I never thought that loving someone could be this painful...that this life is this messy. Growing up with a golden spoon spoiled me and made me ignorant of the real word....the real pain. But not until I met her....little did I know, this would lead me to my greatest downfall.
Trying to reach that rose in the wild garden...led me into this.
Isang hakbang ng paa ay natumba muli ako. "It's fine Mr. Cueves, you can try again." the nurse tried to help me but I refused his hands.
"It's been fucking months! How long? Huh? Do I really have a chance to walk again?" I burst out.
I miss my Roshan...and our baby. Our precious Neytiri.
I slammed my hands onto the floor and cried my heart out. "This is all my fault."
"Sir..."
"Get me back to my room. This session is done for today." I coldly demanded.
It's always like this...kahit anong pilit ko, walang nangyayari. And it didn't help that my Roshan is not here with me....that I am guilty for our Neytiri's death.
I held our picture and my tears couldn't stop falling.
If I hadn't come to their life, this would never have happened. If I just didn't push myself too much on them, they would be happy with Mr. Salvatore. I'm sure he'll give everything just to protect them.
"You're staring at her again."
"I'm not." I shifted my gaze to the glass in front of me. I slowly drank my whisky.
"Don't fool me, Zaccarius. I know you." Elios winked at me, humalungbaba sa aking tabi. "Roseann is pretty good, kaya lang ay lalakero. And she's still 19, an Accountancy student, you know where?"
Kumunot naman ang aking noo. "How the hell did you know a lot about her?"
That mad man winked again. "She's a regular here..in my bar. And in our school." he chuckled. "Of course I would know." sinalinan niya ang aking baso. He smiled playfully.
I raised my eyebrows. "Don't try to hit on her." pagbabanta ko habang ibinalik ang tingin sa babaeng ngayon ay may bagong kasayaw na lalaki.
My blood boils. She's too young for this. Where are her parents? Kung sa akin yan ay hindi magiging ganyan.
Why Kai? Would you cage her?....if she's yours?
Damn, my thoughts! She's still young despite her age.
"Do you think I like her? Don't worry Zaccarius, I like someone else." he laughed and smirked.
"Fuck off and don't try anything nonsense."
Hinampas niya ang aking likuran. "Come one dude, look at that view. You'll lose her if you don't do anything."
"She's young."
"Yeah dude, bahala ka. Just admire that rose from afar, ikaw naman ang mahihirapan."
Umirap ako nang makita siyang kahalikan na ang kasayaw na lalaki. That damned Elios laughed at me all over again.
What does he expect me to do? Fuck him.
"Iho, try Angelica. You'll click for sure. She's coming here for summer and that's a nice time to get to know each other."
I almost cussed loudly. Here we go again.
"Abuelo.."
"I'm old, Zaccarius. If you don't give me a grandchild soon, I'll probably miss the chance to meet them. Kaya sige na apo, try to get to know Angelica. She's a graduate of Harvard, and I know she'll be a great partner to you. With those stats and accomplishments, you'll like her for sure. Par perfecto"
Like her huh?
I remember someone I like.
"You know the Davis's? Senyor Alfredo Davis? He's one of our potential investors that you rejected..." never have I ever thought that I would resort on this. My best friend's right, fucking love sick.
"Hmm, their company has bloomed as far as I know." well, this is thanks to Elios's loudmouth. I don't know where he gets all this information but I guess this is useful.
"Alfredo and Diana Davis?" munti siyang nag isip bago tumango. "Si, I remember them. What about it iho?"
"Well.." damn, Roseann is young and I don't have any plans to be involved with her this soon. This is all Elios fault.
Fuck you, ngayon ay may ginagawa na ako.
"I don't want to meet that Angelica, but you can try with the Davis heiress." this is me shooting my shot, bullets formed down and I'm nervous as hell.
If Abuelo permits me, and if Roseann's family agrees..then we can take this slow. But of course, I needed Roseann's approval too. Desisyon niya ang masusunod, kung ayaw niya..then I'll politely back off.
That's what I said to Abuelo, just try it...and if she doesn't like it..then we'll back off.
But I was surprised she said yes for a dinner date at Okada.
"Fuck!" I shout with excitement.
Elios joined me as I searched for a new suit. "Don't be too cocky, just help me and I'll buy you that latest Rolex as thank you." I rolled my eyes.
"You have many suits in your closet, why the hell do you need another one? Lahat naman ng iyon, halos isang beses mo lang na isuot."
"This is different....and special."
"Fucking love sick."
"Shut up and help me pick the right suit for my date." I screeched.
The night ended up with me choosing a plain black tuxedo. I hope she likes it.
I smiled with my thoughts.
My smile dropped when I remembered her lifestyle. She won't like to be caged for sure, she's a party girl and I know, no one can tame her from her daily sexcapades.
