"I told you, I am never coming back." Sandrine pushed me on the side of the hallway.
"Wait.." i grabbed her arm breathing heavily. "Can you at least give me five minutes?" pleading.
"Can't you see?" Sinenyas niya ang entrada ng condo. "My boyfriend is waiting for me." Umigting ang panga niya and intensely looked at me.
Napa luwag ako ng kapit sakanya, nanghihina, nawawalan ng pag-asa. "Now? Can I go?" naagaw na niya pabalik ang kamay.
"Seriously Hue.. you need to move on." She calmed down. "It's been a year. Everyone is moving forward except you." She looked at me a few seconds more bago tuluyan akong talikuran.
She carried the remaining things she had in my condo. I watched her walk away from me. Kada yapak niya ay siyang unti unti pag gunaw din ng mundo ko.
Every part of me wanted to chase her. I wanted to just pull her and freeze time so I could hug her for one last time.
Marahan akong pumihit patalikod, balisa, di malaman kung ano ang gagawin. I just unconsciously walked myself papasok ng elevator.
Nanghihina kong pinindot ang button ng floor ko and just looked down.
Just when the door was about to close a hand just instantly slipped to stop it from closing.
Sandaling sinulyapan ko lang ang pumasok at nagbaba ulit ng tingin bago umatras sa bandang likod.
Sa sobrang tahimik, halos ang tunog lang ng elevator ang tanging maririnig. Para sa akin nakakarindi.
Inip na inip akong naghihintay makalabas, tila bumagal kumpara kanina ang andar neto.
Napasandal nalang ako at tumingala habang sunod sunod na bumubuntong hininga.
Bigla ako napahawak sa railings nung gumaralgal ang tunog neto at biglang napatay lahat ng ilaw.
"Ahhhhh!!!" Inis na sumigaw ang kasabay ko. "Tangina talaga!!!" sigaw pa neto.
Gulat akong napatingin sakanya as she vents out her frustrations.
Hinablot niya ang cellphone mula sa bulsa niya at pinindot pindot eto habang tinataas sa ere.
"Ahhhh!!! Ngayon pa talaga ako dinapuan ng kamalasan!" inis niya muling sigaw.
Padabog siyang umupo sa sahig at pumadyak padyak pa.
Muli akong nagulat nung tinapunan niya ako ng masamang tingin.
"W-what?" Kabado kong natanong.
"Anong what?" Tumaas ang kilay niya. "You're the one looking at me kanina pa. I should be asking you that question."
"S-sorry.." utal kong nasabi. "Nagulat lang ako sa'yo." Nagiwas nalang ako ng tingin at nahihiyang umupo na din sa sahig.
"Kabuysit" inis niyang bulong. "Nakahanda na kamay ko manampal eh."
Bigla nalang natahimik katapos nun. Walang may umimik sa aming dalawa.
I slid my hands on my pocket to grab my phone. Wala paring signal and I'm almost dead batt.
Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas bago nagsalita muli ang kasama ko.
"Wala bang gumagamit ng elevator dito? Di ba nila alam na nasira to?" Nag angat ako ng tingin sakanya pero di manlang siya sumulyap sa akin.
"Gabi na kase.." napalunok ako ng laway. "Usually wala nang gumagamit ng elevator at this hour, except kung naglilibot ang guards."
"Edi anong oras sila naglilibot? Di pa ba sila maglilibot? Kanina pa tayo dito eh. Halos 20mins na tayo dito sa loob." she rolled her eyes.
"Usually.. 11pm pa sila naglilibot." I grabbed my phone to check the time. "It's just 9pm.." i sighed. "But if we get lucky na may taga rito pang uuwi palang at this hour we might have a chance to get out as soon as possible.."
"Tangina. Pati ba naman dito walang kasiguraduhan?" napapadyak siya muli ng paa.
"S-sorry.." nahihiya kong sabi.
"Ba't ka nagsosorry? Ikaw ba gago kong boyfriend?"
