"Life was... better after that," Korra finished off, still not meeting Asami's gaze directly, "harder, but better. When I was able to walk on my own again I started having more hallucinations of myself... that's why I cut my hair like that, to differentiate between me and her." She explained. "And that's why Naga isn't here with us. Every time she was back in the south she got really depressed and anxious so I stopped bringing her with me." She then breathed in deeply, finally gathering the courage to look at Asami. "Are... you okay?"
Am I okay? Of course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be? Asami mused to herself. It's not like I sat here for the last hour or so listening to the most traumatic life story I've ever heard in my entire life. No biggie.
She shook herself to reality, feeling sort of like a zombie at this point. "Right, yeah, I'm fine, I'm just processing." She answered. "I uh... I have several questions."
"Oh," Korra blinked, "well, I'll be happy to answer anything I can."
"Cool, so um... first question; when you said you have back problems," Asami started awkwardly, "you actually meant that you have a fucking bullet in your spine?"
Korra stared at her for a second or two, before chuckling lightly. "Nah, they removed the bullet, silly."
"I'm silly? You described a spinal cord injury as 'back problems'!" Asami exclaimed.
"I mean... that's technically correct," Korra nervously rubbed the back of her neck.
"Well yeah, but..." Asami didn't even have the words to describe the confusion and shock she was experiencing at the moment. "...never mind."
"Are you... mad or something?" Korra asked, nervous.
"What? No, of course not, I'm just..." Asami trailed off. "I'm trying to peice it all together."
"Oh, okay then," Korra didn't seem all too relieved. She understood it though, it probably wasn't easy for her to share this.
"So, um, Naga is your... service dog?" Asami asked. "And before that, she was a tracker dog during the war?"
"Legally, she is still my service dog yes, even though I pretty much retired her at this point." Korra answered, " I'm still considered disabled by law so..."
"Really?" Asami asked, surprised. She didn't want to sound like a dick, but she never imagined Korra struggling like that. Maybe Asami was just closed minded, but it was an odd concept to grasp.
"Well, the recovery of temporary paralysis isn't exactly full," Korra explained awkwardly, "I still have episodes where I have really bad back pain, or sometimes my lower body is just abnormally stiff. It's not very frequent nowadays, and usually it's not too bad..."
"Oh," that was... shocking to say the least, she never expected something like this from Korra, she always seemed so... so very Korra. She didn't know how to explain it, but the way that Korra had handled herself around Asami had never made her question her physical shape. Maybe Korra was good at hiding it, but Asami felt like she is just as capable as she claims to be, even if now and then she needs a hand. "Can you prevent those?"
"It's chronic." Korra blankly stated.
"I know, that's not what I meant," Asami started massaging her temples, her head hurting from all of that new information, "I meant to ask if it's possible for you to do anything to make it better?"
Korra shrugged. "All the regular stuff," she said, "I have to do a lot of stretches before and after a weight-lifting related workout, and be careful with the exercises that I do and how much weight I use. Oh, and I have an orthopedic mattress, plus I do a lot of yoga and pilates and stuff like that."
"Holy shit," Asami mumbled, shcoked and sad and confused all in the same breath, "you do all of that, and still you're in chronic pain? That's..."
That's not fair.
"Usually I'm not really in pain," Korra said softly, "episodes where I'm really in pain are rare, though I actually had a really bad one recently. Like, the worst I've had in years."
"Really? When?" Asami questioned. "Did I already know you?"
Korra laughed. "I sure hope so, I slept on your couch the night before."
"Oh," Asami tried to think back, "was that the day–"
"After we made out drunk at a bar? Yeah, it was that one." Korra interjected, smirking.
"Um," Asami blushed, not having expected that. "Okay, I didn't know you remembered that..."
"I don't, you told me," Korra chuckled, "I guess you were pretty drunk when you did so..."
