[Konoha Pub]
Maybe it was the fact that there were new employees he hadn't met before. Or maybe it was the result of finally being back home after being gone for months... Or maybe it was the heavy feeling in his chest. He wasn't entirely sure. Only one thing was certain: he didn't feel at home in a place he'd always felt comfortable being in.
Sasuke felt out of place in his own bar. He felt out of place in his own village. He felt out of place in his own body. It was as if there was no point.
And there wasn't.
The life he wanted was gone. The future he'd hoped for was a delusion, a fantasy. What was there to look forward to? All he saw in his future was loneliness and unnecessary work and problems.
Maybe he could look forward to his nieces and nephews? Seeing them grow up and become great people who would annoy him like their parents always had...
Did that include Sakura's child as well?
Sasuke tightened his hold on the cup filled with dark liquor in his hands. Of course, it did. Even if he and Sakura never spoke again, he was still going to be that little shits uncle just as he would be to every kid that would come from Konoha 12.
They were over, but they were still family.
Now all he could do was hope Sakura would one day find someone good for her. Someone who wouldn't hurt her and would put her first, and who would love her child simply because part of her was inside them. He hoped one day she would look back to all the pain he'd caused, and all the pain Kai had caused, and would laugh while in the arms of a man who made her past heartache seem ridiculous.
The thought stung, yet he still prayed she got what she deserved; a happy ending.
Using his finger to circle the rim of his glass, Sasuke continued to stare at the dark liquid as he suddenly remembered something. The reason why he never told Sakura to wait for him which caused him to lose her. The reason why he didn't simply tell her that he needed time and would soon come back for her.
He never explained things to her, because even though he wanted her, part of him felt like he wasn't and would never be enough for her...so he stayed silent in case one day someone worthy of her came.
"Fucking stupid," Sasuke murmured to himself.
The man that came—that bastard, Kai—was nowhere near worthy of her. He couldn't help but blame himself for the pain he idiotically allowed another to cause her. He hoped the next one would be the one who heals her.
Third time's a charm...
Sasuke wouldn't normally believe in such a saying, but considering whoever ended up catching the pinkette's attention would have to prove themselves worthy of her before Naruto allowed them to have anything serious, he knew the third person to have her heart would be someone good for her.
Naruto Uzumaki wouldn't let another one hurt her.
Sasuke knew that well and it made him happy to know they both had someone like him. Naruto would go to great lengths for both of them. Though he was a good and kind person, there were times when he could be dark. Especially when it came to his friends.
Naruto didn't condone hurting or killing people as revenge, Sasuke had been aware of that for a long time. However, when he informed him about what he'd done to Kai, all he'd gotten from his friend was a nod and a small praise telling him he did good.
It came to show how much he cared about Sakura.
Naruto cared about both Sasuke and Sakura.
Sasuke cared about both Sakura and Naruto.
And Sakura cared about Naruto.
And me, too...
Their bond was too strong to be broken over what happened. It led him to wonder if, by chance, they could one day be friends just as they used to be.
Or maybe not.
"Heard you were back."
Sasuke didn't turn around at the voice coming from behind him, knowing they were going to take a seat beside him even when they knew he wanted to be alone.
Naruto sat down, not caring about what the raven wanted, and then glanced at the drink in his hands, wondering what he was doing in the village without his pregnant...friend? He wasn't sure how to refer to Karin.
"Got here this morning."
"Have you been in here all day?"
Sasuke shook his head. He spent the majority of his day at his family's memorial, only been sitting at the bar for an hour.
"Ino said she saw you walk out of Sakura's office," Naruto mentioned. "Did something happen?"
Sasuke didn't want to talk about it, but he knew it was better to get it over with now rather than later. He exhaled a tired breath before explaining to Naruto about what happened with Karin, then he told him about what he tried to tell Sakura, then let him know it was over.
It left Naruto staring at the bar counter in order to not look at his friend with pity. He knew his teammate would only be annoyed if he showed him sympathy, so he pretended he hadn't just told him his heart was ripped out of his chest.
"Remember when we first got drunk together?"
"You and me?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Team seven."
