•💢Suicidal thoughts
•💢Established plan
You ever hear or seen such signs get your loved one help. You maybe the whisper in the darkness they cling to, but take a breath.
(Y/n) stands silently on a section of bridge that crosses the Thames River. The English rain has stopped and you shiver slightly. You don't know if it is because of the dampness from the recent rain or the dark thoughts that circle your mind like ravens over a dead carcass.
Your (e/c) scans the horizon of the old and massive city that is London. It seems alive with all the lights and buses yet so cold filled with lonely souls. Just like you. Just like you feel at this moment. How many are contemplating a follow through with those deadly dark thoughts?
In the not too far distance, a fog is beginning to roll in. Perhaps that is a sign for tonight?
Wait until the fog is thick enough that it will be fast floating until your body hits the cold rushing water of the Thames. The fog would obscure your vision as you fell. Should you wait and leave a note?
No. Your mind says quickly. Your two roommates are oblivious to your plight. You are their meal ticket for rent and food. No note it is then...
Your deep and brooding thoughts of self destruction are jarred by the sound of an odd whistle. (Y/n) turns her head to the park just across the road and the bridge. A light in the park shines long enough on the strolling figure of a man to show his long ebony hair and pale skin. His head has a red fedora pushed down and a crimson overcoat to tie it all together.
Your mind dismisses 'poser' vampire cosplayer. The man likes to be out at night and wear vintage clothes. So you dismiss the impressive man in 'crimson'.
(Y/n) places her head on her crossed arms and studies the ships moving slowly down the river. The Thames is deep and without a suicide note, no one would know what happened.
No one needed to bother with your body. No one to bother with a funeral. Just sink to the deep, cold darkness and slumber for all time to come. Your (d/foot) taps the cement as if bumping your brain to make a decision.
Are you being too hasty?
"Good evening young lady...it is a beautiful night for a walk. Though it is best when the moon is out and full, don't you agree?"
It's the man in 'crimson' You were hoping he wouldn't take an interest but here he is. "Hmm...for some it is always."
"You do not share my sentiments little one?" an exceptionally tall stranger asks.
(Y/n) finally turns her head to look at the stranger. This man is like a dark prince in a gothic dream. Or is it a nightmare? The lines blur so easily. His fingers are slim with odd white gloves on. His facial features are angular like history books speak of ancient royal families such as kings. You could see him older with facial hair sitting upon a dark wooden throne.
"Sometimes I lack the words to express that weight of my heart ..." you whisper as for some reason you know he can hear as if you are trumpeting to the world your response.
The stranger flexes his right hand fingers and tilts his head to give a crooked smile. His English accent hints of not being born in England but a learned accent. His baritone voice is rich and the kind that women write in smut books that make you wet between one's legs. Your darkened mind simply registers it and moves on.
"We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when"
"We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar"
"Shape without form, shade without colour, Paralysed force, gesture without motion;" (Y/n) pauses to catch your breath. This usually sends the shallow packing.
"We ruin the countries we govern
and the people in our care.
We slaughter our enemies
and sacrifice all our allies.
We'll keep killing
till there's nothing left
but to destroy ourselves.
It will never be enough." The man in 'Crimson' answers back.
Hmm, he's not that easy to get rid of. He even offers his own response. Is it a speech? From a poem?
Or is that his own words from his observations of the world as he sees it?
(Y/n) starts again. Many people this day and age find T.S. Elliot tedious but you find truth in his poems.
"Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us-if at all-not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men."
You pause once more,
" Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column"
"There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind's singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star."
The raven haired stranger interjects politely,
"To reign over the kingdom of the world,
to make its peace and write its laws;
to be generous to the obedient
and merciless to all who would stand against you.
Nothing ever changes;
two thousand years
and you still act like the world is yours."
Now (Y/n) turns to look at the stranger more closely. His aviator sunglasses conceal his eyes. You wonder if the dark glasses hide the eyes of an uncaught serial killer.
Perhaps if you could appeal to his ego he you would become one of his next prizes just with only a touch of pain? Your brain now thinks on how much pain you will face for a few seconds when your bones shatter and your organs rupture from a distance off a bridge.
"Shall I continue Sir? I am enjoying your perspective of the world on a dark night such as this..."
The slender man removes his hat and does a slight bow to you. "I am Alucard..."
