In hindsight, you weren't sure whether telling the boys about you taking contraceptives from now on had been such a good idea. Hyunjin seemed to be the only one who could keep his cool. The others, however...
During dinner, you kept catching their eyes as they stared at you nervously before they'd quickly look away when they'd realise you had caught them staring. They were also a lot more quiet than usual, not seeming to know what they could talk about anymore, their conversations dying as quickly as they tried to start them.
Especially Changbin was acting more unusual than the others. The following days he kept hovering around you like some sort of bodyguard, looking suspicious whenever one of the others started a conversation with you or hugged or kissed you as a greeting or goodbye. He kept sending others to bed early and asking you if you didn't have any homework you should be doing back in your room.
After three days you already felt like you were going insane. Changbin's behaviour had made sure you had talked to the guys very little in the past few days and they had barely even touched you lately. Never before had you realised how much their physical affection and touch meant to you until you started to feel deprived and needy.
'So because of him, I barely get to see, touch or talk to the person I like anymore,' you complained over the phone to Adam.
'I thought you were going to congratulate me on my release from the hospital, but I should've known better,' Adam laughed.
'Oh, fuck, shit, oh, Adam, I'm so sorry, I forgot,' you said embarrassed.
'Y/n, dude, it's fine,' he chuckled. 'I can tell this was really bothering you and you needed to get it off your chest,' he said compassionately. 'But why don't you talk to your roommate? Tell him you don't need his protection,'
'Protection?' you said confused.
'Yeah, he's protecting you, y/n,' Adam said in a knowledgeable tone. 'To be honest I did a similar thing with my sister. He's probably just afraid you'll get hurt or something. He wants to keep you close, keep you safe,' he explained.
'...like a sister,' you repeated, feeling your heart breaking.
'That or he's madly in love with you and hates the idea of you sleeping with someone else.' Adam chuckled. 'But honestly, just talk to the guy. You have a good bond with him, right? Oh, I gotta go, my parents are here to pick me up. See you at school tomorrow!'
There was a dialling tone and the line ended.
You thought for a while about what Adam had said. Was it true? Did Changbin want to protect you? Or was he jealous? But that seemed so unlike him...
'Binnie,' you said his name hesitantly as you knocked on the door to his room that night.
'Come in,' he called out from the other side. You opened the door and went inside. As expected, he was working out in the corner of his room. He was using the lifting machine, pressing the bar down with his arms as the weights in the back went up.
'Binnie, can we talk?' You asked hesitantly.
'Sure baby, what's up?' he asked as he let go of the bar and got up from his seat.
You quickly grabbed the towel that he had already put on his bed to wipe his forehead with. But as you reached out for him, his face suddenly seemed startled and he took a step back.
You lowered your arm with the towel.
'What's wrong?' you asked worriedly.
'Nothing,' he said quickly, his face bearing a smile that did not reach his eyes. He stuck out his hand for you to give him the towel and you handed it to him awkwardly. He grabbed it by the tip as if he was trying to make sure you wouldn't touch him. 'Thanks,' he said with a smile, dabbing his forehead. 'So, what was it you wanted to talk about?' he asked calmly.
You sat down on his bed but he stayed standing a few paces away from you.
'This,' you said, gesturing with your hand at the space between the two of you. 'You've been acting weird the past few days, Binnie, sending me and the others to our rooms, barely touching me, hovering around me all the time... What's going on?' you asked.
'Nothing, it's just you guys need to sleep more, and you should probably focus on school more,' he shrugged, evasive.
'That's bullshit and you know it, Bin,' you said, shaking your head stubbornly. 'Please, come sit with me,' you asked, patting the sheets next to you.
Changbin came to sit next to you, just far enough away so you wouldn't touch, something he didn't use to do at all before. Changbin loved touching you and the others, and he'd never missed an opportunity to do so before.
'Give me your hand,' you requested, sticking out your own to receive his. Changbin's face was flat, his jaw slightly tense as he slowly stuck his hand out for you, but just before you could touch him he balled it into a fist and pulled it back.
'Sorry, I can't,' he said. His voice sounded defeated and his face looked like he was in pain.
'What's going on, Binnie? Please, tell me,' you couldn't mask the desperation in your voice and he looked up at you. His reddish-brown eyes locked with yours.