Sasuke tapped his finger on his glass, his mind going back to that night years ago, and when the corner of his lip suddenly lifted, Naruto knew he remembered well.
"You puked all over your living room."
"Sakura puked, too." Naruto tried defending himself.
"In the restroom," Sasuke pointed out.
Naruto groaned with a small smile on his lips. "We had to leave the apartment—it smelt so bad."
"Then Sakura and I decided to run from you."
"Yeah, you assholes."
"You had puke on your shirt," Sasuke shook his head.
They reminisced about the memory some more. How they ended up playing hide and seek in the forest by their training grounds as if they weren't adults. How Sakura and he always ganged up on the poor blond. How they tried to see who could run the furthest without face-planting. So much was done on that simple night.
Everyone saw them as these strong shinobi who could take on the world together and win, and they could, but to be honest, they were kind of losers. That night and many more were proof of it.
Once they recalled every event that had happened, they sat there with the good nostalgic feeling warming their chests. It was then, when Naruto noticed his friend looking content with the memory, that he voiced his reason behind him bringing it up.
"You and Sakura had gotten in your first actual fight two days before," he mentioned catching the raven's attention. "I don't know what it was about. All I know is that I walked in and you two were practically at each other's throats."
"We only bickered a little," Sasuke sighed as if recalling what had transpired between them. "It wasn't that serious."
"You two didn't talk at all after that even though you were leaving again soon. It honestly seemed like you guys were a couple that had just broken up."
Naruto remembered how Sasuke truly believed Sakura wouldn't talk to him again. The memory made him want to laugh, because although he was trying to act unfazed by it, he could tell Sasuke was afraid she really wouldn't talk to him anymore.
"Then we randomly met up at my place and it was awkward as shit," Naruto went on. "But after a few drinks, and laughs, and stories, you two were back to normal like it was nothing. Like there was no way you two couldn't be in each other's lives."
"This is different," Sasuke straightened up, finally catching on to what the blond was doing. "Sakura and I are done."
"What could've been between you two is done, but that friendship isn't."
"Things won't be the same—"
"It takes time, Sasuke," Naruto assured. "I believe team seven will be back someday in the future. Maybe not anywhere near soon, but eventually."
Sasuke clicked his tongue, beginning to look annoyed with the conversation.
Naruto could tell he wanted nothing more. To have Sakura any way he could even if it was merely in friendship. It was the chance that she might not ever want it that was bothering him.
"I don't want you to leave, but if you decide to, I want you to know we'll be waiting for you to come back." Naruto stood from his seat. "Maybe when you're back, you two could reconnect."
Sasuke didn't say a word, his eyes on his drink, and just when he was about to zone back into his own thoughts, Naruto patted him on the back with more force than necessary, causing him to jerk forward a bit.
"Don't relax yet. Kakashi-sensei is headed this way."
Sasuke glanced behind him, seeing he wasn't lying. It made him let out a frustrated sigh.
He should've known to visit that pub on the east side instead.
"Boys," the Hokage greeted.
"Men." Naruto lifted his chin before walking off.
Kakashi's eyes followed his former student heading toward the entrance, surely ready to see his wife, then he turned back to his other former student who looked annoyed by his mere presence.
"Sasuke—"
"Go away."
"You didn't tell me you were back," Kakashi took the seat beside him.
"You were in a Kage meeting all day," Sasuke retorted.
Then they sat in silence, just as they always did before going straight to the conversation the raven never wanted to discuss.
Sasuke didn't want to explain his reasons for being home again, so he wasn't going to, which in turn meant there was no point in Kakashi sitting beside him. It irked him that he'd even sought him out, knowing he wouldn't want to talk to him.
"What do you plan on doing?" Kakashi finally asked.
Good. At least he wasn't asking why he'd returned.
"Travel."
"Travel..." he repeated the raven.
"It's always helped me figure things out."
Kakashi nodded and then glanced over at the glass filled with liquor in his hand. "Is that your one of many?"
Sasuke shook his head as he tapped the glass with his finger. "No, I...I'm not drinking."
"Not drinking tonight?"
"Haven't drank in months."
