My name's Haru. I'm a kakushi who works at the main house of the demon slayer corps.
Recently, a criminal who brought both upper moon 6 and 3 with her has been staying here.
In the start, everyone was pretty scared of her. I mean, someone who managed to subjugate such dangerous monsters must be as dangerous, right?
But in the end, she was just a normal girl. She's pretty and is always smiling, so it's easy to relax when you're around her.
Things have been a bit different after she started expending time here, firstly…
“Have you seen Y/N?” Kiriya asked, staring up at me.
“She's probably in the kitchen eating the leftovers from lunch again…”
“I see, many thanks.”
The young master often asks about her, this kid has been pretty attached to her recently…
Now I'm a bit curious, let's follow the master!
“Y/N, leave some strawberries! They are supposed to decorate the dessert later-!”
“Okaaay-” Y/N was sitting on the balcony of the kitchen, there was a strawberry basket beside her, and she kept sneakily taking some.
“Y/N, good morning.”
“Ah, Kiriya! Good morning! Do you want a strawberry?”
Y/N is bold! She doesn't use honorifics when she talks to the master, isn't she scared of having her tongue cut?!
“I appreciate the offer, but I will decline, I can only eat in set times through the day-” Y/N just shoved a strawberry in her mouth while she was still talking.
The young master normally already talks pretty fancily, but she talks EVEN more formally when she's around Y/N, it's weird how that kid is constantly looking for her only to act so distant after.
“Here! There's no problem in just eating one, you know! Kids have to eat a lot to grow up healthily!”
Kiriya chewed the strawberry with a pout. “You keep making me break rules…”
“Is it good? Is it sweet? Do you want another one?” Y/N bombarded the kid with questions, entirely ignoring her complaints and smiling brightly.
“You really don't listen to people…” The kid mumbled while Y/N turned away from her to grab more strawberries.
“Do you want to sit?” She patted the place besides hers on the balcony.
Despite the frown in the kid's face, the master still sat beside her in the end.
They seem to be getting along just fine, that's great!
I love and respect the master and the Ubuyashiki family with all of my heart, but they are always so perfect, even the kids! So, it makes me happy to see the master being more open like this, yeah, that's great!
“Isn't the hashira reunion tomorrow?”
“I think it is…”
“Y/N looks so calm despite this!”
“I heard someone say before that she's actually friends with a big part of the hashira! Maybe she knows she will be fine!”
Y/N doesn't seem to be aware, but the kakushi are often gossiping about her. Seems like someone saw her being pretty friendly with the hashiras some time ago and the word got around.
I will tell you a secret now, all right? And it has to stay between the two of us!
Y/N is always smiling when she's around other people and talking to someone, but occasionally, I see her spending time alone in the garden, and when she's not around others, she always looks so tired…
Everyone is seemingly so sure she will be fine at that in trial, so why does she seem somewhat depressed?
I'm a bit worried, but it's not like I can ask or try to talk to her. I'm only a kakushi after all.
『••✎••』
“Phew…” Y/N closed the door from her room, leaning against the wall and letting out a deep sigh.
Tomorrow's the big day. How are you feeling?
'Like vomiting at any moment.'
Hold it until later then, your demon friend is here.
“Hey.” Akaza popped is head out the window, and then boldly proceeded to enter the room like it was his.
“Hiiii…” Y/N gave a bland greeting back and sat on the floor.
“Wow, you look even gloomier than before-” He said, poking her forehead and sitting beside her. “If you're so certain that your friends are going to kill you, why do you like them so much in the first place?”
“No.” Y/N shook her head. “I kinda have a feeling that they won't kill me, the worst punishment would be probably me being kicked from the corps altogether or…. I don't know, locked up for life?”
Y/N was right. Even though she wasn't exactly aware of this, after the epidemic village mission and the swordsmith village, her influence with literally more than half of the hashiras had skyrocketed, so the chances of them actually considering giving her a death penalty was almost zero.
“Answer me something instead, Akaza. Now that Muzan saw Nezuko in the sun, what are the chances of him attacking the whole corps?”
He sweat-dropped, and then avoided her gaze awkwardly. “Uuuh… about 100%?”
“Yeah, I knew that.” She sighed, hugging her legs with a dejected expression, she already knew it would go like that from the manga, but with the so many storylines changes she made, she kind of hoped this could change too.
“…what are you going to do?” He asked.
