DYLAN
It has been two years since my parents died. Two years since our family friend adopted me and my sisters.
I still wake up every morning and miss my parents. That will probably never change.
It's around seven in the morning. I'm wide awake, staring at the ceiling of my bedroom. I look at the pink princess clock on my bedside table.
Jeez...
Ten minutes have already passed.
"Dylan! Come on dear, your bacon and eggs are going to get cold!"
And that would be Jessica, my mom's best friend who adopted me and my sisters. She's really sweet and takes good care of us.
I slowly get out of my bed and walk into the kitchen, the smell of bacon filling the air.
"Well nice of you to join us, sleepy head!" Jessica says, messing up my hair by ruffling it. Well, messing it up even more than it is already.
I smile a bit as she hands me my plate. I eat the bacon and eggs quickly. As soon as I finish eating, I jump from the barstool and walk to the bathroom to get ready.
I look in the mirror as I brush my long red hair. I quickly look away as I finish brushing my hair. I dig through the drawers, looking for...
Found them!
I put a purple butterfly clip in one corner of my hair and then a blue one in the other corner. I then brush my teeth.
I go to my room to pick out an outfit and put it on. I pick out a blue long sleeve shirt and a green t-shirt to go over it. I also put on some flare jeans and Converses.
I grab my backpack and walk out the door. I prefer to walk to school. It helps me clear my head. I don't really care that it's raining outside.
It's my first day of fifth grade and I'm super nervous about it. I try to clear my wandering mind. I take a deep breath.
It's all going to be alright...
I try to convince myself by saying that over and over again in my head.
I approach the school after about fifteen minutes of walking. I can see the empty playground and the red brick school building. I walk slowly to the front doors of the school. I walk in and look for my friend, Jamie. She's talking to my other two friends, Molly and Kirrie.
Molly is a real poetry lover. She likes to read poetry and write it too. She knows a lot about it. Sometimes I wish I knew as much about it as she does.
Kirrie likes to sing. I do as well. I don't like to sing in front of people though. It makes me super nervous. I'm pretty sure I'm not that good anyway, so yeah.
Still looking over at Jamie and my other friends, I see Riley standing with them. Riley Matthew. The boy I have had a crush on since second grade. I know it's kind of cliche, but there is just something about him.
I would probably hide in my room for the rest of my life if he ever found out though.
No.
Make that a one hundred percent, absolutely, most definitely I would.
I take a shaky breath. I decide to wait for my friends to come over to me. Sure enough, they do. Jamie first. Jamie smiles at me and gives me a friendly side hug that turns into a hug that almost breaks my ribs. Jamie stops hugging me and grabs me by the shoulders.
"How was your summer? oh my gosh!"
I think for a minute about how to answer.
"Well, it was okay. We went to Hawaii."
Jamie looks at me in understanding. She knows about my parent's death's and how hard it's been on me. She knows that a trip to Hawaii wouldn't make anything better.
She has somewhat of an idea at least because I told her. I'm glad I have her to talk to. Gosh, am I glad. I tell her everything. She's an amazing friend. My best friend.
You know my crush that told you about? Yeah, Jamie knows about that too. I didn't really tell her. Jamie and Molly kind of guessed it. They're good at telling things like that. I'm not.
Kirrie and Molly come over to me and Jamie. They both hug me and ask how I've been. A lot of people have been asking me that. I never know what to say. It's been two years and I'm still wondering when they're going to come home? I can't say that. I just can't.
The bell rings and we all walk to class. Everyone is flooding the hallways now, trying to get to class. It's hard to not get trampled. I try not to though. I find my way to my homeroom class. Finally. I decide to sit in the very back. Miss Duncan introduces herself briefly and then everyone starts talking.
I look over and at the desk next to me is...
Heather Delane.
I feel a deep pit forming in my stomach. I try to breathe normally but it's really hard to. Heather has been super mean to me since... forever. All I have ever been is nice to her.