'I...I'm scared,' he whispered, finally giving in.
'Why?' you whispered back.
'I... I'm scared that... that I'll burn you,' he admitted, his jaw tensing again.
'What? Why?' you asked, confused. He bit his lip, looking at you embarrassed before he looked away, closing his eyes in pain.
'I'm afraid I won't be able to control myself, my powers,' he said softly.
'Why? I mean, you've never burned me before. What changed?' you asked, not understanding.
Changbin frowned painfully, still not looking at you.
'You're... well, we don't know what you are for sure, but there is still a chance you might be human, y/n. At least partially,' he began. 'We, us gods, we heal quickly and pain isn't as bad for us as for you. If I'd burn you... I could never forgive myself,'
'But why would you burn me?' you repeated, still not getting it. Changbin looked at you, his expression tortured.
'Because I'm afraid I might lose control,' he admitted. 'Y/n, you're driving me insane already, I can't stop thinking about that night you slept with me and I keep wanting to touch you and kiss you. So far, I was able to keep my head quite cool, thanks to the others, but you telling us you're taking contraceptives now... Like, you're basically telling me you want to get fucked,' he spoke crudely, making you blush. 'And god, how much I want that, you have no idea, but what if I mess up, right? What if I lose control and burn you by accident? The idea of hurting you is just...' he spoke, shaking his head as he pressed his lips together.
You were quiet for a while, thinking, taking in what he had said.
'Have you ever burned anyone before?' you asked. Changbin shook his head. 'Have you ever lost control before?' He shook his head again. 'Not even... not even when you had sex?' you whispered. Changbin swallowed but then shook his head once more. 'Then why would I be any different?'
'Because,' he said, almost sounding annoyed, 'you're special, y/n. I've never loved anyone so deeply, so strongly before. None of us have.' His words made you blush and warmed your heart.
'Changbin, give me your hand,' you whispered. Changbin furiously shook his head, but you kept your hand outstretched towards him, looking him dead in his red eyes, not giving up on him. It took him a minute or so before he finally reached a shaking hand out to you. Very carefully, like he could break you upon touching, his index finger touched the palm of your hand. You smiled and closed both your hands around his, making him look up, startled. He felt hot in your hands like he always did. Your personal radiator.
'You don't burn me, Binnie,' you said, smiling softly at him. 'You never had and you never will. Nor will the others hurt me either,' you spoke, intertwining your fingers with his. 'You are Gods of great power. You have never had any problems controlling it and you won't have it with me. Whatever it is we do or feel, you will never hurt me,' you said confidently.
Changbin still looked unsure.
'You don't have to be afraid, because you never were before. In situations of life and death, you have never lost control. You have never accidentally set fire to anything, ever. I've never even been uncomfortable with your body heat because you always notice whenever I get too hot and you lower it for me instantly, even when we're asleep.'
Changbin pressed his lips together again.
'Binnie, you're a firefighter for god's sake,' you couldn't help but giggle slightly. 'You save lives every day, you save people from getting burned. That is amazing. The God of Fire is saving people's lives,' you pressed on. Changbin's ears and cheeks were slightly colouring and the corner of his mouth started to pull upwards a bit. You grabbed his other hand, startling him slightly before he succumbed to it and let you intertwine the fingers of your other hand with his too.
'To me, you're not a god of destruction or hurt or loss, no. To me, you're a God of warmth, love and cuddles. And I bet to those people out there that you help, you're the God of saviour, salvation, a new start, a new chance. To them, you're an angel, Binnie.'
Changbin smirked sheepishly as he looked at you, the smile finally reaching his eyes.
'You're special, Bin. You're amazing. Please, don't be afraid. We'll be fine,' you assured him. Changbin smiled at you and you could see his chest rising and falling with a deep breath before he nodded.
'You're right, I've been acting stupid,' he said, looking slightly embarrassed.
'Hug please?' you asked with a pout and Changbin grinned at you broadly before pulling you into a big bear hug.
Later that evening when you were working on finishing the last bits of your essay, you were startled by a loud bang coming from somewhere inside the house. The lights popped and went out, rendering your room in complete darkness, and you let out a yelp in fear.