Sasuke could practically feel the surprise Kakashi was feeling at his statement. Part of him wondered if he didn't believe him, and he couldn't exactly blame him if he didn't. He had gone overboard with the drinking the past couple of years, but he completely cut himself off not too long after he was told he was going to be a father.
He didn't want his child to see him looking so pathetic, or worse, becoming like him. He wanted to set a good example for them. Be a good person, a good father. He'd ordered the drink considering he wasn't going to be a father after all, but all he'd done was stare at it. Though he did want to drink it, something was keeping him from doing so.
No, he didn't believe he could find someone else who could grant him the family he wanted, but if by chance he did, he didn't want them to be stuck with some drunk who went from one woman to another. Not only that, he was starting to realize things he hadn't before.
Like how his mother wouldn't be happy with the way he treated women. How his father would've been upset with the way he handled his liquor. And his brother... Itachi wouldn't judge him, but he'd indirectly give him advice and help him do better.
Sasuke turned when he felt Kakashi stand from his seat, surprised that he was suddenly ending it without giving him some type of order he wouldn't want or say something that would annoy him.
All the Hokage did was set his hand on his shoulder and gave him a closed eye smile. That was all it took for Sasuke to understand what he wanted to say without saying anything at all. Kakashi believed in him. Believed he was going to be okay and he would make the right choices without him having to guide him.
He didn't mention Sakura, he didn't ask why he was home. It seemed he always knew what to say and what not to every time the raven needed it.
Though he annoyed him more than he didn't, Sasuke was truly glad to have him in his life.
[]
It was now midnight and he still sat in the same seat he'd been in for the past few hours, unsure whether he should head to his apartment to sleep—which was undoubtedly filled with food and fresh bed sheets already, courtesy of Hinata—or head out and start his journey before Kakashi stopped him until he gave him a mapped route.
He'd already seen a few members of Konoha 12, as they visited the regular pub and approached him. It was only a brief greeting before they left him alone and he was grateful for it. He had things to think about, things he needed to figure out. Like what his future held and how it would be. He had no idea where to go when he began his travels, only that staying wasn't an option. He had to leave. He needed to give Sakura space, he needed to give himself time.
Would the feeling he's had in his chest for years fade eventually or would it linger until his final breath?
Sasuke stared at the bar counter in front of him, his drink stolen from one of the guys—most likely Kiba, he wasn't sure—after they noticed he wasn't going to drink it. Maybe if he truly tried to move on this time around, things could become good for him.
Or maybe not, after all, every time the pinkette came to mind, doubt filled him at the thought of moving on.
Just then, as he thought about the unlikely possibility of eventually finding someone else, Sasuke caught the sound of a familiar laugh. He turned his head toward the direction and was met with the brunette kunoichi he used to train with sitting at a booth...and she wasn't alone.
Tenten smiled wholeheartedly, an actual smile. One he'd never seen her have before even while she spent time with her friends. He knew the reason why she was never truly happy, everyone did, but there she was, genuinely smiling at the person sitting across from her.
Gaara.
The Kazekage wasn't even remotely funny, so it could only mean he'd missed out on a lot while he was away. Now it made sense why he'd bumped into Tenten multiple times while he was on border duty. They'd greeted each other every time and talked for a bit, but he had never asked where she was headed. Turns out it was always Suna.
Not too long ago, she was still mourning the loss of Neji. Deep inside, she probably always would be, but she managed to move on even though it was a major heartbreak for her.
So maybe hope wasn't lost for him. Just observing her looking brighter than ever made his doubt fade even if only the slightest bit. She found love again and she wasn't even looking. Not once did he ever see them have a conversation, yet they looked at each other so lovingly. It was...a little weird...however, now that the raven thought about it, he did catch the Kazekage eyeing her at Naruto and Hinata's anniversary party.
Tenten had been walking around broken, unaware that someone had their eyes on her and would soon lift her heart.
Maybe his person was also out there. He just needed to be patient.
"I knew I'd find you eventually," a voice spoke as they planted themselves beside the raven.
"What do you want, Ino?" Sasuke turned his gaze away from the couple and back to the counter.
