What is it they say about holidays bringing out all the family drama? Or that quote about silence being loud?
I don't need to remember exact words right now because I'm living the reality of it.
I've never stood in a silence so fucking loud before and the family drama that led to it is like nothing I've really heard before. I'm trying to wrap my head around it all. Her dad being in prison, what he did to her mom...
I don't know much about this family, except that Tommy is Uncle Austin's brother-in-law and an old friend, or maybe acquaintance, of my dad's.
He and his wife, along with Mia and her siblings, have popped into family events at Aunt Sadie and Uncle Austin's house over the years. But, to be honest, the kids rarely ever hung around the adults, so this holiday has actually been my first one spending any real time with Tommy and Amber.
I wish it wasn't. Because as cool and down to earth as she's been, Tommy is sort of intimidating. I understand he's got his reasons, seeing as I'm now the boy his daughter brought home for Thanksgiving. But I think some of the tension in this room would ease up if we were all a bit more familiar with each other.
However, the fact is that we're not. And as much as I'd like to hear everyone out on their side of this conflict, all I can think about is Mia. That she just ran off, hurt, after spilling her guts about some pretty intense family shit.
I need to make sure she's okay.
Only problem is, when I take a step forward, Tommy takes a step forward at the exact same time. And, also at the exact same time, we both say, "I'm gonna go check on her."
The room goes quieter than a cemetery, and a couple of anxious seconds pass before we turn to face each other.
Tommy's staring me down, hard. His eyes are so fucking blue, it actually freaks me out for a second, but nothing compares to the challenge spinning behind them.
I guess he wanted to check on her, too.
We're standing shoulder to shoulder, and I calculate quickly that he's only got about half an inch on me. I'm filled with petty satisfaction at the fact that I'm probably not done growing yet. Which means I could be taller than Mia's dad. Fuck yeah. I can't wait to tell Brand.
As Tommy and I stare each other down, my eyebrows slowly inch up with a challenge of my own, hoping that my face is relaying the part of me that's innocently pleading, "Let me go see her."
Not the part that's saying, "Really, bro? You think she wants to see you after what just went down?"
I don't know which part Tommy is seeing, but I'm pretty sure his wife is catching the first sentiment, the one powered by my beating heart. The one aching to run outside and see my girl.
"Tommy," Amber mutters softly behind us, her hand sliding up Tommy's arm. "I think we can sit this one out."
He glances back at her and they seem to exchange a wordless conversation as I stand there in the awkward silence, my foot tapping anxiously on the fluffy carpet underneath me.
Finally, Tommy turns back to face me. "Go ahead," he says, voice reluctant, eyes full of worry. It looks like he's got something to add, but he doesn't say anything else. He just tips his chin toward the back door, giving me all the permission I need to hightail it out of here.
Outside, the cool air is a relief to the burning tension I just escaped inside the house. My eyes dart all over the backyard in search of Mia, finding her quickly, and the sight has my heart plummeting to the ground.
She's laying in the grass outside of a little white playhouse and my feet carry me straight to her, eating the distance between us with a tunnel vision for only her.
When I sit down beside her, leaning against the playhouse, she immediately jolts up. Glancing over at me, her watery eyes meet mine, looking shocked and happy at the same time, a sigh of relief easing the tightness in her shoulders.
I reach for her and she scoots in close to me, letting me wrap her up in my arms. All I can think about is making the tears stop, doing anything I can to make her comfortable and happy again. The day was perfect until only minutes ago. I want that back for her.
I'll do anything to see her smile again.
My hand glides up and down Mia's arm, creating friction to keep her warm now that the temperature has dropped. I feel every deep breath she takes. They fall in sync with mine, and a few minutes pass as we sit like this in silence. The kind of silence I think she needs, so I don't press her for conversation. I know she'll speak up when she's ready.
When that moment comes, her voice is soft and calm. "How'd you get past Tommy?"
"Very carefully," I answer, enjoying the way her body vibrates against mine with a soft laugh. My heart does a break dance in my chest. "I've never seen that guy as a scary person until tonight."
"He's harmless," she mutters and waves it off as she sits up, freeing herself from the tightness of my grip but keeping herself close to me.
When I reach for her hand, she lets me take it and gives mine a squeeze. With another deep breath, she looks behind us at the playhouse we're leaned up against.
