the next morning, after showering and changing into a cute outfit - little dark grey tennis skirt and a light grey oversized sweater, i head into the kitchen, expecting to see everyone eating breakfast like normal. but they're not.
"surprise!" i suddenly hear a chorus of voices say from the open door leading into the dining room. flipping nora that made me jump. i turn towards it, smiling widely as i see the family all stood around the dining table, with an array of waffles, berries, whipped cream and chocolate spread all placed down like artwork.
"oh my god." i laugh, stepping inside.
"happy birthday sweetheart!" siwoo says while squeezing me tight in her warm hug.
"thank you." i smile with glee, and jihye hugs my leg from the side.
juwon walks over with open arms, smiling as he hugs me. i peer over his shoulder at yeonjun who is smirking at me. when we catch eyes he winks at me, and oh lord was that a blessing of an heavenly sight to see.
"you didn't have to do all this." i say in astonishment, looking across the table at all of the deliciousness i see.
"nonsense!" siwoo laughs. "tuck in! tuck in!"
and we all sit down, laughing and chatting while enjoying the most scrumptious breakfast imaginable.
before going to school, i put on my chunky boots, and my crossbody bag.
in the car on the way to school, the windows are down and the music is up. i'm in such a good mood, where as yesterday morning i was in the worst mood and was so close to turning myself in and going home. but now everything is good again. better than it's ever been.
when i feel yeonjun place his hand on my leg as he drives, i smile down at my lap before sneaking a glance up to his face, and he smiles at the road ahead.
i take out my phone, and switch it on for the first time since i recorded that voice memo two nights ago. i don't really go on my phone that often, unless it's arranging plans, taking pictures, or keeping in touch with people who are far away. i've never been big on social media, just scrolling aimlessly instead of going out and actually doing things. my friendship group at home barely speak on snapchat, as the majority of the time, we're together in person. whether we're at school, or sat on the old tracker, or we're river jumping, or lying in the horse field, or sat in the pub gardens, we're usually together so spend no time on our phones. then add all of these followers and the attention i've got since friday night, it's kind of freaking me out, so i've been going on my phone even less that before. but i know that i would have family sending me birthday messages so i should go on and respond to them.
against, it's exploding with notifications, mainly from instagram, but i have loads from snapchat too. opening the snapchat app, i notice all of the people who've been posting pictures and messages on their stories for me.
i smile down at the phone, tapping onto the first story. it's ruby, a friend from home. she has posted a small collage of photos from a bonfire party, where we were maybe a little bit too tipsy, swinging from the branches of a tree. "happy birthday nutter, u mean the absolute world🌎 hopefully there aren't many branches for you to snap in nyc ;) hope you're having the best time, super proud of you and your amazing song!! sending you all my love <3". i smile down at the screen as i respond, looking through more birthday messages. tanya, one of my gymnastics pals has posted a video of us both doing loads of back-handsprings again and again down the fast track, and said "happy birthday to the most talented girl i know, thanks for always stealing my starbursts and supplying me with endless hot chocolates in the staff room ;)". the next one is a picture of a group of us river jumping, and thomas says "happy birthday girl <3 sorry for all the times i've tackled you into the river but you spilt tea on my jeans so we're stevens😎". next is a video of me running away from jake's nerf gun bullents down the stairs of riley's house when a group of us slept over. riley says "happy birthday pal!! without a doubt my favourite person on this planet. if miss reeds ever changes our chem seating plan imma throw hands". i'm sort of laughing down at my phone as i'm reminded of all of these memories, and am responding to all the cute messages, then i flick onto the next one. it's from jake, my ex. it's a picture of us both sat on the picnic bench with ice creams. his arm was swung around my shoulder and he had just booped me on the nose with his ice cream. "happy birthday chaewon missing you like maddd have the best day u utter moron. now you're old enough to drive i'm scared for the lives of many :) <3".
i hesitate, staring at the screen for a second. i'd say we ended things around three months ago. it wasn't because the feelings were gone, it was because he was moving away. two years, we were together. it's crazy how close you can become with someone in that time. i feel like he knows anything and everything about me and vice versa. we were childhood friends. i'd be lying if i said i didn't miss him. but i don't think i ever truly loved him, if that makes sense. i mean, i loved him. but i wasn't in-love with him. does that even make sense? i wonder what he's doing in weymouth - the seaside tows he has moved to. does he ever think about me?
"chaewon."
"hmm?" i turn to yeonjun.
"i said are you going out with the girls later?"
"oh, yeah, we're going shopping i think." i say.
"thought so." he says, as we pull in to school.
why do i feel guilty about thinking about jake while i'm with yeonjun? is that bad?
heading through the school, i'm suddenly bombarded with people rushing over. daeun and kendall are first, and it doesn't take long for taehyun, kai, liv, landon and jayden to come over too. they're all screaming happy birthday and there are hugs all around.
the chatting and giggling and cooing and gushing goes on for a little while, and the school day continues. i'm getting a number of comments from people i don't even know, it's a little bit strange actually but nice i guess. i've had messages flooding in thorough the day, some from friends, some from family. i'm sat in the canteen laughing with everyone when i'm looking at my dms. fairly near the top, there's a message from a verified account, meaning they must be a notified public figure, celebrity to global brand. um. well that's kind of a big deal. the account name is riderstewart and the profile picture is a guy with a dark black background, it seem like it's professionally shot photography. he's middle aged, very athletic sort of figure, with a sort of intimidating smile thing going on. for some reason i'm scared to open the message. instead, i look up the account and click on the profile. there's no bio or anything, but it says music producer under his name. oh my god. has a professional music producer messaged me? what the hell? should i be excited? scared? confused? all of the above?
when daeun says my name and starts talking about some kind of funny memory with alcohol, i lock my phone and do my best to zone into the conversation. i'm trying my best to look as though i've not just been dmed by a professional music producer. i need to tell yeonjun. how will he react.
the craziness of the day almost makes me forget about the dm. the school day went by so quickly, it feels as though six hours went past in six seconds.
after shopping in times square with the girls, which was the best, kendall has driven to yeonjun's to drop me off. the guitar i bought for yeonjun is across my lap in it's brand new case with its brand new capo and brand new small set of picks. i don't even want to talk about how much i spent. it was so much, but it was my money that i had earned so it's up to me what i do with it. so i did this. i don't even feel guilty about it.
we've pulled up outside, and i don't want yeonjun to see the guitar yet. i want to keep it a surprise. i'm about to open the car door to get out, but then the front door opens.
"shoot, what do i do?" i say quietly.
"he's going to see it." liv says in a panic.
"we could wait for you to go inside, then we'll hide it in the bush for you?" kendall suggests.
"yeah, good idea!" daeun says.
"shhhh!"
"we're in the car, he can't hear me." daeun says.
"daeun honey, you're loud as fuck." liv says, making us all chuckle.
"go on, he's waiting for you." kendall says.
"he'll get suspicious." liv adds.
"okay, okay." i say. "thank you guys so much for today." i say to them all.
"no problemo pal!" daeun says. "happy birthday love!"
"yeah enjoy the rest of your birthday." kendall says.
"see ya, dude." liv smiles to me.
i smile goodbye, while sliding the guitar off of my lap discretely as i get out of the car, making sure yeonjun doesn't see it.
"hey." he smiles to me.
"hi." i smile back.
"nice time?" he asks, holding the door open for me as i come inside.
"yeah, really good." i smile up to him.
"good." he says. "come with me."
i look up at him with a suspicious smile as he begins to lead me up the stairs. he walks me across the landing and plants me in front of his bedroom door.
"close your eyes." he whispers.