Naruto had said Ino was the one who saw him leave Sakura's office. He should've known she'd come looking for him and felt stupid for not hiding earlier.
"Not drinking?" Ino raised an eyebrow in surprise before leaning into him. "And your breath doesn't smell like liquor for once."
"What do you want?" Sasuke repeated as he frowned her way, leaning back from her approach.
Ino sat straight and then turned to look at what he'd been watching earlier. It made her smile seeing Tenten happy.
"Those two," she mused. "Who woulda thought, right?"
Sasuke glanced their way before shrugging. No one would've guessed, that was for sure.
"What? Jealous?" Ino taunted, making him frown once again.
"It wasn't like that," he stated, referring to the drunken mistake.
"I know. I'm only teasing," When Sasuke only sat there, clearly annoyed by her already, she nudged him. "Come on, lighten up."
"Go away."
"Two shots!"
Sasuke gestured for the bartender to ignore her with a stern look that made them walk to the other side of the bar without getting her order.
"I'm not in a mood for your antics right now," he informed when she looked at him questionably.
"When are you ever," Ino rolled her eyes and then ordered a light drink for herself.
Then they sat there without speaking. It was obvious to him that Ino was merely trying to gather her thoughts to give him a lecture he didn't want to listen to. He could already hear her words, her blaming him, because although they were good friends, Sakura and her were better friends. They were best friends. And she would always side with her.
It's your own fault.
The strict voice she always used with him when she was upset ran through his head.
You could've had her, but you ruined it.
All you did was hurt her. You deserve this.
God, he prayed she'd get up and leave.
But she didn't. She began her lecture...and it wasn't the way he expected it would start.
"Please, don't leave," Ino looked at him almost pleadingly, her hands tight on her drink. "Don't walk away."
Sasuke was a bit surprised, and also upset. Did she want him to stick around to watch Sakura raise a kid by herself until someone came in and swooped her off her feet? He wouldn't do that.
"She still loves you. You can still fight for her."
That was an even stupider request.
He'd been fighting for her. He practically got on his hands and knees and begged. She turned him away, certain she was done.
"No," he stated with finality, giving her a look that said he was done talking and done tolerating.
Ino usually got the hint after that, but for the first time, she remained seated, shooting him back a look she had never given him before. The look saying that she didn't give one shit how he felt, she was going to say what she had to and he was going to sit there and take it.
It didn't surprise him as it would've if she'd done it any other time. He knew well the love she carried for Sakura. Might even be as strong as his own.
Hell, if Ino were a guy, Sasuke wouldn't have a chance knowing they'd be happily married and with children by now.
"You love her, don't you?"
"That doesn't change the fact that she doesn't want me."
They sat there, close to glaring at each other.
"So you're giving up?" Ino almost scoffed. "Sakura never gave up on you."
If he wasn't so annoyed and frustrated with the conversation, he would've laughed at her words. Ridiculous.
"She got married," Sasuke bit out.
It was then that Ino tore her gaze away from his, the anger and annoyance in her eyes turning into guilt. It made his own frown fade, unsure why she looked at him that way.
"To be honest..." Ino started, her voice low as she continued avoiding his gaze. "That was my fault. I consistently pushed her to Kai. I bad-mouthed you every time you were brought up. I nagged her about moving on from you almost every time I saw her. Maybe if I wasn't always reminding her of all the bad things with you and all the good things with him, she might've still waited for you."
Sasuke watched her slowly lift her apologetic eyes to him as if afraid of how he'd react.
"I encouraged her to leave you behind. I'm so sorry."
Sasuke wanted a drink.
He and Ino were already friends by the time he got out of prison. She'd been one of the very few people who forgave him almost immediately. And not just forgave him as in cut him some slack from the glares and ridicule like most of Konoha 12, she talked to him, included him, genuinely saw him as a friend.
She was always nagging him about treating Sakura better, and for what? Whole time she was telling her to move on.
Either way, even though it stung a bit to know that, he didn't blame her. She was looking after her friend from a guy who had hurt her many times before.
"You had every right to encourage Sakura to move on," Sasuke assured her. "It wasn't your fault. It was my own."
Yet Ino continued to look at him with the same guilty look. He could tell she would always blame herself for something that wasn't even her fault.
