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may 2004
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Rose moved her arm to Theo's side of the bed, hoping to find her fiancé there but when she couldn't feel him, she opened her eyes and did not see Theo. She sighed and turned to check the time. It was five past nine and normally Rose would be getting ready for a class but she had none today.
She took a shower, had breakfast and three cups of coffee. For some reason she felt very restless and anxious ― she did not know why. Ever since coming back to Cambridge, Rose has drowned herself to school work just that she won't think about the Malfoys and up until now, it has worked. But now that she didn't have anything to do, she couldn't help but think about them.
Theo had seen Draco a couple weeks ago ― or more specifically Draco had come to see Theo. According to Theo it had been awkward for several reasons, one being the fact that Draco had asked if Rose might change her mind.
But she wasn't going to. She had decided that much.
Rose brushed teeth and did her hair for the day. Theo was going to be working the whole day and Inez's day was full of classes which meant that Rose was going to spend the day by herself.
She didn't have anything special she wanted to do other than go out for groceries and maybe cook something. She smiled to herself, those were such mundane things to do and she was happy about it ― she didn't need any drama or magic in her life to feel good.
But what she did need was a good old drive. There was a nice book shop out of Cambridge and normally Rose wouldn't just take off and go there but she needed to keep her mind busy.
So she picked up the phone and called for any car rental near by and for her luck, there was one just some blocks away. She then made a quick call in hopes to reach Theo but he did not pick up the public phone at his work. Instead of calling and calling, Rose left him a note stating that she was gone for the day and should be back later on.
Rose took what she needed for the day and soon left the flat.
The almost summer air was warm and soft against her skin and Rose just knew the day was going to be a fine one. She had no reasons to expected otherwise and was actually quite happy with her decision to take a nice long car ride.
The book shop was in Bristol which was about three hours away and while some might think that going all the way there for a book shop was stupid and quite frankly waste of time, Rose did not think so.
Rose picked up the car and was soon on the road. One of her favorite things to do was to drive. She liked the feeling of freedom she gets whenever she's driving and now freedom was the feeling she has missed the most.
She put on ABBA and then Queen, and sang along the lyrics of her favorite songs. The open road calmed her nerves and she felt freedom for the first time since meeting the Malfoys.
Three hours went by really fast and Rose was getting closer to Bristol. The sun that had shone so brightly when she started her journey was now gone and dark grey clouds had taken over. She didn't think too much of it but then a drop of rain hit the windscreen. In no time the sky opened and heavy rain started to fall down.
While Rose loved to drive, she hated to do it when it rained. She didn't like how she could easily lost control of the car because of the weather and the situation didn't get any better when she heard distant rumbling and saw a flash appearing from the sky.
"Oh shit..." she muttered.
Rose was deadly afraid of thunder.
She knew she wasn't going to make it all the way to Bristol with the weather being so horrible and the fact that she might faint soon enough if the weather wasn't going to change.
Without really thinking, Rose took a turn from the next intersection. Every time she heard the sound which made her so anxious, she flinched and got scared. She had no idea what she was doing or where she was going ― she didn't have a plan. Driving back to Cambridge was a big no and since it looked like the rain wasn't gong to stop any time soon, she needed a place to stay.
She kept driving and driving, wondering what she should do and because of her phobia of thunders she couldn't think clearly.
Then suddenly, Rose hit breaks of the car and stopped in front of tall iron gates she has seen several times before. She stared at the sight in front of her and cursed her stupid mind for driving there.
Another loud rumble echoed to her ears and Rose yelped. She quickly turned off the car and stepped outside. Rain poured down and Rose got soaking wet within seconds. She wasn't sure what to do but when thunder scared her again, she pushed her thoughts aside and started to walk towards the manor.
It was stupid of her and she wished that Draco would be the only one there ― he wasn't as awkward to face as Lucius and Narcissa.
She thought about all the things she could say to them and all the things she should not speak of ― her decision to name one. She wasn't sure what to expected when she reached the front doors and knocked.
Seconds felt like hours and Rose thought about just taking off. She could find another place.
"What the hell?" Draco opened the door and asked. "What are you doing here?"
Rose opened her mouth to answer him but instead she sneezed.
"I see," Draco said. "Come."
"I-I won't be long. I just had to get away from the road. The thunder was..."
Draco nodded as he remembered that Rose was afraid of thunder. He didn't quite understand this because he actually enjoyed the weather. He looked at his sister and noticed how her coat was dropping water on the floor.
"The fire's on," he said.
"Oh well I was thinking of just waiting here," Rose said and quickly glanced around the foyer. "Umm are they here?"
"Yeah," said Draco and rubbed the back of his neck when Rose's face paled. "I mean I could probably tell them not to come here but..."
Rose sighed. "It's fine. It's their home, they should be able to go about as they please. Besides, the rain should stop soon. I hope."
"Draco darling who was it?" Narcissa's voice echoed through the halls of the manor.
Sound of heels clicking against the black marble floors approached Rose and Draco faster than either of them had expected. They could also hear another set of steps getting closer second by second and soon enough, two very confused adults stared at their surprise guest.
Rose immediately turned to look down, trying her best to avoid the longing gazes of her parents.
Lucius cleared his throat ― his head still working out why Rose was there. She had made it quite clear that she wanted nothing to do with them.
"Rose," he said.
The young blonde stayed quiet.
Narcissa looked so confused and feared that something bad has happened to her daughter since the girl was the last person Narcissa had expected to see. Her motherly instincts took over and she wanted to give Rose some warm clothes since she was soaking wet but Narcissa stopped her from doing so ― she wanted to respect Rose's decision and keep her boundaries.
