You wished you had a reason to go to college that following day, but since it was the weekend and there were no classes it simply seemed illogical.
You stuck to your bedroom, not coming out unless you needed to go to the bathroom.
You skipped breakfast but made a quick trip downstairs around noon to stock up on some snacks.
You made sure at least someone saw you before diving back into your room again, your arms full of food.
'Gotta go, busy studying,' you said quickly as Han walked past with a surprised face.
You quickly locked the door behind you and sat down on the bed.
Because Han had seen you, you knew they wouldn't come knocking on your door for lunch or dinner.
It did strike you that the house was more quiet than usual again, just like it had been last night. But once again, you didn't want to think about it too much.
You tried your best to focus on your studies but it was difficult and your mind kept wandering off.
Around dinner time someone knocked on your door. You swore under your breath. Apparently, your plan hadn't worked as well as you had thought.
'Y/n?' it was Felix's voice. Your ears perked up immediately. You hadn't seen much of him lately since he had been so busy with work, and you had kind of missed him.
'I'm studying,' you said with a slight pain in your heart. You longed to see him, talk to him, but you were afraid of the consequences.
'I know, but can you spare a moment?' Felix asked. You bit your lip. 'I really want to talk to you,' he added. His voice sounded concerned.
You couldn't ignore him. Not when he sounded like that.
You unlocked the door and opened it a sliver.
'Yes?' you said, looking at his feet through the crack of the door.
'May I come in, please?' Felix asked. His voice was soft. You clenched your jaw but knew you couldn't say no to him.
You opened the door further and let him into your room. Felix closed the door behind the two of you and walked over to the bed where he sat down on it.
'Will you sit with me?' he asked, petting the spot next to him. You still didn't look at him but went to sit next to him.
A short silence fell.
'The guys and I... We've been worried about you,' Felix said. You felt a stab in your heart. Did they tell on you? Did they know? You closed your eyes and wished you could stop listening now.
'We've barely seen you these past days. You've been locking yourself away, coming home late and skipping meals,' he summed up.
You looked at him in surprise. You wondered if the boys really hadn't told on you or if Felix was simply being nice and hiding it from you.
'We're really worried, Y/n,' he repeated. His face did look very worried. His brown spotted eyes looked serious.
'I've been busy with school 'n stuff,' you lied, but you knew there was no use. Felix always had been some sort of human lie detector. He always knew when someone was fibbing, which is why no one ever let him play poker anymore.
And this time too, Felix clicked his tongue and raised a brow. It looked kind of hot.
You quickly closed your eyes tightly and let out a frustrated sigh.
'I can't tell you,' you said, defeated. 'Honestly, I can't, it's too... too embarrassing,' you admitted. You instantly regretted saying it. There was no reason why you should've told him that. You could've just told him you couldn't tell him and that would've been the end of it. Felix would've been able to tell you were telling the truth and he would've understood. But by adding that last bit, you had fucked it up.
'Embarrassing?' Felix said, his tone surprised. 'What could you possibly be embarrassed about with us?' he wondered aloud.
Suddenly, you thought of something. Something you had thought of too yesterday. You looked up at him eagerly, hoping, no, begging he would be able to give you something, anything, that would help it all make sense to you. Ignoring the once again creeping feeling of fluttering in your stomach, you spoke quickly.
'Lix, you know a lot about animals,' you said. You didn't wait for an answer as it was not a real question. 'You're a vet, you know,' you added. Felix was raising his brow again at your way of talking. 'There are animals, right? Animals who have some sort of... some kind of...' you were searching for a word that wouldn't make you blush, but as they didn't seem to come, you decided to throw all care to the wind and spit it out anyway as you knew you hadn't much time until the feeling would overtake you. 'There are animals who go in some sort of rut, right? A heat, a mating cycle or something?' you said, feeling your cheeks heat up.
'Yes...' Felix said slowly, clearly having no clue where your question was going or why you were asking it.
'What kind of animals have that?' you asked eagerly.
'Well, almost all animals have mating cycles. I mean, they don't fall in love as humans do,' Felix said, frowning.
'Nevermind,' you said quickly. The way Felix was scrunching his nose as he was thinking distracted you and the fluttering became worse.
You took a deep breath, leaving behind all sense and asking the question that had lingered in your mind since yesterday.
'Am I an animal?' you asked, carelessly. For a moment Felix looked at you perplexed, then he started laughing. High at first, before pitching down to his usual noticeably low tone.
'You are, when you're fighting Hyunjin for the last chocolate bar, but besides that, I'd say no,' he chortled.
