nov. 05, 1993
nas yawned adjusting in his seat as the lesson dragged on. he wasn't too sure what class he was even in anymore. between all the homework, working on music, booking gigs, and - on occasion - selling to the student body the new york native was drained. he had probably only spent 20 minutes with his girlfriend since the night of halloween. since the night she admitted she wanted to get physical with him.
books snapped shut and bags being zipped jolted him out of his seat. in mere seconds he was on his feet collecting his items too. he had no idea how he was maintaining so well - he hardly put effort into his work while he was in high school. he smirked to himself when siya came to mind. she made him want to be better so he simply was. plus, mrs. carter still checked in from time to time with words of encouragement. she was adjusting to marriage pretty well so of course the calls weren't as frequent. his own mother barely had enough time to herself to pick up a phone and call, but he still knew she loved him. he tried to push away the dark thoughts just praying his younger brother wasn't adding onto her already long list of shit to deal with.
nas adjusted his skully that sat on his head waiting outside the building that held his beautiful girlfriend. he was in desperate need of a shape up not trusting anyone outside of his hood with a set of clippers thankfully it was getting cold so he could hide away under his hoodies or caps. even if they didn't hang out he still made sure to walk her to class or back to her dorm at least twice a day. siya's curls bounced with her as she jogged down the concrete steps to meet him placing her hand in his. he kissed it sweetly greeting her with a loop sided smile. he was supposed to help her take her braids down, but she jokingly stated she didn't trust him with scissors.
"hey how ya doin?" nas looked over at her as he spoke than forward navigating them through groups of people.
"i'm alright. you okay?" siya tilted his head as they waited at a crosswalk taking him all in.
"just tired is all" he stated then they walked across right in front of the little diner. nas nodded at julian through the window as siya waved.
"you need your rest it's very important. want to nap with me? we can do our homework together afterwards" she looked up at him innocently. there was no way he could turn down her offer when she flashed her dimples paired with those doe eyes.
"sounds good to me" nas agreed causing her dimples to deepened.
they arrived to her dorm in no time. it was warm and clean like always. nas pulled her on top of him once she was done peeling her coat off. he moved her legs towards him causing her to squeal undoing the laces to her shoes then drop them off on the side of the bed.
"i can take my own shoes off" the southern girl sassed. she folded her arms across his stomach laying on them as he pulled her throw blanket back.
"you were taking too long" he shrugged his eyes already closed. just being in her presence made him feel comfortable.
instead of picking a fight she tucked her hair behind her ears mentally rolling her eyes for not retrieving her scarf to protect her hair. in minutes he was out cold one hand in the center of her small back and the other on her backside. the sound of him taking a breath and blowing it out soothed her so she followed suit and got a few zs too.
even though she attempted to be quiet when she arrived celine managed to wake her roommate. siya rolled slightly rubbing her eyes than looked over at her friend. celine cussed under her breath giving an apologetic look as she stuffed her bag for dance class. in return siya waved her off sliding off the bed and retrieved her bag. she pulled out her binder to get started on homework, her art booklet falling out with it. she stared at it for a moment half awake and intrigued. she couldn't think of the last time she'd used it or even thought about using it.
celine waved than she made her exit. siya flipped through the pages chewing on her bottom lip. once she was on a blank page she grabbed a pencil from her desk glancing over at the clock on the wall she shrugs. she had time to waste. let nas get some rest and get back into the groove of her art - it was a win/win situation. besides this was the reason she came to new york. she'd been so caught up with everything going on she hadn't made time for her passion. something everybody else around her seemed to prioritize. the details of the phoenix were more apparent with ever stroke of her pencil. while she crafted the outside world seemed to fade out it was only her and the page she focused on.
in siya's twin side bed nasir's eyebrows knotted together and he frowned in his dreamlike state.
the phone ringing sent a wave of electricity through his whole body. it stung as he snatch it and placed it to his ear. he couldn't make the words out - unintelligent babbling - something like a cartoon on the other side. somehow it still made him feel unease. nas shouted then in a snap he was somewhere else entirely.
the snow underneath his wheat timbs crunched with every step. he walked for a short time stepping out of the cold into the lively headquarters. papers were being pushed, meetings were being held, a group of tourist moved behind him asking for pictures and pointing in awe of the art they came across. again a phone rang, but this time someone else answered it. every person he came across greeted him with the upmost respect rushing to clear his path. his feet led him threw tall glass doors behind them was a long desk. an orange couch against the wall above it several music plaques. he circled the long desk looking down over it sat a name tag 'nasir jones' among several of what seemed to be parts of him. he turned to stare out of the tall windows the dark clouds washing away the small amount of pride he felt for a split second. for the third time the phone rang, but it didn't sit on his desk. he yanked drawers open causing things to crash onto the floor. somehow it blared louder, not inside of the office, but behind another door he hadn't paid much attention too. with a sigh he walked through the door the cold air causing him to shiver. was he back outside? the brightness almost blinding and the constant ringing of the phone was making his ears hurt as he neared it. cold to the touch. he shuddered placing it on his temple.
