| November 24 |
11:00am
"So how long have you been seeing him?" Haven asked as she braided my hair. After much convincing, she agreed on doing small knotless braids. I played with the strings of my sweatshirt as a smile graced my lips.
"Well not long but we've known each other for quite awhile" I leaned my head back as her request.
"You know I haven't seen you this giddy for anyone before, he must really be special" she spoke. In my past relationship, I never got treated the way Myles has unless my father counts. He spoils me like crazy. Even though he is mean to everyone, he has a huge soft spot for me.
I sighed "I know and it's scaring me"
"Why's that?" I shrugged trying to think of words to formulate and express.
"It's just that I'm use to people not staying in my life, except my father and Levi of course" when she hummed in response I continued talking.
"I wonder so much on the what ifs, like if he will stop finding me attractive or realize he doesn't want a relationship with me" she parted the next section of my hair.
"We'll let me ask you this— Do you love him?" I felt the nervousness creep into my stomach as I pondered on those four words. Some will say it was way too soon to love someone. With the way he makes me feel and how he treats me gives me literal butterflies everyday.
"I think I do" I mumbled.
"And you're afraid he won't feel the same?" She asked. I nodded.
"He means so much to me and I just don't wanna lose another important person in my life" her squeal knocked me out of my thoughts.
"Aww babe, you have to tell him. From the small encounter I had with him, he couldn't keep his eyes off of you" I turned around looking up at her as she smiled deeply at me. A blushed covered my face.
"Everyone saw it Ky, his focus was only you during the whole encounter with everyone" I turned back around as I grabbed my legs.
"How should I tell him?" These are questions I would ask Honey but given that we haven't spoken since the skating rink.
"Whatever way that makes you comfortable" I nodded as the room grew silent. Her trying to finish my head as I was deep in my thoughts.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, what's up?" I twiddle with my fingers.
"Do you know anyone who can customize chains?" An idea popped in my mind as I thought of the best way to tell him.
* * * * *
My grandmother always love having Thanksgiving outside like it's not cold. Thankfully the bipolar weather worked in our favor. It wasn't too cold and not too hot. We had a range of games set up, tons of picnic tables. Candy by Cameo blasted from the outdoor speakers. My dad as well as a few of my uncles were doing their famous two steps and using the rag hanging from their shoulders as a prop.
"Ahh shit na' , y'all youngins know nothing about this" my uncle Q said as they all danced in a line. I shook my head with a chuckle as I watched them all enjoy themselves.
"It's like—what" my dad said as he smack his hand on the ground and hopped up quick. He definitely gonna feel that in the morning.
"Don't hurt 'em Mikey" my nana yelled out with a smile as she swayed in her rocking chair. I sipped on my caprisun as I danced to myself. I loved being around my family, they really brought the extrovert out of me.
"Damn when we gonna eat" Enzo asked rubbing his stomach. I let out a laugh. We never run on time, they said we was gonna eat at 2 and it's currently 4; food still not finished.
"Like a solid 7pm" Haven said with a pout. I sighed feeling my stomach slowly decaying. The little kid drinks was doing nothing for the persistent hunger.
"Y'all need to go out there and play and get off them phones" Enzo mom, Akita said. He sucked his teeth locking his phone.
"Here she go" me and haven started laughing.
"Why you not going?" He asked her.
"Cause I'm grown child, these knees don't work the same" I shook my head. No matter had old you get, you will always be considered a child in their eyes.
"Alright let's get our annual obstacle course going, we need some team captains" my Uncle Q said. I sighed. Every year, they host an obstacle course since my grandma owns a lot of land. No one was volunteering, so my Uncle took the initiative to choose for us.
"Since y'all like to compete against each other, Kyrie and Enzo is team captains" I groaned looking over at him, seeing a wide smirk on his face. We stepped in front of everyone to see who would be drafted on our teams. I personally wanted none of the little kids.
We went back and forth picking who we wanting on our teams. Since I was able to go first, my team was very promising. I had a good feeling we were going to do well.
"Alright so each person will go through the course and come back to tag the next person in order finish the first part, Then as a team you have to put together the jumbo puzzle pieces and answer the riddle it has on it. Lastly it'll be a three leg race back to to Nana" my Uncle Q explained.
"Unc you been watching too much Survivor" Enzo said causing me to laugh. I was thinking the same thing. I already don't wanna do this, now he got us doing extra shit.
"Hush Enzo" he said laughing. I shook my head as I squatted down next to Enzo waiting for them to say we can start.