Kai played his part well. He couldn't blame her for wanting Sakura to end up with him instead, after all, she deserved better than what he'd been giving her at the time.
"You know, a few years back Sakura and I got into this major fight because she wouldn't give up on you." Ino voiced with a sad smile on her face as if seeing the memory clearly. "We broke up and we didn't talk for months after that. It wasn't until she came back from her mission in Kumo that we spoke again."
Kumo... If he was thinking back to the same time she was referring to, it was the mission where Sakura had visited him at the cabin and bumped into Karin.
The time when she finally gave up.
"I remember her knocking at my front door and just crying. She didn't tell me what happened, but I figured it had something to do with you."
She was right. Her heartbreak that day had everything to do with him.
"After that, we became friends again and she never spoke of you or even mentioned you again," Ino tapped her drink with her finger. "Her and Kai got closer and she was happy again like she'd never been heartbroken by you. It got to the point where whenever someone mentioned you, she didn't change the subject or looked uncomfortable. I honestly believed she was over you and truly happy, especially when she got engaged."
Sasuke felt his chest tighten. Maybe she was and he ruined that by returning.
"I mean, she was happy. But you know, it's easier to not want someone when they're not around, so when you showed back up, I was shocked. I thought she would get cold feet about the wedding, that everything she was feeling for Kai and how happy she was was fake," her eyes turned apologetic again. "I wanted you to leave."
"You should've told me to."
Ino let out a soft breath. "I almost did, until I realized she was fine. It was like the feelings she had for you never existed."
Sasuke remembered well.
When he first saw Sakura again after two years, she seemed fine with him being back as if he'd only been gone a few months and he was a mere friend and not someone she was in love with.
"I didn't know it was all a lie, all a cover-up she had on, until her wedding day," Ino had a faraway look as if the memory was fresh and she still felt it even now. "The moment I looked into her eyes after you walked out of her bridal suite, I knew without a single doubt that she was still in love with you, but she was terrified of you breaking her heart again."
Sasuke thought back to that day. When he'd walked out, he remembered Ino being there, looking at him with sympathy; pity. He'd been surprised she hadn't barged in and yanked him out of the room before Sakura rejected him.
"I remember feeling my heart pounding when I was told you rushed in and demanded to have a moment with her privately."
"You hoped she wouldn't falter," Sasuke assumed.
"Actually, no," Ino lifted her head and gave him a small smile. "I wanted nothing more than for her to take off with you and not look back."
Sasuke frowned, confused. He found her words hard to believe considering she used to openly glare at him when he was around Sakura while her eyes sparkled when it was Kai who was beside the pinkette.
"Then..."
"I only told her to move on, because I thought you weren't interested. I thought all you were ever going to do was break her heart and I didn't want that for her. Before that one long-term, you weren't good enough for her," Ino admitted. "But in that moment, hearing you came running to her before it was too late, I realized you didn't mean to hurt her...you were just an idiot who needed time. That's why you went away, right? You wanted to be worthy of her?"
Sasuke nodded.
"If you had shown you were interested in her instead of pretending you weren't, I would've never told her to move on, Sasuke."
Sasuke locked eyes with her, not seeing any doubt or uncertainty as she spoke.
"Had I known back then that you loved her back, of course I would've rooted for you. Hell," she suddenly laughed. "I would've told Kai to stop wasting his time and to screw off."
Sasuke felt that sting of her encouraging Sakura to be with Kai instantly fade.
Ino was annoying and frustrating and pissed him off more than Naruto sometimes, but she was a good friend. If he had to choose a girl for a best friend, it would be her—Hinata coming close second—though, he'd die before he ever let her aggravating ass know that.
"She won't fall in love again, Sasuke."
"She will. She's way too good for someone not to come along."
"Oh, please," Ino scoffed in amusement. "Sakura's going to have men coming after her left and right. I bet she'll even have a few suitors while big and pregnant."
Sasuke frowned.
"That's not the problem, though." Ino composed herself and gave him a serious look. "She won't love again. You're it for her. She might have said she wants to move on, but it's just her still being scared. She didn't mean it. If you leave now, she'll end up alone. Not only that, if you give up now, you will regret it later."
