That evening back at his loft, Chan was in the shower thinking about Felix still. He placed his hand on his chest imagining his smile.
"Chan! Thank you!"
His heart skipped a beat...and he thought more and more about it...I came to the realization.
He was attracted to Felix, his recruit...
This isn't good...it's forbidden
The next morning that was on his mind as he checked the security footage, indeed showing Hyunjin sabotaged Felix's harness. Chan told the higher ups about it, so Hyunjin and Changbin were expelled from the program.
This year is wild...
Chan sighed looking through more footage, he went further back and saw the night when him and Felix were training to together. Seeing how happy the younger looked in his arms hugging him.
Lixie...
Chan pushed his feelings to the side, doing his best of ignoring them.
By month 3, they began to do more field training. By then many recruits failed or dropped out, Chan had about 4 members left in his unit. Including Felix.
"Really Commander?"
"Yes, you 4 have earned a 1/2 day off. So you and the ones who passed can enjoy your evening"
"Thank you! Yes sir!" Han thanked him before running off, the others yelled running off too.
They all thanked him then left to go home except for Felix who stayed behind to talk to him.
"Chan?" He said his name since they were alone, Chan smiled inching closer patting his head per usual.
"Ya Lixie?"
"Um...I just want to thank you again for helping me get to where I am now..." Felix asked shyly.
Chan laughed some cupping his cheek.
"Lixie I'm always more than happy to help, and I'm really glad you're still in my unit with me"
"Me too!" He giggled.
"Well, I hope you have a good evening off" Chan said waving to him and leaving, Felix waved too and left.
Chan had a lot of reviewing to do with his recruits updating their improvements in the system.
I'm glad you're doing well Lixie...
He smiled to himself typing in the info, he finished not too late but went home to shower and change.
Long week...I need a drink
Chan was in the city that evening walking down a busy side walk seeing people lined up outside a club, then he heard someone call his name.
"Chan?"
"Hm?...what-
Felix??"
He stopped to see Felix in line with a friend, and his outfit...
Hot damn
The boy was dressed very hot, Chan was no way expecting it. The older had on jeans , white shirt and leather jacket. While Felix had on a off shoulder white tank, paired with jeans and black cardigan and jewelry.
"Felix?" He said loudly over the music blaring as they moved up in line.
"Chan? Hi!" Felix smiled.
"Hey! I'm Chenle" his friend greeted him, Chan laughed looking around.
"Nice to meet you, um...you both going clubbing?" Chan joked looking at the club lights inside.
"Ya! My cousin is the bouncer! He gets us in for free! Oh you want to come in, he can get you in free too! And free drinks~" Chenle enticed him.
"Ya Chan it will be fun!" Felix added, Chan now couldn't say no to free drinks...or that smile.
"Sure, why not" he laughed joining them in line.
"Awesome!" Felix cheered, they eventually got inside quick from the bouncer and to the bar with drinks.
"Damn it's been a while since I been to a club, always busy working and training" Chan laughed over the loud music.
"Felix told me you're an elite commander in the special ops force? That's cool!" Chenle patted his back, Felix was ordering them drinks already.
"Thanks, I enjoy my work!" Chan joked.
They talked a bit more then Chenle and Felix went off to dance or something, Chan was enjoying the free drinks and checking his phone.
"Damn this drink is good-
Chenle? Where is Felix?" Chan saw the boy approach him.
"Oh he's still dancing...well trying to..." he rolled his eyes.
"Trying to?" Chan laughed.
"I'm guess you've never seen him try to dance? It's terrible and when it's a Kpop song, my ass won't be caught near that" Chenle pointed in the crowd, Chan busted out laughing seeing Felix dancing very badly with his arms all over.
"Dear god..." he laughed even more.
"Ya...he watched too many kpop girl dances...I assume that's him trying to dance..." Chenle made a face, Chan just laughed and put his drink down.
"Well let me find out..." Chan Weaved his way to the crowd to Felix, laughing even more to see Felix awkwardly dancing.
"Lixie?" He said over the loud music.
"Chan? Hi! Are you having fun? I'm dancing!" Felix waved his arms around again, Chan kept laughing though.
"Felix that's not dancing, look around you" Chan said, Felix looked around seeing everyone else dancing differently.
"Oh..." he put his arms down some trying to move his waist in a circle.
"Like that?" He asked, Chan laughed again at his awkwardness.
Cute
"Not quite, you move your hips around like that" Chan pointed to someone else as an example, Felix looked at them trying to mimic but it looked worse...
