muse; nasir jones

twelve ➢ big girls britches

july 4th 1993
after graduation life just starts beating your ass regardless of who you are. siya came from a higher class, but barely. her parents had 'good' money, but not by much. they were wealthy not rich which didn't matter to her until now. one morning her mother made a comment — something along the lines of 'nothing like having your own' so she decided maybe she could get a job for the summer. it was bad enough she had to lie about school, being able to pay a percent of tuition on her own could ease the blow. unfortunately for her working at a candle shop in the galleria wasn't cutting it.

she hardly worked halfway through june and started selling some of her art instead. gina had came for a canvas and during some light conversation she revealed her folks had rented a spot in the hamptons for her. siya was invited down, but she thought it would be hard trying to empty her room and never return without a single trace. every scenario she made up of telling her parents ended badly, but move in date was quickly approaching.

life after high school seems to age you so quick. some people were preparing for college while others were making room for babies. as she clocked out for the last time her pager sounded. once. twice. celine. mom. she counted her steps on her way to the payphone outside of the large mall deciding to dial her mother first.

"hello? is everything ok?" siya leaned on the pole next to the phone - sore from her workshift.

"yes of course hon. i'm letting you know we have some last minute business to attend to and won't be home for a few days" her mother spoke swiftly, she was on the move.

"oh ok. i just got off so i'll be home shortly" she looked down at her feet still not sure what the emergency was.

"i was planning to talk to you about school, but this just came up" her mother sighed, "so? what are you going to do?"

"what do you mean?" siya blurted dumbly. this was exactly sceneries 32-67 went down in her mind. over the phone and still not right.

"where are you going? TSU? Baylor is good too; major? hell minor? you've been so... secretive. i'm not even sure where you've been accepted to" she shuffled around and continued, "maybe we should have been talking about this in october huh? i'm sorry"

siya chuckled humorlessly, "no it's fine. you've been busy, i'm just glad you're interested now"

"i'm always going to be interested. i only want the best for you" she cooed causing her daughter to blush.

"i'm aware" she nibbled on the inside of her cheek.

"some of those girls you graduated with are already months along in their pregnancy... i don't want that for you. not now anyways" crowded noise came from her mother's end before she spoke again, "i'll talk to you later baby. our flight is about to board"

they said their goodbyes and siya pouted once the phone went died. the opportunity was right there, yet she didn't take it. with a defeated sigh she picked up the receiver and dialed again. her conversation with celine cheered her up like usual. she'd found a dance studio which was right across from this cool bar/club her cousin worked at in manhattan that had good music and all around good energy. siya was slightly envious that dance had gotten her new roommate out of chicago, but celine earned it. she said training for ballet was so intense, but worth it. it inspired siya and she knew she had to put on her big girl britches and face the music. playtime was over.

with her parents gone she had actually been in a good space artistically anyways. she'd been on the home phone talking to celine freely for hours going over all their plans for the upcoming year and than it hit her.

"you don't go back to chicago until thanksgiving?!" siya almost shrieked at the new information.

"well i'll be back in enough time to pack up and come back, but that's it" celine explained after hitting the dance studio.