But...if we're together, hindi ko naman siya pipigilang mag party..only that, she can't have her daily boy routine. Ako lang..dapat para sa kanya.
"I thought you're done with this shit?" halos mabingi ako sa sigaw ni Maya.
"Ma-"
"Fucking blind date again, bahala ka na sa buhay mo Zaccarius. I won't be home for a while, don't bother to call me. Adios."
Maya, my friend. She's a bit possessive but a good and loyal one. We grew up together in Spain and we knew each other very well. Palagi niyang tinatakot ang mga date ko noon dahil alam niyang ayaw ko naman at napipilitan ako. I thanked her for that..
But this time...it's different.
I raised my brows when she parted her hands to block me. Her face is red, parang bulkang sasabog...but still pretty tho.
"Hindi ka lalabas hanggat walang security." she demanded, accusing me of touching her.
I didn't do that, whoever touched her would not leave this building untouched too.
"And what do you want? Play hide and seek with the security?" I said.
"Anong hide and seek? Papunta na sila dito. Oh! ayun na!" I smiled when I saw her cutely pointing out her hands to the guard. Still young...and naive.
"Kuya eto p-" she was shocked when the elevator closed, and left the security on that floor.
I smirked, I tried to hide my amusement.
But she's persistent. When the elevator opened, she dragged me out and cornered me.
We're too close, I felt her soft hands..very delicate and gentle.
"Are you still not done? I have an appointment and I am late." I tried to be as cold as possible, she also doesn't have any idea that I'm her date for tonight.
I smirked at my thought when I realized she'll be shocked for sure.
And she was.
We had a great night, or so I thought. But I enjoyed, bata pa rin talaga ang mahilig mangasar. I'll give her that.
Be mine and I'll spoil you with anything.
_
We dated for sometime, and every time....I fell.
She's wild and loud, proud most of the time, but very heartwarming and caring. She always had that facade of a strong and bold woman, but I know deep inside, she's lost and in need for attention.
She's not ready for marriage.
She's young and wanted to explore more.
I understand it. I'll follow her pace, kung kelan siya handa, doon ako. I can wait....she's worth it.
We're getting along real good, but I don't know why she became cold all of a sudden. Ngayon pang malapit na ang birthday ko.
I tried to call her multiple times but she didn't respond. I wonder what happened?
The night passed and she never replied.
Today's my birthday and we're not okay. I felt uneasy so I went to their house.
"Oh Kai!" Madame Diana was shocked to see me. "My my iho, bakit ka nandito? It's your day today, you should prepare."
"Good morning, Madame. Is Roshan awake? Can I talk to her for a sec?" sinilip ko pa ang loob ng bahay nila, where are you my baby?
"Ikaw talaga iho, you really can't resist my daughter." she laughed. "She's awake and preparing na for your birthday later....and engagement party, of course." tikhim niya.
My brow shot up. "Engagement?"
Pinalo niya ang aking braso. "Go home now, birthday boy. You'll see your beautiful fiance later, don't miss her too much, okay?"
I didn't have a chance to talk to her, I wonder what happened?
To my beautiful Roshan:
See you later Roshan. Reply ka naman pag di ka busy. Will wait for you. (PS. Birthday greetings ah.)
From my beautiful Roshan:
Happy birthday, Kai!
Nawala ang kaba sa aking dibdib ng makita ang sagot niya. Maybe I was overreacting, she's just busy, Kai. Get your shit together, or you'll fucked up later.
To my beautiful Roshan:
Good morning Roshan! Thank you. How's your night? It might sound clingy, but I miss talking to you.
I really miss her.
Her presence is all I expect later.
When I got home, I tried to ask abuelo about the engagement thing Roshan's mother mentioned. Does she expect me to propose later? Roshan's not yet ready so I won't.
"Are you fucking seruoius?" I shouted at him.
"Zaccarius, that's your abuelo. Have some manners." dad's voice echoed.
Sinuklay ko ang aking buhok. "I told you Abuelo, let me handle this. Why are you always getting in the way?" I said frustratedly.
"Iho, doon din naman ang punta niyo. I told them, kung patatagalin pa, ihahanap kita ng iba. They easily agreed to the engagement, so just be happy that you'll marry the girl you like."
"She's young...and not ready. Why can't you understand that?" I stood up and gave them my annoyed look.
It's my birthday, but the hell....I'm fucking pissed.
That's probably why Roshan's been so cold to me.
I won't do it.
I won't propose tonight.
She's young and just starting to live her life. She might be too scared and run away from me if that happened.
And it did.
She did run away, and left me all alone.
_
"Stop drinking, dude." pigil ni Elios na agad ko ring pinigilan.
"Did they find her?" tanong ko.
"They're still finding her. Get your shit together, your whole family is worried. The Davis are enraged. Their daughter is nowhere to be found."
