Author's Note: I can't believe no one has mentioned that I keep leaving my notes for the chapter idea at the end of each published chapter. I am so sorry for giving small spoilers for this chapter if you saw it, lol. I will try not to do it again.
I have also cut this chapter in half as it was getting pretty long. Let me know if you prefer this, or you don't mind longer chapters.
Several days had past since Seonghwa had come to Jongho. And while the schedule and even the team's atmosphere had slowly begun to turn back to normal, Jongho was extremely conscious that not everything was okay. The two matz hyungs were still concerned about Wooyoung's behavour. Although Wooyoung was not overdoing his diet, he was extremely serious about it. Jongho was glad that it was not affecting his hyung's health, but the fact that he had caused it, was weighing heavily on his conscience. It was this guilt that had now lead him to his hyungs' room, and caused him to knock timidly on the door.
It was going to be over now. He would confess, take his punishment like a man, and apologise profusely to Wooyoung. The door swung open, startling him. He had been so lost in his miserable thoughts that he had not even heard the footsteps approaching from the other side. To his utter dread, it was Hongjoong-hyung.
As he stared into the leader's face, he saw the sharp gaze that looked him over, as if scanning him to find something out of the ordinary. It was a habit Hongjoong had. He didn't mean to intimidate his dongsaengs, but he knew too well that when they came to his room, they were usually about to admit a wrong or because they were upset about something. Well, truthfully it was usually the protective comforting Seonghwa they were seeking, but too bad that he shared the room with Hongjoong. It wasn't without reason that they were known as the dad and the mum of the group, roles that they both seemed to take very seriously.
"Is everything okay, Jongho-ah?" Hongjoong asked, quickly noting the way the maknae had taken a step back and also the way his hands were slightly shaking. Jongho's hands quickly moved behind his back, pulling him to attention. It was a habit, and also a quick giveaway that he felt like he was in trouble or was guilty of something. Jongho seemed to notice the way Hongjoong's eyes had narrowed quickly, and quickly brought his arms back to his side.
"I was just looking for Seonghwa-hyung. Where is he?"
Hongjoong shrugged. "I think he was practicing some song covers. I will tell you you were looking for him when he gets back."
Jongho's heart sank, and he felt his good intentions slowly fading. "No, it's okay, hyung. It wasn't important anyway."
He turned and almost sprinted away, before Hongjoong could ask anymore questions. He could feel the leader's eyes burning into his back as he left. He didn't even know where he was going, until he found himself sitting on the lounge in the living room. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, he buried his face into his hands. His head was pounding, almost in sync with the thumping of his rapid heartbeat. He was terrified. He wasn't sure how his hyungs would react if they found out what he had done. This would be worse than his mistreatment of Yeosang-hyung. Jongho felt like he had committed the gravest sin possible. If the two oldest hyungs didn't kill him, San and Yeosang surely would. They were Wooyoung's closest friends.
A part of Jongho told him was being foolish, but his fear was louder. It tormented him, telling him how horrified his hyungs would be, and how they would be disgusted at his behaviour. He put his hands over his ears, and squeezed his eyes shut. It was because of this that he did not hear the front door open and someone approach him. It wasn't until the couch cushion dipped lightly under someone's weight, that he raised his head and turned to see who had sat by his side.
It was Seonghwa. The eldest hyung gave him a kind smile and put his hand on the maknae's shoulder.
"Hongjoong said you came looking for me. Is everything okay?"
Jongho gazed at him, trying to read his expression. Beneath the masking smile, Jongho caught a glimpse of something else. Seonghwa was suspicious and doubtful, but was hiding it with his calm demeanor. How would he react if he knew the truth? Would he be angry?
Jongho felt his mouth going dry and his throat constricting. He couldn't speak even if he wanted to. He leapt to his feet and disappeared out the door, leaving the stunned Seonghwa quickly behind. Once again, he did not know where his feet were taking him, only that he had to be as far away as possible. Deep down, he knew he was making the situation worse than it already was. But in truth, it was not Seonghwa he was running from, nor was it the punishment that he was trying to avoid. It was himself. That fact that he had so easily opened his mouth and spat out those cruel words terrified him. He didn't want to admit that he had been the cause of Wooyoung's hurt.