"I..."Asami was too stunned to speak. Not only she felt about a million things before this conversation took place, now she had to add embarrassment to the mix. "I'm sorry, I should've told you before."
"It really doesn't matter now," Korra waved her off, "I just thought... well, now that you know about... everything, I just thought that we talk about that day."
"Why?" Asami asked, confused.
"Other than me getting a really bad episode," Korra continued, disregarding her, "it was also the day, if you recall," suddenly she turned nervous, which was kind of adorable, "that you asked me out."
For a second, Asami really didn't understand why Korra was bringing that up, she asked Korra out, and Korra wasn't intrested. So, what? Was this her way of informing Asami that she still wasn't intrested? Or was she just trying to hurt Asami now? Plus, what did it have to do with anything they just talked about?
And than it hit her– she is really fucking stupid.
"Oh my God." She mumbled. "I thought you–"
"You though I was rejecting you," Korra completed with pursed lips.
"I am so sorry," Asami said, eyes wide, "I treated you like an ass for weeks!"
"I remember," Korra chuckled, "but it's okay, I get it. I just figured that if you already know..."
"Is that..." she kind of didn't want to know, but at the same time, she kind of had to know. "Is that the only reason as to why you said no that day?"
Korra blinked, than slapped her own forhead. "Holy shit, do I need to sleep with you for a third time for you to get the message? Because if so, I'll happily escort you back to my room."
Asami blushed furiously, once again. "What? It's a legitimate question!" She defended herself.
"Asami," Korra took Asami's hands in hers and looked deeply into her eyes, "I like you, okay? I liked you for a while now, and honestly I was just waiting for you to get over yourself–"
"Hey!" Asami pouted.
"-And stop being so godamn stubborn." Korra didn't even stop talking, she just looked at Asami with a soft smile. "Jokes aside, I really did like you for a long time. Even back then."
"Oh," Asami answered awkwardly.
"Oh?" Korra repeated, her smile dropping a tiny bit. "What does that mean?"
"It means we had gotten really off topic and I still have a bunch of questions for you, regarding everything you just told me." Asami clenched her eyebrows in sort of a confused frown.
"Oh." Korra said, disappointed.
"But also," Asami continued, "it means that I feel the same way."
At that, Korra let a small smile slip. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," Asami smiled back, "but please never say 'like' again, it sounds so damn childish."
"Would 'I quite fancy you my lady' sound more adult to you?" Korra teased.
Asami scrunched her nose. "It would definitely make you sound more like a princess, princess."
"Whatever, city girl," Korra winked, "what else did you want to ask me?"
"About a million things, I hope that's okay." Asami nervously mumbled.
"Go ahead." Korra gestured her to continue.
"Do you still have flashbacks like the ones you described?" Asami asked, concerned more than anything.
"I..." Korra trailed off, uncomfortably shifting in her seat. "Not as frequently as before, but yes."
"That must be rough," Asami worried her bottom lip.
"Yeah." Korra simply replied.
"What about Suro? The um... girl you saved? Isn't it her wedding?" She continued.
"Yeah, that's the one," Korra affirmed, "what about her?"
"Did you guys keep on touch?" Asami curiously asked.
"Well, we did, but it's been a while." Korra admitted, seemingly unhappy about it. "I love her like a sister, but we really haven't talked much the last year, other than me congratulating her on her engagement."
"Did she congratulate you on your engagement?" She sarcastically asked.
Korra cracked a smile. "No. How dare she?"
Asami smiled softly. "So, am I gonna have to change my mattress?" She lightheartedly joked.
Korra snorted. "We can cut yours with mine and glue them together." She replied with a grin.
"But what if I want to cuddle?" Asami questioned.
"Worth risking paralysis for." Korra said, all but serious.
Asami genuinely laughed, which felt weird. A few moments ago, she was ready to bawl her eyes out and repeatedly ask Korra if she was okay. But Korra was just so... goofy. Her injury, her experience in the war... all of those needed to be discussed at length, but right now? She just wanted to hold Korra close, they'd have time to talk through everything later. She just wanted to be here, with Korra, who admittedly had feelings for her, and laugh until her stomach hurts.