"Fuck!" I cursed as I drank my fifth bottle. "I'm gonna kill these guards if they stop me from going out."
"Shut up dude and just stay there until we have some news about your fiance. And stop drinking for fuck sake, you have low tolerance."
Umaalon na ang aking paningin, my eyes are a little blurred too.
Naramdaman ko na lang ang pagbagsak ko sa sahig.
"What the hell Zaccaruis?" mom shouted. "Don't you dare hurt my son." sigaw niya sa mga tauhan. My eyes were blurry but I saw my mom beside me.
One of the guards pushed me as I forced myself to get out of the function hall. Nasuntok ko kasi kaya naitulak ako.
Fuck ya'll. Let me out so I can find Roshan myself.
"There's a lead, nasa isang bar daw. Sa may-"
After hearing where she is, despite the heavy guards that's stopping me, I hurriedly went out to find her.
I have to explain. I didn't know any of this, they planned this out without my consent.
My mom screamed as she saw me going all alone. Our bodyguards followed me, mabilis ang pagmamaneho ko kahit halos babagsak na ang mata.
Wait for me, baby. I'll explain everything, and I hope you'll understand.
It's just a quick ride, nakarating ako agad sa lugar na sinabi ni Elios. I rubbed my eyes while trying to find her inside. Fuck, I almost lost my balance because of the wild crowd at the dance floor. The flickering lights contributed to my raging headache.
Where the hell is she?
My head and eyes were spinning so I went out to find air.
A familiar voice lingered in my head. Nababaliw na ata ako, bakit kung saan saan ko nariring ang kanyang boses?
I sighed heavily.
"Tulong." someone screamed.
Nanliit ang mata ko at nagtungo sa pinagmulan ng sigaw.
My veins tensed, my heart raced faster as I saw her being harassed by these bastards.
I couldn't think straight, the last thing I know is I punched these men and saved Roshan from danger.
"Hey, hey." I panicked when I saw her unconscious.
"Fuck!" everything is spinning, but I managed to get her inside the guards van. We rode with them, I can't drive. I'm fucked up.
_
"You smell so good." her gentle voice pierced through mine. She's too close to me, standing in front. I can smell her breath. And almost touched her skin.
"You sleep, please." pakiusap ko.
I want to sleep too, pagod na pagod ang katawan ko.
"Lie on the bed, Roshan. Please."
Ngunit kahit anong pilit ay hindi siya lumalayo sa akin. Ipinikit ko ang aking mata, I'm trying so hard to hold back from touching her.
I promised myself, and her. I can't break that.
She pouted and glided her hands from my collarbone to my navel. "Hmm."
"Roshan-" my voice trembled.
"Yes, my Kai? Hmm? You want this?" halos mapaso ako sa hawak niya, damn this girl and the things she can make me feel.
"Please stop and just sleep."
"Let's sleep together, hmm. What do you think?" her seductive bedtime voice would be my death.
"Pleas-"
My heart beat loud when her lips reached mine. It's cold, and soft. I tasted the alcohol in her, lasing siya. Mas lalong hindi pwede.
But fuck, my head is spinning and I can't deliberately gather my thoughts. I want to stop, think rationally and remember my promise...but I can't.
The alcohol claimed my system and I'm gonna claim her now.
"Ah." she mumbled when I started kissing back. I was hungry, all this time of silently watching her from afar pays its price now.
"I want you." she whispered that made my bulge even bigger.
"Yes, baby." I removed her top and bottom only leaving her panties untouched.
Her skin is soft, like a princess bathing in a tub of milk everyday. Hindi ata ako magsasawang hawakan siya ng ganito.
My hands on her boob while hers is on my pants. We continued kissing each other, playing with one another.
Pag naihiga ko ito sa kama, hindi ko na alam. Oh the heavens, please guide me.
"Kneel." she ordered while flipping her hair gracefully.
I looked at her, puzzled. I have never been submissive in my entire life, I'm always in control. Women wanted me, begged for me, but I never gave in. Never once but now....
Dahan dahan akong lumuhod sa harapan siya. I saw her smirking.
She's standing proud in front of me, proving her dominance over me. And I don't complain at all. Damn, I'm whipped and so down, she owns me, having me at her mercy.
She went closer that her in between is in my face. I can smell her sweet fragrance, my pants went budliger at the thought of something sensual.
"Now worship me." she demanded.
I gulped.
My brain was asking me to stop, but my heart....the woman I love...I can't....
I quickly opened her legs, and lifted one high. She held it for support, nakaluhod pa rin ako sa kanyang harapan. I slowly parted his panties so I could lick her sensitivity.
"Ahh." her moan is like a sweet tone in my ears, a music I would never get tired of hearing.
"Uhh, Kai. Please."
"Fuck." mura ko. Her sweet juices are pouring in my mouth.
This is it.
Fuck everything. I'm gonna claim her now.