The rest of the campus tour was okay. Hannah had done a nice job of showing us the ins and outs of this place, and I felt confident that Jax and I would be able to find our classes with ease tomorrow. Besides, we had the same class schedule so if I forgot, I was sure Jax would be able to get us there.
As the tour progressed, I found myself opening up a little more to Blake and Hannah; they were both nice and outgoing, which made it easy for me to make small talk with them. Jaxon, on the other hand, remained silent. I wasn't sure what killed his mood, but he really wasn't being very social, and I found myself growing irritated by him.
Hannah had said that she had an assignment she wanted to finish up, so she dipped from the tour early and headed to the library while Blake, Jax, and I walked back to our dorm. It felt kind of awkward with the three of us after Hannah left, and I really didn't like it. It was like cold, professional Jaxon was here for no reason after he was being so nice this morning. I tried my best to continue talking with Blake while trying to ignore the strange vibe I was getting from Jax.
Finally, we arrived back and I just wanted to lay down. My body was starting to hurt pretty badly again since my ibuprofen was wearing off, and the full affects of whiplash were coming back to haunt me. After all, this whole incident had happened less than 2 full days ago; I wasn't sure I should even be walking around as much as I had been.
However, I knew I wouldn't be able to rest easy without asking Jax what was wrong. Irritated by him or not, he was still my bodyguard and I did care what he thought of me. Especially since we had no choice but to spend most of our time glued together and all of our time in close proximity. I grabbed hold of Jax's hand, stopping him from following Blake back into his own room.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" I asked. I tried to ignore how much I liked the feel of his hand in mine and released my grip immediately.
Jax nodded, following me into my room which we now had to ourselves. "What is up with you?" I blurted once he closed the door.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"You've barely said a word since the coffee shop; are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine. It was just hard to get a word in between the 3 of you," he said, not bothering to look me in the eyes.
"That's definitely not true," I accused. There were plenty of moments for Jax to join in on the conversation and he didn't. "I mean, was it me? Did I slip up and say something I shouldn't have? Because if I did you should tell me. It's hard for me to know what's okay to say and what's not and I'm still learning... so if I did say something wrong I wasn't trying to piss you off..." I rambled.
"Hey," Jax cut me off, reaching out a hand as if he was going to touch me but seemingly changing his mind. "No Emery; you didn't do anything wrong. I was just a little taken aback by how forward Blake was being with you. You can't be with him... you know that, right?"
I blinked, stunned by this revelation. I had thought that maybe Jax was jealous of Blake's flirtation with me for some reason... but maybe he was just upset because it was against some kind of WPP protocol for me to date his roommate. "Oh... so that's what you looked so mad about? That he bought my coffee?"
"No... I wasn't mad," Jax scoffed, "I was more uncomfortable knowing that you and I would need to have this conversation. You can't date my roommate. He's too close to the situation and it could compromise your safety."
I wasn't sure how to respond to this at first. I didn't think the logic to his statement made much sense, but then again, who was I to question him? Besides, I hadn't planned on dating Blake. Heck, I hadn't planned on dating anyone while in this situation, so this was all fine with me. I couldn't imagine starting a relationship based on a huge lie; I literally was introducing myself under a false name to everyone, with a false background, false age, and even a different style.
"Noted," I said, "Trust me, you don't need to worry about that."
I took a few steps towards my bed, flinching as a sharp pang shot through my arm.
"Still hurts?" Jax asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "I think the ibuprofen from this morning is wearing off. I just really want to take some more and lie down." I stole a glance up at my bed. "Could... while you're here... do you think you could help me back up onto my bed? Just make sure I don't fall off?"
I was embarrassed to even ask, but I knew if I tried to climb to bed on my own right now that I'd end up hurting myself worse.
"Of course," he responded, grabbing the bottle of ibuprofen off the microwave, "take these first."
I did as I was told, and when I was finished, Jaxon helped me up the ladder, lifting me by my hips and keeping a palm on my back until I was secure at the top of my bed. I thanked him again and then he was gone, and I was left to my thoughts.
Classes started tomorrow, and although I was prepared, I still wasn't ready. I couldn't figure out how I was supposed to just move on as though my life wasn't completely turned upside down. Today I had flickers of moments where I thought that everything would be okay... but then there were times like now, when I was left alone, when my painful memories consumed me.
I supposed all I could do for now is try my best to move forward, no matter what it entailed. I knew this life would take some getting used to, but ready or not, I was about to start my new life; my new life as Skyler Finley.
******
The first few days went by without a hitch. Jaxon and I were actually becoming fairly good friends. I found out that he really wasn't the hard-ass that I had made him out to be in the beginning and he actually could be pretty funny when he wanted to be.
