guys this wasn't supposed to take literally 51 chapters omg
but here we go~
⊷ 51
When he opened his eyes, he saw her.
Just her, lying right next to him, her eyes closed and her breaths so small that he could barely even hear them.
Heavy eyelids, hazy morning vision - all of that stood between him and her and yet he saw Ji-yoon clearly.
He felt her hand on him. She gently ran her fingertips up and down the back of his neck all the way up to where his hair began and then back down.
She was awake, yet she had her eyes closed. She was lying so close to him that their foreheads were almost touching, her soft breaths gently falling against his skin.
"It's still early," she said in a murmur, "you should sleep more." Her voice was low and heavy as if she herself had only just woken up.
His eyes travelled down to her arm. The tanktop that she wore allowed him to quickly spot the bandage around her arm that, by now, was a bit messy. The sight made him remember what Wooyoung had asked him to do last night.
"She can take the painkillers as needed..." he said, "but she likes to play tough so maybe you can reason with her a little so she takes them even if she thinks it doesn't hurt that much."
"Does it hurt?" Haechan asked carefully to which Ji-yoon shook her head. "Okay. But if it does then please tell me."
"Will do," she mumbled quietly. "Now go back to sleep. It's not even 7 yet."
Haechan was surprised that it was still so early. He had slept well. He wasn't tired at all.
Maybe it was the comfortable bed he slept in. Maybe it was the clean air that was streaming into the room through the tall, open window. Maybe it just felt like he was well-rested in contrast to the immense tiredness he had felt last night.
Maybe it was all that.
Or maybe it was the fact that he was lying next to Ji-yoon.
So he hummed. "I'd rather look at you a bit longer," he muttered. He spoke quietly, yet it was obvious that she would be able to hear him given their proximity.
She finally opened her eyes and looked at him. She didn't expect him to say this and so her initial response was more so disbelief than anything else.
However, it soon swapped places with a sense of exhaustion. She exhaled deeply, closed her eyes again and decided that,
"You're unfair."
"What? Why?"
"Just saying this like that to me as if it wouldn't make me fall even harder for you than I already did..." She nodded to herself as she concluded once more, "You're unfair."
He had almost forgotten that from her perspective, it was different. That he hadn't told her yet. That they weren't lying next to each other as a couple nor as friends.
Just as something in between, something ambiguous.
And as such, she wouldn't have known that she was just as unfair as he was. That just her hand on his neck and those small smiles of hers felt insanely unfair too.
"I talked to Kun a while ago," Haechan remembered. "He said that when the people around you get hurt, you are quick to blame yourself."
"So now, whatever it is, the first person Joon will blame is herself. The thing you said about being on edge - I think you are right. She is worried the same thing might happen again and someone will get hurt and she will find a way to blame herself."
"Do you think this is your fault?" he asked. "What happened with Park?"
She had her answer right away. She had thought about it from the moment she had gotten the call yesterday to the moment she fell asleep.
No matter how she looked at it, it was her fault. Whether entirely or not was not at the centre of her considerations. At the centre stood her failure to prevent it; to see it coming in the first place.
However, Ji-yoon didn't say anything. She merely opened her eyes in time to see how his own lost focus as he tried to gather his thoughts.
"I was thinking about what I should say to you," he admitted. "Kun told me to be honest. It's just... there is so much I that I want to tell you so I am not really sure where to start. I guess that's part of why I hesitated so long."
She smiled. Warm but tired. "I know you have trouble saying what's on your mind so you don't need to--"
"You're one of the best things in my life," he interrupted her. "You are reckless and cheeky and a bit crazy. But these are all things I like about you. No matter how serious a situation is, you make it better."
Ultimately, this all boiled down to one thing. Something he had wanted to tell her for a while now.
"Life, with you in it, is less scary. It's brighter."
Ji-yoon's jokes and bold comments were always meant to do exactly that - brighten the mood. She wasn't exactly an optimistic person. So all she had left was to make the bad things ahead seem less intimidating.
She was just unsure if it worked on herself, let alone others.
