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march 2004
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Rose had decided to finish her semester in Fjällbacka. Her professors didn't fight with the matter since they knew Rose was a good student and knew she was going to do everything she has to until the exams, which she will do in England eventually.
Just yesterday, Rose had spent her afternoon with Lucius and then later she and her family had dinner with the Malfoys and Blacks. It had been awkward and Rose had excused herself from the table as soon as she had finished. Then she had locked herself to her room for the rest of the evening to study which wasn't even an excuse ― she truly did finish reading a novel signed for her by her professor.
Rose was finishing her assignment when she heard footsteps approaching her. She looked around and saw Theo.
"Am I interrupting?"
Rose looked over her shoulder to see Theo approaching her. She shook her head and set her book aside.
"Just finished," said Rose.
Theo sat next to Rose and placed a kiss on her cheek.
"So I just saw Lucius and Narcissa," said Theo, making Rose frown. "Draco left to see Astoria in London."
"That's one less Malfoy to worry about," muttered Rose.
Theo rolled his eyes. "Yeah but ummm Narcissa asked when you will spend time with her..."
A groan escaped Rose's lips and she tilted her head back before turning to look at Theo again. She knew spending time with Narcissa was inevitable ― she had promised to spend time with Lucius, which she had done and she had promised to spend time with Narcissa. She hasn't done this yet.
"I guess the day after tomorrow," shrugged Rose. "I need a break from them for today but I don't want to keep doing this too much longer."
"You think you will be okay then?" Asked Theo and tucked a stray hair from Rose's face behind her ear. "Being alone with Narcissa."
Rose sighed heavily. "I am most likely going to make her cry and then I will get all defensive and make her cry even more. Then she will most likely start to talk about how she was going to raise me and how she blames herself and all."
"So you have no expectations that it could go fine?" Theo wondered.
Rose didn't want it to go well. Her afternoon with Lucius hadn't been as horrible as she had thought it would be and that made her a little insecure, a little worried of her upcoming decision.
"Things didn't go so poorly with Lucius, why do you think they will go so with Narcissa?"
"Because after all, Narcissa was rude. I mean really rude. She even said she didn't like my company but this was of course before the whole truth thing but still," Rose said and placed her head on Theo's shoulder.
"I need it to go poorly so that I won't have to second guess my already made decision."
Theo didn't say anything although he couldn't help but notice the nervousness in Rose's voice. Over the time, he has seen how her hatred towards the Malfoys has faded ― it wasn't completely gone but it wasn't as strong as before. Theo could tell that Rose was struggling with her feelings and he felt helpless and useless for not being able to give her any advice.
"You really are going to kick them out of here, huh?" Theo commented.
"I have to. In order to move on with my life, I have to get them out of my life. Wallowing in the past and what could have been, it's not healthy. I'm tired and angry all the time. I have never been like this and I don't like it. I don't like this new me. I want to go back to who I used to be. The overachiever who gets drunk at pubs and sings ABBA. When have I last sang ABBA? Or had fun?"
Rose looked into Theo's eyes and he could tell she was actually asking him when was the last time she was truly happy. She hasn't been in awhile, it was true. She's been stressed, tired and angry. Upset and miserable even.
"I just want this to end and I know I could have ended this a long time ago by just forcing them to stay away but I just couldn't do that. Say whatever you want but I am not heartless. And as for their feeling, I do care, in a way," Rose said.
Theo cupped Rose's face between his palms. "You are not heartless, Rosie. I have never thought so. I have been feeling torn about this whole thing because you are my family Rose, but for a very long time, so were the Malfoys. But not once, have I considered your feelings towards them being heartless. You are a very good person, the fact that you didn't force them to stay away right away proves it."
Rose bit against her tears ― she wasn't one to cry. She hated crying, it made her feel so out of control. Like she wasn't in power anymore.
"I don't like breaking people's hearts..." whispered Rose. "And I know my decision will break theirs. God, they are horrible people but they aren't good either but they lost a baby. They lost it and then found out that the baby never died, and has lived her entire life without them."
"It seems that they are victims as much as I am."
Rose drew in a sharp breath and exhaled shakily. Her hands were shaking and her bottom lip was quivering the way a child's does when they have fallen off of their bike.
"Fucking hell..." muttered Rose.
"It's okay Rosie," Theo assured but Rose shook her head.
"No it's not but I will manage," said Rose and moved her face from Theo's hold. "While there's nothing I can do about this right now, I can go to Rolf's, drink beer and sing ABBA."
Rose stood up and offered her hand to Theo. "Will you be my date?"
Theo chuckled and kissed Rose's hand. "It would be my honor."
They jumped on Jacob's pickup truck which he had borrowed for Rose to you for the day. Rose went behind the wheel and drove her and Theo to Rolf's ― a local bar by the harbor. It was the place where everyone went if they wanted to have a little fun.
Rose needed a time off. Although now she was in Fjällbacka instead of in Cambridge, she hasn't exactly relaxed at all. Malfoys were in her hometown, her mothers were stressing over everything and everyone, and Inez ― Rose's confidant was in England ― which meant that Rose couldn't complain to her all the time.
The drive to Rolf's was short or at least it felt it now that Rose was ready to let go of her feelings and just have fun. She knew it was a karaoke night since it was a Thursday. It was always a karaoke night on Thursdays at Rolf's.
Once they have arrived, Rose parked the car and called Jacob to let him know that he needs to most likely come and pick her and Theo up when they leave. Rose was responsible and wasn't going to drive or let Theo drive. Alcohol or not, Theo was a horrible driver. Back when Rose didn't know about Theo's past with magic, she thought he was just a poor driver but now she figured that he has probably never drove before he came to Fjällbacka.