"Hindi.."
"Oh edi wag ka mag sorry.."
"Okay.. S-Sorry.."
"Lintek na— tsh" nilingon niya ako. "Wag ka nga kase mag sorry. May kasalanan ka ba?"
Di na ako sumagot at nagbaba nalang ng tingin.
"Buti pa ang walang kasalanan kusang nag sosorry. Eh yung tarantado may kasalanan na nga ayaw pa umamin!" galit niyang sabi.
I exhaled heavily. This is so awkward.
"Wag ka huminga ng malalim huy." Pagtawag niya. "Wala tayong masyadong hangin dito sa loob." ngumisi siya.
Wow. Biglang change of mood?
"I'm sorry for being too aggressive.." bahagya siyang napatawa. "I'm just having a bad day.. no.. scratch that. A bad life rather." umiling iling siya.
"Same" wala sa sariling nasagot ko.
Nagkatinginan pa kami bago natawa sa isa't isa.
"Alara.." she handed her hand to me, smiling.
"Huey.." i reached back at her.
"Cute name.. parang pangalan ng hindi mananakit." She laughed.
Napa ngiti ako. "Pangalan lang ng masasaktan?"
"Whoa.." she surrendered her hands. "I did not say that.. you did."
"Tsh. Okay lang.. totoo naman." pilit kong ngiti. "Alara is nice too.. it means cheerful right?"
She was quite impressed by the look on her face. "How did you know that?"
"I'm quite curious pagdating sa names. I don't know a lot.. but it happens that I know yours.." I smiled.
She interestingly looked at me. "So.. what does Huey mean?"
"It means.. bright in mind, heart and spirit." bumilog muli ang bibig siya sa pag hanga.
"Wow. You surely are brind in mind.. that's all I can say." She shrugged her shoulders.
"But unfortunately.." i sighed and looked down on my fingers. "Not quite bright in the heart." I smirked.
"We can't have it all Hue.."
Gulat akong napatingin sakanya. Only Sandrine calls me by that name. Tila panibagong tunog eto sakin ngayong iba na ang bumanggit neto.
"Why?" Nagtataka niyang tanong.
"Nothing.." umiling ako at ngumiti.
"Did I say something?" Napatakip siya ng bibig.
"'N-no.." pagpigil ko. "I just remembered something. But it's not important."
"You wouldn't react that way if it's not "important"" she emphasized the last word.
"I just remembered my ex. Yun lang naman"
"Yun lang naman? It sounds like a big deal if you ask me.."
"Do you really speak whatever is on your mind?"
"Am I being too outspoken? Sorry." Nahihiyang nag iwas nalang siya ng tingin.
"Ba't ka nagsosorry? Akala ko ba pag walang kasalanan hindi kailangan mag sorry?" I laughed a little.
Hindi siya sumagot at natahimik nalang sa isang sulok.
"Ilang taon na kayo?" I asked out of the blue.
"Two.." she smirked. "Kayo?"
"Three.." i leaned my head on the elevator wall.
"How long have you two been separated?" She asked.
"One.." mahina kong sagot.
"That long.." pabulong niyang nasabi.
"But not long enough to make me forget her.." mahina kong sagot ulit.
Nakatitig lang siya sa akin. Di makapa ang akmang sasabihin, it seems like she's just holding back what she wants to say dahil kumikibot lang ang labi neto.
"Go on. Just say it." Natawa ako sa reaksyon niya.
"Feeling ko mas masakit pala nararamdaman mo compared to mine." ilang segundong natigilan siya. "Mas masakit atang maiwan knowing you still love that person."
"Masakit din naman maloko." Depensa ko. "It's just a different kind of pain. But still, it's pain."
"But I'd rather be left than to be cheated on, harap harapan."
"Why would you say that?" kumunot ang noo ko. "Why are you choosing between two painful things? Pareho parin naman yung masakit."
"Di ko alam.." pilit siyang ngumiti. "I've been invested in this love too much and it feels like lahat ng yun ay nasayang lang."
