I rubbed my eyes, the sun blinding as I blinked them open. Harry was lying on my chest, a dead weight. He had my shirt fisted in his left hand, the right one under the pillow I was using.
I don't even remember coming in here last night, but somehow I did. All I can remember is drinking at the back of Harry's car, and then burgers, burgers, burgers.
After that, I have no recollection.
I looked down at my sleeping boyfriend, and brought a hand to his hair, gently running it through the softness of his curls.
He stirred quietly, tilting his head up to look at me, "Hey baby."
"Hi," I smiled down at him, rubbing my other hand over my face as I let out a long groan. "How much did I have to drink last night?"
"Quite a lot," he giggled, making my heart melt. "More than I did, and I feel like shit."
"Damnit," I huffed. "I think today I'm content with just staying in this tent."
"I'm okay with that," he chuckles before letting out a small whine. "My head is killing."
"I thought you don't get hangovers," I attempted a laugh but ended up cringing at the pain.
"I don't usually mix that many different drinks."
"What all did we have?"
"You had a lot of those apple shots, then started drinking from the bottle of wine."
"Oh god."
"Yeah; and then you and I finished off a bottle of rum."
"Shit."
"I must say, I'm impressed with your drinking skills, Charli," he shifted himself to lie next to me, smiling widely at me as his arm pulled me closer. "I don't know the last time I've had that much fun. Thank you baby."
"No, no. Don't thank me," I groaned loudly.
"Do you remember what happened last night?" he asks quietly, absentmindedly picking at a loose string on the blankets seam.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean with us and Zayn," he spoke flatly. "Because I..."
"What happened with Zayn? What did I do?" I asked, terrified to hear his answer. "Oh gosh, what did I do with Zayn? I'm so sorry Harry. I didn't- you don't-"
"Baby, you didn't do anything wrong. It was him," he assured. His hand came up and traced along my face, making me sigh in content.
"What happened?" my eyes were shut and I leaned into his touch more, loving the way I feel when I'm with him. It makes me feel at home, and truly at peace. I don't need to worry about feeling scared, or sad. I can just be happy. I truly enjoy being with him.
"Did you hear me?" his voice called out, pulling me from my thoughts on him.
"Sorry, no. I was just thinking..."
"Oh," he chuckled softly, closing his eyes. "I just said that if you didn't remember, I wasn't sure if I wanted you to know. It was bad. Really bad..."
"Tell me, please," I begged. "How bad could it be?"
"Honestly, extremely bad love," he mumbled, opening his eyes and meeting mine. "You're sure you want to know?"
"Yes... but you're scaring me."
"Baby, I'm sorry," he leaned in for a quick kiss. My hands were enveloped in his evidently larger ones, and he had them palm up, tracing along the creases in my hands. "But he basically admitted that... sleeping with you was a game."
I pulled back from him slightly, in complete shock. My jaw dropped open, "He what?"
"I don't know. It made me so angry when he asked if I was mad that he took what I couldn't get. He asked if I was mad that he won, baby. As if you were a game."
A wave of nausea blew over me, and I quickly sat up straighter, wincing at the pain. "No. I don't believe that."
"I wouldn't lie about that. I hate him and everything, but I could never make up something that bad about you. I would never make up anything about you, love."
I closed my eyes and sighed, "This can't be true..."
"I'm sorry, Char baby. I wanted to wring his neck when he said that, but I had to hold you back from doing it yourself," he looked at me with a face full of pain. "You're quite strong."
"I'm going to be sick," I jumped up and hurriedly unzipped the tent. He moved to follow me but I gent held a hand up, blocking him from following. "Stay here. I don't want to be around anyone right now."
"Baby-"
"Harry, just stop. Stay here and don't fucking follow me," I hissed.
He nodded regretfully before allowing me to slip out of the tent, unaccompanied. I took off towards the beach, and stopped at the water edge. My body was fighting back the urge to expel the contents of my stomach. It was short lived, and I quickly hunched over and let it go.
I plopped down on my knees in the sand a few feet away, dipping my hands in the water and wiping my mouth off.
I'm so disgusted by what happened last night. I don't remember the conversation. I don't really remember anything after I started doing the shots at the back of the car.
I remember on the way back from town Perrie was telling me she had slept with Zayn years ago, but I didn't know it spiraled from that, to him using me.