Although he seemed to find the question hilarious, you felt defeated. It had been your last hope. Your last logical illogical explanation of why whatever was happening was happening.
Apparently, your disdain was visible on your face because Felix quickly stopped laughing and straightened his face.
'Why did you ask?' he asked, trying to sound serious. You looked at his beautiful face. The freckles on it were like the constellations you had seen last night in the sky.
'Because something is wrong with me,' you said absentmindedly as your eyes darted from his eyes to his lips and back again.
Felix's face got really serious now. 'Wrong? What's wrong with you?' he repeated your words.
His dark eyebrows knitted together.
'Whenever I'm... close to someone,' you decided, 'I-I... I feel the need to... to kiss them,' you admitted. Although the truth, it was only half a truth. You didn't dare say it only happened around them. You weren't sure if Felix would be able to call you out on it, but you prayed he wouldn't.
'Oh,' he said. His face looked stunned, eyebrows slightly raised and lips parted.
You bit your lip and quickly looked away from him.
'It's like an itch I can't scratch,' you said, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to block the image of his cute little nose, his long dark lashes and his doll-like pink lips out of your mind. 'It's driving me insane,' you admitted. Your words were almost a cry.
Felix was silent for a moment. Your heart was pounding in your chest and the urge to open your eyes and face him was so tempting...
'Do you have it now?' Felix asked. His voice was almost a whisper and lower than before.
You opened your eyes, facing him, unable to hold back the tears welling up in your eyes. You nodded, feeling more embarrassed than you had ever before.
'Oh, love, don't cry,' he spoke softly. He wiped away the tears on your face with his fingers, just as Seungmin had done for you yesterday.
He cupped your face as you looked at him, the fluttering in your stomach almost overwhelming you, and your thoughts went blank again.
He didn't look angry, disgusted or sad. He didn't even look like he thought you looked pitiful.
Instead, he looked like he was thinking. Hesitating... Debating...
Slowly, he moved his face towards yours, his eyes moving from your eyes to your lips.
You didn't move. You had forgotten how to breathe and were almost starting to feel dizzy.
Felix was barely centimetres away now. His eyes flicked up to yours one last time. You closed yours, parting your lips.
You could feel his breath on your face, his nose brushing yours, and then...
His lips pressed softly into yours. He was careful, very careful.
And you finally felt like you could breathe again.
His lips felt like flower petals on yours, so soft. He pulled back a moment and you let out a deep sigh, unable to hide your smile.
Once more, you felt Felix's lips brush yours and this time you followed him. You moved your lips with his as he kissed you.
It felt like all this time, you had been drowning, and now you were finally being saved. Although the fluttering was still there, maybe even more than ever, your head was starting to feel clearer. Your mind was starting to feel at peace. Like this was what it had needed all along. This was what it had been made for. Even your body was starting to relax now and you settled your face comfortably in his hands.
You kissed him back as well as you could, the taste of him intoxicating but at the same time saving you. You felt like you were regaining your sanity. Like everything had just been very simple all along and this is what was needed.
Felix tasted so good. So sweet. The way his lips moved over yours, you thought you could never get enough of it.
He swiped his tongue over your upper lip and your eyes almost turned up in your head. You nipped at his bottom lip in return and unexpectedly he let out a soft low sigh.
Slowly Felix pulled back from you, his hands still caressing your face.
'Feeling better?' he asked you with a grin.
'Much,' you replied breathlessly. Although you wish you could keep kissing him until the end of time, you knew it had been enough. You indeed felt so much better now.
Your cheeks were flushed as you giggled. Felix chuckled and booped his nose to yours.
You felt freed, at peace. You could finally look at him and love him, just like that. Your heart felt full and warm. Looking at him still gave you that fluttering feeling but the need, the itch was gone.
'Whenever it gets too much,' Felix said, resting his forehead against you and closing his eyes for a moment as he grinned, 'come find me. I'll help you.'
'Thank you,' you whispered. You bit your lip and Felix let go of your face.
He looked at you with a grin from ear to ear. You couldn't remember the last time you had seen him this happy. Nor could you remember the last time you had felt this happy either.
Felix got up and fixed himself to leave the room.
You quickly grasped his hand before he could take a step.
'Lix,' you started, feeling a little nervous, but he interrupted you.
'Don't worry. love, I don't kiss and tell,' he said with a wink to you. You felt relieved that he understood.
The rest of the evening you felt so much better. Although you felt confident to return to the guys and face them, aside from Chan maybe, you'd decided to stay in your room just for the night. You did truly have some catching up to do regarding school and you were finally able to focus properly.