Hannah and I also were becoming closer. We hadn't yet had a weekend together, but we sat together during class and we did have the occasional movie night in our dorm. I hadn't really seen too much of Blake since the coffee shop, and I was okay with it. Don't get me wrong, I liked Blake a lot but I also didn't want any more awkward tension with Jax and I because of the whole "you can't date my roommate" conversation.
I also was learning that although my situation was pretty awful, I did have a lot to be thankful for. First of all, California was gorgeous, and each day walking the beautiful campus provided me with more things to love about the school. In addition, thus far, I was actually feeling like I would enjoy my classes... with the exception of calculus of course.
The hardest part for me in the first few days was that I couldn't directly speak to my dad. But again, I was grateful that Jax would relay some information to me about how he was doing from time to time; all information given to him by Chief Hale. Chief would send people to check in on him to make sure he was remaining safe, and so far it seemed that he was.
Apparently, he did a great job pulling together a funeral for me, and I was mourned along side the rest of the grocery store shooting victims. The news clip stated that this was the worst mass shooting in the history of our small city of Le Claire. When I heard about our story airing on the news, I begged Jaxon to show me some clips of the news story on his phone. I just wanted to see what was said about the store owner, and the leads they had so far in the case. However, when pictures of the victims, including my own picture, flashed on the screen I completely lost it and had Jaxon turn it off. It was still way too fresh for me, and some of the faces of the victims I could recall as they tried to escape.
Aside from not being able to speak to my dad, the memory flashes were still something I was trying to deal with every day. Jaxon was helpful with this, and always made himself available to listen when I needed to talk. He wasn't super great at comforting me, but that wasn't part of his job description. Over the past week he was just there to listen to me while I cried, which was definitely a little helpful; I just wished I had other people, girl friends, who I could confide in.
Currently, Jaxon and I were at the library, trying to get our homework done. We didn't have too much to do, but I knew that once I returned from the dorms I wouldn't be able to get anything done. He was doing something on his phone while I tried to struggle my way through the calculus homework that Jaxon had finished 30 minutes ago.
"Ughhhhh," I groaned in frustration. "How the hell does this make any sense!?"
Jaxon looked up from his phone, blinking at me as if inviting me to continue.
"Like... you said that you got 107 for your answer? Cuz I really do not see a possible solution that would lead to the same answer as you. Are you sure you're right?"
He smirked, "Of course I'm right. Is there something you'd like to ask me?"
That bastard. This was the playful, teasing Jaxon that came about every so often. Over the course of our first week he has learned that I loathe asking for help. I did begrudgingly ask for help a lot when first arriving here, but now that the whiplash pain had gone away and I was figuring out the campus, I really hadn't needed much from him. However, when I did need something, he sure liked to gloat about it.
"No..." I said, trying the equation again. Stupid calculus. I still was so angry that the WPP put me in this class after I struggled my way through it at my old college. Again, my answer was way off from Jaxon's. I took a swig of my coffee, contemplating if I should do it ONE more time or just suck it up and ask Jaxon how to solve it.
"All you have to do is ask," he teased, still looking at his phone.
"My god, fine. Mason, could you please help me with this homework?"
"I'd be happy to," he smiled, standing up to sit beside me at our table. He reached over me, sliding the textbook closer to him. I could smell his usual cologne now that he was sitting so close. I wasn't sure what the scent was, but I loved it.
I tried my best to focus on what Jaxon was saying to me, but honestly none of it made any sense. I just didn't have a math brain and I couldn't figure out any of the equations. "Ugh. Why did I have to be put back in a math class?" I complained. "I think with all that I'm going through, at least that part should have been in my own control."
Jaxon sighed, "It probably should have been." He leaned in closer, lowering his voice even more, "we had to double up some of the same classes you took already because if the mob was trying to find you, they could try and see what classes you were planning to take next year in your program. By doubling up classes it throws off suspicion."
"I guess," I said. "I'm never going to get this though. Can we just go back? I don't mind taking an F on this."
"We're gonna finish your homework, Skyler. I'll help you."
I was grateful that Jaxon was willing to practically do my assignment for me, but that didn't change the fact that math sucks and I would probably fail the exams anyway.
After almost an hour of Jaxon yelling at me to pay attention, the assignment was completed and the two of us walked back to the dorms. This definitely felt like a normal routine, and it was one that I knew I could get used to.
______________________________________________
Hii!
Not my favorite chapter, but I had to show her settling into her new life! Hope you are enjoying!
Bye bye for now!
-Haley