"He made this for my fifth birthday," she says softly, lost in a memory as she runs her free hand along the white wooden planks.
The weather has worn them down, time has peeled the paint. But something tells me that Mia's seeing it with the same eyes of her five year old self. I can see it in the hint of a smile on her lips, the wonder written all over her face.
"It was before he and my mom even started dating," she goes on, her gaze drifting up to mine. "He always says they built it together, but I'm pretty sure my mom probably just sat there staring at his muscles the whole time."
"Sounds like my parents," I offer with a smile, taking another look at the playhouse and checking the craftsmanship. It looks good, well-built and sturdy. I reach up and rap my knuckles against the side of it a few times for good measure, satisfied with the construction. "This thing is pretty cool."
"Yeah, it is," Mia softly agrees. "I used to spend hours in here. Playing house and having tea parties. Tommy would even squeeze in and join me sometimes. It was my most favorite thing when I was younger, this little house that was all mine, and I created some of my best memories in it after we moved to California. But it also holds one of my worst memories..." Her words trail off and she shakes her head in frustration before adding, "I can't believe she wants me to go see him."
The break in her voice has me pulling her into my lap, desperate to comfort her, and she comes without hesitation, curling up and letting me hold her.
My chest is aching with the need to fix this. I can't stand seeing her so upset, and my mind is still reeling from the conversation I just heard inside. It's safe to say that a few more pieces of the puzzle have been thrown onto the table, and I can only hope Mia feels safe enough right now to help me put it together.
"I'm right here if you wanna talk, Tink," I say to her, brushing the hair off her temple and dropping a kiss there. "But I'm also good with just sitting here and letting you work it out. On your own but not alone, okay? Whatever you want, I'm here."
She nods, pressing her eyes shut but it doesn't keep the tears at bay. I watch in agony as a single one lets loose, lit up in the porch light radiating across the yard, trailing down her face like a river of misery.
"My dad–" she starts, quickly stopping to clarify, "Vince, I mean...he was visiting for my birthday and Christmas." She stares forward, giving my hand another squeeze, and I brush my thumb along her skin for encouragement. "The yelling wasn't anything weird. I remember a lot of yelling from when we lived in New York together. Even the breaking things... I was used to that. I heard it in my dreams for months and months after we left. But this night was... different. Tommy wasn't there, he'd gone to visit his family. Vince and my mom had been fighting in the dining room of our old house and I heard the back door slide open."
She looks back at me, takes a deep breath. Her honey eyes are tormented and I can already feel my heart breaking as she goes on. "There was a loud thud and then another one. And then the sound of glass breaking. I ran into the backyard and saw him with my bat in his hand..." My stomach sinks as she pauses, the tears flowing freely now. "He was destroying the very same playhouse that I'd been making memories in."
Every nerve ending in my body is on fire right now and I'm struggling to keep my cool. It doesn't matter that this event happened years ago. Or that the piece of shit is apparently in prison now. I feel like punching the guy square in the face. But that's not helpful right now. The only useful thing is to keep it together and be there for Mia.
"I ran into the yard and begged him to stop," she cries, sharing the rest of her truth. "I thought he'd see me and realize what he was doing. See that I didn't want him to break it, but he didn't stop. He just kept hitting it. He broke all the windows and destroyed the flower box and I screamed and I was crying. Begging him to stop, but he didn't stop... he never stopped."
I pull Mia closer as she breaks down, her body trembling in my arms. "And you know what the craziest part about the whole thing was?" she asks, her voice cracking with a humorless laugh. "I was five fucking years old and, after the shock wore off, I was thinking to myself at least he's not hitting her this time. You know? Because, up until that point, he was always hitting her."
"Tink, I..." Fuck. I don't even know what to say right now. I've never encountered anything like this before.
You see it on TV, hear about it in the news, but you never think it will be something that presents itself in your life. Or in the life of someone you care about. Mia's always been so strong, so sure of everything, and right now, watching her crumble is breaking a piece of me. I need to form words. I need to make this better, but I don't know where to start.
"I mean, what was she thinking?" Mia goes on, eliminating the need for me to say anything at all. Her voice grows frenzied and she shakes her head, looking up at the night sky like the stars might hold her answers. "Going to see him? Asking me to go see him? Is she insane? Letting him back inside her head? She loved him and he hurt her so much. Isn't she worried about getting hurt again?"