"It's too late," Sasuke shook his head. "It's been too late."
Ino sighed before she slowly slid off her seat, looking him straight in the eyes as she set a hand on his shoulder.
"...Is it?"
Then she walked away.
[]
"Great," Sakura sighed out when she felt the drizzle starting to pick up.
It was late, dark, and she was walking back home after dropping a few things off to Kotetsu and Izumo at the front gates. She'd left the hospital a lot later than she planned to, it was past midnight, and she only had herself to blame for being out so late.
If she hadn't forced her mind to get completely lost in her work to distract herself from things she didn't want to think of, she would've been in bed by now.
Looking up ahead, she could tell she was getting close to a particular area she didn't want to pass by. It made her look down at her feet as she began walking a tad faster in order to pass it quickly, hugging her arms as if that was enough to protect herself from the rain that would soon start pouring harder.
Sakura was now merely a few feet away from the area when she sensed someone's eyes on her, and when she finally looked up, she was met with the person she thought had left already sitting on the familiar bench she wanted to avoid.
Sasuke watched her as she came to an abrupt stop at the sight of him. His hair was dangling over his eyes a bit due to the light rain, showing he'd been there since she walked by the first time. And considering she stayed at the front gates to wake up and explain things to the two slackers keeping watch, he'd been waiting awhile.
Sakura hugged herself tighter and quickly dropped her head, hoping she could just walk past him without him trying to speak. She figured he'd been sitting there trying to reminisce before he left.
However, after only two steps, Sasuke stood from the bench and blocked her path. It caused her heart to pick up more than it'd already been.
They stood there as they had many years ago—the first time Sasuke had left—only this time, he was standing where she'd been and she was standing where he'd been.
If what she thought he was going to try to say was correct, then it seemed like the roles were reversed in more ways than just where they stood.
Now it was him coming to beg her.
"It's the middle of the night and it's raining. What are you doing out here for?"
"I was about to ask you the same thing," Sasuke said, his eyes strong on hers.
"You should go to bed." Her tongue tasted bitter at the words he'd once said to her.
But he didn't make a single move, simply looking at her as if fully ready to say what he wanted to. The look he was giving her made her feel scared for some reason, yet also made a feeling spread through her chest. It wasn't unpleasant nor unwelcoming, she just didn't know what word to use to describe it. Not now anyway.
"I can't," Sasuke stated. "Not until I tell you what I want to say."
Sakura shook her head feeling exasperated with his need to tell her things she couldn't listen to right now. She was tired of it all, she'd said that multiple times already.
"Just once, let me talk."
"For what?" Sakura loosened her hold on herself. "It isn't going to change anything, Sasuke."
"It could."
"It won't."
She could feel her heart pounding in fear at having to go through the same thing all over again. She was sick of it. The feeling was beginning to get overwhelming that part of her wished she could go back and do everything differently.
Change the way her heart held onto him so strongly.
"I don't want to hear whatever it is you want to say," she added. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"
Sasuke clenched his jaw, his gaze suddenly looking back at her with anger, frustration. "Why are you so scared of hearing me out?" he bit out. "Why do you always shut me off before I can even—"
"Because there's no point," Sakura frowned back. "Just stop this already. What's it going to take for you to take the hint?"
Sasuke was now glaring. "You didn't mean what you said back in your office. I know you didn't."
"Yes, I did. I'm done!"
Instead of the rain beginning to pour harder as she had assumed it would, it lightened back to a drizzle. They stood there, still frowning, still getting wet. Sakura wanted to go home. She didn't want to fight with him.
"Sagishi's out of the picture, Sakura," he reminded. "Karin is out of the picture. We could be how we were when you went to see me at the border three months ago. You know we can."
"Maybe," Sakura nodded. "But for how long?"
"Dammit," he sighed out hopelessly before hardening his voice. "I'm not who I once was. It'll be different now."
"I can't take that chance."
"You can."
"I won't," a lump formed in her throat. She was going to break and she wouldn't give him that. She'd broken over him too many times.