"Go" we rushed off towards the tree where the obstacles were. I ran up the inclined log as quick as possible as Enzo was right behind me.
"Slow poke" I stuck my tongue out and gripped the rope swinging over the small drought.
"Just cause you ran track don't mean nothing" he said behind me. I let out a laugh as I made my rounds to get back to my team. Enzo was left in the dust as I ran full speed to haven, who hand was waiting to be tagged.
As haven was running to start, Enzo sped past her to tag his next teammate. The competitiveness crept out as I cheered for everyone to move fast and race back. All the older adults was watching and cheering everyone on.
"Alright come on y'all, me and haven will work on the top" I said to my other cousins. We had a great head start against the other team. As we working on piecing the puzzle together, they just got started.
I can be made
And I can be broken
My resolve is the strongest
When I am spoken
What am I?
We all stared at the riddle after we finished the puzzle trying to figure out what it was. My uncle Q stood near by to let us know if we were correct or not. I didn't even notice had dead silent everyone got as I finally thought of an answer.
"Is it a prom— Mom" I spoke glued in place. I felt my chest heave up and down as she stared at me with a huge grin.
"You have some nerve showing your face here" My nana spoke with pure rage as she walked in her direction. My eyes were glued on hers, I haven't seen her since I was 8.
"What are you doing here" my dad quickly hugged me as he stared at her. I felt as if my body couldn't move. Everyone looked just as surprised as I did. She didn't look the same one we dropped off at the rehab center. She looked better.
"How dare you" my aunt Katrina said pointing her finger.
"To see my daughter, seeing as you all have been hiding her from me" she moved her gaze back at me as she tried to step closer.
"Don't you dare take another step" Enzo said as he appeared on the other side of me.
"Enzo baby, how you been. You're so much older looking since the last I saw you" she smiled at him. Haven grabbed my hand giving me a squeeze in hopes of calming me down.
"Kyrie, did you miss me?" She said with the same smile on her face. I felt hot tears stream down my face. I was definitely hyperventilating. I had dreams of being able to see her again and trying for a relationship. I knew the way she treated me and hurt my dad, I should not have even considered something like that.
"I thought you- you was dead" I mumbled the last words. When we didn't hear anything from her for a year or two. My dad called the rehab center to find out she never stayed and checked in. I thought she may have overdosed on a sidewalk somewhere.
"I went to get better to be with you" she said smiling wide. She looked so healthy and filled with joy until I saw two other figures walk around the side of the house. My hope to rekindle our flame blew out. There stood a man that was not too much older than my own father and a child who looked to be 4. That's when I realized her belly sticking out. My dad rubbed my shoulders as he planted a kiss on my head. I could tell he was just as hurt as I was. To see her with a new family and finally having plenty of kids my dad couldn't supply her.
"Evelyn you need to leave" his voice dropped a few octave as I knew he was indeed hurt and infuriated. He loved my mom dearly and always wanted them to have a future again once she was clean.
"No-" I broke free from everyone grasp and ran like hell into the house. I refuse to look back as my dad kept calling my name. The tears continued to fall as I searched for someone's keys.
"Angel- No you do not get to call me that" I turned around quickly seeing my mother standing there rubbing her belly.
"Ky please, let us talk. Give me a moment to explain" I shook my head. I continued to search for my dad keys.
"There's nothing to explain. You can't just pop back up in my life because you finally got your shit together" she furrowed her eyebrows.
"I waited days, weeks, years for a phone call that you were okay. Radio silence was all I got in the return. You abandoned us after Reign had passed. You act as if you was the only one hurting from her loss. While you was busy shooting it up, dad had to provided for me as a father and as a mother" she scoffed.
"How dare you speak to your mother that way. I gave you life and provided for you"
"All you provided for me Evelyn was the fear of never being good enough" she rolled her eyes in response.
"Your father raised you to be— to be so ungrateful. You should be thrilled to see your mother" I raised my hand to her face shaking my head.
"I thought I would be but my mother died a long time ago" I spat. I grabbed the keys and rushed out the front door not once looking back at the women I always dreamed of seeing again. I wiped away the tears that fell from my eyes as I hopped into my dads truck. I had no destination in mind but I had to just get away from family at the moment.
Myles🥵
Ky can you answer (6:58pm)
I need you please!! (7:00pm)
Saint Francis Memorial (7:30pm)
My heart dropped as I read the various messages Myles sent me over an hour ago. I rushed putting the truck in drive as I peeled down the road as different negatives crossed my mind.
