"Robin, I think it's time we went for a ride. What do you say?" Benjamin said, a strained smile on his face.
"Where are we going?"
"Around. Come, no time to waste." I almost hesitated. I wasn't a great rider, and it made me uncomfortable around the Merryweathers. They all rode so well, even my sister.
I followed him out of the castle, trying to calm the shakiness I felt throughout my body. Could this be it? Is this what happens when...when he says yes?
"Robin, you can choose. This is Shadow, and this is Brick," he said, holding the reins of both horses.
"You named your horse Brick?" I asked, reaching for Shadow's reigns.
"No, Maria did. She said she found him licking a brick as a foal, and that's how he got his name," he chuckled, mounting his horse easily.
I lead Shadow over to the brick wall and used that to help myself onto him.
"Still need help after all this time? Knowing your father you would have been riding to watch the forest," Benjamin commented.
"I'm quieter on foot. I prefer it." We set off into the forest, towards the edge of the valley.
"Quieter when you sneak around the manor to see her?" He asked, as a matter-of-factly. I nearly choked on my breath.
"No, sir," I answered quickly. He chuckled in response. "If you don't mind me asking, where are we going?"
"There's a spot I used to go as a boy, with my father. He would take me up here to talk, and eventually, he brought me up here to tell me he was sick, and I needed to take over the estate." Benjamin's jaw tensed, and I couldn't tell if I could question him further.
When we reached the top, he dismounted and tied Brick up to a tree branch, and I followed with Shadow. After he helped me tie up Shadow, he led me to the edge of the hill, and I took in the view.
I hadn't been to this side of the forest as it was always too close to the villagers for my own comfort.
"Robin, come sit." Benjamin motioned to a rock next to him, and I quickly sat, trying to seem as least awkward as I could.
"Why did you bring me up here?" I asked.
"I'm not going to kill you, don't worry. I made a promise to a spunky red-haired princess who wouldn't let me live if I did anything," He said, chuckling. "The girl is her father's child, no doubt."
"What was her father like? Before he..." It occurred to me I had never actually told Benjamin why Maria was brought to the valley, or what actually happened to her father. Maybe he already knew.
"He wasn't a good man. He drowned Maria in debt she couldn't get out of, but I offered to take her in if anything were to happen to him. And then the man got himself killed. Although he was my brother, the man deserved whatever death he got. To leave his own daughter without a home, without the life she grew up with, to then be uprooted to the countryside... I pitied her, deeply. She had never asked for any of it, and yet it was all she had." He sighed, then looked towards me. "Without your help, after she saved the valley, I feel as though she would have hated it here. Maria would have begged to go back to London, and God only knows if I could have afforded to send her to a season, let alone travel away from the valley long enough to chaperone her."
"Maria wouldn't have wanted to go. Mrs. Digweed on the other hand..." I joked, knowing Mrs. Digweed would have dragged her all the way to London, and stuffed her into whatever dresses she could find.
"Mrs. Digweed has been a wonderful tutor for Maria. She's grown to be a fine young lady, better suited for London than the country," Benjamin admitted.
"You should see her with her bow. Maria could kill with one arrow by now. She's able to protect herself better than most of the new patrol at the castle. She's a natural, Benjamin," I smiled as I thought about it, but quickly pushed the thought aside.
"Robin, you've grown a strong attachment to her," he started.
"I love her and I want to marry her," I corrected. He didn't so much as blink in my direction.
"And she feels the same." His confirmation gave me hope, but his expression killed it in an instant.
"I've done everything you've asked me. I've trained her, I've given her space and time and whatever else she needed. I've stopped sneaking around to see her, and I've allowed another adult to constantly be with us. I've kept my distance and been more responsible. What else do you want from me?" I asked, trying not to sound desperate as I let out my frustrations.
He let out a short breath, "And yet, you are both still just children."
I stared at my hands, trying not to pick at my nails. "Did you bring me all the way up here just to tell me no? You may as well have killed me instead."
"Robin, if you ask her again, what do you think she would say?" He asked.
"She would say yes. I know she would. Maria loves me, and we've been waiting for years now, out of respect for our families." Had we the choice, we would have married a few years ago. "You have your own child now. Let me take care of Maria and let us live our own lives together. Please."
"Where will you live? How will you take care of the valley? Are you to just uproot the life she has become accustomed to at the manor? Have you thought about any of this, Robin?"
"Of course I have. Do you really think I haven't? My father has had me shadowing him for the past two years to prepare myself so that I could take over his role. We'd live at the De Noir Castle, in our own room, and I would help her continue her work as protector of the valley. It would take her some time to get used to it all but she would. She loves exploring the castle and being around the patrol will help her train more, which is what she wants. She knows that I have duties and obligations to my family. Maria doesn't have any obligations to the Merryweathers. Not with your new daughter. Did you ever think of that? I'm not stealing her away to some other country, or even to London. She'd never be that far away." I let out a breath of frustration and couldn't continue. I was going to end up saying something I'd regret.
"I see." That's all?
"I will ask only once more, Benjamin. Do Maria and I have your permission to marry?"
"And what will you do if I say no?" He asked, my stomach sinking at his words.
"I... I will take over my father's position. Spend my days working with the patrols and spending my nights attempting to forget about her. Maybe travel like my father did and lose myself on a ship and never return. I will remove myself from her life, and it would be as if we never had anything." My heart was racing, my skin was cold and I felt like fainting. Would he really say no? "What will it take for you to say yes?"