my eyes don't know what to address first. all of my friends are adorned in comfy clothes like tracks and lazy shorts, oversized t-shirts and hoodies. then in the back corner of the garden, a sheet has been thrown over the hedge neatly, with a projector pointing towards it. there are all sorts of blankets and pillows and fairy lights strewn all over the place, and there's a cool box filled with drinks. the garden table's got a load of bowls filled with all manor of sweet treats. how did this even happen without me realising it? is this why the girls suggested going out after school? so yeonjun could set everything up here while we were gone? that would explain why he was waiting at the door for me, bringing me straight upstairs so i couldn't see what was going on in the garden. oh my god. oh my god!
i lift my hand to my mouth, covering my stupid smile as everyone comes racing at me. i'm smacked into by a load of hugs. everyone is here - liv, taehyun, kai, soobin. all six of my british bunch (daeun, jayden, landon, emma, william and rachel). then there are their partners (kendall, rhian, natalie, erik, justin, brad). i'm not close with them all but we all get along just fine so it's a nice surprise to have them all here. i'm glad i don't see a particular little someone, known as elena.
"surprise!"
"happy birthday!"
"look at her face - she didn't have a clue!"
"how's it going birthday girl!"
"you have any idea how much effort it took to keep jayden quiet?" landon laughs, while jayden pathetically makes a 'what? that's not true?' face but gives up because it quite clearly is.
"i almost accidentally gave it away like three times." daeun laughs.
"come on! we've got movies set up and everything!"
"a peach bellini with raspberries for the birthday girl." landon says, handing me a very fancy looking glass, knowing my favourite drink.
i'm still smiling in the shock of it all before turning over my shoulder to see yeonjun. he's just observing it all while leant against the doorframe with a small smile. clearly he's feeling a bit too shy to get into all the noise and hustle. when he notices me look back to him, there's a twinkle in his eyes, and his smile seems slightly sweeter. i feel all giddy, and am dragged over to the whole blanket/projector/snacks set up.
the whole evening is, quite simply, amazing. i couldn't have dreamed of anything better.
as it's a school night, people have been gradually leaving, wishing me final birthday wishes and thanking yeonjun for his fine hosting. the sunset has faded behind the house, and the stars are beginning to glint up above. we say goodbye to daeun, kendall and soobin who are last to leave, and yeonjun closes the garden gate behind them, turning back to me.
i just smile at him. "this day has been the best." i say to him simply. "thank you so much." i say with a little laugh.
he smiles to me. "it doesn't have to be over yet." he says with a gentle kind of smile.
i feel a swirling inside, and i smile up at him.
moments later, the two of us are lying on the trampoline, surrounded by blankets and cushions. we're staring up at the stars in silence. i reckon if we were deep into the city, we wouldn't have this view. there'd probably be too much air pollution to see the stars very early, but on the outskirts here, we can just about make out the small sparkling specks in the huge open sky above.
"crazy how small you feel when you think about how huge the sky seems." says his quiet, low voice.
as i look up into the endless void, i'm picking at the frayed edges of one of the blankets. "yeah." i say quietly. "makes you feel so insignificant."
"we could disappear right now and the world would still be going around like we meant nothing." he says.
"you know what's weird?" i say.
he's silent, waiting curiously for me to continue.
"there's probably thousands of people around the world staring at the stars right now, just like us, thinking the exact same thing."
"that is weird." he says. "i bet one of them is names rider." he says.
i chuckle slightly at his randomness. "why rider?" i ask.
"dunno. first name that came into my head."
i laugh softly though my nose, watching the sky turning ever so slowly. rider. that name rings a bell. "oh." i suddenly say, sitting up.
"what?" he asks.
"yeonjun, i...i got a message on instagram today." i say to him, and he sits up slowly beside me. "from a guy called rider stewart."
"okay..." he says cautiously.
"he's a music producer." i say.
even in the darkness, i can see his expression change. his eyes widen.
"what?" he says quietly. "what did he say?" he asks more urgently.
"i don't know...i didn't open it. i was scared." i respond.
"what of? let's open it." he says. "where's your phone?" he asks.
"no idea. i think someone was taking pictures on it earlier." i say.
"that's it there, isn't it?" he points to the iphone in the grass by the ice box. i'm surprised he spotted it in the dark. maybe the moon is reflecting off of it from his angle.
i nod, about to fetch it but he places his hand on my knee. "stay here, birthday girl, i'll get it." he says, sliding off the trampoline. people have been calling me birthday girl all day, but for some reason, when it comes from his lips, it makes me smile a little more.
he comes back, passing me the phone which is slightly cool from the evening breeze. i'm kind of getting used to the constant notifications, though it's still really weird. i go into rider stewart's dm, and we shuffle together to read it.
hi, one of my colleagues showed me the video of your song. i've not been able to stop thinking about it since. you both have incredible voices, your harmonies are angelic, and you have a knack for writing. you two have potential and i know you'll make it far. get in touch if you're interested in producing in the future. all the best - rs.
we look to each other, our faces lit up, and not just from the screen.
"is this for real?" he asks.
i just laugh with disbelief.
"do you wanna-"
"yes." i say, before he can even finish.
"so we're really doing this?" he grins.
"yes!" i say, feeling the excitement building up. i lean into him sideways and his arm goes around me automatically, like he doesn't have to think about it. i can feel his heart beating.
"well i guess we're stuck together then." he says from above me, resting his chin on top of my head.
"i'm glad we're stuck." i say.
then he hesitates. he hesitates like he's thinking about something, but don't quite know how to put it. "chaewon." he says, slightly pulling away.
"yeah?" i say, turning to face him.
he pauses. "what if we weren't just stuck together because of music?" he asks cautiously.
i begin to smile, hoping this is going in the direction that i think it is. my smile encourages him to speak again.
"what if we were stuck because of...something different?" he asks nervously. i've only seen him nervous once before, right before we went on stage. but this is a different kind of nervous. he's sort of nervous in a sneaky, hopeful way.
"and what might that be?" i ask with a cheeky smile.
"um." he says, rubbing the back of his neck as he looks down at the blanket. "what if you were stuck as...like...my girlfriend?" he asks me quietly, looking back up to me with a sneaky smile, and like he's scared i'm about to hit him.
i bite my lip to stop this smile from completely taking over. he looks down to my lips hungrily before locking his eyes onto mine. his black-laced irises are luring me in, and i kiss him. i kiss him without even thinking. i don't even process it. i'm not scared to kiss him like i was before. instantly his arms are around me, leaning me back across the blankets as he comes over the top of me. my heart is pounding, and he breaks the kiss briefly.
"is that a yes or..." he asks, as his eyes travel my face.
i smile up at him. "yes." i laugh, and our lips connect again.
feeling his body on mine makes me feel so unimaginably giddy. this is my boyfriend. choi yeonjun is my boyfriend. i am his girlfriend. that's how he'll introduce me to people. 'hey, this is chaewon, my girlfriend.'. we're boyfriend and girlfriend. we're official. this is real.
"oh god-" he says, breaking the kiss again. "what about-" he starts saying, realising how complicated everything is suddenly about to become.
"can we just...not think about it right now?" i look up at him.
his eyes wonder my face again, and he smiles down at me. "okay." he says quickly, kissing me again. feeling his short breaths and his arms around me makes me feel electric.
then we hear a scraping sound, like the sound of curtains. we both look up to the kitchen window quickly, realising that juwon must have noticed us kissing, so closed the curtains before anyone could catch us. we look back to each other, smiling, knowing that juwon is going to always have out backs.
this day has honestly been the best. simply the best.