You now see just how handsome this dark stranger is. His long hair is inky ribbons that flow as if on a breeze. His mischievous crooked cornered smile and his voice silken deep. If vampires were really creatures, he is the king of them all. All Father...you think then let a light and soft laugh out at your silly thoughts.
"You have a lovely laugh. I would like to hear you laugh once more tonight before I leave ...."
You look down at your feet and lick your lips in embarrassment. A small smile ghosts across your lips but for a moment.
" Let me be no nearer
In death's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer-"
"Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom..."
Alucard moves closer to your side as if to study you better. "I am of the twilight kingdom and it would not be a final meeting by my kiss..."
(Y/n) cocks an eyebrow suspiciously. "You are a dangerous man. Perhaps it is better to play with danger then to meet death by my own hand tonight...?"
Some of Alucard's raven strands fall across his face but not before you swear you see upper and lower canines. Sharp and real canines...none like any vampire 'poser' you ever known or met in your lifetime. Yet your rational mind continues to deny what your eyes tell you what he is. So you decide to continue with the poem.
"This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man's hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star."
" Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone."
(Y/n) catches her breath. It is an exceedingly long poem and you usually don't need to recite this much of it.
"Cactus as in a desert plant?" Alucard asks for clarification. You simply nod your head slowly as you look him in the eyes. You wish you could look for a second at his eyes. They must be so beautiful.
" Fight! Fight for the glory of your God!
God does not help those who kneel before Him!
God does not save those who pray for mercy,
for those are not true prayers!
Would you beg in the presence of your Lord?
Your impiety begs only for death!
True prayer is forged in battle!
Dazzle your Lord with your prayer,
and you shall know Him!
You shall know Jerusalem!
After the tearing,
the crushing,
the breaking of men's bones,
when the fruits of our prayers lie at our feet,
God will descend from His throne on high
to bring judgement upon His wretched
and pitiful servants!"
Alucard comes to a stop with his anger filled words from many lifetimes ago. His whole body goes still and he looks to the sky. For a moment in his stillness you think you glimpse a frown. A sadness radiates from him.
"Forgive me Alucard. I must seem like a spoiled child compared to what things you have seen..." and you bow your head ashamed.
"Others your age? Yes most certainly...but you never, little one. I have just enough time for the last of the Elliot's Poem before I need to leave."
"The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley"
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms
In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river"
" Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men."
Alucard stands absolutely still and waits for you to continue.
(Y/n) clears her throat. Perhaps Alucard will get lost with the meaning of this part of the poem:
" Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning."
" Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow"
" For Thine is the Kingdom"
The handsome stranger shifts his long tall body and tilts his head. It seems he has not become bored or lost with T.S. Elliot's last part. His body language is of nothing but giving you the urge to continue.
" Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow"
Life is very long
" Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow"
For Thine is the Kingdom
" For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the"
" This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper."
(Y/n) folds an arm behind her back and bows to Alucard. Alucard flashes a toothy smile. "I leave you with something to ponder...."
Tell me. [smirk] Did your promises come to pass? Where's your God? Where's your Kingdom? What's the matter? Answer me, King? Mad king! They're all dead. Every last soul dead. In service to you and to your promises. For your prayers! For your paradise! For your God! ALL WERE SACRIFICED! Enemies and allies! The people you swore to protect! The country you would rule! Men! Women! Old and young! Even...yourself."
(Y/n) gives an innocent look of confusion. "That sounds like something Kazikli Voyvode would have said in one of his three reigns of Wallachia?"
Alucard hums for a moment to himself, "Does it now? Little one what does Kazıklı Voyvode mean? It is Ottoman Turk..."
"Something along the lines of Sir Impaler?' you reply with a nervous smile. Subtleties get lost in translation.
Alucard doesn't respond but simply puts his red fedora on his head then starts to walk away. He turns his head for a moment and says something that you think is in your head only. "Don't be too hasty yet. Meet me here again, tomorrow night..."
The Hollow Men~ T.S. Elliot
https://allpoetry.com/The-Hollow-Men
Hellsing Quotes
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Hellsing_Ultimate#:~:text=%22We%20ruin%20the%20countries%20we%20govern%20and%20the,to%20destroy%20ourselves.%20It%20will%20never%20be%20enough.%22