"I think..." Asami mumbled, massaging hee temples. "I think that's all of the questions I can fathom right now. I will probably have about a million more after I sleep well though."
"Does that mean I get to also ask you things about your past?" Korra asked.
Asami was kind of surprised by the question. "You want to know about my past? I think you pretty much know everything." She asked, confused.
"I barely know anything about you," Korra deadpanned, "you never tell me anything."
"That's... not true," or was it? She wasn't too sure. Usually she wasn't too keen on sharing, so it made sense that she wouldn't volunteer information about herself... but how bad could Korra question be? "Okay, ask me anything."
"Anything?" Korra narrowed her eyes. "No filters?"
Oh boy. "That's what I said, I guess." She mumbled.
"Okay," Korra folded her arms, "what's your favorite color?"
Asami gasped. "Now you really crossed a line." She sarcastically said.
Korra chuckled. "But seriously, I do have a bunch of questions to you."
"Go ahead," Asami nodded.
"So, firat of all," Korra leaned forward in her seat, "why did all of your friends say that we can't talk about your time in college?" She asked.
The question resembled a punch in the face for Asami. Why would her friends even phrase it like that? Of course Korra would be curious about it, who wouldn't be? If anyone told her that Korra had gotten injured in the war and refused to mention anything else, she'd become a fucking detective.
"B-because," she tried to compose herself, unsuccessfuly, "we don't talk about college."
"That's what they said too," Korra tilted her head, "but why?"
"No reason." Asami shook her head furiously. "I just don't like thinking about that time in my life. I was young, and I was stupid, and..."
"And what?" Korra asked, curious.
And he took advantage of it.
"Let's just say it wasn't great out there in Ba Sing Se," she simply answered.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Korra said genuinely.
She should tell Korra. Korra had just shared with her pretty much everything she had ever been through with her, and yet Asami was hesitant. Logically, she knew the whole thing with... that guy wasn't her fault, but she was so fucking ashamed of herself for not seeing what was happening until it was too late. Korra deserved to know, but Asami couldn't tell her.
"It's okay, it wasn't your fault," Asami shrugged, "it's just not easy being a sixteen year old in college, I guess." She felt stupid saying that, in comparison to Korra's past, everything she'd ever been through seemed so small. Her therapist would tell her to never compare one's troubles, but he wasn't here right now, and she couldn't really feel like her past issues were anything other than stupid.
Somehow, Korra mabaged not to comment on it. "It wasn't easy being a twenty year old in college too, if it makes you feel any better," Korra tried cheering her up.
Asami snorted. "And why is that?"
"Everyone around me was so... childish." Korra complained. "They were upset that the exam was too hard or that they had too many homework, it was seriously annoying. I always felt like they didn't know real problems."
Asami laughed. "You'd probably think all of my problems are stupid too."
You probably still do.
"I doubt it," Korra smiled, "how about you tell me your problems and we'll find out?"
Damn, she's sneaky.
"Well, you know almost everything," Asami shrugged, "I have a dead mom and I work my ass off without living, what's more is there?"
"Do you like your job?" Korra questioned.
Asami stared at her. Where was this coming from? Asami had never said something incriminating... did she? Because if her father found out...
"I guess so." She answered with a shrug. "Do you like yours?"
"Yeah," Korra answered without even hesitateting, "I really do. But I also chose it for myself, what about you? Did you get to choose your profession?"
Asami was dumbstruck. It was pretty amazing how easily Korra was able to pick up on stuff about her. Maybe it took her a while, but Korra had been through so much and Asami never really picked up on anything. So, maybe Korra was more observant then Asami gave her credit for, and maybe Asami was not as smart as she thought.
"I didn't. Of course I didn't." Asami stated the obvious. "But it's whatever, mechanical engineering is interesting and everything." Asami shrugged again.
