Trigger Warning: toxic relationship- a little hitting and not some not very nice words, slight mention of attempted touching without consent.
*
Lost Myself - Jamie Miller
"Don't talk to me like that, Evelyn. Come on baby, don't do this to me, to us." Austin said, his brown eyes drowning me. Those eyes that once pulled me in and I couldn't stop looking at, now I see them and they're completely different. Not warm and safe anymore. No, these were the eyes of the real Austin Henton, the monster I've let control me for the past 6 months. God, why couldn't I see the signs sooner.
"Let go of me, Austin." I said bitterly as his grip on my bicep tightened, feeling like he was about to break my arm. "Stop you're hurting me." I pleaded as tears began to form in my eyes.
"You didn't care that you're trying to hurt me, by leaving." Austin said as his grip got even tighter.
"We both know I'm not hurting you. You're the one the that slept with someone else." I said as I felt a sting on my right cheek. He had slapped me.
My hand reached up to touch my face as the sting lingered for a couple of minutes.
"Baby, you better watch how you talk to me. The sooner you realize I'm the only one who will put up with your dirty mouth the better it will be for you." He said as he pinned me against the wall.
"Stop, Austin." I cried out, reaching for his arm that was on my bicep still.
"You're pathetic you know that. You go on and run home to mommy and daddy or your big brother, cry to them all you want, but soon you'll realize that I'm the only one who really cares about you and you'll coming running back to me." He says as I find the strength to push him off of me. Tears running down my cheeks, "Get off of me!"
I somehow find the courage to knee him where the sun don't shine, which gets me a perfect window to run away. I'm trying to go but my feet won't move. "NO, PLEASE!!" Tears are running down my face, one after another.
Austin stands back up, his hand coming to my chin, "That wasn't very nice, Evelyn. You're going to have to be punished now." He says as he backs me into the wall again.
I can't stop the tears that are coming, I try to scream but nothing comes out. Soon his hand is traveling down to my waist-
I jolt up, tears running down my face as I'm breathing heavy. It takes a second for me to realize where I am. Before I can comprehend anything I feel two large arms wrapped around me. "Shh, you're okay... it wasn't real." I hear Greyson's deep voice say as I continue to breath heavy.
Just letting the tears fall, I relax into his touch, my back against his chest.
As I slowly start to calm down I register that we're still on the couch, only now hockey is on instead of the movie we were watching. "Wha-"
"Don't talk. Just relax for a couple of minutes." He says as he leans back against the couch, his arms still wrapped around me.
After another couple of minutes, I slowly sat up. I wiped the tears off of my face and started to get up, when Greyson pulled me back down.
I couldn't even look at him right now, I was too embarrassed. I literally just sobbed in his arms because of a nightmare.
"Evelyn." He said in a warm tone.
I kept my face towards the TV screen, suddenly finding a comercial about bug spray very interesting.
"Evelyn." This time his voice was more serious. "Look at me."
I wanted to, but I couldn't.
I felt a hand on my chin as turned my face towards him, "I said, look at me." His tone was serious, but his eyes were telling another story.
"What happened?" He asked, never breaking eye contact.
I tried to say something, but my mouth couldn't form any words.
"Evelyn, if you're gonna live here, and we're gonna have this baby together, you need to be able to talk to me. You don't have to tell me everything if you don't want to, but this needs to be talked about at some point." He says, his thumb moving across my cheek.
I took a deep breath before slowly nodding my head. He reached over and turned on the lamp, his hand leaving my jaw in the process, making me wanting nothing more than to reach out and put it back.
Evelyn, stop.
I swallowed slowly, thinking where to start when he lightly grabbed my hand. "Take you're time, babe." He said trying to cheer me up a little, referencing the night we first met.
"It was about four months ago. I was dating this guy named Austin. He wasn't good for me at all, but I was too blind, thinking I was in love, to see it. Chris never liked him, which was well deserved."
"We dated for about six months, at first he was sweet, everything you'd want in a boyfriend. Then, as time passed the real Austin began to show. It took me a while to realize it, but eventually Sophia knocked some god damn sense into me and I saw who he really was."
"It wasn't until he cheated on me that I finally was done making up excuses, I think part of me always knew, deep down, but when you have a guy who you think your madly in love with, constantly telling you no one else would love you, you start to believe it yourself." I said as Greyson's grip on my hand slightly tightens.
"After I found out he cheated I confronted him, of course he lied about it. And then I came home from work one day to catch him with the same girl in our bed. I told him I was done with his shit and started packing my things. He just got mad and started yelling, and then he grabbed my arm, and his grip just kept getting tighter, and tighter, I thought he was going to break my arm if I'm being honest."
"Is that how-"
"My implant broke? Yeah. Anyways I told him he was wrong, that I wasn't pathetic. He just laughed in my face and told me to go ahead and run to my parents or Chris, and I'd soon realize that no one cared about me but him."
"I think that's the only reason he let go of my arm, because he genuinely thinks that I'll come back."
"Did- did he?"
"He slapped me once, when he tried to act like I was hurting him, and I spoke up about it. But he didn't do anything else, when he backed away thinking I was gonna go "cry to my mommy and daddy" like he said, I kneed him where the sun doesn't shine, grabbed one of the bags I had packed and left the rest of my stuff there, not caring enough to get what was left." I finished telling him as he stared straight ahead of him.
I hadn't realized I was crying again until I felt a hand wipe away a tear.
"Listen, you have to keep this between us. Sophia is the only one that knows." I said looking up at Greyson, he just nodded. "Greyson?"
He stood up without another thought, "What are you doing?" I asked confused as he started pacing.
"Greyson?"
"Hello?"
I stood up and stepped in front of him as his baby blue eyes finally met mine again. "Oh hey, nice to see you again." I said sarcastically as I lightly chuckled. But, he didn't seem to find it funny. Instead, both of his hands came up to cup my face.
Something had shifted between us.
I stared up at him, confused, as he started to lean in. I don't know why but I found myself leaning in also. Our lips barely brushed against each other, "What are you doing?" I asked, closing my eyes.
Before he could answer the doorbell rang as we quickly pulled apart.
He cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck. "Must be the pizza..."
Damn all that happened in like an hour?!
"Right... you should go get that."
"Yeah, I should."
He said as he walked out of the living room.
What the fuck just happened. Did we just almost kiss? Do I want to kiss him? Does he want to kiss me? I need to call Sophia, or Ellie, or Katherine, or all of them.
Pulling out my phone I opened our group chat to see messages from them already.
Ellie: game night w/ the boys tmrw?
Kat: YES
Soph: YES OMG
Kat: Ev, you in?
Ellie: Ev, I was just on the phone with you. ik you're not busy. Ellie: answer our texts bitch
Soph: guys she's probably getting laid by her hot baby daddy rn
Me: i hate you guys
Me: lunch tmrw? i need to tell you guys something... ASAP
Ellie: girl def got laid
Soon Greyson comes back in with two pizza boxes, "This one is yours." He says handing me the one on top.
"Thanks." I already offered to pay for it, but I got yelled at for that.
"If you don't mind, I'm gonna eat this upstairs." I said trying to avoid his eyes.
"I don't care." He said as I finally looked at him, trying to read his face. He looked disappointed? confused? angry? I DON'T KNOW.
I quickly thanked him for the pizza and disappeared up the stairs as fast as I could.
Tomorrow should be interesting...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
DAMN
AHHH
THINGS ARE STARTING TO HAPPEN YALLL
EEK!
WHO CANT WAIT FOR GAME NIGHT????
The next chapter will continue to be in Evelyn's POV, as we get to see what's been going through her mind about the baby, and a certain person, lately.