"Ganun din naman pag naiwan ah? Same investment, same pain." i sighed. "I too have built a huge wall around our love to protect it. And when she left, it all went crashing down on me and I was there standing staring at our ruins."
"Lalim naman nun?" nagtagpo ang kilay niya. "But seriously, I understand."
"That's why you shouldn't be choosing between two pains. You should be wishing to have felt something else." i smiled.
"I have no choice. Loving the wrong person really means being hurt in the end." seryoso niya akong tinignan.
"No. Even loving the right person, you can still he hurt. But what makes it different is in the end, it will be worth it. Because he is the right one." pagtatama ko.
"Sheda ka Hue!" Humawak siya sa ilong niya bigla. "Magdudugo ako sa'yo eh!"
"Gagi." Natawa ako. "Matino usapan natin gumaganyan ka."
"Joke lang!" she smiled. "I'm just trying to be funny.. mabigat na nga dinadala natin magdradrama pa ba tayo?"
"It worked.."
"Huh?" Di niya naunawaan.
"You.. trying to be funny." I smiled. "It worked. You made me laugh.. well, somehow."
Her eyes just instantly brightened and she gave me a smile.
Dahan dahan kong ginapang ang sarili papalapit sakanya.
"Thanks Alara.." I sincerely smiled. "I'm glad we had this talk. It made me realize that hindi lang ako ang nakakaranas ng ganito and there are people out there probably experiencing the same thing.." i held her hand slowly.
Nagbaba naman siya ng tingin sa kamay kong nakahawak sakanya.
"And I hope.." sabay kaming nagangat ng tingin sa isa't isa. "We won't get stuck in this feeling forever."
"Huey.." she tightly gripped on my hand. "We won't get stuck forever.."
Napatayo kaming dalawa pareho nung biglang gumaralgal muli ang elevator at tila sirang bumbilya ang mga ilaw sa loob.
A few seconds later.. it began working again.
Sabay kaming napabuntong hininga in relief.
"Honestly.." sambit niya. "I forgot that we were stuck." Natawa siya.
"Me too.." nahawa ako tawa niya.
Biglang bumukas ang elevator door at sumalubong sa amin ang dalawang guard kasama ang lalakeng nagayos ng elevator.
"Sorry po ma'am.. sir.." pagpapaumanhin neto. "Natagalan po kase bago makita kung asan yun problema sa elevator."
Umiiling na tumawa nalang kami pareho na lumabas sa elevator.
"Okay lang kuya.." nakangiting sagot ko sa guard.
"Sorry sir. Pasensiya na ulit."
Tinanguan ko lang ang guard at naglakad na kami sa hallway.
"I told you we won't get stuck forever.." nakangiti niya akong tinignan.
"Was that the elevator? Or our feelings?" Paglilinaw ko.
"Both." Natigilan kami sa paglalakad at humarap sa isa't isa. "Just like when we got stuck inside, natagalan.. but eventually we managed to get out. Because we are not destined to get stuck in that situation that long."
Nakamaang akong nakinig sakanya.
"We did get sweaty, who knows? We could have lost air to breathe.." she shrugged her shoulders. "The process was unsure.. unpredictable, we don't know if how long we'll be stuck." She slowly held my arms and rubbed it. "But hey? We got out right?"
"And just like our emotions.." i said. "It may take us a long time.. but we can't be stuck in this feeling forever."
She nodded in agreement.
Akmang bibitiw na siya sa pagkahawak sakin pero pinigilan ko siya. "Wait.."
"Oh? Bakit?"
"Aren't you gonna slap someone earlier?"
"Ikaw naman!" Natawa siya bigla. "Nakalimutan ko na eh! Nag remind ka pa." She slowly pushed me.
Napangiti ako. "Change of mind?"
"Change of heart." She smiled. "We don't wanna be stuck, right?"
"Thank you Alara.." hinawakan ko ang kamay niyang nakawak sa braso ko. "Thank you so much.."
