Y/n walked into the door, Techno looked back at her from the couch. She had just gotten back from practice with Calvin. Last season just ended, but she's been working harder than ever. She placed her helmet on the counter. She pressed her hands against the counter, she was tired.
Techno walked up behind her, placing his hand on her back. "You're working too hard. You need to give yourself a break." This was the fifth time this week she came home like this. She sighed, "I'm fine."
She got up, walking upstairs and getting in the shower. Techno sighed, calling Calvin. "Hello?" He answered, "hey, Calvin. Got a minute?"
"Uh," Techno could hear him typing on a computer. "Yeah, I have some time. What's up?" He asked, the typing stopped. "It's about Y/n."
"What about her?" Calvin sounded confused, "everyday she comes home from practice she's exhausted, man." Techno was trying to listen upstairs to make sure Y/n wouldn't hear the conversation. "It's called hard work." His comment came off passive aggressive.
"She tired, Calvin." Techno sat on the couch, "are you trying to tell me how to couch my kid?" Calvin got a bit defensive, "no, I'm-" he cut Techno off. "Let's have this conversation face to face."
"That won't be necess—" He hung up on him, Techno rubbed his brow in frustration. Y/n walked back downstairs, her hair was wet and she was wearing a shirt and shorts. She came and sat down next to Techno, laying her head on his arm.
"Are you hungry?" He asked her, "no, I think I'm just going to go to bed in a second." She pulled her phone out. Quickly checking a few apps, she had no notifications from any friends, with that being said she really didn't have any friends of her own. She closed it, looking over to Techno's phone.
He was texting Calvin, "what are you guys talking about?" She asked, "he wants me to come watch your practice tomorrow." He felt Y/n's head leave the side of his arm. He looked at her, she was looking at him. She shook her head, "why not?" He asked, "you'll get mad at Calvin."
"Maybe he should be nicer when I'm there then." Techno said, "don't be mean to him. He's just trying to help me." Techno nodded, "I understand."
****
After Techno finished everything he had to finish he headed to Y/n's practice. Once he stepped onto the field he immediately saw Y/n, she was laying down on the track. Her stomach moved up and down quickly. Techno walked over to her, kneeling. She was dripping with sweat, she covered her eyes to block out the sun. Her racing suit was covered in dirt. She sat up, Techno handed her a water to which she immediately took a drink of. He kissed her messy hair, "Y/n. Break over. Techno go sit in the stands, no need to distract her." Calvin said. Y/n got up, slipping her helmet on. Techno grumbled as he walked to the stands.
*****
"Damn it, Y/n!" Techno shot up from the yelling, he had fell asleep watching Y/n run the countless amount of laps. "This shouldn't take 7 seconds!" Calvin was yelling at her, Techno walked down onto the field. Y/n got out of her car, immediately taking her helmet off. Calvin grabbed it from her since she wasn't listening to him.
"Y/n!" He threw the helmet passed her. "You need to be faster!" He screamed, Y/n held her tongue and nodded her head. "Come on, Calvin. She's the fastest racer ever. She's damn sure faster than you were." Techno crossed his arms, "Techno, stop." Y/n said, going to grab her helmet Calvin threw. "What the hell did you just say?" Calvin got in Techno's face.
"You heard me," Y/n pushed the two back. Standing in between, "come on, guys." Techno furrowed his brow, "Y/n, move." He said, Y/n just stood there crossing her arms. Calvin pushed her to the side, causing her to stumble a bit. He stepped closer to Techno.
"Don't push her," this time, Techno was the one who got in Calvin's face. "It was just to make sure I don't hit her." He grumbled, immediately throw his fist into Techno's face.
Y/n watched the two fight, she sighed. "I hate when two grown men fight over stupid shit." She grumbled, she took a seat on a bench not too far.
After what seemed like an hour the two were breathing heavy and bleeding. Their movements were more lazy, as if they were both about to fall down from exhaustion. Calvin's wife walked out, sitting down next to Y/n.
"Something stupid?" She asked Y/n, Y/n nodded. She sighed, they both walked over to the exhausted men. "Are you done?" Y/n asked them, they put their fists down and slowly nodded.
Calvin's wife helped him into the house and Y/n helped Techno to the car. His arm was around her shoulders and he held onto his stomach. She didn't say anything, he didn't say anything.
She closed his door, now walking over to her door and getting in.
"I'm sorry."
Y/n just started the car, Techno waited for a reply, but never received one. Y/n pulled into her driveway, she immediately got out. Techno got out as well, using the car to help him walk. Y/n immediately went to his side, helping him inside. She sat him at a chair at the table, then walking to the bathroom.