"Pfttt! Ha ha!" Chan laughed more.
"Chan stop laughing at me...I'm trying...!" Felix whined to him, the older smiled reaching for his hips pulling him close.
"Here, I'll show you. Just move them in rhythm, see?" Chan moved his hips side to side, Felix looked down trying to follow.
"I think...can you show me...?" He looked back to Chan blushing, the older bit his lip not sure what took over. He glanced to Felix's exposed skin as he pulled Felix's waist closer.
"Sure...it's like this..." he started to move his own hips with the music, Felix placed his small hands on Chan's shoulders feeling the older dancing on him.
Both started to feel the music more, and with the amount of drinks both had they felt more carefree to dance with each other...
Before he knew it Felix had his back against Chan's, feeling the older's hands on his hips grinding against his own.
"A-am I doing better Chan?" Felix asked tilting his head back, Chan looked at him licking his lips pressing his lower half against Felix's ass.
"Ya, much better" he smirked holding his hips tightly, Felix gave a small giggle turning around. He slipped his arms around Chan's neck leaning closer.
"You always make me better...Channie..." Felix said looking into his eyes, Chan hugged his waist leaning closer noticing the nickname.
"Lixie..." Chan looked at his pink glossy lips, even through the loud music...
It felt like the room stood still for just the two of them, and in the next second.
Chan pressed his lips against Felix's, the younger closed his eyes kissing back. The older kissed him more finally feeling the emotions he was pushing away come back...
How it felt so good to kiss the boy, he couldn't explain his emotions...but it felt right...
"Lixie..." Chan kissed him again but then someone bumped into them, snapping him out of his lustful trance.
He looked down to Felix then around starting to panic.
"I-I'm sorry I need to go...!" Chan said before rushing off.
"Chan? Chan!" Felix called for him but Chan ran out the club, he looked at the entrance and went down the sidewalk sighing.
Did that really happen?
Shit! I-
"Chan!!" Felix came out running after him, Chan apologized again about to walk off.
"Listen Felix I'm sorry! Just forget what happened-"
"I-I don't want to forget Chan!" Felix ran up to him grabbing his arm, the older looked at him in surprise.
"Felix what? No-"
"I like you Chan...!" He confessed, and when he did Chan's heart did that same flutter...
He bit his lip looking around to make sure no one they knew saw them, he pulled Felix with him behind the building to not be seen as they stood near a wall.
"Felix listen, we were both drinking and-"
"Channie I like you a lot...you're more than just my commander to me..." Felix said with hopeful eyes reaching to hold his hands, Chan looked away...
How those words he yearned to hear...but knew it was wrong...
"Felix no...you can't have feelings for me...and I can't have any for you. It's wrong as your commander and you're my recruit" Chan said softly, Felix looked down then back at him.
"So...you do have feelings for me too...?" He asked, Chan took a breath a nodded.
"Felix yes, but we-"
"T-then it's ok, I-"
"Felix no it's not, if the department knows anything like this happened...not only will it cause more problems amongst the units about favoritism but I will be seen as taking advantage of you" Chan explained, Felix looked at him sadly.
"W-what if we don't tell anyone until I become an elite like you? Wouldn't that work?" Felix said with hope placing his hands on his chest, Chan kept resisting his emotions best he could.
"No Lixie, that's even worse-"
"But I don't want to forget...these feelings I have for you..." Felix pleaded, Chan looked into his eyes listening.
"Lixie..."
"I like you Channie...when I'm with you...I feel really happy and good about myself...like I can do anything..." Felix said leaning his face closer, and Chan couldn't hold back his lust much longer.
"Mm...Chan..." Felix felt the older kiss him again, Chan backed him up against the wall roaming his hands to Felix's ass squeezing it.
"Felix..." Chan growled lowly kissing him hungrily, the boy gripped his small fingers on Chan's jacket as they made out. Chan pressed his lower half against Felix's.
"Chan..." Felix whimpered his name, and when he did Chan realized what he was doing. He pulled himself off the boy backing away.
"Chan...?" Felix panted licking his lips, Chan shook his head.
"Felix we...we can't do this. I can't risk my ranking and career...nor you in this program" Chan said leaving around the corner, Felix followed after him.
"Chan...? Chan wait!"
"Felix please...! Just forget tonight ever happened and forget your feelings for me...I'm sorry..." Chan said before leaving, Felix stood there starting to cry saying his name.
"Chan..."
The older went off to go back home quickly.
I'm sorry Felix, this can't happen