8:50pm
"Hey, hey what's happening" I stopped my pacing as I seen Kyrie rushing into the waiting room with concern all over her face. I pulled her into a hug burying my face into her neck. She rubbed my back as tears fell down my face. This wasn't how I planned to spend my Thanksgiving break.
"It's Bennie" I said through a shaky breath. She pulled away looking at me. I could see the stained tears on her face. I grabbed her face examining her.
"Were you crying?" I asked. She gave me a closed lip smile.
"We will worry about my problems later, what happened to Bennie" I grabbed her hand as we walked to the direction of the room. I felt my chest tightening as we got closer to Room 168.
Once we walked in, Bennie was laying in bed with a breathing mask on and various needles sticking his arm. Sienna laid in bed with him refusing to move. She cried her self to sleep in that very position.
"Oh my gosh what happened?" Ky asked. Seeing Bennie like this was the reason I was pacing in the waiting room.
"There's a part of my past I haven't told you— I didn't want you to look at me differently" she rubbed my back as took seat on the couch. I looked over at Sienna sleeping as I thought back to what happened.
We was walking back inside the house after spending the day together, house hopping. I wanted to give them some time away from our Lunatic father. Smiles were on all of our faces as we laughed at a recent joke told.
"You think you can just take my kids out of my fucking house" I jumped as my dad walked around the counter with his arms folded. As a instinct, I pushed the both of them behind me.
"We just went to eat and spend some time outside" I spoke keeping my eyes on him. I could feel Sienna trembling from behind me. I furrowed my eyebrows as I turned to see she was having a small panic attack. Bennie quickly hugged her trying to calm her down.
"Listen boy" my dad pointed his dirty nub finger in my face as his breath reeked of alcohol.
"I got a call this morning that you visited Gwen" I cocked my head to the side.
"First I can't take me siblings no where and now I can't visit my own mother" I asked with a mug.
"I told you to stop going to that facility, you just never fucking listen" my dad believed that visiting my mother was only making her condition worse.
"No, just admit that you don't want her diagnosis to be true" he gritted his teeth.
"You never know when to close that mouth of yours"
"And you could never accept the truth" I felt his hand connect with my face as Sienna screamed out for him to leave me alone.
"Dad please, Myles didn't do anything" Bennie said through a shaky breath.
"Shut up before I teach you both another little lesson" my heart shattered hearing those words. I looked back at my siblings seeing them both shaking from fear.
"They seem to resemble you way too much, those lessons worked for awhile until you left and came back with a mouth to big" I scoffed feeling myself boiling with rage.
"You're sick, how could you do that to your own kids. Mom would be ashamed of the man you are"
"You leave her out of this, you know nothing of my wife" I shook my head breathing heavy.
"Does your 'wife' know you married her best friend" I guess that was the last straw as he charged straight for me. I was ready for whatever he wanted to bring. In a blink of a eye, Bennie jumped in front of me. I couldn't move fast enough before my dad started beating on him.
I looked over at Bennie feeling like everything was my fault. I should've never left in the first place.
"Hey Myles, listen it's not your fault" a tear fell down my cheek as I moved my gaze upon her. It was time to tell her the detail I was most embarrassed about.
"When I was younger, my dad would teach me these 'little lessons' to keep me in my place if I acted out" She raised an eyebrow waiting for me to continue. I played with my chin hair as I stared at the ground.
"He- he touched me in places he shouldn't have" I felt a tear fall down my face.
"Every time he got drunk or got in an argument with my stepmom, he would teach me a little lesson" I could see how heartbroken she looked as I kept talking. She caressed my face as the tears kept falling. I was never this emotional in front of anyone. I always avoided on expressing my feelings or talking about my childhood trauma.
"What's wrong with me?" I whispered as she wiped my tears away.
"Nothing is wrong with you" She said as she continue rubbing my face. I could tell she was trying to hold back her tears. She sat on my lap as she pulled me into a hug. I silently cried into her shirt.
"Why did he have to touch me in that way" she continued rubbing my back. I could hear her sniffling.
"That's when I decided to start using Xanax as a way to get away from my sad reality. One day I had enough and I chugged them all" a tear fell from her eye as she kept her gaze on me.
"I had thoughts of doing it again until you made me feel like I deserve to be here. A reason I should stay alive" she's gave a smile as she kissed my forehead.
"I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you" She spoke as she leaned back to look at me. I nodded as we kept looking at each other. She made me feel comfortable in being vulnerable around her. She leaned down and kissed my lips and then my cheek before pulling me into another hug.
"I'm sorry for crying" I said as she raised an eyebrow.
