A hand gently squeezes mine, catching my attention. At some point last night, Rhydian took my hand and placed them in between us. His thumb subconsciously rubs my skin in circles. It makes me smile at the sight. I keep still as I watch him sleep. We've slept together before, but it was on the tough ground and with Draxum between us, but I never noticed how his nose twitch as he sleeps. I'm very tempted to study his face with my fingers, but I don't want to wake him. I look back down at our entwined hands. I've never held a boy's hand in my entire life except for Draxum, but he would force me. He used to plead with his eyes, begging me to hold his hand. I caved in quickly. Thinking of him makes me miss him even more. It reminds me why I am now in this predicament.
A stinging sensation on my wrist catches me by surprise. Careful not to jolt Rhydian's hand, I twist mine at an angle to peer at it. I briefly glimpse at Rhydian as I cautiously lift my head a little. The pain is barely noticeable, almost like a continuous prick of a needle. Over and over again trailing from the bottom of my palm to the top of my wrist. It's barely noticeable, but there it is. I can't begin to describe what it looks like. The only thing that comes to mind is...lava. Lava pouring down into my veins, creating web-like cracks against my porcelain skin. My eyes widen and accidentally jerk my hand up. Rhydian wakes up with a big yawn. I look away when his eyes open and meet mine. I let go of his hand quickly, hiding my wrist from him in the process.
"Morning." He sits up, leaning on his elbows. "How long have you been awake?" I run both of my hands through my hair, taming my appearance as best as I could. "Not long." My fingers massage my wrist slowly and roam my gaze around his room. "What's wrong?" His hand wraps around my wrist. "Val?" My eyes land on the box in the far corner of the room. I ignore his question and ask him one in return. "Are the shards of Ouroboros in that box?" His fingers twist a strand of my red hair and answers, "I had to put it somewhere. I don't know where to put broken magical artifacts." I jolt up from his bed and rush over to the box. It's an old wooden box with a lock that doesn't look like it works anymore. At certain areas, the wood is chipped and molding, it seems. "Where'd you even get this box?"
I crack the lid and look inside. The Ouroboros glass gleams up at me from inside. "From storage, I think." The bed creaks as Rhydian gets up. "Mhm, storage," An idea takes root inside my mind. Whether I use my power now or not, won't matter; I'm already too far gone. "I'm going to take this," I wrap my arms around the small box, "I'll be training with Goosey again today, but I'll be joining you and the others later for physical training." I run out of his room without so much as a backward glance, my hair billowing as I run along.
I have this crazy theory. Well, a concept really. A concept that requires these shards and two sorceress. I run down the stairs, my barefoot feet padding down the step. Hold on. I skid to a halt with the box clutched tightly against my chest. "The house is still asleep." I don't know how I know that, but I do. Everyone is still in bed asleep and none the wiser about challenges I will bring forth today. "Good morrow, fellow knights," I smile mischievously, "Let all the clocks tock as an end to this long night." Simultaneously, all the clocks in the house began chiming, ringing, and everything in between. It's the simplest spell I've done, but it'll do its job just fine. I run out the door in a frenzy. The countdown has started earlier than expected. I'm at a race with Time and he's winning.