She came back, holding alcohol, hand towels and bandages. She sat on top of the table in front of him. "Y/n," she shushed him. "We can talk about it later. I'm too tired." She soaked the hand towel in alcohol. Lightly pulling his jaw toward her. She pressed it on his eyebrow which was split open. He flinched, biting his bottom lip. His hands were on her thighs, but he made sure not to grabbed them so he didn't hurt her.
She flipped the towel, pressing it against his head again. "You're hurting me, baby." He said, Y/n almost broke down right there. She was so tired, she honestly didn't think she could continue to live, that it would take too much energy. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice breaking. Techno looked at her, "are you okay? I'm sorry I fought him. I really am."
"I don't care about that," she said. She knew at the time she couldn't put any extra energy into her relationship. That everyday she practiced Calvin drained every drop of it. She didn't want Techno to feel unloved, but in all honesty she was so tired she couldn't feel nor give love.
She bandages his head, now walking over to the bathroom to put the supplies up. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Tears slowly started to fall as she stared back into her dirty face. "I can't do this anymore.." She mumbled, "I'm so tired."
Techno could hear her, but he did not say a word. He would have to talk to her after she rested. He watched her walk up to him, all her tears were gone as they walked upstairs.
She helped him in bed, then started to walk to the bathroom. "Y/n," he said, making her turn back around. "Shower after you sleep. I'll wash the sheets." Y/n crawled into bed, she shoved her head into his chest. He had to admit, she was hurting him due to him still being sore from the fight, but he would never make her move. He just dealt with her tight, painful squeezes until she drifted off into sleep, losing her tight grip.
Techno allowed himself to sleep now.
Techno woke up to the sun hitting his eyes and Y/n jumping out of bed. "Shit, shit, shit," she mumbled. Techno watched her throw on a tank-top and sweats. She gave him a quick kiss and ran out the door. Techno checked the time, she was late for practice.
Time Skip
Techno had been alone all day. He's been trying to call Y/n just to check in, but she never answered. He heard the front door click and closed. He waited to see Y/n walk forward, but no one did. He checked the time, 9:08. Techno groaned as he got up, walking over there.
He saw Y/n leaning against the wall, exhausted. He came to her side, pulling her away from the wall. "I'm okay," she said, Techno shook his head taking her upstairs. She immediately passed out while he put her in bed, "jesus christ."
He thought this would be a one time thing, but this morning she was up at 4am. Y/n's 4am alarm started going off. She pulled Techno in more, not wanting to hear it. After a second she sat up, checking the time. "Baby," Techno whispered, "it's so early, why are you up?"
"Calvin made practice earlier.." She got up and Techno could hear the shower start to run. He was going to wait for her to leave, but accidentally fell asleep. When he woke up Y/n was gone, he checked the time. 10:46 am.
He got out of bed and decided to go buy some groceries. Techno was gone for about three hours and returned to an empty house. After he finished putting everything up he called Y/n. She actually was able to answer this time.
"Hello?.." She said quietly. Techno could hear her heavy breathing. "Baby," Techno said, "when are you coming home?" She picked up that he sounded a bit sad.
"I'll be there as soon as I can." She said, Techno could hear Calvin talking in the background, but couldn't make out what he was saying. "It's just been awhile, I guess." Techno mumbled, "I know," Y/n sighed, "I know. I'll make it up to you tonight." Techno didn't respond.
"I'll be home in ten minutes." Y/n said, "what? But you have never left practice early?" Techno furrowed his brows, "I'll fill in my time tomorrow. Start dinner, will you?"
"Uh, of course. Yeah, I'll make it now." Techno couldn't hold back his smile. "Okay, I'll be home soon." Techno could hear Calvin yelling, but Y/n hung up.
"Y/n, I swear to god if you walk off this track I'll make your practices a living hell." Y/n didn't know what was so different about this season. He's been draining her to prepare, was there a new rookie she should worry about? She didn't know and she didn't care. Right now her boyfriend needed her and she's not going to let him down.
"See you tomorrow, Calvin." Y/n said, walking off the track. "You're going to wish you never raced." Calvin yelled to her, "we'll see." Y/n grumbled, walking off the track and getting into her car.
At home
"Y/n," Techno said as she walked into the kitchen. He quickly walked up to her, pulling her in for a tight hug. "Are you alright?" He pulled away to look at her. "I'm okay, I'm going to take a quick shower though." He nodded and watched her walk up the steps.
After Techno finished dinner Y/n came downstairs. Her hair was wet and she was wearing his shirt. He smiled at her, "what?" She asked, "you look good." It always caught him off guard when he saw her in his clothing, but not in a bad way. No, no, no. He loved it, it made him feel comfortable. "I need to do laundry," she sighed. "Your clothes from this week are in the washer." Techno pulled out a chair for her.
