It's what's been true
"I could tear you apart if I wanted"
May
•1911•
Mariana's POV
"Talk then" I said, as we sat silently at the kitchen table
"I'm... I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I didn't even know what I was doing, I was drunk Mar" he said.
I looked at him for a moment, before he averted my gaze
"Who hit you?" I asked
"Maloney, he found out, Georgie told him it was me" he said
"Does it hurt?" I asked, he nodded once
"Good" I said, leaning back and crossing my arms
"What do you want Thomas?" I asked
"I want to say I'm sorry" he said again
"And you have done, is that all?" I asked
"Mar please, I don't want to lose you" he said
"Yeah well maybe you should of thought of that before you slept with my friend" I said
"Please try and understand I was drunk okay? And it's not like me and you are together" he tried to reason.
"Even if we aren't together, friends are off limits, that's just the way it is Tommy you know that? You'd be happy if I went and fucked Freddie?" I asked, he stopped, and looked down
"Yeah thought not, Tommy you... you told me you loved me" I said.
"I know" he mumbled
"And what was that about exactly? People don't say that accidentally, and definitely not during sex, was it true?" I asked
"I-"
"Was it true?" I asked. I wanted to rephrase.
Is it true?
He didn't reply, just sat there, thinking
"You know I thought we were... I..." I faltered, I didn't know what to say anymore
"What?" He asked, a... hopeful look on his face
"We kissed at the fair, we kissed at Christmas and then that night it was... it was different, it was like it was all that time ago, I.., felt for you, deeply felt for you and you- you ran out on me" I said.
I was hurt, and the tears threatening to spill were terrifying
Because I didn't want to cry in front of him.
"Felt for me?" He asked, I nodded
"I thought maybe we were going to... I don't know, get back together? Get back to whatever we were" I muttered, embarrassed
I can't believe I thought we were anything more than a cheap fuck.
Clearly that's all it was to him
"I'm sorry, I just... I freaked out and I couldn't handle it, us. And then at Danny's you... you ended things Mar not me" he changed direction
"Because I thought it's what was best, for both of us. You didn't exactly object" I said.
"Because I wanted you to be happy" he said.
"Happy?" I scoffed
Was he serious?
"I got... jealous alright?" He said
"Jealous? Of what?"
"I saw you, stood with Luca, agreeing to have dinner with him. After that night, after our night together and I just... I couldn't handle it" he said.
"You saw me talking to him... I never said I'd have dinner with him" I said, I was thankfully pulled away before I had to let the poor guy down.
But he saw? He saw and he jumped into bed with another girl?
"Like I said I was drunk, really really drunk and it'll never happen again, I promise" he said
"Never happen again? Tommy you... you've broke my heart. I thought we..."
"I know. I know and I will make it up to you, I'll do anything just tell me" he said
"You can't" I shook my head, trying not to cry
"Please. Mar please, just tell me, just tell me what I have to do, to fix this, please" he said, moving round to me and grasping my cheeks desperately
"Tommy" I began to cry, I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"Tommy you... at the first sign of trouble you slept with someone else... you slept with my friend" I cried, my own hands grabbing hold of his forearms
"You can't fix this, you can't fix us" I said sadly.
He looked... broken
Tired
His eyes glassy as his grip tightened
"Please just go I... I don't want to see you again, it's over Tommy we... we can't go back to how we were" I said, removing his hold.
He stood up, looking down as he took a breath
"If that's what you want" he said quietly
I nodded, unable to say anything else in fear I'd start sobbing
He slowly walked to the door, nothing but little blue sweets and sadness sat between us.
He paused after he opened the door
"It was true" he said, staring at the door
I looked up at him through teary eyes
"It's always been true" he said, before he left.
The sound of the door shutting opened the flood gates as tears rushed down my cheeks, a broken sob escaping my lips as I tried to control myself
He loves me.
He can't... not after what he's done
And that's why it hurt so much
Because we loved each other.
June
•1911•
"You have everything?" I asked Kerey
"Stop your worrying, we'll be in and out, and we'll be at the yard on time" he assured me
I nodded
I couldn't be tangled up in the actual robbery part, I needed to establish an alibi.
So I was taking myself off to the pub with Freddie and Dot
The Lees could vouch for each other at the camp.
As long as everything went smoothly, this would work.
"Good, and remember... you don't know me, you don't know the factory and you've never seen those guns before in your life" I said
"I've been doing this long before you decided to play the big girl" Kerey commented
"We know what we're doing" Maloney snapped, sat on the front of the wagon
"Good, then good luck" I said.
Tommy's POV
"I said leave it Freddie, she hates me" I said, drowning my sorrows in drunk number nine
"She'll be here soon" he said
"Then I'll go" I said
"That's not what I'm saying" he sighed.
"No, I don't want to upset her, not anymore than I already have" I slurred.
•
Besides, drinking by the canal seemed better
Quieter
"Tommy?" I looked above me, and saw Georgie stood on the bridge
"What do you want?" I asked. I wasn't in the mood for people.
"I wanted to speak to you, I've been looking for you everywhere" she said, sitting beside me
"Well here I am, so speak" I said. I wanted her gone. Quickly
"How did Mariana react? With you?" She asked
"Why do you care?" I asked
"Because she came into my house, threatened me with a knife and she told Maloney" she said
"So?" I asked, I don't care
"So, surely you must have had it worse?" She asked
"Yeah, at least you're still breathing" I said
I felt like my heart had been ripped out
I felt empty
"What do you want?" I asked abruptly.
I didn't want to sit with her
I didn't want to be around her ever again.
"I'm pregnant, I found out before Danny's party I... I think that's why I lost my head a bit" she said
"So?" I said
"So, it's Maloney's, and he doesn't want anything to do with me" she said
"I don't care"
"You should care, what if he doesn't take me back?" She said
"Then you get what you deserve" I said
"Tommy, I need a father for this kid. I need Maloney, if he doesn't forgive me then someone needs to step up" she snapped.
"Me?" I laughed, when I caught sight of her face
"Fuck off Georgie" I said, I was done with this conversation
"Maybe I tell your family, maybe I tell everyone Thomas Shelby got me pregnant" she said
"And maybe Mariana cuts your throat" I replied.
"Will you help Tommy? Yes or no, it's as simple as that" she said
"No, now fuck off, I don't want anything to do with you or your bastard kid" I said.
"You know my future depends on Mariana's as well" she spat
"How'd you figure that?" I asked
"Because it's my boyfriend she's doing business with, my boyfriend she's putting in danger, I need him" she said, before she stormed off.
She... she's doing business with the Lees?
Mariana's POV
"I told you I have the gift" Freddie said adamantly
"You don't have sense let alone a gift" Dotty laughed
"Mariana?"
I looked up from our table, seeing Georgie
"I thought I told you, I thought I made myself very clear about seeing you again" I said
"I need to talk to you" she said
"Leave Georgie" Dotty said
"It's important" she insisted.
I sighed, standing up
"Get me another" I said to Freddie, patting his shoulder as I followed her outside
"What?" I asked, stopping at the doors
"I need you to talk to Maloney, the camp won't let me anywhere near but I... I'm pregnant Mar" she said
"That's not my problem" I said, ready to head back inside
"I need help! I can't raise a child on my own" she argued
"Then you should have factored that in when you jumped into bed with someone else" I said.
"I don't want to force your hand Mar" she said
"Meaning?" I asked, surprised at her audacity
"Meaning, I know everything about that robbery, everything, if you don't talk to Maloney the-"
"Then what? You'll call the coppers? You won't do shit Georgie, you know why?" I said, nearing her, until we were inches apart
"Because if you do, I will kill you" I warned.
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