He stopped, leaning over with his hands on his knees, as he tried to catch his breath. His loud breaths were the only thing he could sense, as he closed his eyes. As the breaths slowly became steadier, he opened his eyes and looked around. He was at a park of some sort. Thankfully it was empty, because in his wild rush, he hadn't taken a mask or hat with him. He wasn't even wearing a hoodie. Because of this, he went to sit behind a thick clump of bushes. His head was still pounding, so he lay down in the grass and closed his eyes wearily. He must have fallen asleep, because by the time he opened them again, the sky was streaked with orange and the sun was already below the line of tall buildings.
He sat up and glanced at his phone. There were over 20 missed calls from all 7 members, with the majority of them being from Seonghwa and Hongjoong. Gulping, Jongho quickly flung the phone away from him, and shut his eyes tightly. This was like some horrible nightmare, that he could only hope he would soon awake from. But this is all real life, his mind hissed back at him. You can't avoid it.
Sighing, Jongho reached out and grabbed the phone again. He was barely conscious of what he was doing, as his fingers moved of their own accord to press his hyung's contact. He slowly put the phone to his ear and listened to the dreadful sound of it ringing.
"Jongho-ah! Are you okay?"
The desperate tone in Seonghwa's voice almost broke Jongo's heart. "Yes, hyung. I am okay."
There was a muffled sound of voices as Seonghwa relayed this to the other members. Then suddenly a different voice sounded over the phone.
"Choi Jongho, get your ass back to the dorm now!"
Jongho jumped at the sound of his angry leader. "I can't, hyung. I didn't bring a mask."
There was an angry sound of cursing and then arguing voices. Then to Jongho's relief, Seonghwa's calm voice came again. "Don't worry, Jongho. I am coming to get you. Text me your location."
"Thank you, hyung."
The call ended abruptly, making Jongho wonder if it was in Seonghwa's urgent haste, or if his hyung was much angrier than he wanted to let on. He drew his knees up on his chin and wriggled back closer to the bushes. Hongjoong was going to kill him...well...if Seonghwa already didn't plan to anyway. He didn't know how much time had passed, before he heard the sound of footsteps. He peered cautiously around the bush and breathed a sigh of relief as he saw his tall hyung approaching.
Seonghwa said nothing. He simply knelt in front of Jongho and placed the mask across his face, and slipped the cap over his head. Then grabbing Jongho by the arm, he gently but firmly pulled him to his feet. They then headed back to the dorm in silence. As the building finally came in sight, Jongho's feet began to drag.
"Hyung?"
Seonghwa slowed his own pace and glanced at the maknae.
"Hyung," Jongho repeated slowly. "Is Hongjoong-hyung...angry?"
Seonghwa studied him thoughtfully before giving a sigh. "He was livid. He even had to lie to our manager that you were sick and cancel our afternoon schedule, just to cover for you. If we get caught now, the whole team will be in huge trouble."
Jongho felt like he wanted to cry, as the burden of guilt became heavier. He knew there was only one way to finally be rid of the weight. He stopped. "Hyung, it was me. I did it. I said things to Wooyoung that no one should ever have to hear. I was the one who hurt him."
Seonghwa didn't look surprised, just extremely disappointed. "I am glad you finally decided to own up to it, Jongho. When we get back to the dorm, I want you to go straight to my room."
"Yes, hyung," Jongho replied meekly.
They had now reached the dorm. As they entered through the front door, Seonghwa gestured for Jongho to go ahead. Jongho obeyed and headed to his hyung's bedroom. It was empty, causing Jongho to wonder where Hongjoong was. Not really sure what to do with himself, he went and sat on the edge of the bed. He half felt like he should probably go stand in a corner or maybe kneel on the floor, but Seonghwa hadn't given any specific instructions, and right now, Jongho was feeling extremely nauseous. Would Hongjoong use the belt again? Or was there a more painful instrument that was saved for more serious crimes like this?
Some people may not think this was so serious a crime, but Ateez took their teamwork very seriously. Hurting one another was considered the greatest sin to them all. It was because of this that Jongho began to think of creative ways someone could be punished that would be worse than a belt. Did his hyungs have a list written out of punishments that varied in severity? He had heard seniors talk of the cane, but Jongho had never so much as seen one. It was more likely to be found at the company than at the dorm, so if Hongjoong was going to use that, he would have to tell the manager what had happened. And Jongho was thankful to know that was a highly unlikely possibility.