That night you went to bed feeling satisfied and happy. And for the first time in days, you actually had a good night's sleep.
'Good morning!' you said cheerfully the next day when you joined the guys for breakfast. Everyone was there except for Chan. It wasn't unusual for him to skip breakfast, but to be entirely honest with yourself, you didn't mind him not being there. You still had no idea how you were going to face him next time you had to.
'Good morning, you seem quite chipper,' Han said, surprised but with a smile.
'I am,' you said happily. You felt safe with them again as you sat in between him and Jeongin at the table.
'You fixed it, then?' Seungmin asked as he grabbed an egg and put it on his plate.
'What?' you asked, feeling suddenly scared. Your eyes darted from Felix back to Seungmin.
'Just, that failed paper you had to turn in again. Felix told us you had been stressing over it like mad,' Seungmin said simply.
'Ah, is that why you've been acting like batman? Locking yourself away and looking depressed and shit,' Changbin said. You laughed. 'Yeah sorry, I wasn't there when Felix came back from your room. It took too long and it was stressing me out so I went to the gym. At one point I was afraid you might've frozen him with your icy behaviour,' Changbin said seriously.
Everyone laughed.
The morning was like every other had always been with them. Happy, careless and fun. There was just one thing... Hyunjin was acting slightly off. He laughed just a little too late at the jokes and you caught him staring at you now and then.
You tried to ignore it as best as you could. You didn't want him to get you down now that you were finally feeling better again and everything had seemed to turn to normal.
In the afternoon you played some games with the guys and after dinner, it was movie night. Movie night was never on the same day, but just whenever most of you were there and were feeling like it. Each of you took turns picking a movie, and tonight it was Changbin's turn. Of course, he chose a horror movie.
Everyone sat down and made themselves comfortable. Han was lying half on top of Minho and Felix was sharing his seat with Hyunjin. Seungmin and Jeongin took the rare opportunity where no one was clinging to them to sprawl themselves out over the couch and you cuddled up to Changbin's side.
As with most horror movies the plot was awful and predictable but it still managed to scare the shit out of you. Many times you grabbed hold of Changbin's huge arms, squealing as you looked away. Changbin would simply chuckle, unfazed by the horrors displayed on the screen and happily chomping on his popcorn.
After the movie, it was time for bed. You hugged and kissed each of the guys goodnight, Felix waiting to go last.
'You good?' He whispered in your ear as he hugged you. You knew he wasn't talking about the movie. 'Fine,' you whispered back and he let go of you. He smiled, said good night and left.
In your bed, however, you didn't feel as fine. The scary scenes of the movie replayed in your head and for some reason, every shadow in your room seemed to be moving or be shaped like something scary.
After a few hours of tossing and turning and feeling scared, you decided you had enough.
You sat up in your bed and flicked on your night light. You cursed Changbin under your breath for picking a horror movie. He knew you didn't like them much.
Chewing on your lip you thought. Changbin had disrupted your night's rest. You would disrupt his.
You grinned and climbed out of bed.
It wouldn't be the first time you'd sleep in one of the guys' beds. You had done it lots of times before. Changbin especially was your personal nighttime cuddle buddy.
You tiptoed over to Changbin's room and knocked softly at the door, hoping it wouldn't wake any of the others.
Changbin growled.
You knocked again.
'Go away, Felix,' Changbin grumbled.
'It's me,' You whispered at the door, just loud enough so he could hear.
Changbin made a sound and you heard some stumbling, a bump, a curse and more stumbling.
Changbin opened the door for you and looked at you with eyes that were still half asleep. He didn't say or ask anything but just waved for you to come in.
Without saying anything he walked back to his bed and climbed back in. You followed his example and cuddled up next to him.
Changbin wrapped one arm around you and used the other to find what he was looking for on the nightstand. He flicked on the little Snorlax night light and made a short humming sound.
He withdrew his arm again and snaked it around you, pulling you in close against his side.
You wrapped one of yours around his and put your head on his chest.
Slowly, you inhaled his warm scent.
Everything about Changbin was warm. From his scent to his body. He always seemed a few degrees warmer than the others.
You looked up at his face. His eyes were closed. His black hair was such a mess that you could barely see his bright red roots.
You put up your hand to touch his sharp chin.
'Hmm?' Changbin hummed, then opened one eye to look at you. The brownish-red tone was something you'd only notice when you were up close to him.
'Just,' you began softly, 'you're pretty.' Changbin chuckled lowly.
