Staring down at her. London's head rests on my lap. Her eyes closed as I ran my hand through her hair.
My heart pounds against my chest and my mind runs wild. Using my open hand to pull grass out of the ground as I try to think of how to ask her a simple question.
Why does everyone else make this look so easy? I question myself. Maybe I shouldn't
"What are you thinking about?" My heart skips a beat at the sound of her voice. I look down at her and I can't help the smile that makes its way to my lips. My mind is wiped blank just by looking at her.
Her brown eyes remind me of melted honey. I watch as her honey-colored eyes narrow at me and a confused smile takes over her full rosy lips.
"I was just thinking." I say slowly, worrying about how she will answer the question that I'm about to ask her.
"Thinking about what?" I can hear the worry in her tone. London quickly sits up, facing me.
I bit the inside of my lip and looked down at my hands. Digging the nail of my pointer finger across the pad of my thumb: trying to control my anxiety.
"I.." I take in a breath before looking at London and continuing what I was going to say. "I want us..I want you to be my–" I stopped when I heard the sound of a little kid crying. I look around the small park until my eyes land on a little boy.
He is probably around 4 or 5. The small boy has dark brown fluffy hair. He looks around the park as though he is trying to find someone.
London quickly gets on her feet and walks in the direction of the little boy. His cries get louder the closer we get. "Are you alright?" London asked as she kneeled onto the floor in front of him.
He shook his head as he looked around the park. "It's ok, little one. I'm London."
He looked over at us with teary eyes. His brown eyes are red from all of the crying. "Hi." He said, through sniffles.
"I'm Atlas." The boy says as he wipes his cheeks. London gives him a sweet smile that makes my chest go all warm and fuzzy.
"I need my mommy. I-I cant find her." He looks around again in hopes of finding his mother.
London stood straight before holding her hand out to Atlas. "Me and August will help you look for her. Does that sound like a plan?" She asked softly. The boy nodded quickly as he took her hand.
Looking down at Atlas, trying to understand how someone loses their kid in the first place?
"How old are you, Atlas?" He looks up at me and I see that his nose and cheeks are still red from crying.
"I'm.."He pauses, lifting his free hand in the air and putting up four fingers. I could hear him mumbling numbers as he counted. "I am four." His voice is low and soft.
We walked around the park for probably 30 minutes before Atlas started complaining that his legs hurt. He would let me hold him. Anytime I asked if London wanted me to take him, he would start yelling at me.
"Okay, little guy. Where is the last place you saw your parents?" It took him a second to give me an answer. London and I both share a look.
"What direction did you come from?" She asked him. Atlas head was buried in Londons hair. "I don't know, but I'm hungry." He said in a tired voice.
I looked around one last time, hoping that I would spot a couple that resembled the little boy in London's arms. But to my luck, the park was almost empty and no one looked as though they had lost a small child.
"Let's go get him something to eat." I tell London as I move beside her. She gives me a nod. I could just see it on her face. She was tired and annoyed. "Alright." Great, her day is probably ruined now.
***
"Maybe we should just bring him into the police station." I suggested, but by the look on London's face, I regret even giving her the suggestion at all. Her dark eyes narrow at me, and her face holds no emotion. "No." When I go to argue with her, she begins to speak again.
"No August I will not take him to the police station. He will be scared and alone in a small room with some stupid fucking graham crackers until his mom comes to get him." She snaps before looking down at Atlas. He is asleep in her lap.
"You don't understand August." She says softly as she runs her fingers through his dark hair.
"That crap burns into your memory." And nothing can get it to go away. The thought that you are alone and forgotten is one of the worst feelings in the world." She stares down at him, but it almost looks like she isn't really there.
It's like she is lost in a trance. "But we can't keep him." I say, softly. I watch as London wipes her cheek before looking up at me.
"I know but can we just look for a little bit longer and then we can take him to a police station." She quickly looks down at the boy in her lap and then back at me. "But I'll stay there until they find his parents." I give her a nod.
