Up top is the Zach Sang Interview.
2014
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"Need some help?" I stopped mid movement and looked sharply behind me.
He was crawling inside the tent.
"Shit you scared me. Make a sound next time Jesus Christ! You need a bell around you." We both laughed as I adjusted the blanket.
I'm starting to sweat.
"And no its okay. This was the last thing." I grabbed all the electronics from the ground and put them in a pile on the blanket.
"This is really nice." He stopped for a second to look around.
"Like really nice." He looked back at me and I shrugged my shoulders.
"This is my little 'sorry for being busy the entirety of last week' surprise thing." I said but sounded more like a question.
"So surprise." I said and opened my arms up for hug. He smiled and hugged me.
Oh my god why does he have to smell so nice?
I really, really, really hope he can't feel how hard my heart is hitting my ribcage right now.
"I missed you ass." he said as he pulled in a little closer. I was expecting him to pull away but he kept going.
"I missed you too." Yeah right.
I started to let go when he tightened his grip.
"Wait! I haven't seen you in so long!" And basically crushed my ribs.
"Ow!" He laughed and let go. We both sat down again. I rubbed my forearm.
"Damn bitch relax on me. You've been at the gym, not me." He grabbed the bag of chips and opened them.
"Oh shit, did I actually hurt you? I'm sorry. I guess I really don't see the results of the gym until I actually try." He raised his eyebrows at me and looked at my arm. I rolled my eyes.
"No you didn't. But the next time that happens, I'm just gonna end up snapping in half. So go easy on me. I'm not Lyall, or Matt. I don't have a penis." I snickered.
"Okay but why do you have to say that last part?" He laughed out loud and almost choked on a chip.
"I'm just saying! Girls are delicate. In all aspects." He looked at me and straighten up his posture.
"Speaking of girls, I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want first?" I looked at him and widened my eyes.
"Oh no. Give me the bad news first. Lets get it out of the way." I turned my body towards him and gave him my undivided attention.
Well at least I'm not nervous for myself anymore, but now I'm anxious about the bad news. I hope its not too bad.
"Lauren and I broke up."
My mouth fell open a little in complete shock.
That was fast.
Say something.
Anything.
Don't make this weird.
Speak sentences.
Say words.
Make a sound!
Do something!
"What happened?" It took everything in me not to jump up and down right now. I just crossed my arms to try and hide my excitement. I can't show a thing. Especially react positively to someone saying this is bad news.
He sighed.
"The good news kinda led to the bad news." I furrowed my eyebrows and tilted my head.
"How is that possible? What's your good news then?" Damn this boy had tea and he kept it all from me. I guess he wanted to see my reaction in person.
"The good news is that they want to start interviewing me. Like for real this time. I did the Zach Sang interview and it was so cool. It was so real. A studio, the headsets, the microphones, I was like wow. This is getting real. And that was the first time I went to New York alone. Could never do that with Magcon. They want to see me perform and they want me to come out with more music after Life of the Party did really well. I'm going on tour soon. It can be a lot when I think about it, but its real. This isn't imagined. This isn't my bedroom anymore." I got up and hugged him.
"Holy shit! Holy shit! For reals this time!" I pulled back to look at his face and pulled him in for a hug again.
"This is fucking awesome dude! What the fuck! Look at you! Getting the worlds attention already! I could cry!" I let go and sat down again.
"Okay, oh my god. That's fucking great ass news holy shit. Thanks for not telling me by the way. I had to find your first ever interview on Twitter!" I threw a package of cookies at him.
"I wanted you to be surprised!" He limply threw them back at me.
"Wait, so how did the good news get you two to break up? How do they correlate?" I crossed my arms again.
Please don't make me confront her about this.
"I'm gonna be coming back and fourth from New York all the time. And sometimes it'll be farther than New York. I didn't think it would be fair for her to have to put things on hold for me. I don't want her to wait around for me. I felt super bad every time I told her I was busy. But, I can't let the music producers down. They really believe in me." He looked down and ate another chip.
"Okay, I hear you, but can you explain a little about the part where you said she'll have to put things off? What kind of things?" I grabbed the laptop and turned it on.
"Well the biggest thing would be school. I already talked to my parents about it and I'm gonna finish high school online. So things like that. I'm not gonna graduate with you guys. I can still go to prom and the senior camp, but that's about it." He shrugged and still had his head down.