"Rosie Joy!" Rolf, the bar owner grinned when he saw Rose and Theo walked in.
Fjällbacka was a small town and because of that and because of Rose's mothers works (Ellen was a teacher and May a nurse) ― Rose was well-known.
"Hej Rolf. Hur mår du?" Rose smiled when Rolf hugged her.
"Look at you, speaking Swedish and all. But I'm good Rose. I hope you are too," said Rolf with his thick Swedish accent. "I thought you were suppose to be in school though."
Rose chuckled rather nervously. "Yes well certain things have come up and the university agreed to let me finish the semester from here."
"Aah. Well England's loss is Fjällbacka's fortune," said Rolf and turned to Theo. "And Theodore! Good to see you boy."
"Likewise Rolf," said Theo and shook his hand.
"Now go and have a drink or two. The karaoke starts in thirty minutes," said Rolf while showing Rose and Theo to their table.
Rose and Theo ordered their drinks and they were brought to them in no time.
They weren't the only ones in the bar and the sound of people chatting in Swedish made Rose feel very homey. The smell of the ocean just outside made Rose miss the summer nights, sailing around the coast with her family ― all that happened before Mr Kane became Abraxas and the Malfoys became more than just Theo's foster family.
"Do you ever think what life could be like? It the hadn't found out?" Theo asked when setting his drink down.
Rose laughed a little. "Easy. It would be easy. I wouldn't have to fight with these strange feelings I'm having."
Theo nodded.
"But most of all I think about what it could had been like, if Abraxas had never taken me," admitted Rose.
This surprised Theo. He had no idea Rose's been thinking this ― she's been so much in denial that it never occurred to Theo that she's been thinking this.
"Really?" He asked, his dark eyes wide with confusion and surprise.
"Not all the time but sometimes. Especially after I have seen them, I think what life could had been like. Now I don't to change my past. I love my life with mums and I wouldn't change it for the world. But I could have lived a different life and sometimes, now that I know the truth, I think about it."
"I never thought of it when I didn't know anything about my past. I didn't think what my life could had been like if my biological mother had lived and father wasn't an arse. I never thought of that life because I never knew them. But now I know the Malfoys, to a certain extent and it makes me wonder."
Theo leaned his elbows against the table and placed his face between his palms so he could only look at Rose.
"Do you want to share?" Theo asked.
Rose rolled her eyes. "Sure, it's nothing too interesting."
"So I'm quite sure that Lucius would had spoiled Lyra, or me in this case, rotten. Draco is spoiled and I think Lucius could never say no to his daughter. He would probably find a way to get his daughter a freaking unicorn if she wanted that. Narcissa, I bet she would be one of those fussing mothers but probably in the best way. She would gossip and just spend time with her daughter."
"She would want her daughter to be her best friend."
Rose reached for her beer and took a good sip.
"Draco wouldn't let his best friend date his sister," added Theo.
"That's true. Lucius wouldn't let his daughter date anyone until she's like forty or something. Narcissa would be the voice of reason, believe it or not."
"She kind of is," said Theo. "Whenever she can. But when it comes to family, she's a mess, really. A contained mess but a mess."
Rose's blue eyes danced with the dimmed lighting.
"She's a family woman for sure," she said. "Anyhow, that's pretty much all. Come now, let's go and sing."
"Oh no no no. I don't sing," Theo said back but Rose was already heading towards the karaoke machine. "Rosie, I don't sing!"
Rose just waved her hand. "Fine, I'll sing then. All by my lonesome."
As previously ― and often mentioned ― Rose was pretty good at everything she does and singing was one of her many talents. She didn't sing often though, only when she really felt like it. Like during a karaoke night. She has never wondered why she was good at it but lately she's began to wonder was Narcissa a good singer, or Lucius. Or perhaps Druella.
She's been questioning many of her talents lately ― were they just hers or did those talents ran in her blood.
"Okay so should I take a sad ballade or a very fun upbeat song?" Rose asked.
Theo had come to stand closer to Rose, leaning against one of the tables. He smiled at Rose's enthusiasm which he hasn't seen in awhile.
"Why not be wild and try something happy for a chance?" Theo smirked.
Rose chose an ABBA song which didn't surprise Theo at all. She has always been a big ABBA fan and has many times offered her opinion on how ABBA has songs for every occasion.
She sang several songs before deciding it was time for her to let her voice rest in case she needs to be mean and yell at Narcissa the next day. It was cruel but perhaps inevitable. The two women were too much alike to agree on anything.
After singing her songs and few more beers, Rose and Theo made the decision to leave Rolf's.
It was already dark once they got out but it was fine ― it was actually quite nice. Jacob had informed them that he will be there to pick them up at eleven and since it was only half past ten, Rose and Theo found a nice place by the harbor.
They laid down on the grass, under a sky full of stars. It was peaceful. The wind howled quietly and its softness was mixed with the sounds coming from Rolf's bar. Rose closed her eyes and tried to remember this moment, this feeling of calmness and serenity. A feeling where she had no guilt, she had no expectations to fulfill or no sadness.
"I'm sorry if walking out on the Malfoys will hurt your relationship with them," Rose said suddenly.
Theo turned to look at her. "What?"
"I know how much they mean to you and you have been caught in the crossfire. I'm sorry for that too. I hope my decision won't hurt us," sighed Rose.
"Hey, look at me," said Theo and Rose did so. "Nothing or no one is ever going to come between us. I promise you that. Who else would be able to handle your crazy life?"
Rose chuckled. "And who else would be able to handle your past trauma?"
"Exactly, Rosie. We are stuck with each other."
some cute rose and theo fluff 'cause next up is rose and narcissa's afternoon and oh boy that will be fun ;)
+ hur mår du means
how are you
this bitch speaks swedish