"Thank you," she said, he nodded. "How has practice been? Anything new? Same old same old?" He asked, sitting across from her. "Something new everyday," she sighed. "Can I tell you secrets?"
"Well, I do know quite a few of your secrets." Techno said, "I don't know if I can do this anymore." Hi is fork stopped, "do what?"
"Racing," she mumbled. "Racing's your whole life, baby." Techno chuckled, but she didn't. "Something is wrong," she said, "what do you mean?" He asked, "I've never had to practice like this. Ever. Something is wrong. Someone is going to beat me next season."
"Who would beat you?" He looked up to her, but she was looking down at her plate. "A rookie, a oldie," she looked up into his eyes. "You."
He didn't say anything, "or I could get in another crash." She looked back down, "don't say that." He grabbed her hand, "I don't even care anymore." She squeezed his hand, "I don't care about racing. I'm so," she paused, "tired."
"Tired of practicing."
"Tired of the public."
"Tired of the cameras."
"Tired of having no friends."
"Tired of all of it."
Techno nodded, "I know a spot." He said, "what?" "Finish eating, we'll head there afterwards."
Time Skip
Techno pulled Y/n into the backyard. "You're spot was the backyard?" Y/n asked him, he nodded his head with a stupid grin on his face. "Talk to me," he said, placing a blanket on the ground and sitting down. "What?" Y/n asked sitting next to him.
"Here, I'll go first." He took a deep breath, "I've missed you. I'm so proud of you for working hard and still making the way you are, but I miss you. I loved what we had before. Now it's you leave for practice and came home exhausted. It's not just that, Y/n. I'm worried about you. You've barely eaten in two weeks, you leave early and don't get back til late. You're pushing yourself to far. You're worrying me."
"I'm sorry, I—" Techno shushed her, "I don't want advice. I already know, I just want you to have some boundaries for this kinda stuff. It's too much." She nodded, "I'll talk to Calvin later and we'll work on some boundaries." Techno nodded, "I'm scared for next season too." He admitted, "I want to race with you. I don't want to retire from racing."
"I don't understand you," Techno chuckled. "What do you mean?" Y/n asked, "you've loved everything wrong with me." He said, turning to look at her. "You're the only person who's ever done that. And yet you still think you make me feel unloved. You've made me feel loved, truly in my life. I know my family is a lot easier than yours, but they have done nothing, but complain about me. All my life. They say I have a bad attitude, but I never understood."
Y/n scooted closer to him, "maybe it was destiny. I was the only one who could love your attitude so you had to be with me." They both giggled.
After a few moments of silently looking up to the sky Y/n mumbled something. "Can I ask you something?" Techno nodded, "of course." "Do you remember your childhood?" He lightly glanced at her. "I do, I remember it very well."
"I don't," Y/n hugged her knees. "I really wish I did. I know there's some good thing, but I can't give my father any credit because I don't remember." Techno placed his hand on her shoulder, "your father doesn't deserve any credit. He was a bad man. A bad father."
"Don't say that," she said. "I'm sorry," he said.
"He wasn't, he put food on the table and a roof over my head. He sent me to school and, uh," Y/n stopped, "he hurt me." She processed the thought. "God, he is a bad father." She mumbled, laying her head on her knees.
"Can I ask you something?" Techno asked, "of course." She said, "do you think he loves you?" Y/n was quiet for a moment. "I don't know. Everything in me is telling me no. But I just want to believe that he does. That behind that drunken piece of shit dad he actually does love his daughter. I just wanted to make him proud and I don't think I'll ever be able to since I kicked him out of my life."
"Do you want him back in your life?" Y/n shrugged, "sometimes. Sometimes no. Sometime I just want to scream at him and sometimes I just want my father back." She paused, "he wasn't that bad. I mean when he wasn't drinking." Techno looked at her, "elaborate?"
"Sometimes he wouldn't drink. He was so sweet, honestly. I miss that dad. I think," she looked away from Techno. "I think I love him." Techno sighed to himself, "have you ever wanted to hurt yourself?" He asked, out of the blue type of question. Y/n looked at him, "I have." He said, shrugging the thought. "Have you?" He asked again, Y/n nodded. "Here and there."
"Why do we think that?" Techno asked, "we're humans. Our conscience or something, I don't know. Sometimes we just think we deserve to be in distress." Techno shook his head, "I think something else."