"i can't do this" the girl of his dreams sobbed from her end.
"siya?" he voiced in confusion the pain in her voice caused him discomfort.
"you've lost yourself and left me behind. we've reached our end!" siya's voice felt like venom. stone cold and weary.
he looked down at his palms. where the phone once was covered in crimson blood. it spread like a wildfire. he dragged his feet through a pool of it as if he was struggling against quicksand. he reached for something to sturdy his clumsy stride. a branch snagged and snapped disappearing underneath him once it fell from his grasp. the pools turning into a full body of uneasy deep waters. in defeat he huffed laying with the thick current drifting away. his body jerked than slid he crashed into something. he rubbed his eyes to adjust to the new climate. nothing. he squinted still nothing changed. he reached in front of him not being able to make out his own palms. this time he decided to sit. the feeling of emptiness was his only companion. the urge to cry overwhelming him. he groaned and shook as the tears fell. his pain rolled down him staining his shirt and ground animatedly something like a cartoon.
"nasir... baby come on get up" siya tapped against his forearm in mere seconds his eyes snapped open. she side eyed him with worry "you okay?"
he blinked slowly taking in his surroundings his body relaxed instantly. his girlfriend's soft throw blanket and her sweet perfume calmed him. nas looked over at her as she leaned against the small bed her features soft causing him to soften his hard gaze.
"yeah. had a weird dream" he stated clearing his throat tossing the blanket from his body moving to grab his bag.
"wanna talk about it?" she offered as she snapped her sketch book closed eying him in concern. he shook his head taking a seat at her small desk. with his books out and open his girlfriend sat down on his thigh.
"i couldn't even explain it if i wanted to" nas said adjust his skully to scratch his head than sighed "we got more important shit to focus on anyways" he motioned towards their textbooks.
her expression remained the same, but wordlessly she flipped through her own notepad for a blank page. needing the attention on anything else he looked at her than her sketchbook.
"what you was workin on?" nas asked scanning the booklet in front of him than scribbled his response on his notepad.
"birds" siya stated shortly tending to her own homework "it's been awhile since i've drawn anything really"
"why birds?" he asked after a short time. one hand twirling and toying with her head full of curls she shrugged as her pen worked across the page.
"no clue honestly. i gotta make more time for my art tho. i'm rusty" in unison they flipped a page; her notebook his textbook.
"don't be too hard on yourself about it. just gotta get back into the swing of things" he stated as his eyes scanned the page of material.
"gotta make time for my craft. i'm the only one not focused on my passion... it's the main reason i even came here" siya mumbled her tone feeling similar to his dream causing him to frown.
"hey" nas placed his hand under her chin tilting it in his direction "you came here for your art yes but you're getting a higher education too. you've been working your ass off!"
they stared at each other sweetly. a grin formed on her face and she nodded stating that he was right. she leaned backward kissing his cheek than turned back to her studies.
"you're always working on music... celine never misses her dance classes.. clif is booking shows... y'all are on a different level seems like everybody has their shit figured out"
"i don't" he shrugged "i'm working my ass off trying to stay a float with school - never really cared about it 'til now. outside of writing... this music shit is new to me"
"you have clif tho so it's not like your doing it all alone" she looked over her shoulder offering a simple smile "i'm sure he appreciates having you through it all"
he nodded taking in her words - her tone eerie like she was speaking to him from a distance. as if that ass wasn't parked on his thigh.
"i have you too. i'd never leave you behind" nas spoke after silence had fallen over them. she finished off the last bit of her homework dropped her pencil to look back at him.
"you better not" she teased "i'm proud of all the work you've been putting in"
"thank you shorty. if it wasn't for you i wouldn't be doing all this" nas snapped his textbook shut and stood lifting her into his arms "i'm proud of you too. my baby is a genius!"