However, hearing him say this was not only surprising but made her incredibly happy. So much so, that it was suddenly hard to look at him.
Being bold and straight-forward was easy for her. Facing her emotions in such a manner and being confronted with his honesty were new to her though.
"It hurts seeing you treat yourself like something that brings bad luck when you are the person keeping everyone safe."
Ji-yoon's confidence could be overwhelming. It was more than most people could ever dream of having. And yet it could never manage to outweigh her self-doubt.
"From now on, whatever it is, we will figure it out together," Haechan told her. "You're not alone - I'll be by your side."
She laughed to herself. More than being touched or happy, she just thought that,
"Aren't you cute today?"
He took a deep breath. "I mean it."
"I get that."
Haechan doubted that though and so he gave it another try.
"Joon, what I am trying to say," he began, "is that I will go wherever you go. Even if it's stupid or crazy, I'll be with you. So you can't take the blame alone - not anymore."
She hummed. "And why would you do that?"
"Because I trust you." He took a deep breath, eyes lingering on her for a while. "And because I like you."
Surprised, the small smile fell off her lips as she looked at the boy. Despite her having waited for this moment for a long time, it was hard to just believe it now.
"You do?" she asked just to make sure.
Haechan nodded. "I meant to tell you a while ago already. I'm sorry it took me so long."
However, Ji-yoon didn't need apologies, she didn't need explanations. She needed nothing more as she let go of her shock at once and leaned forward.
She didn't hesitate, didn't wait. She just closed the gap between them and kissed Haechan gently. Careful at first, yet once the surprise wore off, Haechan buried his hand in her hair and kept her close, growing more and more breathless and eager by the second.
Ji-yoon smirked against his lips as she felt him gently tug at her hair ere his hand travelled down her neck, to her shoulder and further down.
Suddenly, a small shriek pierced through the room. Not quite loud enough to elicit panic or wake the rest of the sleeping boys in the house, yet it was still worrisome as it came from Ji-yoon.
And so Kai, who took turns with San staying up and watching over everyone, was upstairs just moments later, approaching the door to her room swiftly.
Meanwhile, Haechan looked at the girl with wide eyes.
"Sorry," he said breathlessly, taking his hand off her right away as he had accidentally touched her arm too harshly. "Are you okay?"
Ere she got to answer, Kai reached her door.
"Joon?" he asked rather quietly considering that the others were still asleep. "What happened? Are you okay?" he asked, hand already on the doorknob when Ji-yoon warned,
"Don't come in."
He stopped right away. "But you- did you hurt yourself?" he asked with worry.
She considered what to say before settling on,
"Technically it wasn't me." She grinned. "Sunshine got a bit too carried away while we were making ou--"
Oh! Someone look at that! Ji-yoon suddenly stopped talking when Haechan pressed his hand against her mouth.
He looked at her with a raised brow, yet at the same time, he seemed hardly surprised at all.
"She's okay," Haechan assured the older. "Don't worry."
He hesitated a moment. "Okay. Tell me if you need anything," Kai said before leaving.
Once he was gone, Haechan removed his hand.
"Were you really about to say that?" he asked in disbelief.
"I mean... we're all adults, no?" she said nonchalantly. "I wouldn't have said that if it were my brothers though or they might have come in and dragged you out who knows~" she said sweetly.
Sometimes, it worried Haechan how casual she was about certain things.
"But since he's gone now..." she whispered, placed her hand on Haechan's cheek, "do you want to continue?"
Haechan looked at her arm with worry, scared he might hurt her again. But she gave him a quick peck on the lips to get his attention before saying,
"Don't worry about it." Then she smirked. "You can be rough with me if you want to, Sunshine. I'm open to trying new things, you know? We just need to make sure we don't make too much noise so we don't wake the others."
Flustered, Haechan looked at the girl in shock. "Joon, I-"
"I'm joking, I'm joking," she assured, causing him to calm down before she asked, "Or am I?"
Rough ⊶
double update as a birthday present to myself 😌
I hope you liked the chapter! 💚