I lay my head on my desk. After a few minutes, I catch Heather doing something out of the corner of my eye. I look over. She's writing something on a piece of paper with her pink, glittery gel pen. I watch her pass it forward after she finishes writing whatever it is.
It gets passed up to...
Riley.
This is really, really bad.
The pit in my stomach only grows bigger. I can hardly think or breathe. I take a shaky breath and try to calm myself down. I have no idea what that note said but it couldn't have been anything good. If I'm being honest, it looked a bit like a love note. Which is still very bad.
I put my forehead on the desk and let some of my red hair fall over onto the desk. I support my chin with my forearms tucked underneath. I lift my head once I receive my paper to do today's assignment. Which is actually really easy. I finish it in like five minutes. Once I turn in my assignment, I decide to doodle something in my journal.
Then the bell rings and it's time for computer lab. Everyone else is playing games on the computers while I'm writing and doodling in my journal. I usually write about how I'm feeling. Jessica says it's good to do that.
I'm embarrassed to admit this but... Sometimes I write songs in my journal too. Love songs.
And you're probably judging me right now.
But part of me has always dreamed of finding love. I think everyone dreams of finding love though. At least somewhat, right?
The bell rings and I put my journal in my backpack. It's time for gym class. Oh, how I hate gym class. As we jog our two laps around the playground I try not to pay attention to Heather. She is always the fastest.
And I'm... not.
I usually start to feel sick to my stomach afterward. Which is when we have to play dodgeball with colorful foam dodgeballs.
This is going to be great.
We get put into teams and line up on opposite sides of the gym. Then we start throwing dodgeballs at each other. Pretty simple, right? Yeah, that's until you're playing with the most competitive girl in the whole school...
Heather.
I start throwing a few dodgeballs at people on the other team. I only get two of them out. I throw one more and miss.
Uh oh.
Heather looks at me, dead in the eyes. She's definitely mad about me throwing the dodgeball at her. She looks like she's gearing up to fight.
Sorry?
Too late.
Heather throws a green dodgeball at me. It hits me square in the face. I'm out. I go and sit with everyone else who is sidelined.
Heather looks at me and starts making an L shape with her fingers in the air.
"Haha! Loser!" She yells
I try and fight back the tears as everyone starts laughing at me. I really try. I can't help it though. Warm tears start slipping down my cheeks. I sniffle a bit and try to suck it up. Luckily, no one notices me crying.
After our team wins, gym class is over. Everyone starts heading to the cafeteria for lunch. I walk with Kirrie and Molly and we get in line for our food. It's pizza. Which is probably the best thing the school serves.
I walk carefully behind Molly as we grab our trays and put in our lunch numbers. We go and sit with Jamie and...
Riley!?
Oh my gosh. I might actually die. I can't breathe. I can't do anything. I'm so nervous and my heart is pounding. Please universe, help me. He's looking at me now, oh no.
Why in the world is he sitting here?
Why did this have to happen to me?
I've never really talked to him before. It makes me too nervous. As you probably can tell, just being near him makes me nervous.
I'm sure most of you understand that.
I give him a small smile. I hope I don't look as nervous as I feel right now. Seriously. No fun.
I decide I should introduce myself. Here goes nothing.
"Hi! I'm Dylan Mayfield. I don't think we've met."
Wow. Seriously.
That's the best I could come up with?
"I'm Riley."
He introduces himself. But he doesn't know that I already know his name. It's cool I guess. It went better than I thought. At least I didn't completely embarrass myself, right? I try to distract myself by sipping my water and briefly talking to Jamie. It helps.
The bell rings and it's time for class again. This class goes by pretty quickly. Once the bell rings, it's recess time. Everyone is shoving their way to the playground.
I end up walking with Jamie. We go over to the swings that are by the edge of the playground and by the trees. Jamie and I just sit there, swinging. She talks to me a bit and I listen.
