blue
"i don't know if i like this billie." i huffed, looking at myself in the mirror the day after i dyed my hair.
"it'll grow on you." she joined me in the bathroom, put some toothpaste on her toothbrush and started brushing her teeth. "i like it, you look sexy."
"right now i don't." i shook my head. "my face is so puffy for no literal reason when i wake up! you lie to me everyday we wake up next to each other and you tell me i'm pretty."
"i never lied to you from the day i met you, shut the fuck up." she rolled her eyes before spitting the toothpaste out of her mouth and washing her mouth.
"i wanna post something on instagram, but i don't know what. it's like, i've become so scared to even post anything, even on my story, because i have this new huge following." i complained while relocating back to billie's room and started brushing my hair at her vanity.
billie took my phone and snapped a picture of me from the back, but you could see me through the mirror. "here post this on you story" she gave me the phone.
"i can't, your fans follow me. they'll know i'm in your room billie." i said.
"so what? let them know you're in my room." she shrugged.
"at 8am in the morning? wearing nothing but your t-shirt and short shorts? aren't you scared they might speculate something might be going on between the both of us?" i questioned and looked at the photo. "oh and if they weren't sure i was in your room they'll know for sure i was with youcause your reflection shows in the mirror."
"so what blue? post it! you look cute." billie sat on the edge of her bed.
"you sure?" i bit my lip contemplating.
"yes! blue! do it!"
"fine! fine! i did it." i posted the picture on my instagram story.
"see that wasn't that hard, come on." she sat up and extended her arm for me to take. "mom made pancakes."
"ah blue!" maggie exclaimed. "your hair is blue!"
"really? it looks green to me." i touched the hair on my scalp and brought it way too close to my eye.
"yeah mom it's green maybe you should get your eyes checked out by the eye doctor." billie said.
"or maybe we're color blind, maybe we really are soulmates and we are sick at the same time cause our souls are tied together now." i widened my eyes.
"how do you have this much energy right after you woke up?" maggie laughed.
"i have no idea, i used to never be like this and on a serious note i don't know if i like my hair." i shrugged siting on the chair by the counter.
"i love it, you're just weirded out by it because you've had red hair for two years. you'll get used to it, then you'll get to appreciate it." maggie said as she fixed me a plate of pancakes.
"reminds me of little billie when she had that really dark blue in her hair. i liked the blue on you, billie. it matched your blue eyes." patrick said.
"everyone liked the blue but me. the blue just reminds me of shit i don't want to be reminded of so it's better off if we just move on." billie said before stuffing her cheeks with a fork full of pancakes.
"if it's worth anything you're gonna see little billie again when she turns into a blonde girl next." i said.
"that's in the far future, i'm not planing on changing the black hair anytime soon. my hair has finally stopped falling into clumps in my hands." she shook her head.
"who did you invite for today's show?" patrick asked.
"pretty much everyone i know that is in LA." billie replied.
"did you invite jasmine and richard?" maggie asked.
"and cole" billie nodded.
"cole is so excited to be at the pit, even though i told her there is a possibility the venue may not let her in there, she thinks i'm straight up lying to her." i shook my head.
"no no she'll be in the pit with the girls." billie assured me. "i already talked to matt and told him how many people will be there."
"thank god, she's been looking forward to this for a while." i said before eating some more on the pancake that's on my plate.
"right! how are things going between her and that guy you told me about?" she asked.
"i have no idea, the bitch doesn't want to tell me shit. she thinks i'll scare him away!" i complained.
"i mean i get it. you are scary when you have your resting face on and oh god when you're mad, you're mad. i almost shit my pants yesterday i swear to god." she laughed.
"what happened yesterday?" maggie frowned her brows.
"i beat up her ex." billie casualty said.
"what!" maggie exclaimed. "when did that happen?"
"we ran into her at the sally beauty we were at. i tried to stop billie but she wouldn't stop pulling the girl's hair, she got herself kicked out." i replied.
"that was stupid." patrick said.
"no it wasn't, she deserved it and i don't regret it one bit. i bet you she's bald right fucking now." billie said.
"bald?" maggie frowned her brows.
"billie pretended to care and gave her apocalyptic advice that will make my ex's hair fall out. i doubt it actually happened, i mean her hair fell out, but billie swears on it." i explained.
