Forgiveness sweets
"You walk in and my heart beats different"
December
•1908•
Mariana's POV
After spending an afternoon in bed with Tommy, we'd laid speaking about every thing
How we were coping
How we weren't coping
Arthur and John. Poor little Finn. David and Nala
Us...
"I'm just suggesting you... we don't see other people" he said
"I wasn't anyway" I said
"Good, me neither" he confirmed, and it settled the flutter of worry in my chest
I'd never thought of Tommy with... someone else
He'd never had a girlfriend, he'd never had a girl in his bed
He spent all his time with me and Freddie
And before I knew it, I became the girl in his bed.
"So what does this mean?" I asked, unsure of where we were
"It doesn't have to mean anything, it just means that we only fuck each other" he said
"Is that all we do? Fuck each other?" I asked
"No" he said after a pause
"We... you're more than a fuck, you know that" he said
"Do I?" I asked quietly
"Yes" he said, grasping my cheek in his hand
"You've always been more" he said, kissing me again.
"Mar I... I wanted to tell you but I just... every time I try to I get nervous or we get interrupted and well... I lo-"
And a knock on the door cut him off
"What we're you going to say?" I asked, ignoring it
"You should get that" he said
"Tommy?" I asked
"Just... get the door" he said, seemingly deflated
Oh. Was he going to say he... loved me?
I stood up, grabbing my dressing gown before answering the door
And there stood John, holding Nala
"John?"
"I found her in the pub, Kinney was drinking with some guys, they asked him to join them to the next pub, he said yeah and he left her behind, he was so fucked Mar, I don't think he even knew where he was" he explained, following me into the living room.
I took her off him
I trusted him, I trusted the fucking idiot.
"Thanks, for bringing her home" I said
"It's okay, it's my job ain't it" he laughed
"What do you mean?" I asked
"Tommy he... asked me to follow Kinney" he said unsurely.
"He what?"
"Yeah I thought you knew" he said
"No, I didn't" I said
"Shit, well I've got to go" he said, heading to door
Idiot...
"Who was it?" Tommy shouted from upstairs
"John, he found Nala at the pub, Kinney left her" I explained, gaging his reaction
"Shit, is she okay?" He asked, getting up
"She's fine" I said, putting her down in her crib
She was smiling, babbling to herself, so thankfully she wasn't distressed.
"Yeah, I just wonder what John was doing there, wasn't he working?" I asked
"Must have got the day off" he shrugged
"Mm, or you sent him" I said, crossing my arms
He stared, assessing how angry I was
"Fine, so what?" He asked
"Tommy, it isn't your business, it isn't your problem" I said
"You are my problem, Nala is my problem, you really think it was a bad idea to send someone after him? Look what he did" he said.
"That isn't the point, the point is it's my mess, my problem, I don't need you interfering Tommy I don't need a babysitter" I said.
I was capable of handling my own problems
I was thankful John was there but the thought of Tommy going behind my back and undermining what I had decided... it hurt me.
"Fine, whatever" he said, heading out the door
"Where are you going" I asked
"Home" he said, trailing down the stairs
"Tommy" I tried
"No, I just tried to look out for you" he snapped, leaving.
Shit.
John's POV
"It was good thing you did, taking that baby" the barmaid smiled, handing me another drink
I came back to the pub after dropping Nala off, it was better than going back to work.
And the barmaid weren't too bad to look at
"Thanks, that mean I get a drink for free?" I chuckled
"How about a drink later tonight?" She suggested
Forward, I like it.
I smiled to myself
"Are you asking me out?" I asked
"I... I guess I am, yeah" she said, suddenly becoming less confident
"Do you even know my name?" I laughed
"You're John, John Shelby" she answered
"Yeah and you're..."
"Martha... Vance" she said
"Vance? You related to Dot?" I asked
"She's my cousin" she said
I nodded
"Alright doll, let's have a drink" I said
"Doll?" She asked
"Yeah, when do you finish?" I asked
"10" she smiled
"See you then" I said, returning to my friends at our table.
Maybe things weren't all too bad.
Mariana's POV
I've been throwing these fucking sweets for ages now
Why isn't he answering?
The back door opening frightened the shit out of me though, and cut off all thoughts
"Why are you throwing shit at my window?" Tommy asked
"It's what you do to me when you need me isn't it?" I asked.
"And what do you need exactly?" He asked
"Forgiveness?" I asked, holding out the bag of blue love heart sweets
They were our favourite
"What are they?" He asked
"Forgiveness sweets?" I smiled
He rolled his eyes, before taking the bag and sitting down on the crates
"So you... do forgive me?" I asked
"Maybe" he said
"Come on Tommy, I'm sorry alright but, I just don't want you thinking that you can do it all the time" I said
"What?" He asked
"I have my own stuff going on and I need to handle it myself, I just don't want you feeling like you constantly have to get involved and protect me" I said
"I will, because you always do need protecting" he said
"No I don't" I denied
"Sure" he mumbled, popping a sweet in his mouth.
"Truce?" I asked instead, sitting down as well
"Truce" he said, pulling a bag out of his pocket, throwing it into my lap
"What's this?" I asked, opening it
"Forgiveness sweets" he said, making me smile as I opened the bag.
Little blue love heart sweets.
February
•1909•
Tommy's POV
"What is all this?" Freddie asked
"All what?" I asked
"This weird fucking mood you've been in, you keep spacing out" he said
"I got a lot on my mind" I said.
"You have a girl on your mind" he corrected
"So what?" I asked
"You should try it sometime, might make you less of a dick" I said
"I have just fine luck with girls thank you" he dismissed
"Seriously though, you're acting different the past few months" he said
"Maybe I am different" I said
The past few months with Mariana have been... different
Closer...
I knew I had feelings for her when we were kids but this is something else
I wanted to tell her, to put it out there that I loved her
That I'm in love with her
But she always jokes about us being casual
That we're best friends and she treasures that more than anything.
And I don't want to push her away
Mariana's POV
"What about red?" Georgie asked, turning to show us the next lip stick she'd put on
"You look good in anything Georgie" Dorothy said
She'd been... down since the abortion.
She tried to put on a brave face
But she'd been avoiding Arthur ever since he shouted at her
And he'd made no effort to contact her
He was too wrapped up in his wallowing or trying to please his dad.
"Oh come on guys I need more enthusiasm than that, this is a wedding I'm going to" she said
"A Lee wedding" I chuckled
"And what's wrong with that?" She asked
"Nothing, but you have to admit they're... not exactly the royal family" I laughed
"No they're not, but they're still a respectable family" she said, frowning
The Lees were anything but
They were thieves, murderers, they double crossed nearly every deal they made and only looked out for themselves.
"Okay, I'm sorry" I said, backing down
The last thing I needed was Georgie's sour mood in my life
"Speaking of, how's your love life? Any guys on the horizon? We all know Dots in the shit bu-"
"I'm fine actually" Dot snapped
Georgie rolled her eyes, looking at me
"No, no guys" I said
Me and Tommy weren't something I wanted everyone knowing about.
We were us. That was that.
"Really? I thought Tommy was looking at you quite differently these days" she said
"Is he?" I asked, looking at Dorothy
"Yeah, if you can't see that that boys in love then you're an idiot" she laughed.
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