Getting out of the booth. "Let me take him." I say, holding my arms out. I lean down, taking the small boy into my arms, resting his little head in the crook of my neck. I could hear his light snores as he slept in my arms.
"We can look until the sun starts going down." I told her. I watch as a sad smile makes its way onto her lips. We walk in silence as we walk down the busy streets.
I look over at London. She looks as though she is trapped in her own head. I have always hated that feeling.
The feeling you get when your mind starts to take over and all the bad thoughts and memories come flooding in and it becomes so loud that it gets hard to hear the outside world.
I can't just leave Atlas at a police station. He would be scared to death. My eyes keep scanning people that walk by, trying to see if anyone looks like they are missing a kid.
My gaze is drawn to August. Looking up at his tall frame. I can't help but think about the possibility that we might have to take him to the police station. I wouldn't want Atlas to go through the same thing I did when I was little.
Flashback
8 years old
"Here, honey." An older woman handed me a small bag of graham crackers. I ignore her and keep looking down at my hands that are sitting on my lap. I just want to go home to my grandpa and grandma. I wanted to say, for the hundredth time, but it would be no use.
All I could think about was how I wanted to go home. To just hug my grandpa and grandma one more time.
What did I do wrong?
Why am I here?
"You'll be able to go home soon, sweetheart." My head snapped up to look at the woman in the dark uniform.
Her blond hair was pulled into a tight bun at the back of her head. I watch a small smile move onto her lips.
"My grandpa is coming to get me?" I exclaimed. The officer's smile quickly faded. "No honey, your mommy is coming to pick you up." My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach.
I don't want to go. I wanted to say.
I don't understand why any of this is happening.
I am confused.
When I hear the door close, I break out into tears. I hug my chest as I sob. "I want to go home." I cry to myself. Only the sound of my sobs could be heard. My cries echoed in the cold, empty room.
It was hours before I was able to stop crying, and it took forever until the door opened again.
"My baby." My head slowly lifted up to look at the lady that looked identical to me. I looked back down at the wooden table and watched as my tears splattered onto the table.
I wish that I could just wake up from this terrible nightmare.
But the thing is, it wasn't a nightmare.
Flashback ended
I was pulled out of my trance when I heard what sounded like a cry. "Oh my god."
My head snapped in the direction of the sound. I saw a younger lady, probably in her early 20s. Her hair was long and the color of fire. She looked as though she had been crying for hours.
Freckles covered her pale skin. Atlas's head immediately snapped up at the sound of the woman.
"Mommy!" He exclaimed as he tried to jump out of August's arms. Atlas' mother took him out of August's arms.
"Oh thank you." She cried as she held onto her son as though he would run away again.
"Thank you. Thank you." She said to both August and me. "Where did you find him?" She asked as she tried to calm down.
Looking over her shoulder, I saw a man step behind her and give the boy in her arms a look that I know too well. He must have been Atlas' father.
"See, Suzanna. I told you that he would be fine." The man said it with a tone that sent chills down my spine.
"At the park down the street." August tells her. She gave him a nod. "I'm so sorry for all of this trouble. He was next to me and then it was like he vanished." Atlas mother explained.
"Thank you..." She paused.
"I'm August and this is London." August responded quickly.Atlas' mother smiled through her tears.
"You guys are like angels. Thank you again." She says it again. August gives her a heartfelt smile. I didn't miss the way the man grabbed Suzanna's arm.
When Atlas's father noticed me staring, he immediately let go. But the red mark on her pale skin stayed.
"We better get going. Don't want our boy to get too tired." He said it with a smile that made my skin crawl.
Atlas's mother smiled, but it looked forced. "Bye, pretty lady." Atlas gave me a toothy smile. I give him a wave before turning and leaving.
Ahh you guys go to see little Atlas from Just a Dream.
I can't believe I get to say I'm a wattpad creator!!
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I got my first tattoo today! Why do people freak out about it? It didn't even hurt.