A loud gust of wind sounded and you heard someone stumbling and three voices groaning and complaining.
'OUCH! That's my foot!' Felix grunted.
'Bin, get off me!' Chan groaned.
'Sorry,' Changbin whispered. There was a soft thud and another swear.
'Y/n, where are you?' Shit, I should've brought my phone,' Chan swore.
'I'm at my desk, please don't step on me!' you said quickly when you heard them rushing over and quickly pulled in your feet.
'I got my phone!' Changbin said hastily and suddenly there was a light of his flashlight, shining in your face. You could see their figures standing just beside your bed.
'I'll kill Seungmin,' Chan growled annoyed. 'Felix, can you help y/n? Bin, can you lead the way?' he instructed the other two. You could see them nod in the darkness, and without warning, you were swooped out of your seat, picked up princess style by Felix.
'I can walk just fine, you know,' you protested.
'I just wanna be safe,' Felix said, his voice sounding slightly playful. You couldn't help but giggle and agreed to let him carry you.
Changbin led the way out of your room into the dark hallway, followed by Chan and then Felix and you. A door opened.
'Changbin?' Minho's voice came from Han's room.
'Yes, was it you?' Changbin asked quickly, shining his flashlight into Minho's face. Minho was standing in the doorway with Han on his back, who looked startled.
'No man, but I bet Seungmin has been testing his abilities again. I'mma kill the guy, we were just at the final level of the game,' he scowled.
'Let's go find him,' Chan said and Minho nodded as he left the room, still carrying a silent, startled Han on his back.
But Seungmin wasn't in his room.
'Basement?' Minho asked.
'Fuck it, I'll call him,' Changbin said, dialling Seungmin's number with his free hand and putting it on speaker. You could all hear the dial tone as he called.
'Yo, what's up?' Seungmin's voice came through the phone.
'Where are you?' Chan asked, annoyed.
'In the car on my way back home still, traffic has been crazy tonight,' Seungmin said irritably.
'Wait, you're not home yet?' Changbin said, surprised.
'Uhm, no?' Seungmin replied, confused. 'Why, what's-' but Changbin cut him off by ending the call.
'Then how?' Han whispered.
'Let's just go find Hyunjin and Jeongin. Maybe they know more,' Chan suggested. You left Seungmin's room and walking behind each other like a train, Chanbin in the front with his phone flashlight, you all made your way to Jeongin's room.
'Innie?' Chan asked, knocking on the door.
'It wasn't me I swear!' Jeongin's voice came from his room. You heard some footsteps before the door opened. 'I was just gaming, alright, it wasn't me,' Jeongin said, opening the door.
'Of course it wasn't you, it couldn't be,' Chan said simply.
'Oh, right,' Jeongin said, blinking as Changbin held the flashlight up to his face. 'I bet it was Seungmin tho,' Jeongin suggested.
'Can't be, since he's not home yet,' Chan replied, shaking his head.
There was a loud stumble and a thud before a voice started swearing loudly in the room next to Jeongins'.
'Jinnie,' Chan and Minho said with a sigh at the same time. You made your way to Hyunjin's room and Chan knocked.
'Jinnie, you alright?' Chan asked worriedly. Felix finally put you down on your own feet.
There was some loud incoherent swearing and growling at the other side of the door before it finally opened. Changbin held his light up to Hyunjin's face. His face was angry and shocked at the same time, his hair soaked and his bathrobe was hanging half open, revealing much of his smooth chest. A weird smell came out of his room.
'Oh, thank god you're here,' he sighed thankfully as he saw all your faces. 'I dropped my curling iron in the sink when it was still full of water. Fucking thing damn near exploded and gave me a heart attack. I wanted to unplug the thing but all the lights went out and I didn't have my phone with me. I've been searching for it all this time but-' Hyunjin cried.
Chan growled, annoyed.
'Let us in, we'll fix it. Y/n, I think it's safer to stay here for a little. Jeongin?' Chan said with a nod. Han jumped from Minho's back and got his own phone out of his pocket to shine more light.
'You know, you could've done that before,' Felix said, shaking his head.
'Yea, I could've,' Han said with a shrug.
Chan, Changbin, Jeognin and Han entered the room. Hyunjin, Felix, Minho and you waited at the entrance.