"Yeah, but is it what you want to do for the rest of your life?" Korra questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Well..." Asami laughed nervously. "I guess so? I don't really have many options."
"Why is that?" Korra asked.
"Jee, what's gotten into you?" Asami mumbled.
Korra shrugged. "I wanna know more about you, that's it."
"I'll tell you everything," Asami promised, "but... maybe we should have this talk in the morning, instead?"
"It's seven AM." Korra raised an amused eyebrow.
"Seriously?" Asami blinked. "Damn, we've been talking for hours!"
"I mean... our late night activity had been pretty time consuming too." Korra winked at her. "We can go to sleep for as long as you'd like, but you have to promise to cuddle me the entire time."
Asami smiled brightly. "Deal."
And that's exactly what they did.
________
Asami woke up to gentle kisses on her forhead, and she just pretended to be asleep so that the kisses would never stop coming.
It only worked for a couple of seconds, unfortunately.
"Lunch is ready," Korra whispered softly in her ear, "you wanna wake up?"
Asami furiously shook her head, nuzzling closer towards Korra.
She chuckled in response. "You wanna stay here?"
Asami nodded.
"Okay," Korra answered, brushing a strand of Asami's hair behind her ear soothingly, "I'll be right back then, alright?"
Asami frowned. "If you move even for an inch," she threatened, her voice still hoarse from sleep, "I will literally end you."
Korra snorted out a laughter. "I'm hungry!"
"I'm comfy." Asami argued.
"You should wake up anyway, I wanna show you around and it's freezing cold after sunset." Korra answered. "Rise and shiiiiiiiine."
"The morning is seriously evil." Asami commented unhappily, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.
"It's a good thing that it's 2pm then." Korra joked. "Get uppp!"
"Wait," Asami suddenly had an exciting realization, "if youre showing me around, does it mean that we get to go on the funicular again?"
Korra raised both of her eyebrows, confused. "Seriously? You wanna get on that thing again?"
Asami nodded enthusiastically.
"What's so great about that hunk of junk anyways?" Korra chuckled. "It's really not that great."
"But it's such an interesting transport veichle!" Asami pouted. "Imagine how much effort was put into planning it! Of course, if I'd design it, I'd do it a bit differently... what? Why are you looking at me like that?"
Korra didn't tear away her eyes. She just kept smiling and staring, like Asami was a tiny kitten or something. "Nothing," she eventually said, "you're cute when you're nerding out."
Asami's face turned tomato red, to the point that she had to hide behind the blanket to keep Korra from noticing it. "Stoooop." She complained, voice muffled by the fabric.
"Never," Korra winked, "please, tell me how you'd design it differently."
"I..." Asami was still bashful, but if there was something she loved doing, it was designing not-so-normal transportation vechile. "I need to think about it." And by that, she meant that by night she'd have a fully detailed sketch ready. She loved designing odd mechanical pieces, like random rollercoaster and such. It was wayyyy more interesting than... well, cars.
"I can't wait," Korra smiled, "say..."
"Say what?" Asami asked.
"So, since I admitted to have a little bit of feelings for you," Korra said teasingly, "and you admitted to be head over heels for me–"
"I don't remember that unfolding this way." Asami answered, annoyed.
Korra laughed. "Whatever, since we admitted to have feelings for each other... does that mean I get to kiss you good morning?"
Asami smiled dreaming dreamingly. "Oh, you get to kiss me all right." She mumbled, pulling herself up to lean on her elbows and inching closer and closer to Korra, eyeing down her lips.
Then, when Korra's eyes fluttered shut, she backed out.
"But not now." She said sweetly, standing up. "C'mon, let's go to lunch, I'm starving."
"You'll be the death of me, city girl." Korra tried to sound bitter, but truthfully she was excited like a five year old.
After all, Asami said that she would get to kiss her. She couldn't wait to get to that.