“What are YOU going to do, Akaza?”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“When Muzan appears, which side are you going to fight in? Back then, in that forest…and in that cave… you could've just stopped showing up there from the start, but you kept going there even though you knew that I was going to see you, why? Why… why did you accept to come with me in the first place?”
This caught him by surprise. Too many questions. And all of them are hard ones, to top it off.
“I- even if you ask me, I don't know.”
“Don't know what?”
“I don't why I came with you. And when Muzan appears, I have no idea about which side I will fight on. I'm sorry that I can't answer you.”
“…”
“…are you disappointed?” Akaza tilted his head, his answer did hurt a bit, but he also couldn't bring himself to lie to her either.
“I'm not… disappointed. I understand that it's hard to change, actually, did I ever even asked you if you wanted to change in the first place? I think that I was just being selfish before, like always.” She said, despite her calm tone, Akaza couldn't help but feel even more apprehensive at her lack of emotions.
He bit his lip, and then said in careful words : “You weren't being selfish, I was. I followed you even though I'm wasn't sure about which side I am on, and now you're in this mess. I'm sorry.”
“I'm the one who INSISTED for you to come with me, even though I knew you are an upper moon. This isn't your fault, it's mine.” Y/N cut him off, stubbornly refusing his apology.
Akaza didn't back down and exclaimed : “But the choice in the end was mine, wasn't it?! So, it's clearly my fault!”
“IT WASN'T!! Because of my weakness, you had to reveal herself to help me with that last battle, so it is MY fault!” Y/N's tone also raised.
“JUST LISTEN TO ME ALREADY!! It wasn't YOUR fault, and you would be fine even I didn't have appeared at that time, Hantengu was holding back because he had orders to not kill you and-”
“—But if that's the case, then why did you even appear in the first place?! You're lying just to make me feel better!”
“I'M NOT-”
“Then why-?!”
“I JUST WOULD HATE TO SEE YOU GETTING HURT, OKAY?!”
Y/N took a while to process his words, and when she finally did, she immediately felt her face heat up.
“— EVEN THOUGH THAT ATTACK WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL YOU, IT WOULD STILL HURT A LOT, SO I JUST-”
Y/N interrupted his rambles, blurting out : “What did you say? Can you repeat?!”
“Uh- it would still hurt a lot, so I-”
“No! Before that part!”
“Uh- I just would hate.....to see you…. getting….hurt…” After repeating these words out-loud again, his eyes widened in realization and his face exploded in red, now you could confuse him for a basketball even more easily.
“You don't like seeing me getting hurt? Really?!” Her eyes sparkled in happiness, before her smile suddenly dropped to a smug one. “Jeez! If you give me such a bold declaration, I won't know how to rea-”
“SHUT UP!” He started to pull her cheeks harshly. “THAT'S WHY I HATE TELLING YOU STUFF LIKE THIS-”
“Ow! Ow! I thought that you hated seeing me getting hurt! Ouch! Ow!”
“STOP-”
“Ahaha! Why are you so mad?? Are you embarrassed?”
“You know what!? Fuck you, I'm leaving.” Akaza said, finally letting go of her cheeks and getting up.
How dare him. This low, stupid creature. How dare he hits you-
'Please refrain from cursing in my mind Ether'
Y/N watched as Akaza turned to leave, only to suddenly grab his pants. “What?!”
He looked over his shoulder to glare at her, only to be caught by surprise by her sudden shy expression.
“Can't you stay?” She meekly asked.
“… Hey, can't you be a bit more mindful? Normally, a girl wouldn't ask a potentially dangerous guy to stay with her late at night, you know?” He blankly blurted out.
“I know, but it's not like you will do anything anyway, ha!” She proudly said in response, showing a triumphant smile just after.
An irk mark appeared in his head. “Though you're right, the way you said it is pissing me off for some reason-”
“Yeah yeah, whatever- Lay here! Right here!” She crawled over to her futon and violently patted the right side of it, signalizing for him to lay there.
“Ugh, you're so bossy even when asking for a favor-” The demon grumbled as he got under the sheets, it's almost comical how he always end up doing what she says.
“Okay, good night!” She exclaimed, laying beside him in a very straightforward way and closing her eyes, ready to sleep.
“WAIT- YOU MEANT FOR US TO SLEEP TOGETHER-??” He exasperatedly sat up, staring at her with an incredulous expression.