Harry said that Zayn asked if he was mad that he won. Won what? I'm not a game you can just play with. It makes me sick to think that we were only intimate because of this. I hunched over again, feeling another wave of nausea hit me.
Why me? Why did this shit have to happen to me? Why does this shit have to happen period? The fact that some people have the audacity to do this to other people disgusts me.
A loud noise pulled me from my actions, and I turned around to see Zayn standing by his car. I jumped up from my spot and rushed up the pathway, making my way hurriedly to his standing figure.
"How fucking dare you!"
"Excuse me?" he turned and stared at me, amusement plastered on his face.
"I can't believe how fucking selfish you are. I'm not a fucking game, Zayn. What was going through your mind that would tell you how you acted was right? How could you think that taking my virginity was just for fun? !" I questioned, stepping closer and pressing a finger against his chest. "How could you go and do that to me? I wanted to give that to someone special, and the fact that you didn't give me that option disgusts me!"
He shrugged and turned around to walk away, being stopped by my hand grabbing his elbow. "We're not fucking done here."
"You may not be, but I am," he smirked deviously. "So run along Charli, can't have you leaving your new boyfriend waiting. Heaven knows he's waited long enough-"
I cut him short with a hard punch to his jaw. He jumped back, bringing a hand up to his presumably now throbbing face.
"You bitch," he hissed, rubbing his fingers across his jawline.
"I'm far from it," I glared at him, shaking my now throbbing hand. "I gave everything to you, Zayn. Everything! Do you know how hard it is to hear about how everything I was invested in for the last few years was just a joke? How I feel like I wasted so much time with you, when I could've been with someone who cares about me more than they care about themselves?"
"What, like Harry? Really?" he scoffed. "That's a joke."
"How is that a joke?" I spoke up defensively. "You have no clue what our relationship is like, Zayn. You have no clue what we've been through."
"The guy is a moron, Charli."
"He's far from it. I think you're just jealous, because he actually cares about me."
"I care about you," he sighs loudly, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "I still do."
"Bullshit!" I shout, turning around to head back to the tent before I do something I really regret. More than talking to him right now.
"Charli, you know that's true. You know I'm not lying," his hand was placed on my shoulder, spinning me around to face him. "I miss you."
I scoffed and shrugged him off, stepping backwards from him. He took a step closer, too close, and brought his hand up to my face.
I immediately shoved him away and cringed, "Stop it."
"I made a terrible mistake letting you go, Charli," he whispered and pulled me against his chest.
I squirmed under his touch, "Get away from me!"
"I know you still have feelings for me," he had a sly smile on his face as he brought his hand back up to my face. "You miss me, I can tell."
"Fucking get away from me!" I shout, punching at his chest. He stood still, not flinching at my hits. "Let me go!"
"I'll never let you go, you'll always be mine," he sighed and leaned down, dipping his face closer towards me. "I love you."
"Get the fuck off of me!" I shout one more time, continuing to struggle in his grip. His lips came down and pressed against mine roughly, making me cringe.
"Baby? What's wrong?" Harry's voice asked worriedly. The zipping of a tent was heard as I continued to try and shove him off of me. He didn't budge when Harry shout at him to get off, he just kept attempting to kiss me.
"Zayn, get the fuck off of me!" I shout, as I managed to free my face from his grip. I brought a knee up to his groin harshly, feeling his hands drop away from me instantly.
"Let her go, Zayn!" Harry shouted.
"Fuck, Charli!" he groaned. "What did you do that for?"
"You Zayn, are the worlds biggest dick!"
"You mean I have the worlds biggest dick-"
"I haven't seen that many, but I can guarantee you that that's not true. You're no bigger than a child," I chuckle to myself, suddenly feeling confident. So I take a step closer to him, watching his eyes slightly narrow. "You're nothing but an ass."
A pair of hands instantly wrapped around my waist and pulled me backwards into their chest. The scent of Harry overwhelmed my senses, and I burst out in tears once again.
"What the fuck?" he growled at my psychotic ex. "Why the fuck would you touch her?"
"You don't deserve her, Harry!" Zayn shout, stepping closer to us. "She belongs to me!"
Harry pulled me behind his back, and I cowered into him, my arms wrapping tightly around his torso.
"She doesn't belong to you. She's not a pet or a piece of property you can just own, she's a human, Zayn," Harry seethes. "No one owns her. She is her own person."