Who would have thought that being stuck in an elevator with a complete stranger would turn out to be a good thing? A great thing rather. How can a unlucky moment be actually be a lucky one?
Sabay kaming napalingon sa bumukas na pinto sa tapat namin.
"Lara?" gulat na pagtawag ng lalake.
"Babe—." Sambit pa bigla nung babae mula sa likod niya.
Pareho kaming apat nagkatitigan sa isa't isa.
"Gago." Malutong na sabi ni Alara.
"Babe? S-sino sila?" Inangkla ng babae ang braso sa lalake.
Nagpapalit palit pa ang tingin ang lalake kay Alara at kasama niya. Di alam kung ano ang isasagot.
"Tara Hue?" Biglang humarap ulit si Alara sa akin.
"Huh?" Bulong ko.
"Nakawala na ako, ba't pa ako mananatili dito?" bulong niyang sagot.
Di pa man ako nakakasagot ay hinatak niya na ako pabalik sa direksyon ng elevator.
"Lara!" Pagtawag ng lalake sakanya.
She just raised her middle finger in the air while walking.
"Dali!" tumawatawa siyang tinulak ako papasok ng elevator.
"Boyfriend mo?" tanong ko bigla.
She smirked. "Correction. Ex."
"Sorry."
"Ayan ka nanaman ah." Kumunot ang noo niya.
Bigla akong napataas ng kamay, surrendering.
Pareho kaming napatawa sa pinag gagagawa namin.
The elevator bell dinged, the moment she doors opened hinatak niya na ulit ako palabas.
"Teka.." natatawa kong pigil.
We are both at the building's rooftop. Sinasalubong kami ng malamig at preskong hangin.
Sabay kaming naglakad at sumandal sa railing on the edge.
I slowly looked at her.
Her eyes began twinkling while looking at the city light. Her hair brushing off due to the strong wind. And her smile..
Teka.
Sunod sunod akong napakurap kurap ng mata ko.
I was mesmerized at wala sa sariling napa ngiti habang nakatitig sakanya.
"Wag ka masyadong tumitig." Bigla siyang nag salita without getting her eyes off from the view. "Baka masanay ka, hanap hanapin mo." dahan dahan siyang lumingon at binigyan ako ng napagandang ngiti.
Ngiti na nagpapalambot ng puso. Ngiti na tila nagpabago mg bugso ng damdamin ko ng ganun ka bilis.
A complete stranger to becoming something else.
Napaatras ako sa gawi niya while hiding my smile.
Pero bigla siyang humarap sa akin.
"Ang sabi ko lang naman wag ka masyado tumitig ah?" She smiled.
"Ha?" Napamaang ako, gulat.
"Di ko naman sinabi lumayo ka."
"A-andito lang naman ako.." utal kong nasagot sabay kamot ng batok.
Matamis siyang ngumiti at iniabot ang kamay sa akin.
Eto nanaman at biglang bumagal ang paglipad ng buhok niya dahil sa hangin, ang ngiti niya palawak ng palawak hanggang sa mawala na ang mga mata niya.
"Hue?" pagtawag niya at bigla akong napukaw.
"Alara.." sambit ko
Nagkusa nalang siyang kunin ang kamay ko at hinatak ako papalapit sakanya.
Masyadong magkalapit, na halos naglalaban na ang hanging nilalabas namin.
"This is a feeling I'd like to get stuck into." kumikinang ang mata niyang tumitig sa akin. Nakakalunod.
"What feeling?"
"Happy.." she said while slowly putting her face closer to mine until our noses touched.
Napapikit ako dahil akala ko may kasunod pang mangyayari.
"Don't close your eyes.." bulong niya. "You might miss the view.."
Marahang minulat ko ang mata ko.
Magkalapit man, pero tanaw ko parin ang malalalim at nakakalunod niyang mata.
"I think I'd like to get stuck here too.." wala sa sariling nasambit ko.
We both smiled with our noses still touching.
— END —