The last kiss
"People think intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth"
May
•1909•
Tommy's POV
"It's good ain't it?" I asked, holding the ring up
"Yeah, it's nice" Freddie agreed
David was out today
We were all going to be celebrating
So I was working up the courage to ask her tomorrow night, to officially make her mine.
To live an honest life, do it better than mum and dad did
To love her and keep her safe.
Mariana's POV
The past week had been strange
Tommy hadn't really spoke to me much
Every time I saw him he ducked out too quick for me to actually speak to him
Same for Freddie
I was beginning to think he'd gone off me
I know we weren't anything serious
But to me he was beginning to be
I had feelings for him that ran too deep for just friends
"Mari, a word" Pol said
I stood up from my desk, heading for the office
"No, the house" she said, disappearing into the house
"What? Is everything alright?" I asked
"No, it's not" she said
"What is it?" I asked
"Tommy's badgered me for days to not say anything, but I want to talk about it. I know you killed someone" she said bluntly.
"Pol" I said harshly, looking back into the office before I shut the door quickly
"You know?" I asked
"Of course I know, I know everything" she said
"How did you find out?" I asked
"The boys were talking, I overheard, mind telling me what happened? And why the fuck you murdered someone!" She said angrily
"I..." I faltered, sitting down
And explaining everything.
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"You idiot" she said
"I didn't mean to, I... I lost control" I said
She sighed
"Can it be traced back to you?" She asked
"What?"
"The body, the murder, can it be traced back to you? Will anyone ever find the body?" She asked
"No, I mean I don't think so" I said
It was buried deep.
"Good, then you never speak of it to anyone" she said
"I'm speaking to you" I said
"You know what I mean" she said
"Never breathe a word of it, you push it out of your head, it never happened" she said.
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"I can't believe it" I smiled, hugging David to me
Actually hugging him, being able to...
"Me neither" he smiled, pulling away
He looked older, scruffier
I couldn't wait to take him home
Have him safe.
Get him back in school.
"Come on" I said happily, ready to go home.
•
"Mate" John smiled, running down the street to us and hugging David
"Hey John" he chuckled
"What have I missed?" He asked
"What haven't you missed?" John grinned
"Pint?" David suggested
"No, you have to get home and change first, and you're too young for a pint" I said
He groaned, following John back to the house
Where everyone was waiting for him.
We all wanted to welcome him home.
"Ah fuck sake Mari, I didn't need a party" he laughed, everyone smiling
We finally had something to celebrate, we weren't going to pass up on it.
Even Arthur had shown up, and wasn't pissed off his head as far as I knew
Maybe Polly really had got through to him somehow.
"Alright then, let's celebrate" John shouted, he was beaming since seeing David
And he'd invited that Martha girl round from the pub
Things seemed to be looking up for everyone
Well... not everyone
Tommy was avoiding me every chance he got
He was being so secretive
We hadn't spoken in days
And it made me question us. Whether I was just being an idiot feeling the way I did.
•
Halfway through the party I received a knock on the door
So I went to check who it was
To be met with Lucius Carter on my doorstep
"Uh... what are you doing here?" I asked, stepping out and shutting the door
Mariana's Outfit
I didn't need everyone hearing my business
"The deal, does it still stand?" He asked
"Yes" I said, confused
"According to your boyfriend... it doesn't" he said
"What?" I asked
"Thomas... Shelby" he clarified
"He tells me to stay away from you, that you don't need a deal like this right now" he said
"He did what?"
I can't believe him
I specifically told him to stay out of my affairs
I didn't need to be protected or restricted
What I did was my fault, my actions and my consequences
"Thomas Shelby does not speak for me, I ask in future for you to ignore everything he said, or will say. You are doing business with me, not him" I said
"Good to hear Cortéz, I suggest you get him in line then, because if he threatens me again, he won't be doing business with anyone" he warned
I nodded.
Why would he do that?
•
"This was a good idea, thanks Mar" David said drunkenly, staggering over to me for a hug as he entered the kitchen
"Oh, I'm glad you had a good night" I laughed, catching him as he tripped
"Yeah" he smiled.
But I was more focused on his stomach
His shirt rising when I caught him
Bruises... so many bruises
"David, what are these?" I asked
He looked down, before he waved it off, scoffing
"I had to stick up for myself" he went on
"Make a name for myself or I'd never survive" he laughed.
I was horrified by them. They were everywhere as I pulled his shirt up again, looking at his back
Yellow, blue, purple, blossoming everywhere
Oh god.
He was just a kid. He didn't deserve any of this
"David" I sighed, pulling him in for a hug again
"You're out okay? You'll never go through anything like that again" I promised.
I needed to focus on my brother
On my family
Nala was left without a parent. David was putting on a brave face and yet his bruises told another story
A chilling one.
And here I was, worrying all this time about whether Tommy was still interested in me
When he was actually going behind my back
Ignoring me all the time
I haven't been focusing on the right things
Like stopping these blackouts
Helping David
Caring for Nala. I needed to step up.
Now mum was gone... I needed to look after my family.
•
Everyone had gone home, David had passed out downstairs with John
His first night back and he wasn't even in his own bed
Now I was nervously stood by the back door
Working up the courage to go out to Tommy
Who'd be throwing little blue sweets at my window for the past 10 minutes
I hated what I had to do
But I was done waiting around for a boy that didn't feel the same way about me
I wanted us to stay friends
But I needed to focus on my family now, and sleeping with Tommy was only complicating my feelings when he was showing none for me.
Tommy's POV
I just wanted to see her
Alone
Just me and her
It's been days since we've had a chance to be alone
I've been helping Polly get Arthur back on track
Get him off the drink
I've been planning my proposal tomorrow
The ring sitting in my pocket at all times
I couldn't help but stare at it every chance I got
It'll look beautiful on her, providing she says yes
She finally came out into the alley way.
And my fingers graced over the box in my pocket, out of habit now.
Before I could register it her hands were around me, in a comforting hug
One I had missed these past few days
One I craved.
Her soft hair against my hand as I hugged her back.
"Hey" she mumbled against my shoulder
I pulled away, grasping her cheek to kiss her, but she pulled back herself
"Tommy I..." she sighed, withdrawing from me altogether. Was she okay?
"Look I... I think we should stop... this" she said, gesturing between us
I couldn't help but laugh as I tried to hold her again, she was joking wasn't she?
I thought she had an idea that I felt strongly for her
She pushed me back
I'd bought a fucking ring for gods sake.
"What's the matter?" I asked, trying again to hold her
This wasn't like her, we were good, weren't we?
"I just... I think it's gone on long enough you know... I mean it's not like we were anything serious and I'm 18 now, I need to focus on other things, I can't be sneaking out all the time" she explained
I pulled away from her
I couldn't believe what she was saying
I thought she felt the same, I was going to ask her to marry me.
"Tommy?" She asked
"No... n-no it's uh... it's fine" I said, trying to come up with a single word
"You're right, it's gone on long enough, we should... we should stop" I agreed.
Even though everything in my wanted to hug her, to kiss her and tell her I loved her
But she thought we weren't serious. She clearly didn't feel how I thought she did.
She nodded slowly, looking down for a moment before she neared me again, grasping my neck and leaning up to kiss me
I held onto her with all the strength I had
Because if this was it. If it was over... then this was the last kiss.
The last kiss before she... wasn't mine anymore.
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