I'm somewhat surprised that this commotion hasn't warranted anyone to come out of their tents wondering what's happening.
"Didn't stop me from claiming her before," he laughs maniacally, looking up at me through hooded eyes. "I deserve her."
"You never deserved her. We talked about this last night, Zayn. You were supposed to be gone already. It's already after noon," Harry spoke slowly, cautiously. "Now, pack your shit up, because I'm not going to deal with you anymore. You've ruined her twice already, Zayn. I'm not going to allow you to do it a third time."
"I don't have to listen to anything you say, Haz. I'm staying."
"Stay the fuck away from us then. I don't want to ruin this trip for Perrie, so you can stay otherwise we won't have enough car room to get home. But if you so much as lay one finger on Charli again, if you try to force her to kiss you again, I swear to God, Zayn," Harry hissed. "I swear to God that I won't hesitate to beat the living shit out of you."
"Doubtful."
"Don't test me," Harry hisses, gently placing his hands on top of mine which are splayed across his stomach. "You know I care about her more than you ever could, so what would stop me from protecting her with everything I have."
"You can't protect her against anything. You let her go before, who's to say you won't do it again."
"I had no choice. You threatened me before to stay away. I was young and stupid then, but now I'm not so naive. I can stand up for myself because I'm not scared of you anymore. I'm more of a man than you'll ever be, and I'm not worried about having to prove it to you. I love her with all of my heart, and I won't ever stop showing her that. what I feel for her is real, unlike what you faked for her. I'm not doing this for shits and giggles, Zayn. I'm doing this because she has gone through so much in the past few years that if one more thing goes wrong in her life, I'm scared that she'll be officially broken.
"You had no right to do what you did to her, but she broke up with you the moment she found out you betrayed her. You need to realize this. You do not and will not have anything to do with her as long as she's in my life. She's fragile, and you just want to walk all over her. I won't let you do that. Stay the fuck away from her or you'll be getting a nice visit from Brooke's father. Dvo you understand?"
Zayn's footsteps were heard as he stomped off, mumbling something incoherent to himself.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked, turning around in my arms. His hands came up and caressed my cheeks, tilting my head up to look at him. The tears had slowed down, and were now only trickling out of my eyes. "Baby?"
I pulled him closer, resting my head back on his chest, "I was so scared, Harry."
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here," he hushed, holding onto me tightly. "I won't let anything happen to you. I've got you."
"He would- wouldn't let me g- go," I whimpered. "He- he forced me..."
"Baby, shh. Let's go back into the tent. Shh," he hushed and led me into the small living area we had taken over. "Let's just sleep."
"Harry..." I curled up with my head in the crook of his neck, taking a fistful of his shirt and sobbing into his chest.
"Just get some sleep please," he sighed, and moved his hand to my head, gently running his fingers through my hair, making me hum slightly in approval.
I turned my head to see him with a small smile on his lips. I caught myself staring at them, but knew that I couldn't help myself. I've never wanted anything so badly in my life before.
"You're staring at me," he mumbled. "Stop it."
"Not possible."
He opened one eye to peek at me, before closing it again. He brought his arms tighter around me and pulled me closer against his chest, "Baby, go to sleep."
"I don't want to. I just want to take you in, all of you."
He chuckled slightly, his body slightly shaking against me, "I can't sleep with you watching me."
"Don't sleep then, Harry."
"I'm so tired, love; lets just have at least one hour," he begged, sticking his lower lip out like a child. "Please."
"Fine. But can you do me a favour first?" I ask, hoping that my request won't be too strange.
"Anything."
"Please take your shirt off. I need to just relax, and your heartbeat seems to do just that for me."
He says nothing, just simply sits up and pulls the fabric over his head, before lying back down, pulling me against him. My cheek rests on his now bare chest, and the faint thump thump from inside his body starts slowly lulling me into a sleep.
"Harry... Just one more thing."
"Yeah, baby?"
"Did he really threaten you before?" I asked cautiously.
"Mhm. He told me I better back off, and that I needed to stay away, because you two were getting serious."
"Harry, that's ridiculous! I can't believe him."
"He knew how much I liked you, and he didn't want me getting in the way of you two. I felt bad, because I just dropped you. I ruined our friendship because I was scared he would hurt me. But in reality, I only hurt myself," he shrugged. "But he can't keep me away from you, ever again. I'll be the one to keep him away from you, I promise you that."