"billie i'm starting to become horrified of you. since when do you turn to violence when you find yourself in a moment of anger?" maggie said. "your therapist will be hearing of this."
"mom it's not that deep. here, blue. tell me her instagram handle i wanna see her blonde hair melting." billie brushed maggie off.
i can help but think about what maggie just said. it maybe something any other person would have done for me, like i could see riley doing the shit billie did yesterday. but i can't help but be concerned that she turned to violence because she thought it was normal to do so. i know she doesn't think it's okay but i actually do want her to talk about it in therapy.
"here let me write it down, i don't even know if i remember it right." i took the phone from billie's hands. "here"
"look look! her story." billie shoved the phone into my face. "she's balling her eyes out and all her hair is melted on the ground!" she laughed.
"you're evil." i snickered.
"what did this girl even do to deserve this?" maggie asked.
"she cheated on me when i was going through chemo." i replied.
"i didn't know you went through chemo." maggie frowned.
"i didn't know you were okay with other people knowing." billie frowned too.
"it's whatever now, i don't care." i shrugged. "i have a hereditary lung disease and pretty much all of my life i was at hospitals receiving medication for it."
"oh"
"she's all good now though, but she needs to go to a check up every now and then to make sure she's doing good and if she gets a fever she needs to be taken to the hospital to make sure she didn't relapse and shit. it's the reason i take my inhaler with me every nowadays, it's because she refuses to do so." billie said.
"you need to chill billie, i'm all good now."
"but billie is right, you should take your health seriously." maggie said.
"i am taking it seriously. there's just somethings are silly to do." i shook my head laughing.
"the girl deserved to get beat up." patrick commented.
"patrick don't encourage this behavior!" maggie yelled.
"oh come on she's a bitch she deserved what she got."
-
"oh my god blue you will never guess what happened to victoria!" cole came running over to me and hugged me.
"oh i know." i laughed.
"karma got her bad." she laughed with me.
"that type of karma is a billie mother fucking eilish exclusive." billie said.
"huh?"
"long story short billie gave her tips because she wanted to go blonde but she gave her the worst possible things you could do to your hair and she's the reason victoria's hair fell out." i said way to fast
"okay no, i'm sorry. imma need a detailed story." cole shook her head.
"i'm honestly over this. just let billie explain everything she's way too proud of herself."
"alright tell me everything then." cole turned to billie. "love your hair by the way!"
"the blue matches your blue eyes so well!" jasmine gushed and opened her arms for me to hug her.
"everyone has been saying that." i giggled into her embrace.
"now what happened to victoria again?" she said as soon as we let go of each other.
"go run to billie and cole! go!" i pushed her into the green room and she laughed as she went in there to get all the tea.
"you get to travel the world, not just the country and go to work now with your girlfriend, isn't that so much better than what you used to do?" dad said when i crashed into him for a hug.
"oh come on dad, don't start now." i rolled my eyes.
"i'm just saying, i'm proud of you. you look so happy doing what you do and you look happy with billie."
"i am happy, i'm the happiest i've ever been." i said, pulling away from his chest.
"you look like a smurf." he ruffled my hair up. "i like it better than the red and black."
"you do?" i frowned my brows. "i thought you really liked the red and black."
"i did, but it just got old." he shrugged.
"how is mom doing?" i asked.
"she's trying."
"that doesn't sound hopeful at all." i shook my head.
"it's better than her not trying at all and you saw her the other day before you left to miami. she was her again, i don't want to give you false hope but i do think that she's going to be okay. she's been sober."
"now that sounds more hopeful than 'she's trying'" i rolled my eyes.
"you should've filmed the fight and not tried to stop it dumbass." cole hit the back of my head.
"i was trying to keep her from getting arrested and i'm not stupid enough to film her fighting. it could get leaked and ruin her image." i pointed at billie.
"you're no fun."
"like you are." i scoffed. "i haven't seen that boyfriend of yours yet. i wanna meet him already."
"oh yeah kyle is a great guy." jasmine said.
" you've met him?!"
"oh yeah, he came and had dinner with us once at home." she answered.
"you weren't supposed to tell her that!" cole yelled.
"that's it i'm not waiting for you to let me meet him, i'm seriously going to hunt him down."
"no you won't."
"yes i will."
"no you won't"
"oh yes i will."