"you're acting weird." yeonjun says to me from in front as i follow him up the stairs.
"sorry." i say quietly, feeling awkward.
"you going to tell me why?" he asks, reaching the top and turning to look at me.
i just shake my head, avoiding eye contact.
"wha- hey." he says, catching my arms in each hand so i can't walk off. "what's wrong?" he asks me, studying my face.
i brush his hands off of me before squeezing past him. "it's nothing, yeonjun." i say, trying to sound as convincing as possible.
he stands and watches me walk onto the large landing. "chaewon, talk to me." he says in a quiet, comforting tone.
i cross my arms, hugging my body. "about what?"
he approaches me slowly. "what is it?"
i eventually look up at his face, as his eyes travel my features in examination, trying to figure out the problem. i take a long breath, not sure what so say before eventually asking, "what happened last night?"
his shoulders slump slightly. "is that what this is about?" he asks.
i shrug half-heartedly.
"she wanted to talk." he starts saying. "her parents are splitting and she's not responding so well." he starts explaining. "she was upset, and was crying about it. we used to be close so...i don't know. i guess she felt comfortable crying in front of me." he says.
i blink, listening to what he's saying before asking. "until two am?"
something shifts in his face when he realises i overheard his conversation with juwon last night. he thought i was asleep. i don't know why my heart is pounding so hard.
"she was a mess." he says. "and she was emotional and-"
"you hooked up." i say, looking at the floor with a sigh.
"no." he says, putting his hand on my arm in a reassuring way. "no, we didn't."
so much relief washes over me when he says that. "so why was she here that late?" i ask him quietly.
"she started kissing me so i told her to stop, then she said i was a dick for turning her down." he says is an irritated tone. "she was being all weird, saying she wanted me to take advantage of her, but nothing happened. we spent the rest of the night arguing." he tells me, with his eyes locked onto mine the whole time.
my heart pace steadies as he says that. i nod slightly, trying not to show how relieved i am by those news.
"why?" he asks me hesitantly, almost with excitement dancing in his eyes.
shit. he wants to know why i cared about them hooking up. how do i respond to that, without making it sound like i have feelings for him?
i shake my head slightly, looking at the floor.
"say it." he says, taking a step closer.
suddenly my heart rate shoots straight back up.
"if you say it, i'll tell you why i turned her down." he says to me.
i lock eyes with him when he says that. is he implying that he turned her down because of me? i blink up at him, at his startling dark eyes which are swimming with lust. i don't know what to say. words aren't forming. thoughts aren't functioning. i'm just captivated by his hypnotic eyes and my quickening heart.
"yeonjun!" jihye calls up the stairs.
saved by the distraction.
"yeonjun! i remember my dream from last night!" she says while running up the stairs.
i tuck my hair behind my ear, trying to act casual as yeonjun eventually looks down to his little sister. last night, to make her go to sleep, he told her she needs to tell him what she dreamt about.
"yeah?" he says to her with a bit of a sigh, clearly slightly annoyed that we were interrupted.
she stops when she's almost at the top of the stairs. "yeah, we were in a big field-" she starts saying, and he sits down on the top step facing her.
now's my escape.
i head towards his bedroom to get the jar, glancing back to him briefly. jihye is talking aimlessly, but yeonjun's head is turned towards me, his eyes following me until i'm out of sight.
i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding. i almost had to admit it. i almost had to admit the way i feel about him. the idea of that is too petrifying. i can't admit it. it makes me vulnerable. he could turn me down. i mean, the way he's been acting has been suggesting he feels the same way, but that if it's just some trick? what if he's just flirting with me for the fun of it? what if he made a bet with soobin or someone to see if he could make me fall for him? unlikely - i know. but it's possible. the idea of that is just too nerve-racking, so thank god for jihye and her dream, letting me escape that situation.
i pick up the jar from his desk, before going back to the door, watching them at the other end of the landing.
"-and then we ended up by this big sign that had spaghetti on it, then i woke up." jihye says.
"huh. maybe your dreams predict the future." he says to her.
"how?" she asks.
"because we're having spaghetti tonight." he tells her, before standing up.
her eyes widen and her face lights up before she runs downstairs going "mommy! mommy! i can see the future!"
yeonjun smiles at the floor while he shakes his head, as he walks towards me.
i smile to him, holding up the jar.
"you want to pick?" he says to me.
we're both sat on his bed as i pull the first lolly pop stick out of the jar. i turn it over in my hand to read it. lunch in times square. i smile down at it, turning it around for him to see.
he smiles, his eyes flicking back to me. it's a strange smile. it's enticing, and curious. he knows i don't want to admit anything to him, and am using the jar as a distraction. but i'm grateful, because he's letting me change the subject. he's not making me tell him. i think he probably knows. he doesn't need me to tell him. he's just looking at me with that strange smile.
"you want to pick the restaurant?" he asks.
i shrug. "i don't know any of the restaurants in times square." i say.
"what about bubba gump's?" he suggests.
i frown slightly. "the...famous one? from the movie?" i ask.
"forest gump. yeah." he smiles slightly. "you like shrimp?"
i nod up at him. "yeah." i smile. "so it's a-"
"date?" he says.
my heart flutters as he says that.
that's when a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, and his eyes dance with flintiness and cheek.
what's he up to? he know's were not allowed to have intimate relations with our exchange partners. he just indirectly asked me on a date. this boy had sneaky written all over him. but i'm not complaining.
not long after, we're both walking through times square. i'm wearing a black skirt with a black strappy crop top and a cropped black jacket over, and he's wearing black shorts with a white t-shirt with some black print on it. he's wearing the simplest of outfits, but he pulls it off so well. the streets are filled, jam packed with people of all ages, sizes, ethnicities and occupations, rushing in all directions. all the roads look the same, all the buildings are these humongous skyscrapers with massive billboards covering every surface.
"there's a disney shop?!" i exclaim when i spot the shop across the street.
"yeah." he laughs at my excitement. "what are you, five?"
"we have to go there." i say.
"are you serious?" he asks.
"yes, i really am." i say.
he rolls his eyes, right before a smile forms on his face.
"come on." i tug in his arm, pulling him to the zebra crossing. or 'cross road' as they say here.
the shop has racks of all sorts of disney themed clothes and souvenirs everywhere you look. the back of the shop has a massive white disney castle which you can go in that has more things on sale. the walls up the escalators are painted with peter pan and mary poppins silhouettes flying in the night sky, with lanterns from tangled floating all the way up to the next floor.
i pick him out a big fluffy blue hoodie with stitch on it, forcing him to buy it. then he picks something for me, a matching hoodie, except it's yellow with winnie the pooh on it. we're giggling over stupid things as we look through the shop, then we head outside, popping into m&ms world and levi's on route to the restaurant.
eventually, we're in the restaurant. it's madly decorated - all retro and rustic with lights and table center pieces like signs saying 'run forest run'. not to mention, the food is absolutely delicious. instead of talking like normal people, we spent time whispering and giggling about the people next to us who are arguing about the jumper one of them is wearing. it's quite ridiculous and amusing.
once we've eaten, we walk through the city. we're talking for most of the way, and then my mind flicks back to elena. he said that she kissed him last night. i hate that. i know he turned her down, but the thought of her lips on his creates this vile, uneasy feeling in my stomach. i guess it's official then - i have feelings for choi yeonjun. and i've only known him for eleven days. oh god. i wonder if this boy is aware that he's the school's heartthrob. kendall told me on my first day that the whole school had fallen head over heels for him. now look at me. i've fallen too. i've fallen fast.