I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his neck, before nuzzling back into his chest and closing my eyes. I inhaled his scent deeply, smiling to myself with realization of how much I need him. I felt myself drifting off into a much-needed sleep, with the guy I'm falling in love with.
I know that with these feelings growing for Harry, that it's definitely love I'm feeling. I am one hundred percent confident my feelings for him are true, and they're not just here to shadow what I had with Zayn.
---
When I woke up, Harry was seated at the foot of the mattress, strumming his guitar. I rolled over onto my stomach, facing away from him to hide from his view so I could lay and listen to him. I shoved my hands under the pillow to prop my head up slightly.
He sang quietly to himself, pausing in between words here and there, the sound of a pen scratching on paper heard between the gaps.
We're only getting older, baby, and I been thinking about it lately, does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes?
He sang quietly, obviously not wanting to wake me. I can't get over how he hid this talent from me. He was in a band when we met; and he just casually forgot to mention it? I don't know why, he has real talent.
For the little while I laid silently listening to him. About an hour later he huffed and put the guitar down, and laid down beside me with an arm slung across my back.
"I know you're awake, love," he chuckled quietly into my ear. "You always stir in your sleep, and you haven't moved in a while."
I lay silently, cursing myself for not realizing that he pretty much knows everything about me, even down to my sleeping habits.
"Charli, baby, get up," he cooed. I shifted slightly when he started feathering kisses along my neck. "See, I know you're up."
"Harry," I whispered, so quietly it was barely audible. "Sleep."
"Good morning, princess," he whispered back.
"Ew that's creepy."
His loud laughter filled the tent, "I knew I could get you to talk."
"No princess," I mumbled turning my head to face him. "Too weird."
"I can call you anything I want, cupcake," he was smiling when I opened my eyes. "Cutie patootie. Doll face. Angel. Sweetheart."
"Enough, Harry."
"Sunshine. Darling. Pumpkin," he bit his lip, trying to think of more. "Honey buns. Sweetie pie. Kitten-"
"Harry!" I groaned loudly, shoving him slightly. "Stop being so weird!"
A fit of laughter came from him, before he caught my hand and slung it around his back.
"How long have you been thinking of those?" I asked with curiosity. "You spewed them out like a machine."
"It comes naturally with you," he murmured, closing the small gap between us. "Just all these things I've had the urge to call you."
"You wanted to call me kitten?" I gave him a disgusted look.
"Only last night when you were being feisty. I don't know what it was but I just had this urge-"
"Keep that urge to yourself," I mumbled with a short laugh. "Because that one is not acceptable."
"But the rest are okay?" he bit his lip in anticipation, a small smirk forming.
"Can't you just call me my name like everyone else does?" I questioned, gently trailing my hand down his spine.
"I don't want to do what everyone else does, baby. Everyone else isn't your boyfriend," he smiled widely, his dimples on full display. "I just want to be cute."
"Harry, you're cute. You're so fucking cute it hurts sometimes," I giggle. "But you don't need some lame pet name for me just because."
"But-"
"Just love me," I sighed and placed a light kiss on his lips. "That's all I can ask."
"You already know I do, more than you can even imagine," he sighed.
I lay still for a few minutes, simply just taking him in. My hand came up and gently caressed his cheek, a few days worth of stubble tickling my palm.
I don't want to think about what my life would be like without him, but I have to.
I'm at the state where I need him to be around me all the time. I feel slightly clingy, but it's almost past that state, where I feel like I could possibly die if I wasn't able to spend any more time with him.
It can't possibly be healthy for me to be this reliant on someone, but it's not something I'm going to worry about. I need him, just as much as he needs me, if not more; and that justifies everything for me.
I'm slightly apprehensive that love can happen this quickly, but everything about it makes me feel good, it feels right. Technically though, it has been four years, so it's not really that quick.
"What do you want to do today?" I asked him, grazing my lips over his. He smiled against me, quick to bring a hand up and hold me gently in place.
His lips moved cautiously against mine, as if any wrong move would spook me, and I'd get up and leave. There was no harshness to this kiss, it simple and sweet; pure emotion on display.
I took his bottom lip between my teeth, tugging on it gently, before letting it slide out and spring back in place. Looking into his eyes, I know I can't live without him.
"Harry..."
"Yeah?"
"I think I'm in love with you."
---------------
Authors Note:
It's about time.
PLEASE comment and vote! ❤️