'Are you alright, tho?' Felix asked Hyunjin.
'Other than that an expensive curling iron has just died, yeah, I'm fine,' Hyunjin replied with a nod and a deep breath. He did seem slightly shaken by the event. Even in the dark, you could see how his face was paler than usual.
About five minutes later, the four guys returned. Jeongin handed Hyunjin his phone and he instantly used it as a flashlight to be able to see more. Changbin was holding the dripping and smoking curling iron.
'Hyunjin, please don't use any electrical items near water anymore,' Chan said calmly but his voice sounded slightly restrained.
'But what are we going to do about the blackout?' you asked quickly.
'I'll guess we'll have to wait for Seungmin to come home and fix it,' Chan replied with a sigh.
'Good thing he has those electrical powers now!' Jeongin said cheerfully.
'How about we wait in the living room? Maybe we can light some candles,' Felix suggested. You all agreed and made your way downstairs.
'Y/n, where did you put the candles?' Felix asked as soon as you arrived.
'Erm,' you said, thinking for a moment, 'I think the bottom drawer of the most left cabinet. Be careful not to trip!' you warned as Felix's dark silhouette moved away from you.
'Careful with the step-down,' Changbin said as he guided you to the couch. You both took the step down and you heard a thud. Changbin swore.
'Shit, dropped my phone,' he muttered. You could see the phone on the floor, the flash shining upwards.
'Erm... Binnie?' Hyunjin said, unsure.
'What?' Changbin asked, bending down to pick up his phone.
'Dude, your hand,' Hyujin pointed out.
You looked at Changbins free hand and your jaw dropped.
Even though Changbin wasn't holding his phone anymore, there was a light in his hand, similar to that of the flashlight on his phone.
'What the-,' Minho whispered.
'What?' Felix called out from the corner of the room
'Erm, Changbin has discovered his new power!' Han called out to Felix excitedly.
Changbin stared at his hand, utterly surprised. He turned his hand and the light stayed in his palm.
'Can you do anything with it?' Han asked excitedly.
'What is it?' Felix asked curiously, running back with a box in his hands.
'I-I don't know?' Changbin said with a huff.
'Try with both hands,' you suggested excitedly. Changbin put the broken curling iron he was still holding down and put up his other hand. Instantly it lit up as well.
'Sick,' Minho said simply. Felix whistled, impressed.
'Do you think you can light up the room with that?' Chan asked practically.
'Erm,' Changbin said, the light from his palms lighting up his face which looked thoughtful. Suddenly, the light rose from his hands, like a little orb, up into the air where it floated just underneath the broken lamp.
'Wow,' Hyunjin breathed out the word.
Another light orb came from Changbin's hand and floated up to the other lamp, hanging just under it as its replacement. The orbs kept appearing from his hands until all lamps were replaced by his lights, lighting the room warmly and making you all able to see again.
'Well, guess I don't need these anymore,' Felix said with a chuckle, shaking the box with tealights.
Changbin looked at the orbs in awe like he still couldn't believe he had just done that.
Han walked over to one of the orbs, jumping and flinging his arm like it was a tennis racket and he wanted to smack the orb out of the air. But he went straight through it, the orb unaffected. Han pouted disappointedly.
'Can you touch it?' you asked curiously. Changbin produced another light orb in the palm of his hand. He carefully brought his index finger and thumb towards the orb as if he was going to pick it up.
You held your breath as you watched.
It worked. Changbin picked up the orb between his two fingers and held it up in front of him.
'Ah, not fair,' Han sulked.
As the group of you waited for Seungmin to come home, Changbin played with the light orbs, making them appear and disappear. It seemed like they had to come from his hands to shine, but didn't have to return to him to disappear. He let them float across the room and produced them in different sizes. Some small, some large, some nothing more than a pinprick. He could even produce them in different colours, eventually resulting in what looked like a fireworks display, before the front door opened and closed.
'I'm home!' Seungmin's voice called out. 'Oh, the light in the hall is busted guys,' he remarked.
He walked into the living room and his bag slipped out of his hand when he saw the orbs dancing around under the ceiling.
'Hi, Minnie!' Changbin greeted him with a big smirk. 'You missed a bit.'