'You too,' he said with a smile, squeezing your shoulder and closing his eye again. You kept staring at him.
Changbin opened his eyes again and looked at you, raising a brow. You simply smiled at him and he closed his eyes back with a huff.
Your mouth was starting to feel a little dry.
You moved your hand over his chest, feeling the massive strong muscles underneath.
Your hand slid down slightly over his abs, fingers counting each one as you went from left to right and further down.
Suddenly, and with a swift movement, Changbin grasped your wrist. His eyes were only half open as he looked at you.
'What are you doing?' he asked. His voice was oddly flat. You didn't move or say anything as he stared you down. You gulped. 'I can't sleep if you're doing that,' he said.
You stared back at his reddish eyes. His hand felt tight and hot around your wrist.
Your stomach was fluttering familiarly, but you barely even noticed it anymore as you had gotten so used to it.
You felt hot. Your mind was empty and there was a new feeling you didn't know. A tension or maybe more like a heat, right between your legs.
Changbin let go of your wrist and readjusted his position underneath you. By doing so his thigh rubbed your core accidentally.
Involuntarily you let out a soft moan.
Changbin froze.
Slowly, his red eyes turned to catch your lidded ones. He bit his lip as he stared at you and the feeling of hotness between your legs seemed to increase.
You needed something, anything, to relieve the feeling. You pushed your hips forwards slightly and your clothed core pressed into his thigh. Closing your eyes, you let out another sigh of relief.
'Does that feel good, babydoll?' Changbin asked, his voice unusually low. You opened your eyes and looked up at him again, nodding slowly.
The corner of Changbin's mouth curled upwards. He flexed his thigh muscle, pressing it into you even more before relaxing it again. You opened your mouth to let out a silent gasp. Changbin huffed and repeated the movement. You bit your lip. For some reason, it felt so damn good.
Changbin watched your face as he continued flexing and relaxing his upper tight muscles, effectively stimulating your core, but after a minute or so he stopped.
You let out an involuntary whine.
'Do it yourself,' he said with a teasing smile and lidded eyes. He didn't have to tell you twice. You immediately started moving around, desperate for that feeling until you finally found a rhythm by rolling your hips into him.
Changbin watched you as you ground yourself into him, his tongue pressed into his cheek and his eyes heavy. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the feeling as you felt something building between your legs. Like a knot that was being tightened.
'Look at me,' Changbin said and you instantly opened your eyes again to face him. You couldn't stop. You thought you were going insane with the feeling. Your entire body felt like it was on fire and you were a panting mess.
'Say my name,' Changbin commanded.
'Binnie,' you breathed. You blinked slowly as the feeling kept building and the knot kept tightening.
'Again,' he demanded, biting his lip.
'Changbin,' you moaned. Changbin groaned deeply.
'Let me hear you,' he said with clenched teeth. Again, his demand was so easy to obey. You let out the moans you had been holding back all this time. You felt like you were getting close now. Close to whatever it was that was at the finish line.
'Fuck, babydoll, moan for me. Shit, you sound so pretty,' Changbin swore. His chest was almost heaving as he was panting now too.
His words spurred you and your movements began to become sloppier, eager to get to your breaking point.
'So beautiful,' Changbin said with a clenched jaw, cupping your face with one glowing hot hand. Your stream of endless moans were getting more high pitched and you could barely keep your eyes open anymore.
'You close?' Changbin asked knowingly. You nodded as you ground into him frantically, chasing your relief.
'Say my name. Say it, babydoll. Fuck,' Changbin swore. He moaned deeply and somehow the sound pushed you over the edge.
You cried out his name as the knot in your core uncoiled. Your body was on fire, electricity flowing through you. All of your muscles tensed up and you spasmed and shivered as you clung to him for dear life.
It was the best feeling in the world. Like fireworks exploding inside of you.
Panting and twitching you tried to catch your breath.
'Well done, baby, such a good girl,' he said panting too. He had closed his eyes and he wrapped one big arm around your head, putting his hand on your head and stroking it softly.
'You can rest now,' He whispered. You breathed in deeply and slowly, feeling more tired than you had ever before in your life.
You closed your eyes too and buried your face into his neck. Now and then your body still spasmed, but soon enough you fell into nothingness as sleep found you.
The first picture is an Iphone wallpaper WITHOUT space for widgets.
The second picture is one that has extra space for widgets.
Please do not crop out the title or my name, thank you :)
All of the works are available in high resolution downloads for FREE via my ko-fi page:
https://ko-fi.com/dollystuart