blue
"we can ditch going in there if you want to. we'll just cuddle or write some music or record something or just chill and watch the office, do you wanna make out? we can even have sex." billie said as she fixed her hair since it's got all poofy from the helmet she was wearing.
"as much as i would love doing litteraly any of the things you just listed, today is the last day i'm going to see my fam before going on tour again. i gotta say goodbye to them, plus there is some bomb ass food in there." i decided it was kinda worth it to step into the the foyer.
"kyle what are you doing?" i frowned my brows.
"huh? nothing. i'm not doing anything." he very quickly tried to get rid of any evidence around him.
"relax bro, i always eat the cookies before dinner and i always get yelled at by blue. glad to have a cookie buddy." she jogged over to him and grabbed a cookie.
"you always scold me because i'm not eating healthy while you're doing the same exact thing. i just think it isn't fair, and you're a hypocrite, and the cookies are for after dinner and not before dinner." i said as i walked the opposite direction of the kitchen.
"but it always takes so long for everyone to arrive and actually have the dinner that we came here for!" billie yelled after me.
"yeah! i know! but i can't have those cookies, can i?"
"you can't!" she yelled.
"have you seen kyle anywhere?" cole asked my after i gave her a hug.
"billie has a new cookie buddy. hint hint wink wink he has great hair." i answered.
"do you want me to confescate the cookies from the both of them? or do i just go for kyle?" cole asked.
"both please."
"claudia!" i walked over and hugged her, then finneas who stood right beside her. "you literally, and i'm not even joking with you about this, have the pregnancy glow."
"i know right! i woke up and looked myself in the mirror and i was like who is she?" claud's flipped her hair to the back of her shoulder.
"turns out lucas joined the cookie party before i shut it down." cole said before she continued smacking on the gum in her mouth.
"kyle is a total music nerd, i'm actually impressed." billie sat cross legged beside fin.
"he paid for my nails so i don't tell you this, so you better keep it a secret, or at least not let him know that i told you this. but he was lowkey freaking out today because he was going to meet you." cole said, just above a whisper.
"of course he freaked out, he was freaking out about meeting me and i'm a nobody." i chuckled.
"what did you expect him to do? you were planning on threatening the boy and he knew it." finneas spoke up.
"oh come on, like i would be capable of murder." i scoffed.
"you may not be capable of murder but you sure do look like you are." kyle mumbled.
"i'll take that as a compliment." i slowly nodded.
"i've been calling you guys, come on. dinner time." jasmine walked into the living room.
we got up and took a seat at the dinning table. everyone was seated next to their person and lucas sat next to me, since, and he made it pretty clear and noticeable, he's the only single person at the table.
"take care of each other girls, i'm not going to be there at this leg of tour. don't do anything stupid." maggie instructed billie and i.
"i can't promise not to do anything stupid but i'll promise to take care of her." i pointed my fork at billie.
"same." billie shrugged.
"is ivy going to join you again?" cole asked.
"yup, she wasn't going to originally but andrew and her became a thing so she decided to continue on the road." billie answered.
"kyle, you wanna do this when you grow up? travel the world in a band?" billie raised a brow.
"still don't know, but that's definitely an option." he shrugged. "i'm taking a gap year to figure things out. maybe i won't go to college and i'll find a great job, who knows?"
"you gotta work hard for what you want, it's not going to be handed to you just like that." dad commented.
"yeah, and a little bit of luck." billie added. "if you find an opportunity you gotta go after it, don't just tell yourself 'there's going to be other opportunities', cause you don't want to regret anything."
"look at you giving advice." i nudged her.
"i know right, who would have thought."
-
many, many group and side conversations later and a location change back to the living room, it's finally dessert time. the cookies were pretty much gone the minute they arrived at the table and everyone was stuck with having a chocolate cake. i'm not complaining though, it was delicious.
that's when my phone started ringing with an unknown number. "looks like i might have to get a new number." i mumbled as i answered the phone.
"hi" she breathed out.
"hi?"
"i know this is gonna give you some kind of deja vu but can you please come outside."
"i- uh." i looked over at dad to see if he knows of this but he looked pretty oblivious.
"you don't have to, uh- i'll be waiting and if you don't come outside i'll- i'll just go." she quickly said.
"who is it?" billie frowned her brows.
"i'll be there in a bit." i hung up.
"who is it?" she repeated.
"mom." i said, just above a whisper. "if anyone asks where i'm going, just tell them i'm going to the toilet. if i don't come back in ten come after me." i got up and made my way outside.
"your hair is blue." was the first she noticed and said to me. "it looks so pretty."
"thank you." i tucked my bangs behind my ears and crossed my arms at my chest.
"your dad told me what happened." she said after a moment of very awkward silence.
"i told him he didn't have to, really, it's okay." i shrugged.
"i've been sober for one hundred and ten days, and the only reason i became sober is because i realized my daughters hate me. they think of me as a monster who just feeds off their dad and was never there for them. that's exactly who i was, i'm not going to make any excuses for myself." she paused and looked up at the sky.
"i didn't want to see you because you hate me and i was scared that if i met up with you guys that it was going to trigger me to drink again because you won't even give me a chance, and then that will disappoint you even more. but then your dad told me that you said i was selfish and i wasn't special because i wasn't the only one that was scared and i just never thought of that, and you're right. i was selfish." she paused, her eyes were glassy and those glassy eyes were infectious.
"i'm so sorry that i came over so suddenly but i know you're leaving tomorrow and i couldn't just let you go without seeing you first. you can hate me but i'll always love you.."
"i don't hate you." i interrupted.
"ohh." she cried.
"i wanted to though." i mumbled.
"i promise i'll start visiting more often and fix our relationship and i know you're going to be gone for a little while. we can facetime and we can call... if you want." she slowed down once she realized she was getting ahead of herself.
"okay." i bit the bottom of my lip to keep myself from crying. "i want to do that." i nodded.
a tear fell onto her cheek but she was quick to wipe it off, "can i hug you."
"yeah." i wasn't sure if i was crying or laughing at this point. our bodies crashed together and we were squeezing each other so hard like our life depended on it. like if we let go one of us was going to run away and we'll lose each other.
"thank you, you're always the one that always somehow manages to knock some sense into me." she chuckled as soon as we pulled away.
"blue?" billie called out from the house door.
"is that your girlfriend?" she asked.
"yeah, i told her to come check on me if i wasn't back in ten minutes." i explained.
"hi." billie walked up to us and made sure to take a good look at my face.
"thank you for making my blue happy." mom went in for a hug without any warning. billie looked at me with wide eyes, not sure what to do or say.
"of course." she said as mom pulled away.
"you should go back in there, they probably started wondering where you're at." mom said, i nodded and walked arm linked with billie back into the house.