"Why are you apologizing" I wrapped my arms around her as she rubbed my hair.
"Men are not suppose to cry" I mumbled. she looked down at me with a confused look.
"Who told you that? You are allowed to cry, okay?" I nodded as I laid my head on her chest. We laid in a comfortable silence as I was deep into my thoughts.
"I was embarrassed to tell you because I felt it made me less masculine" I wiped my eyes as she gave me a small smile.
"If anything it shows me just how strong you are" the moment finally felt right.
"I love you" I spoke as she finally gave me the biggest smile.
"I love you more" she kissed my lips several times making me laugh.
* * * *
"Damn this is nice" I said looking around the empty apartment. Levi's mom, Cheryl had helped me lock down on a apartment in my price range since she knew the owner here. Kyrie looked around nodding her head in approval.
"And it's all yours" she said with a smile as she pushed my brother wheelchair. For weeks I have been working on a way to move my siblings out. I finally got my blessing.
"Thanks ma, I really appreciate it" I said pulling Cheryl into a hug.
"Of course, if you ever need anything don't be afraid to call me" I smiled nodding as I kept looking around. I can't believe I could call this place mine. I had settle on a two bedroom since it was cheaper and my siblings would have a room to stay in. Since the first incident with my dad this year, I have been working hella hours and saving up to be able to afford a place like this.
"I know it's not much" I turned to my siblings who had a huge grin on their faces.
"Bubba it means a lot" Sienna said as she skipped around the spacious living room.
"Y'all okay with sharing a room?" I asked. They both nodded. The location was in range of my school and close to the bus stop to take them to school as well. Bennie had to stay in the hospital for about a week until he able to get out. During that time, I secured both of them a bed to sleep in and some groceries. Although I didn't have a couch yet, I made sure their room set up first.
"Y'all go get settled in, I'll cook for y'all later" Ky said as sienna pushed Bennie wheelchair in the direction of their room. She turned to look at me as she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Did you tell them about what you plan on doing" I shook my head. I was currently in the works of getting custody of both of them while my dad is being investigated. If everything works in my favor, I can finally sleep knowing that they can no longer get hurt.
"Once it's finalized I will" I leaned down capturing her lips.
"I gave you a week, I've noticed your mood shift. What happened on thanksgiving?" We walked to my room as she fiddled with her fingers.
"Well I saw my mom" she spoke. My room was empty except the blow up bed and nightstand that held a few crumbled papers and water bottles.
"She looked so healthy and clean but she brought her new family over"
"Did she say why she decided to pop up" She shook her head.
"I don't know her reasoning on why she choose now to pop up but I refused to let her explain" I nodded.
"I would rather not talk about it anymore, if that's okay"
"That's totally fine, we could cuddle. Hopefully the air mattress doesn't deflate" she let out a laugh as she sat her phone down on the dresser
"What's this?" She asked unraveling one of the crumbled pieces. I cursed under my breath for not throwing those away.
"Trash, you wasn't suppose to see it" I said trying to take it out of her hand but she stopped me.
"It this one of your poems" she asked with a smirk as she looked over the words. I rubbed the back of my neck as I watched her scan it.
To:Kyrie🦋
I often wonder why you have me so intrigued,
You make my heart feel less empty,
I often wonder how to tell you what I feel,
Since as a man I was taught to never express myself,
But I know this unfamiliar feeling is very real,
You bring me a sense of ecstasy,
A feeling I thought I never deserved,
I often wonder what I love the most about you,
Since everything about you reminds me of a butterfly,
Beautiful,
Carefree,
Kind,
Then I wonder how to make you mine,
How to ask you to be my girlfriend,
A question that has been long overdue.
She looked up as I could see tears trying to fall out of her eyes. "Sorry I'm very emotional" I chuckled wiping her tear away.
"This isn't the way I planned on asking you or telling you how I feel about you"
"That poem was corny as hell, I wrote it when I was higher than a kite" She chuckled glancing at the piece of paper.
"I love it"
"I guess since you already read it, Will you be my girlfriend?" I asked causing her to look up at me. She nodded with a huge smile.
"Yes" I leaned down and kissed her lips
"I had it all planned out the way I wanted to make us official" she started laughing.
"I didn't care how you asked me, my answer will always be yes" I smirked.
"So if it was in a McDonald's parking lot, you would've been okay with that?" I joked. She sucked her teeth laughing.
__________________________________
This book is coming to end soon🥲, I hope you all are enjoying it. At the end of the book I'll do a Q&A if anyone has any questions.
Sorry for any mistakes
Please leave feedback
~BR££