"I think we just want control over something. As humans we have no control over our feelings, but we can with pain. We can hurt ourselves and be in control of that pain." Y/n looked at him, "I agree. I mean hell, sometimes I don't even want to be alive anymore."
"Did you want to kill yourself?.." He asked, she slowly nodded her head. "Do you still want to?" She stayed quiet, "what?.." No one had ever asked her a question even similar to that. It shocked her that he actually even had the thought. "Do you still want to kill yourself?" He said, his eyes fixated on hers.
Her mouth slightly hung open, but she didn't say a word. He turned, placing his head on his knees. "I don't want that to stop you from leaving me." She finally said, he turned back, "what?"
"If you ever want to leave me, I don't want my answer to stop you. I don't want you to stay in a relationship you don't want to be in."
He nodded, "you don't have to tell me. But, I'll tell you this. If I ever want to leave, I'll tell you. I cross my heart." He made an 'X' across his heart, "yes." She mumbled, avoiding his reaction by looking back up to the sky.
He didn't make a noise, but when she turned to him he was staring at her. "Are you still in pain? From the bad things that have happened to you?.." He thought he had helped her.
She turned, hugging her knees to her chest. "Don't get me wrong. You have made me the happiest I've ever been in my life." He nodded, "but I've been through a lot. It hurts and it doesn't just leave." She held onto her legs tighter, "it's always going to be with me. All of it. I hate carrying it around. I hate waking up every morning and knowing that all of that happened to me. To my body. To my soul."
"So," Techno paused. "Why are you still here?" He didn't mean it in a offensive way, but he didn't know how else to word it. "I'm so dependent.." She whispered with a small laugh. "I like seeing you when I wake up."
"I like talking with Schlatt and Callahan. I love Calvin and want to make him proud." She turned to look at him. "I love you guys, I can't just leave you guys here."
"But you're in pain.." Techno said, "I'll be okay." She said, he was quiet for a moment. "I don't want you to leave, Y/n." His voice broke, Y/n looked at him. He was crying.
Techno was crying.
The Technoblade Minecraft was sitting in front of her sobbing his eyes out.
"I want— I need you here. I don't want you to leave." She wrapped her arms around him. "I hated when you were only gone for a few hours, Y/n! Please, don't leave me alone forever." He cried, "I'm not." She rubbed his back, "I'm not going anywhere. I swear, I cross my heart." She felt terrible for making him feel like this. "I want to help you, Y/n. I do. I really fucking do. I just don't know how. I'm really trying my best." Y/n nodded, "I know, baby.."
Time Skip
Y/n and Techno laid in bed. Y/n was laying on her side, one hand under her head. The other hand was resting on Techno's, which was on her waist. He laid behind her, also on his side. She had fallen asleep, but he hadn't. He was think about what they had talked about.
"What's keeping you up?" Y/n mumbled, stretching and turning over into his chest. Techno sighed, "nothing, baby. Nothing."
"You can tell me, you don't have to. But I'm always here." She whispered, he nodded. "I can't believe you love a man who has treated you so terribly."
"He's my dad," she moved her head out from his chest. "I am him. I'm tired of hating myself just because I am him. I can't just un-love my dad like that."
"Yes, you can." Techno pouted, "you're not him. Not in the slightest bit. You're a kind, sweet, young, beautiful, lady. You're nothing like him. You're not him, Y/n. You are you." Y/n kissed his cheek.
"I love you, Techno, I know that." She said, laying her head in the crook of his neck. "I love you. And I know that as well." He whispered.
Y/n's alarms went off. "Y/n, it is three am. Why the hell do you need to be up this early?" Techno grumbled, sleepy. "Practice.." She whispered, getting up.
Y/n slid down on the floor. Techno appeared, "baby." He ran to her side, her breathing was heavy. "I cant do this anymore, Techno. I cant." She held onto her chest, "okay, okay. Let's get you in bed." He picked her up, she shook her head. "Stop," she tried to push him away. "Just let me sit here. I don't want to move. I can't."
Techno slowly nodded his head, "I'll be right back." He said, kinda running up the steps. He immediately called Calvin. "What-?" Techno cut off his answer, "what the hell? What did you do to Y/n?"
"Nothing, we had practice."
"Practice shouldn't drain her to the point where she can't move." Techno clenched his jaw, "we have to." "Why?"
"Because her brother is racing next season."
Brother? Oh, shit. She does have a brother.
"So? He's a rookie, it's not like he's going to get first." Techno could hear Calvin sigh. "I'm trying to get Y/n's body used to all the hard work. You want to know why? Because she basically going to be killing herself during the season racing him."
"Is he that good?" Techno asked, "no one knows. Y/n doesn't even know he's racing. So don't let her find out, got it?"