"It's easy to lose yourself I know"
Beartooth
He kissed her, he motherfucking kissed her, and I don't know which one of the two I hate the most right now. I just looked at Scott in disbelief, and he shook his head. So he really loves her that much huh ? I should stop keeping my hopes high and just forget about him. I already knew deep down that it was the best decision, but didn't want to accept it. Well now it's all clear. I just got in the car and heard Scott call Phil. The ride back home was dead silent, and we all went to do different things when we arrived. We ate quietly, until Scott finally decided to speak up.
"Why did you let her hit you like that?" He asked Phil, quite dryly.
" I don't fucking know man ..." Phil admitted. "Maybe because I love her a little too much."
" I had never seen you take such shit from anyone, let alone a girl you fuck."
" I'm not just fucking her!" Phil growled. "When are you going to show some respect towards others!'
" I respect people that deserve respect." I replied. "And she clearly doesn't."
With that, he just got up, cleaned his plate and left. Phil looked at me, but I seriously didn't know what to tell him, so I just imitated Scott and went to my room. I got in my pajamas and laid on my bed. I went on the Internet to search what time it was in Sydney right now. 11a.m, perfect. I logged in onto Skype, and hoped for their faces to pop up.
"Hey beautiful, how are you doing ?" Michael said excitedly.
" I'm fine, how are you ?" I asked, a smile plastered on my face. "Hey Calum !"
" Hello !" He said cheerfully. "I have to go take a shower, I'll be back in a few." And he logged off.
" We've been doing great so far." Mike said. "We're working on new songs, and Jesus, you'll have to hear Luke sing one day, he's incredible!"
" Well, thanks Mike." The little blonde said as he joined.
" No problem, all compliments are heartfelt and free." He laughed.
" And you , how are you Roxanne ?" Luke asked gently.
" Well, things are quite tense at the moment, but nothing too bad." I smiled reassuringly. "I miss you so much guys, I hope someday I can come visit you."
" What's happening?" Ashton chimed in.
" Well long story short, Phil has a girlfriend, she's a bitch towards everyone, he knows it, but he stays with her, and today she literally slapped him, and he straight up kissed her right after." I sighed.
" Is that the same girl that hit you with the stick on tv ?" Luke asked, and I was quite surprised to know that he watched my shows.
"Yep that's her, and that shit was unplanned, my back hurts like hell." I laughed. "And to top it all I have my first match against her, in teams, this week end."
" What's happening this week end ?" Calum asked, as he came back in front of his screen.
" We'll explain to you later." Ashton decided. Thanks, I didn't want to say everything all over again.
" But tell me about you guys, any great news that I should know about ?" I asked.
" Well, we played little gigs like we did when you were still here." Michael announced. "And we added a lot of covers to our youtube channel."
" Turns out Luke also had a channel, that is actually quite popular, so it helps." Ashton chuckled.
I continued talking with them for almost an hour, before calling my mother and then going to bed. Next morning, we had practice, and Friday too. On Saturday we decided to rest, since we have a big match coming up. On Friday I went to pick up my outfit, and do the last touch ups on it. It was amazing, not really feminine except for the sports bra. People could see the upper part of the octopus, my tattoo on my forearm was visible, as well as for my knees, and I couldn't be happier. My thighs weren't that visible, but oh well, the result looked so good that I couldn't really care less. In my overjoyed state, I jumped on the lady and hugged her. She laughed and told me she was not used to that. I thanked her one more time and left the room, my outfit in a bag. I went to find the guys and we went home. The mood was still a bit tense, but at least we all started talking again. When I arrived home, I went to shower and change into casual clothes. It was getting really cold here, since November was coming to an end. Soon it'll be Christmas and New Year's Eve, and the fact that I'll be probably spending it away from my family and friends for the first time was bugging me a little. I shook away all those bad thoughts and started making dinner for tonight. I was making Vegan nuggets with pasta and, really simple, but pasta and all was to kind of get prepared for Saturday. We ate while doing small talk, and the tension was slowly easing. We then decided to watch a movie all together, and we laughed and chatted, and that felt sooo good. During the movie I also talked on the group chat.
Ashton: Hey girl ! Ready for Sunday ?
Me: So fucking nervous you don't even know!
Luke: You'll be the best, and be sure we'll be watching you!
Me: Thank you so much guys, I'm so thankful to have you, you don't even know.
Michael: That's normal, we'll even all be together to watch the match.
Calum: Wouldn't miss that for the world.
Me: You fools are going to make me cry!
Phil and Scott went to bed since they had to drive, we were leaving early so Phil could spend some time with his family. I went to do my suitcases, and got a few hours of sleep. We left at 6 the next morning, Phil took the wheel first, while Scott rested in the backseat.
"So, how are you feeling about tomorrow ?" Phil asked.
" I'm soo nervous you don't even know."
" Yeah I know, I was like that too before my first matches." He chuckled. "And to this day, I still get really stressed. And this time my sisters will be front row, I have to make it extremely good."
I smiled at him, and we stopped the car for a small break. We got a little coffee, and Scott sat in the driver's seat. Soon after Phil fell asleep, and I imitated him, only for an hour.