The door opened and Seonghwa entered the room. Jongho stared behind him, waiting for Hongjoong to appear, but Seonghwa quietly closed the door behind him and turned to stare thoughtfully at the startled maknae.
There was a moment of silence as they both faced each other. Than Seonghwa strode forward, grabbed Jongho by the arm, and yanked him to his feet. Then in another swift movement, he took Jongho's seat on the bed and pulled Jongho over his lap. It took a good moment for the realization to settle in, but when it did, Jongho began protesting and trying to push himself back up.
Seonghwa held him down with an iron grip, his left arm folded over the small of Jongho's back as he pressed his whole upper weight into holding the maknae down, and his right leg wrapped over Jongho's kicking legs. They remained like this, until Jongho began to tire, his panicked breathing turning into exhausted panting. Seonghwa could feel how tense the maknae was beneath his hold, and his instincts immediately kicked in. He relaxed his own body, his arm still pressed firmly over Jongho's back, but no longer physically holding him down.
"I think we need to talk first, Jongho-ah," he murmured in a gentle tone.
Jongho shifted uncomfortably. He felt extremely embarrassed in this position, in a way that almost felt entirely unreal. But at the same time, he knew he had to respect his hyung who was in charge of his punishment. "Do we have to talk like this, hyung?" He didn't ask it in a rude way, but was still surprised that he did not anger his hyung with his boldness.
Seonghwa merely shook his head. "No, Jongho. I feel like this will get through to you better. Besides, heaven knows you won't want to get back into position again."
Jongho doubted the first part, but he didn't really doubt the second part. But still...He squeezed his eyes shut, and let out a deep breath. "I'll listen, hyung. I know what I did was really wrong, so I won't fight you."
Hearing the sincerity in his voice, Seonghwa didn't doubt him. He really wanted to trust the maknae, and he knew the maturity he had. With a nod, he gently guided the maknae off his lap and gestured to the floor in front of him.
Jongho didn't hesitate. He knelt on the floor, and sat back on his heels with his hands resting on his thighs and his head bowed.
"Okay, Jongho, tell me first what you said to Wooyoung."
Jongho winced. He knew he would have to say those words, but he still wasn't prepared. He bent his head lower with shame. "I told him he should go on a hiatus and that he was a loud trouble-making...pig." He barely whispered the last word. But glancing up and seeing how Seonghwa's hands had clenched white, Jongho knew he had heard. He fully expected Seonghwa to either strike him then or there, or hand him over to Hongjoong.
Seonghwa however, took a calming breath and relaxed his hands. "Were you going to tell me all this this morning? When you came looking for me, I mean?" When Jongho gave a timid nod, Seonghwa leaned forward to stare at him closer. "Then why did you run, Jongho-ah? It could have all been done with then and there."
Seonghwa sounded more disappointed then angry and it broke Jongho's heart. Tears pricked at the maknae's eyes. "I was ashamed of myself, hyung. I didn't want to believe I had hurt Wooyoung-hyung like that."
Seonghwa nodded, his gentle eyes filled with an understanding that Jongho felt he didn't deserve. "Okay, Jongho. I am not going to punish you with the belt. What you did was horrible, but I can tell you are sincerely sorry about it. Come on, let's get this over and done with."
Jongho looked up hesitantly. "Hyung, I...I think I would rather the belt. Or...or I could just lie over the bed."
Seonghwa's mouth seemed to twitch with amusement, but he managed to pull a frown. "Jongho," he said in a grave tone. "Calling others names and running away, what does that sound like?"
Jongho knew what he was getting at. "It sounds like a child, sir."
Seonghwa was a little taken aback by the sudden formality, but he also knew it meant he was finally getting to the maknae. He didn't even need to say another word, for Jongho had risen to his feet and nervously stepped closer. Giving him a small nod of praise, Seonghwa took his arm and gently guided him back over his lap.
"You must also remember, Jongho-ah, that it is the hyung who is in charge, not you. If you feel we are treating you in a very unfair way, we can discuss it, but it is also part of the punishment that you submit to and respect us. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," was the muffled reply.
"Okay, we can begin then."