After about fifteen minutes, I see Riley sitting over by the trees. He looks... upset. I decide to go see what's wrong. I pick a purple flower from by the swing set and start walking over to him.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm like super nervous doing this. But I can't just sit there.
As I approach him, he looks up at me. He definitely is upset. I sit down next to him. My heart is pounding again.
Come on. I can do this.
"Here. I picked this and I thought maybe you'd like it."
I hand him the purple flower. Our hands touch which definitely makes my cheeks red.
My mom always picked me flowers when I was upset. It helped me so... maybe it would make him feel a bit better?
He smiles.
"Thanks."
I feel relieved. He didn't seem to think it was weird. I just sit there for a moment. We both do. It's peacefully quiet besides the yelling of kids on the playground.
I start staring at the sky.
It's a moment I never thought I'd have again since my parents died. Happiness. I feel... happy. Just sitting here with... him.
My crush since second grade.
I know I'll probably never have a chance with him... but it feels nice being here right now. In this moment.
Then the bell rings. I run over to Jamie so we can walk to class.
In my last class of the day, we get to just chill. Which I'm thankful for. Then the bell rings to go home. I usually walk home but today Jessica decides to pick me up. I have no idea why. I walk out of the school and to Jessica's car. I open the door and get in, buckling my seat belt.
Jessica looks at me and smiles.
"Are you ready for a girl's day!?"
I look at her, confused.
"We are going to get our hair done and going clothes shopping!"
Well, that'll be fun I guess.
"Sounds great."
I know Jessica is just trying to do the best she can. I've just had a rough day. But hey, maybe this girl's day will make me feel a little better.
I sigh and look out the window of the car as we drive. It's house after house. Building after building.
We arrive at the hair salon. I look at the extravagant sign as we pull into the parking lot. Once we park, I unbuckle and get out of the car. Jessica does too. We walk in and the lady greets us.
"Hello! Welcome to Project Beauty! Take a seat and someone will be right with you!"
I take a seat in one of the salon chairs and Jessica sits in the one beside me, smiling.
"Are you excited?"
I nod.
"Yep!"
I take a deep breath. Soon, a woman comes up to my chair. I'm pretty sure she's going to be doing my hair. She smiles at me in the mirror.
"So what are we doing today? A trim? Oh, your hair is much too lovely, don't tell me you want to chop it off!"
I giggle a little and she laughs.
"So what'll it be?"
I don't really want to chop my hair off.
"A trim please."
She takes my butterfly clips out and brings me over to the hair washing station. Wow. It feels so good. After that, she brings me back over to where we were. She starts cutting off the tips of my red hair. For some reason, it makes me feel a bit sad. Maybe it's because I haven't had my hair cut since...
Since my parents were alive.
I sit there and let the woman finish cutting my hair. Then she blow dries it and puts my butterfly clips back in. I look in the mirror. I don't even look much different. My hair is still long. And it's still red. I smile.
"How do you like it, madam?"
I look at the woman.
"It's great."
The woman smiles at me.
"I'm glad you feel that way!"
I jump from the seat and go wait for Jessica.
Once I see Jessica, her hair is very different. She had it chopped to chin length and dyed blonde. Interesting. It looks good on her.
We leave the Salon after Jessica pays. Next is clothes shopping. We pull up to this huge clothing store and we get out of the car.
Once we are inside we start looking in the section for my age group. I pick out a few pairs of jeans and some tops. Mostly stuff I can layer like what I have on.
Sometimes I wish I had the fashion sense that Heather and her super popular friends have.
I wish I was pretty like them too. And it's not that I think they have great fashion sense or that they're the most beautiful. It's that everyone treats them that way. Like they're the most beautiful girls in our school and that they have the most amazing fashion sense.
Everyone pays attention to them. Everyone is nice to them. Even when they're not. I just get called a loser, ugly or stupid. And everyone just plays along like it's so funny. But at the end of the day...
I feel absolutely horrible.
I take a deep breath as we go to the dressing rooms to try everything on.