"Are you all right?" Lucius asked and saw Rose nod her head just a little.
Again, thunder reminded Rose of its existence and she flinched.
"It's the thunder," said Lucius when he remembered Rose telling this months ago. "You are afraid of it."
"I-I don't know why I came here," Rose said, her gaze still down at the floor like there was something interesting there.
She could barely recognize her own voice ― she sounded like a little child.
"It's all right. You don't need a reason to come here," said Lucius and glanced at his wife who was still in mere shock by their daughter's sudden appearance.
Rose shook her head before lifting her gaze back to Lucius and Narcissa.
"This was stupid of me," she said. "I shouldn't have come. It's not fair to you."
"Nonsense. We're very glad to see you," Lucius assured.
"You don't have to lie to me," said Rose.
Narcissa frowned and finally spoke.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you can't actually be happy to see me. The last time we saw, I told you to leave," she explained ― she just couldn't understand why would anyone want to see a person who has hurt them.
"Well yes but you must know that your decision never changed our feelings towards you," said Lucius and felt Narcissa wrap her hand around his arm.
"I still don't understand the reason why we wouldn't want to see you," he added.
Rose scoffed in disbelief but it wasn't disbelief caused by negativity but by confusion, and sadness. The thought that perhaps the Malfoys might dislike her again had made her feel good ― like she hadn't broken innocent hearts.
"Are you joking?" Rose sighed but before she had a chance to continue, she sneezed again.
"You are going to freeze," Narcissa said softly. "You should change into something dry and warm."
"I'm fine," said Rose.
"Please. I would hate to see you get ill."
Rose had to admit, she was freezing. She could already feel her throat getting itchy and her hands were cold as ice. She admitted her defeat and let Narcissa help her. Rose couldn't help but notice how Narcissa's face lit up ― she promised she wouldn't get affected by this.
Narcissa showed Rose to one of the many bedrooms and gave her a dry shirt to put on while Lucius and Draco had gone to the drawing room to make sure the fire was still on.
"Is there anything else you need?" Narcissa asked.
"I'm fine," said Rose but flinched when she heard thunder rumbling again.
"It will past soon I'm sure of it," assured Narcissa when she noticed Rose flinching once again.
"Sure," said Rose.
It was easy to tell that Narcissa wanted to talk with Rose, have a real conversation with her but couldn't do so. They left the room and headed to where Lucius and Draco were. Rose stayed quiet the whole and she honestly thought that the way from upstairs to downstairs felt like an hour long journey.
From what Rose could remember, the last time she had been at the manor was months ago. It had been awkward and she had been in complete denial over the whole thing. She was no longer in denial ― she had accepted the fact that she was Lucius and Narcissa's daughter but she wasn't going to tell this to them.
There was no reason because she had decided to not be in their lives.
"So how have you been?" Lucius asked once Rose had sat down on an armchair while rest of the family sat on one couch.
Rose ran her fingers through her hair.
"I-I can't do this," she said.
Lucius frowned in worry. "What?"
"This whole thing. For fuck sake you people, I told you that I don't want you in my life. I saw how hope disappeared from your eyes and yet now you are treating me like nothing happened? How is that possible?" Rose asked and got up from her seat.
"I mean really, why are you being so nice now?"
"Rose..." sighed Narcissa.
"No. I did the right choice. I did, I really did. It was the right thing to do. Do I feel bad for it? Yeah, sure. I do feel bad because whether I like it or not, I can't hide the fact that I have your eyes," said Rose and pointed at Narcissa before turning to look at Lucius. "Or I have your cheekbones and stupid nature. But it doesn't matter. Not anymore."
Her speech might've been more serious if she wasn't crying. She didn't know exactly when she had started to cry but she was. Her eyes were leaking tears and every word she had said made her heart ache a little. She knew she's been torn lately but she hasn't quite understood just how much until now.
Narcissa glanced at Lucius. She knew what she wanted to do and that was to comfort her daughter but she didn't know if she should.
"Oh god I'm sorry," Rose sighed and wiped her tears away although that didn't do any good since she kept crying. "It was my decision and I should've been sure of it. I was sure of it but now I just... I don't know what to think."
Thunder hit again and Rose shut her eyes due her fear.
"Fuck I hate the thunder," she whispered.
Two warm hands touched her shoulders and Rose opened her eyes. Narcissa was standing right in front of her with a small smile across her lips.
"You can change your mind if that's what you want," she said.
Rose shook her head. "But that's not fair."
"Fair? Darling it doesn't matter," Lucius said. "We would love if you decide to change your mind but if you don't, we understand. These past months... we've had time to think and your decision was a legitimate one. We never blamed you for any of this."
"Please," said Narcissa with a hopeful voice.
Silence fell upon the room. No one said a word. Rose felt like an idiot ― how did her day turn out like this. She knew it was her choice to make, whether or not she would change her mind. If she was being honest, she did want to undo her previous decision. There was no real reason why she couldn't have the Malfoys in her life. Her mothers were all right with it ― they've said it many times.
"O-okay," Rose said with a shaky voice.
Draco's eyes widened ― he couldn't believe it.
"Wh-what?" Asked Lucius.
"I guess having you in my life wouldn't be so horrible after all..." said Rose and the smile Narcissa held was the brightest Rose has ever seen.
Narcissa even chuckled. "Thank you."
Rose sighed and surprised everyone ― herself included ― when she wrapped her arms around Narcissa's shoulders to hug her.
"Oh my baby girl," Narcissa whispered.
i'm nice :)
there'll be just couple more chapters and then we're done here