As she hurls her questions at the sky, alarm bells go off in my brain and a few more puzzle pieces click into place. And they might just be the last pieces I'll ever need, the Mia puzzle complete in all of its confusing and devastating glory.
Our moment from earlier creeps back to the surface, the busy and conflicted look on her face before I told her to stop thinking so much. I know she wanted to say something but she couldn't quite get there. And I'm good with that, it's why I tried to go in for the kiss and give her the distraction I felt she needed. The last thing I'd ever want to do is push her.
But as everything else springs forward in my mind, the discussion between her and her parents, along with everything else I've noticed on my own over the last several weeks... her hesitance is starting to make sense.
All of it is starting to make sense.
Why she keeps me at a distance and won't hand over control, let me have even a slice of dominion over her body or her heart. How the deep, emotional look in her eyes never matches the words coming out of her mouth when she feels the need to remind me that we're just friends with benefits. Or the way she's so resistant to talk about the fact that it totally doesn't feel like we're just friends with benefits anymore.
She's always so insistent on making sure this isn't a relationship when all we fucking do is relationship shit. That never made sense to me before, but it's all coming together now that I know what I know. What her dad did, and the effect it's had on her.
She's fucking scared.
He did that to her.
"How could she go see him?" Mia asks, interrupting my scattered thoughts. She glances over at me, eyes pleading in a way that tells me this one might not be a rhetorical question. She knows the stars aren't going to answer, and she wants me to chime in.
I hesitate with a sigh, quickly trying to form something worthy and helpful. "I think she probably just wanted closure, Tink," I finally mutter, pulling her closer to me and kissing her forehead. "He was her husband. And the man she had her first child with..." My hand brushes up and down her arm, offering comfort where I can because I don't know if I'm saying the right things at all. "That can't be easy. Just like your part in this isn't easy."
Thankfully, she nods, satisfied with my answer as she sniffles and reaches up to wipe her nose on her shirt sleeve. "Well, I don't want any part of it. I don't even want to stay here this weekend," she says, her gaze lifting back up to mine. Her voice drops into a solemn whisper. "I want to drive back to campus with you."
I was afraid you'd say that.
Taking a moment to think over my response, I let my eyes travel over her face, studying her like a playbook. But there's no easy strategy for a situation like this. And as stares back at me, her honey eyes only unravel me. Even in her upset, I can't help thinking how pretty she is, tears and all. But if I could keep her from ever crying again, for as long as I live, I would die a happy man.
"Mia..." I begin, torn between the idea of her staying here, because she should be with her family on break, and the fact that I'd love nothing more than to bring her back with me tomorrow morning. Be selfish and keep her to myself. "I don't want you to make any rash decisions when you're upset. Maybe we should wait until the air clears."
"No," she pulls away from me to sit up in the grass, shaking her head. The flash of anger in her eyes is a warning. "This isn't only about my dad. Or going to see him, Gray. I'm so fucking mad that they kept me out of this and just sprung it on me the way they did. The air won't be clearing any time soon."
"Okay," I mutter softly, nodding in agreement as I bring my hands up to her face, brushing my thumbs over her cheeks and wiping away the tears still lingering there. I keep her present with me, waiting for her frantic breathing to calm down and fall back into rhythm with mine.
I'm pretty sure she might be right. The impact of the argument I just overheard won't be going away any time soon, and a vibe like that is bound to sour the weekend. But the best thing right now is to tackle one thing at a time, so we're gonna handle tonight first and try to end it on a better note.
"We'll figure everything out in the morning," I say to Mia, offering her an encouraging smile. Coming to my feet, I reach for her hand. "But for now, let's go back inside. I think I know exactly what you need."
*****
What does Mia need right now? 🤔 Taking guesses here. ❤️ But you'll find out on Thursday!
We know this story has been super lacking of our signature double updates, but we're just not caught up on writing this time. 😫
If you're looking for something to read in the meantime, you can check our reading lists and find the stories we've written individually.
The Please Remember Me series by jerimariee is all about the love (triangle) story of Grayson’s parents. And Friends With Benefits, by areal_16, is all about Mia's Aunt Lacy and Uncle Trey. (She has other stories, too, outside this world of characters that you'll enjoy if you love Playing the Game)
As always, thanks for reading and voting and being here. We love you guys. ❤️