"Sakura—"
"Go back to your apartment... Or go wherever it is you go to when you leave the village. I'm sure you know exactly where since you're always gone." Sakura almost shouted, her chest tightening with each word she continued with. "I'm not doing this with you again, ever. It's over. I don't want to be with you. I don't want to love you anymore. I hate the feeling I've been carrying around for years, because of you!"
He had to leave. She couldn't hear him out, she'd give, then he'd break her heart. He had too much of a strong hold on her heart, he practically owned it. It wasn't fair. She deserved to be happy, nothing less.
Sasuke stood motionless, his frown gone. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, what he was going to do or say next, and she was afraid of what his next move would be. If he continued trying to fight for her, she'll break.
But if he left... she might be broken forever.
People move on in time.
Yes. He had to leave.
Sasuke opened his mouth, then it fell back closed before he even said anything. Sakura noticed how his shoulders fell the slightest bit as if he was tired of going back and forth, too. She could tell by the look in his eyes he was searching for something—anything. He was trying to see if he should stand his ground or walk away for good.
And when he started walking forward, her heart made a strong thud as it continued racing in her chest. She held her breath, waiting for what he was about to do...
But instead of reaching for her, he walked right by her, heading to the front gates.
It was then that her heart clenched harder than it'd been, needles pricking her throat as she continued to stare ahead. She wanted to walk away, head home, yet she remained rooted in her spot. Then without her consent, her body turned to face him.
She watched him walking away from her, just as he had that night many years ago. Only this time, she didn't cry and plead for him to stop, to stay with her. She didn't make a single move to stop him, her heart breaking with each step he took, ready to let him go once and for all.
I can't... She couldn't watch him walk away for the millionth time. It was a view she'd seen so often.
Sakura was about to turn back and walk off, put him behind her for good...until she noticed him suddenly stop.
Sasuke stood a few feet away from her, not moving for a moment. She told herself it was her time to run, yet she remained where she was.
Then he shook his head before spitting out, "You know what? Fuck this." He turned to face her with a pissed-off—and hurt—look before stalking back her way.
Sakura felt frozen, her heart pounding in her ears. She wanted to run, yet the sudden sense of relief that he hadn't left didn't allow her to. It confused her. She didn't want him to leave, but didn't want to hear him out? She felt ridiculous at the fact that she didn't know what she wanted.
"Sasuke—"
"No, shut up," he cut her off, stopping right before her.
Sakura gaped at his harshness.
"I'm going to say what I want to say and you're not going to stop me. Not this time," he bit out.
His eyes were narrowed on hers, anger and annoyance in them. But there was also something else, many other things as he looked at her; longing, desperation, hurting, hope. It made the back of her own eyes sting.
"I—"
"I said don't talk."
"You said shut up..." she mumbled, causing his annoyance to grow.
"I'm sick of you cutting me off. You've done it so many times, and to be frank, it's one of the reasons we're here now," he stated without hesitation. "The majority of everything is my fault, but I'm not the only one to blame."
He was right. Had she heard him out sooner, she probably would've never married someone else.
"It doesn't matter anymo—"
"I shouldn't have walked away," Sasuke started, clear that he wasn't going to give her the chance to stop him again. "From this spot," he gestured to where they were standing. "I shouldn't have walked away. I should've believed you when you said you'd make me happy if we all just stuck together, then I should've walked you home and said goodnight."
Sakura couldn't look away from his determined gaze even though she wanted to. Her emotions were now on high, everything she was feeling a moment ago now doubled.
"I shouldn't have walked away from any of my long-terms without you. I should've brought you with me or stayed," he took a step closer. "Or... at least I should've talked to you and explained that I needed time."
"Why didn't you?" Her voice was barely audible, the lump in her throat too strong for her to speak clearly without it sounding shaky.
Sasuke's eyes softened a bit, regret clear in them. "Because even though I wanted you, it felt wrong to keep you waiting after you've been doing it for so long. I couldn't keep you from meeting someone who might've treated you better than I ever could."
"Then why didn't you just stay?"
"I had to leave. I wasn't good enough for you, Sakura."
Sakura clenched her jaw to keep it from trembling.