I moved the laptop from my lap and I sat closer to him.
Did I just hear him correctly?
"What?"
He looked at me and furrowed his eyebrows.
"What?" he asked. I don't think I stuttered.
"What do you mean you're not going to be able to graduate with us? Since when? I thought our school had that online program and those kids still walk across stage with us too. Why can't you?"
"My parents want to pay for a really good online school that's not our school. I don't know. Apparently the one I'm going to is much more flexible and they offer more one on one sessions with tutors and teachers. That's what my mom said, I'm not too sure." He didn't look away from my eyes. I think he was trying to see how I felt as I was feeling them. But I don't even know what to say or think.
"I know the attention is going to get us more known, but I already told my parents no matter what happens or how rich and famous I get, we're never selling or getting rid of my house next door. Its too precious." He chuckled but I just tilted my head. The confusion is getting worse.
I was still silent after my "what." I still haven't said a word.
"This is a good thing though. It gives me a lot more time to focus on my music and what kind of style or sound I wanna do. I'm still not sure, so I have to figure that out."
I just sat there and stared trying to process all this information. I haven't even opened any of my snacks yet.
"Please say something. This is one of the only times I don't want to hear myself talk anymore." He chuckled but as I didn't join in, he got a little more serious. He sighed again.
"I know what you're going to say. But my mom and I were on the same page about the whole school stuff. Yeah, I won't have some of the normal high school experiences like you're going to have, but what I want to do isn't normal. The kind of career I want isn't very forgiving, so when the opportunity presents itself, we're taking it." I can't argue with that.
"I'm just trying to process all of this. How long was I gone? Because with how much new information I'm getting, its a little overwhelming." I sat back where I was originally sitting and laid down.
He got up and laid down next to me.
"You don't have to tell me twice. That's exactly how I felt, and still feel. Its fine when I get overwhelmed, but when it affects other people, that's when there's a lot more added pressure. I didn't want to drag her down with me if anything bad happened. So we both thought it would be best to stay acquaintances. Not fully friends just yet, but we aren't going to completely ignore each other." Damn, where is Shawn and who is this grown ass man next to me?
I looked at him in disbelief.
"Who the fuck are you?" I laughed and sat up. I perched up on my right elbow and stayed looking at him.
He stayed laying down but picked his head up to look at me.
"What do you mean?" He said laughing.
"That was so mature of you bitch. Wow. Look at you. I'm proud of you." I held up my hand for a high five and he fived me.
"Thanks dude. That actually means a lot coming from you." I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What the hell? Why?" He picked his head up again.
"I thought you were gonna get mad at me. I didn't really mention anything about leaving school, so I thought you were going to freak out." He said and sheepishly smiled.
"Yeah well I would have if I didn't know how much you actually wanted this. They see something in you that many don't have. That's got to count for something." I shrugged and laid down again. Now we were both lying down when my stomach rumbled.
"You haven't eaten have you?" He asked and turns his head towards me.
Now its my turn to sheepishly smile.
"You just heard your answer bro. No need to ask." I laughed out loud and got up. I walked to where the candy and chips were but none of it looked appealing. I wanted a meal, not a snack.
"Wanna come inside my house for some Popeyes? We have leftovers from yesterday." I walked over to where he was laying down and looked down at him.
He dropped the chips he was eating and lifted his hand for me to grab and pull him up. With a groan he got up.
"You had me at Popeyes." And we walked into the house.
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Hi guys!! I hope you loved the first book! It has been such a journey but I'm so excited to grow with the second book just like I did with this first one! The first was more on the vanilla and innocent side which is how I wanted to portray a coming-of-age story, but now as she's older, the second book is how they are as adults with mature themes, language, and sex heheheheheh I'm so excited!! I've never tried writing a smutty book but hey I'm going to try! I hope you all want to know just as much as I want to write! Let me know your thoughts :)
Just a little PSA: I am going to be using Shawn's name but if I'm completely honest, I don't really like Shawn all that much anymore. Even if that's true, I will still use his name and voice in the story but I picture someone else as Shawn Mendes in my head lmao
I thank each and every one of you for all your support and I hope to see you guys on the next book called When You're Ready
I added the first 2 chapters just to give you guys a preview of what the second book will consist of :)
<3 Love you all!
9/15/22