“…? I thought that it was obvious?” Y/N blankly questioned, you almost could see the question marks floating around her head as she seemed genuinely confused.
“CAN'T YOU AT LEAST ACT A BIT EMBARRASSED? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?!” He harshly pulled the sheets over her head, completely covering her up.
“…. I don't like being alone, that's all.” She pulled the sheets down to reveal half of her face. “Despite this, I don't want to force you, so it's okay if you want to go back.”
Akaza stared at her eyes for a second, his strange unableness to say no to Y/N kicked in again, so he sighed as he laid down again.
“Stay five feet away from me.” He mumbled while his back faced away from the girl.
“You say it like I would attack you or something-” Y/N snickered.
“It sounds like something you would do.”
“No, thanks. I still need to live for now.”
“I won't kill you.”
“Thanks, I guess.”
They both stayed in silence for a bit, the sound of the clock in the wall and the cricket outside being the only noticeable noise.
After a while, Akaza suddenly blurted out : “Y/N, I was thinking about what you asked me… And…”
“And?”
“When Muzan appears, I'm not sure about what I will do. But what I am sure is… I will do anything in my power for you to live.”
“Huh?”
“This time… I want you to be able to live your life.”
More silence. Enough silence to the point that Akaza almost turned to verify if Y/N had fallen asleep, and when he was about to do so, she finally said something :
“Akaza, can I tell you a secret?”
“Go on.”
“This world… I don't really like it. Humans are so cruel, sometimes they are worse than demons. And living is so painful too, I don't understand how you guys can stay stable despite living for so long. Sometimes, for me, even getting out of bed in the morning is hard. I, in fact… I don't think I like living that much. My life has been revolved around others for so long, to the point that when I try to think about what would I do when all of this is finally over, I can't think of anything.”
Akaza turned back to her, surprised at her words and shocked to the point he couldn't say anything.
“I'm not even sure if I am a real person anymore. Are the feelings that I'm having just now things that I learned how to fake after so much time? After I finish saving everyone, what will I be? That thought scares me so much. I'm scared of dying before I can save others, but I'm scared because even if I DO survive after, I'm not sure if I will know HOW to live.”
More silence.
Akaza didn't know what to say. He doesn't know how to comfort people, and in fact, he doesn't even know if Y/N wants to be comforted.
So, despite his embarrassment to do something he normally he wouldn't do, he slowly reached out to grab her hand. “You're real. Y/N. Your hands are warm, unlike mine. You can walk in the sun. Unlike me. You're alive. And you're a real person. I know that your feelings aren't fake, trust me, I would be able to tell if you were acting. And… I'm not sure about how to live too, but let's discover how along the way, okay?”
Y/N stared at him, surprised because she wasn't expecting him to comfort her like this, so much that she gulped down her enormous urge to cry.
“Let's discover how to live together, you say… heh, do you mean you're planning on staying by my side for a long time, Akaza~?” Y/N ended up resorting to teasing him instead, she seems to always be crying or acting vulnerable around him, and she hates it.
His face exploded in red. “You-!! Really, you really know how to destroy the atmosphere!” He angrily mumbled as he once again turned away from her, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to force himself to sleep.
After a while, he suddenly felt a sharp pickle in his neck, he exasperatedly sat up to glare at Y/N with an angry face : “DID YOU JUST BIT MY NECK, YOU FUCKER?!”
“This is vengeance for leaving a hickey on me before! Do you even know how much trouble did it caused me?!?
“That-! That's-!! You know what, I'm leaving! I should have known you would do something weird the moment you made me lay down with you-” He complained under his breath the whole way over to the window, only to suddenly stop when he was about to leave.
Akaza looked over his shoulder, Y/N was sitting on the futon. “Hey… are you going to be fine alone now…?”
She smiled at him in response, it wasn't a smug one this time. “Don't worry.”
He could feel his face heat-up. Since when did he start to think that this annoying girl was actually pretty?
“— After all, you just gave me something to laugh about for the rest of the night! Be careful to not let others see that mark, since in your case, it will be difficult to believe it's a bug bite!”
“YOU'RE SO ANNOYING-" And he left, embarrassed.
Hey, Y/N… Those things you said… I didn't know you felt this way… I'm so sorry…
'Stop. I decided at that time in the mugen train that I wouldn't blame others anymore.'
But still-!
'It's okay.' She slowly reached out to touch the place Akaza was laying a second ago, a gentle smile adorning her face. 'I'm a real person, after all.'