He wasn't good enough? That was absurd. He had no idea how he was everything to her. No one even came close to comparing. Didn't she show him how much he meant to her? Her feelings were obvious. So why?
"You are the most wonderful person in my life. I couldn't stand by you and taint that," Sasuke voiced as if reading her thoughts. "I wanted to be someone worthy of walking by your side in the village we call home. I left because I wanted to become the better version of myself before I involved myself with you. That's what you deserve. Not some traitor who turned his back on his village."
Sakura's eyes widened the slightest bit at the realization of why he left on his two-year long-term. She always believed there was no reason for him to go. She believed he merely didn't want to be home with his friends, with her.
Apparently, she was wrong. Sasuke had a purpose when he left and he succeeded. The more time he'd spent away, the more she would hear about the good things he was doing for the village, and not just from his teammates or Konoha 12, from villagers who used to ridicule him. And when he got back, not once did she witness anyone looking at him like he wasn't welcome.
"I never cared what people thought of me or what they said about me. Not once did I ever want to defend myself and retaliate," Sasuke took yet another step closer, his voice then becoming low and almost threatening. "But I'll be damned if I ever heard someone ridicule you and I do nothing about it."
He'd left so people wouldn't judge her for being with someone they didn't want around. He left for her, and he couldn't take her, as people would assume his good deeds were merely at her request. That was why he had refused her request to join him.
"I'm done drinking," his voice softened, seeming tired, yet hopeful. As if praying he was getting through to her. "I'm done leaving, but if I have to, you're coming with me."
Sakura knew her eyes were glistening, her heart still drumming in her chest. Only this time, it wasn't out of fear. She felt warmth spreading in her chest and a feeling so overwhelming, she was close to crying.
"I'll make you happy, Sakura," he promised. "Maybe not all the time, after all, I can't lie and say we won't fight, because it's what we do. But I swear I'll never walk away again. I'm sick and tired of always doing that shit."
It was all so much, and just when she thought he couldn't say anything more that would surprise her and wrap her heart so beautifully, he spoke with complete certainty.
"I love you, Sakura," he admitted, breathing it out like he'd been waiting forever to say it. "You've always been in my heart. When I left that night years ago, even though I ignored it, in the back of my head, I knew a part of you came with me. Every single time I left, you were always with me."
And she couldn't hold back the tears anymore, letting them run down her face.
"I've always loved you and I always will," Sasuke took the final step that had them standing a mere foot from each other.
His hand lifted to touch her face. She knew her reaction to his words was telling him that he got through to her, and he had.
That was the reason it was still so painful.
Everything he'd said were words she didn't know she wanted to hear. They lifted her up and pieced her heart back together with ease. It got rid of the heavy feeling weighing down on her. Everything he'd said was perfect. She loved every bit of it, but there was still one problem with them being together.
Taking a step back from his touch, Sakura shook her head, instantly seeing the hurt in his eyes at her retreat. "Sasuke, I'm pregnant," she sobbed out, reminding him. "With someone else's—"
"I'll raise your child like they're my own," Sasuke didn't hesitate to voice.
Sakura gasped in a surprised breath.
As if afraid of her being doubtful, he continued, "I'll give them a sibling one day and I won't ever treat either one of them more than the other. I'll be a father to two kids I love equally, because they'll both be a part of you."
And just like that, all the hurting and the pain, vanished. It was replaced with a feeling she'd never felt so strongly before.
Like she was finally able to breathe again after drowning for so long.
When Sasuke reached out to her again, she didn't back away, she let him close the gap between their bodies, as he grabbed her face in his hands and began to lean in.
"I love you," she whispered right before he crashed his lips into hers.
Sasuke kissed her gently at first as if he couldn't believe it. Sweetly, lovingly. Then he deepened the kiss, showing her with his lips the relief of having her, of being able to look forward to tomorrow, of finally having his own heart being restored.
"Fuck," he breathed out against her lips. "I love you."
His words hit her more than they had the first time causing her to melt into their kiss, intensifying it with strong emotions they'd been holding in their hearts.
They told each other how they felt and how they'd been longing for this with every move of their lips and tongues gliding against one another's.